Am I alone again?
The last thing Mandra remembered before being pulled into the long unconsciousness was the feel of the cold sharp blade of the ice-kinfe she had made then watching as Le Beau vanished out of sight... The last thing she remembered feeling emotionally was a mixture of fear, regret, sadness, relief and hope.... The regret was her regretting that she had felt that taking her own life was the only thing she could do to save others... The fear was fear of this actually not being over and just being yet another illusion put on her mind so her body would again be a puppet.... The sadness was the sadness of making herself part from Jarod and thinking about how sad he may be if he were to know what she did... The relief had come from seeing Le Beau vanish out of her sight and the hope was her hoping with all o fher heart that she was free of him and that this madness was gone from her mind forever. When Jarod had come outside, ran up to her, and tried to wake her, she bearly heard or felt it, her body dieing... She had been too weak to respond... To acknowledge that she could hear or feel him... Mandra could feel herself ebbing away and death wrapping it's invisable cloak around her.
"Mandra, please,"
Such a light sensation was his lips upon hers... then the sob that had escaped him although barely heard made her start pulling away from death, no matter how comfortable it was feeling to her then... She found she couldn't let herself die... She couldn't let her body just stop taking breaths or let her heart rest.... She felt as if death drifted away from her as true unconsciusness came...along with dreams.
She had many nightmares.. but she figured that it was her punishment in trying to take her own life... There were some ocnfusing dreams also that left her unsettled even when the next round of images and scenes came. She didn't knw that some of the dreams were actually her memories... Memories of when she used to live in the dimension she had origionated from. As time passed, more and more of her memories began to fill into her mind.. memories of her childhood mostly. One dream was of the camping trip that her, her sister, and her parents had gone on.. the one when she first became aware of her abilities. How she had watched the campfire molding and shaping to her whim... then how other elements had done the same.... Then how when her family and her had gone back home, Xavier, Jean, and Scott had been waiting for them there... The Professor told her and her family about his institute and she was sent there the next day, her parents and older sister wanting her to get help in learning to control her powers and to go on and be raised and taught by Xavier. The dreams continued on to the day that she had found out about her family being killed in a car accident... Then of Xavier adopting her and becoming her new father... Then... The dream faded to the day she had found out that her true biological father was Magneto...
The slow rythmic breathing shifted to a different pattern as Mandra slowly opened her eyes. She looked around, trying the get her bearings on where she was exactly. It was the Medical Room... She saw the different things that were hooked onto her for support and monitoring and didn't have to think hard to guess that she had been there for a while in that state. As she glanced over at the calander, she saw it had been a month, give or take a few days.
<Am I alone again? Is my mind my own again?.... Please.. please let him be gone...> She thought.
She sat up slowly, feeling a bit weak then carefully lifted her shirt out a little to see the wound she had made... There was a scar there but by the looks of it, when it healed all the way it would not be very noticable. Sitting up had made it ache a little but she didn't mind.. She was alive and Le Beau hadn't been in sight... Le Beau..... thiking about him made her rmemeber a couple of dreams... They hadn't been nightmares but they had confused her... It had been scenes where she had been sitting next to him, his arms around her and her head leaning against his shoulder... Another of them being at someplace dancing close to eachother.. kissing lovingly... looking into eachother's eyes... And another where they wore matching rings..... She closed her eyes for a moment, forcing the images out of her mind... It was impossable... Those dreams hadn't made sense.... It had to be some remaining madness in her mind playing tricks on her... A thought came to her and she looked the the nearest person to her.
Her voice caused Beast to glance up, he'd been running back and forth between here and the advanced medical lab all day, checking on verious patients and busying himself with different projects he had. Kurt's daughter, Talia, had hurt herself in a training excercise and she only just left, though Nightcrawler remained behind by McCoy's request. Beast had been repairing a damaged machine.. well, it was more like a mechanical man, the advanced and sentiant cybernetic organisim was proving to be of great interest to the intelligent doctor that was determined to fix it up.
Nightcrawler's head turned over towards the woman, he had not met her before but she had been talked about a lot, Nightcrawler's tail flicked about slowly, he had been having a terrible last few months, his half was missing, or off somewhere with a group of demonic demon hunters. His family has been on rather shaky grounds since Mystique entered the school grounds half way through last year.
"Ah, it's good to see you are awake," Beast smiled warmly at her, his feral apparence may usually frightened those who do not know him, but there was something so warm and kind about him, when you can over look they he 'looks' and are able just to focus his presence, you realize so easily just how wonderful a person the good doctor was.
"Jean haz been vorried about you," Kurt added with another soft fanged smile, his words soaked in his german accent, "Everyone iz fine," The furred demonic looking mutant replied, stepping closer towards her as he spoke, his kind and bright yellow eyes watching her while he talked.
"Ze Professor iz in some form of coma still, Hank has not been able to help him, ze Professor's son comes to visit both of you, he was here zis morning, but he would have left ze school by now." Kurt added rather off handedly, Jarod was the only one that really came here, Gambit had come once, mainly because Jarod had been telling Remy about Mandra and part of the man found himself curious towards this woman from the other dimension. But Jarod had been coming by every other day, he didn't stay at the school any more, Mandra had hurt herself in an attempt to get away from him so he would be safe, so since she couldn't get away from him any more, he decided to get away from her. But the young pretender found himself wandering back to the school often in the hopes that she would wake up, Xavier and Mandra where two of the most important people in his life, and both where asleep, both seemed to leave him at the same time.
He was now jumping from one place to another, every few days switching lifestyle and changing jobs and pretending to be someone else. He was still an X-men, but he spent more time out of the school on his own personal missions then he did inside the school. Every other day it seemed Agent's from A.Corp where hunting him down, sometimes he'd toy with them, leave them messages or gifts, other times they where right on his tail, far too close for Jarod's comfort, their footsteps heard echoing just behind him as he ran from them. Sometimes he would have some of the Student teams help him in his more imortant missings that were too large to handle on his own.
"Ze question is now, are you alright?" Nightcrawler's tail stopped wiggling about so anxiously, growing more still as he waited to see if she was alright or if she needed something.
Re: Am I alone again?
She saw that it was Hank and Kurt that were there and noted that Jarod was nowhere in sight. At first she worried about him then she sighed inwardly thinking it might be best if he wasn't there right then ust in case the insanity was still lingering in her mind. She felt relief in knowing that he was alright but a small frown touched her lips when she heard that her adoptive father was still in that coma. Mandra brought her hand up and combed her hair back with one hand, sighing. She had hoped that Xavier would be awake and better but it seemed not to be the case. When Kurt asked if she was alright, she looked back to him slowly. She had to think for a moment. Mandra wasn't sure if she was alright or not, really. The illusions seemed to be gone but were they really? And if so, how long would they be gone for.. Would they come back? She stopped her thoughts, knowing that if she dwelled on them, it would be more harm than good.
" I am hoping so." She replied honestly.
Mandi figured that she had been in bed long enough and stepped out of it, making sure that what she wore covered her properly and to unhook herself from various things. A very slight flinch came onto her face but she hid id quickly, hoping neither of them had noticed it. The last thing she wanted was for one of them to tell her that she had to stay in the bed longer. She didn't think that the wound was all to bad. It was almost healed up completely by the feel of it. A memory of how she had been placed into that short coma made her shudder and rub her arms a little.
" I think I'd perfer some different attire than the ones I'm wearing now... I am going to go to my room to change... Then I'm going to go find Jean if I can..." She said with a soft smile as she started heading to the door.
She paused, resisting the urge to grab the wall for support. She was still weakened from having only laid on the bed for that month but she really didn't want to show it. Mandi looked to Hank.
" Thank you for helpping me, Hank..." She said.
OOC- She hasn't left the room yet.. and I made a rough pic of what she looks like.. or at least an idea of what she looks like.
Re: Am I alone again?
ooc: ooooo! I was going to ask before if there was someone who you thought she could resemble.. I wanted to have her in a Jarod Siggy, who is that person you used?
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There was another smile flashed towards her from Beast, Hank wasn't going to insist she stay in bed because he knew that she wouldn't listen, none of the X-men tended to listen unless it was serious, and she appeared to be well enough, as long as to took things easy and didn't push herself too hard.
"Jean vould not be here, Connor und Madison have vanished, taken in front of ze police station, Jarod iz zere on assignment trying to see vhat he can find on ze kidnapping." Kurt's tail flicked about agitatedly, he didn't not like how they had just vanished, and to make matters worse Wolverine went after his kids and now he is missing as well. "Logan went after zem, zay are his children, he haz vanished asvell.. Jean ist looking for all of zem, some of ze other X-men are out searching vith her." Kurt explained since he didn't want Mandra looking for Jean while she wasn't feeling well and be unable to find her.
"Jean will be in the staff lounge later today, there is a meet she won't miss that, perhaps you could go to the staff room at about five this afternoon, you should catch her there definitely." Beast had suggested while picking up some of his work to take down to the advanced medical lab in the sub-levels so he could continue fixing the cyborg.
Re: Am I alone again?"Jean vould not be here, Connor und Madison have vanished, taken in front of ze police station, Jarod iz zere on assignment trying to see vhat he can find on ze kidnapping....Logan went after zem, zay are his children, he haz vanished as vell.. Jean ist looking for all of zem, some of ze other X-men are out searching vith her."
Mandra frowned in hearing the bad news about the missing people and bit on her lower lip lightly as concern welled up inside of her. She didn't like the idea of the missing persons and even less the thought of them having not been found yet. It made her uneasy. Mandra ran her fingers through her hair as she sighed then looked to the side as she thought. She was trying to decide what to do.... She may be no telepath but maybe she could help in some way... She was about to suggest the thought but then silenced herself before she could utter one word. No, she wouldn't be helpping.. She didn't even know if she was sane again or not. The telltale glowing of her symbol and the rims of her eyes told of her uneasiness and hinted of other disturbances in her mind.
"Jean will be in the staff lounge later today, there is a meet she won't miss that, perhaps you could go to the staff room at about five this afternoon, you should catch her there definitely."
Mandra looked to Hank as he spoke then nodded, showing she heard and understood him. But before she let herself leave the room, she had to say something that was on her mind.
" Hank.... Kurt.... If I start acting strangely...." She paused for a moment, trying to think of how to explain. " Well, if I start acting strangely, please have me locked away or something... Before.... Something was happening to my mind and it was driving me mad. I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't know if I'm alone anymore...." She said in almost a whisper.
OOC- It's a modle from Fredericks. A cousin of mine. I didn't really fit the description like I wanted to so I used her picture instead of mine.. I am about to make a better pic of her than that and should be done with it either by Wed. or at the latest Sunday US Eastern time.
Re: Am I alone again?
ooc: I have adobe Photoshop 7, I don't mind altering pics myself if you don't have the time, the program makes it really easy to do, but I can't wait to see the pic!
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" Hank.... Kurt.... If I start acting strangely...." Nightcrawler glanced over at McCoy for a moment before looking back at Mandra as she spoke, " Well, if I start acting strangely, please have me locked away or something... Before.... Something was happening to my mind and it was driving me mad. I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't know if I'm alone anymore...." Kurt looked a little sympathetically towards her, he wished there as something he could do, even Beast couldn't figure out why she was experiencing the things Jarod had explained were happening to her.
"Don't worry, I promise you, if zere is anything odd happening, zen we vill put you somevhere safe," Kurt's bright eyes had a look of assurance about them, offering her a small smile as well, his long arrow-headed tail swaying slightly behind him. He was dressed in his black uniform since he had just returned from an assignment with Gambit, Cyclops and Jean earlier that morning. Cyke already left for Canada to deal with some problems over there with some of the other older X-men, Gambit was lurking about the school rather miserably since Rogue was having a terrible side effect from the Witch King's possession and the minds of people she's absorbed in the past have began surfacing randomly.
Everyone was a little on edge to say the least, and Kurt was curious to see how this meeting will go in the staff room, it was taking place there instead of the War Room since a more relaxing atmosphere would do the team better then the usual room they use to plan operations.
Re: Am I alone again?
She saw the sympathetic look that Nightcrawler had in his eyes then inwardly sighed. She didn't want sympathy, she had just wanted for them to be warnned in case she wasn't completely right in the mind yet.
"Don't worry, I promise you, if zere is anything odd happening, zen we vill put you somevhere safe,"
Now the inward sigh became a real one but not too loud or forced. She hoped that he ment somewhere safe as in not for herself but safe for others. Questions begam to come to Mandra's mind about how they may manage to get her to wherever they planned to if she was to go berzerk but thinking about that didn't help with her trying not to get worried. She pushed the thoughts out of her mind then nodded. She slowly walked out of the room and into the hall before making her way to her dorm room. She definately wanted to get changed before she went to that meeting...
Re: Am I alone again?
Hey, that's really pretty!! Would you like me to add it to your title, that way when you post people can see it, I think it would be a shame for people not to see that!
All add it now, and you can see if you like it or not, if you don't, I'll remove it!
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