An Apology.. Chadstone way
The shower was welcoming, refreshing, and helped easily detour thoughts that were negative and too bothersome for Max’s interest. But it was revitalizing enough that Chadstone had a spring in his step almost… it didn’t occur about his brothers, he thought they’d long gone back to the heart of District X inside of New York, where James apparently had his firm established. It wasn’t that James hadn’t wanted Max to know… Max was supposed to call him later tonight and James would tell him then, at this point the other brothers were still hunting for an affordable flat or room they could rent for a few days… just a few days… just in order to make sure Max was ok.
The finely toned arm knocked on the team dorm room where Matt was residing, to be opened by a girl that looked up at Max as he pushed his way in past her, getting an irritated ‘hey’ from Angela and an annoyed looking lizard on the ground that seemed to be snarling up at him. The dragon bared its teeth and Max raised his hands in surprise. "Whoa…" The slight nervous look was faint but Angela folded her arms contently at Max’s shock.
"It’s a little rude just barging in here like that you know, it’s not your dorm." The empath stated with slight irritation… she’d seen Max elsewhere before and she hadn’t liked his personality, just coz you looked nice didn’t mean you can step over people, besides, Matt hadn’t had the best of afternoons it seemed so Angela really didn’t want trouble strutting in as if he owned the place.
"Well as long as it was only a little rude then… that’s not too bad." The expression of the girl didn’t seem to lighten up and while she was shorter then him, Max found himself motioning slightly towards the halls where the dorm rooms were. "I’m just in a hurry, I was with Matt earlier and he seemed upset from something that happened so I’m… I’m here to make sure he’s ok and all." There was an ever so charming grin that came with the ending of his sentence, and while it was charming and while he looked so achingly sweet, Angela’s lips thinned more and her dragon gave a discontented huff.
"Then wait here and I’ll get him." It seemed the most logical thing to do other then having Max storming in and interrupting her team mate, but it didn’t seem that their guest had any desire to let her alert Matt to his presence… or he just wanted to be left alone and found her a hindrance to his plans, whatever they be. But this was HER place too, not his, and if Matt wasn’t in the best of moods, then why couldn’t he decide if he wanted some random guy dropping in and bothering him?
"Why? You think he can’t handle me on his own?" Ok… while originally it wasn’t meant to be kinky, Max had a mental implosion of realization towards how someone like him just couldn’t say things like that due to the fact everyone knew he tended to think that all he ever thought about was being kinky and charming… "I just want to make sure he’s ok." Max turned around for a moment, paused, then looked back at the girl with a light smile. "So where’s his room?" Angie rolled her eyes a little in mocked exasperation. But gave Fear playful smirk as he nipped at Max’s feet while Angie moved passed him and towards the hall where Matt’s room was, there was a motion of her hand at the door but she didn’t stop and continued on further down till she reached her own door and ushered the dragon in with her.
"Come on Fear, just in case Matt has an urge to go homicidal on someone, I want to be able to say honestly I saw nothing." The door shut firmly behind her, leaving Max staring on with his head slightly cocked… she was… odd… but he wondered if she was trying to suggest that Matt was really not in the mood for uninvited guests. Good thing Max didn’t really consider himself someone that fell under the category of one who needed to be invited. So instead of leaving the other be, he tapped cheerfully on the door.
"Matt? I thought we might go for some drinks or something…" Ah yes.. that infamous something… hadn’t it ruined his life enough? Max still had his single room, that gave him somewhere to go when he had a date instead of sneaking them into his dorm room… oddly enough he didn’t really want to rub other woman into Garnets face… just in case it puts her off him and harms whatever chance he might have of scoring another chance with her. "Hellooo? Are you ok?" Two seconds, two minutes, none of that mattered to Max, if it wasn’t instantaneous then it was too long and he felt impatient.
He hadn't exactly stormed off. Maybe it had been a slightly faster-paced wander though, which was entirely okay, wasn't it? After all, there could simply have been school things to be done... or team things... or anything else that could take a "thing" after it and had nothing to do with the truth. He didn't spend much time on talking to anyone, even though Angie was in when he arrived at obeX's team dorms. Just to be alone, now and then, have enough space to think, to drift, to not be disturbed - surely that wasn't too much to ask.
Music was turned on as soon as he had entered, almost before closing the door, like an addict in need of a fix he had hurried to the CD player, and - in the way of junkies - released a sigh of relief when it began to fill the room so comfortingly. He listened for a while, then switched to something more powerful and sang along, not caring if he disturbed anyone. It was his special kind of therapy, and none he would let anyone interfere with for that matter. Singing required absolute focus, it helped him to stop thinking, silenced the argument going on and on in his head.
Still he knew it wasn't forever, and sure enough, after two songs it stopped working. The voices had simply grown louder, made him miss notes entirely. It was no use. Matt turned the music down, sunk back on his bed and loosened the constraints he had imposed onto his thoughts. With a groan, he closed his eyes, one word urging him to let it out. "F u c k . . . ," he whispered, and somehow the profane sound made everything a little bit more bearable, but also inevitably real, enough for him to be unable to escape.
The question was: did he want to? Was there any point to evading? Was there any reason not to? It was a closed cycle of thoughts, making Matt suspect there was no way for him to solve this problem by thought alone. Alternative options were scarce though, and the fact that from outside an all too familiar voice was sounding didn't exactly help him to come up with one either.
"Matt? I thought we might go for some drinks or something…," Max said, and it made him cringe ever so slightly. For a moment he considered to pretend he wasn't there, but surely Angie had mentioned he had come in earlier, and why shouldn't she have? Cursing himself for not having asked her to keep people away from his door, the light elemental got up, shaking his head at the other's impatience. *Now remember... he didn't do anything...," he told himself, taking a deep breathe and doing his best to pull himself together. Whether or not he succeeded at that would probably depend on Max's empathy. Seen from that perspective, he was probably safe.
Looking at him when Matt opened the door, it almost hurt; yet he tried to keep it inside, panicking at the thought of any of this being picked up by the other. He really couldn't use this. There was no future for it. Now all he had to do was to convince his aching heart that it would be better that way. If only he knew how. "Hey, you alright?" he asked before Max had the chance to say anything. Attack is the best form of defence after all.
There comes a time when everyone of us has to take over responsibility for their actions. It stands to argue whether there is also a time when we can get rid of it again.
Re: An Apology.. Chadstone way
The door opened, and with it came the key charm to Max’s features, a perfectly trained smile that despite all its lies managed to still charm it’s way effortlessly through the barriers of the foolish or naïve… or just the recklessly hopeful. "Hey, you alright?" A rather clueless shrug of the broad shoulders followed Matt’s question, making it out as if Max wasn’t entirely sure why he wouldn’t be fine.
"Yeah, sure." Thumbs snuck into the pockets of Max’s jeans as he hovered by the entrance of the room, not really being invited it but not being told to leave either, if anything the question should be a form of invite, after all, you don’t ask a question if you want someone to leave, you say get lost or just shut the door in their faces. "You know, one of your dorm mates seems a little…" Max looked towards Angela’s room for a moment of thought to come up with what exactly might help get that bee in her bonnet out. "…Anyway, never mind, she probably needs a serious lay… drinks?" The billionaire’s son rocked forward up onto the balls of his feet, lowering his heels to the floor again and leaning back enough to balance only on the back of his heels before standing properly again. Drawing both hands simultaneously towards his chest and rubbing them contently as they clasped together. "On me, we don’t need to go out if you’re not in the mood, I got stuff in my spare room." Alcohol in the dorms wasn’t allowed, because not everyone was of the legal age to drink, not that Max cared but he’d been told off for having just a few cans of beer in the fridge, talk about military operations.
"Or if you’re not in the mood to drink, whatever you can think of, on me. Something fun," If the thought was upsetting, why bother thinking about it? As far as Max appeared, he’d completely washed aside any happenings of earlier, desperately trying to find some sort of bandaid solution to cover it all up, a moments of happiness to hide the moments of misery and fear, it’s what helped you survive over the years if you had the sort of lifestyle that the Chadstone’s had.
Re: An Apology.. Chadstone way
Maintaining a neutral facade is hard when inside you're hitting walls, groaning. Somehow, Matt managed the pretence - at least to someone as unempathic as Chadstone. Probably not the most impressive of deeds considering the relatively little effort it took, yet subjectively speaking, he felt outrageously heroic for not just throwing himself onto Max right there and then. It was all so strange, his desire to be with the other and to just run away equally strong, leaving him to react according to neither. Had he been a chicken, Matt would have started scrabbling - displacement activity being the scientific term.
Ok, so what could he do? Close the door and go to sleep? Right, not going to happen. Go with him, wherever, and try to ignore the gut-wrenching stings? Why did he suspect that would be what he'd end up doing? Then again, standing around doing nothing had worked pretty well for the past seconds. Maybe Max wouldn't notice if they just stuck to that a while until he could safely claim he had to go to bed... alone, because... well, surely he'd be able to think of some reason. Girls had it so much easier with their excuses!
"I don't really feel that well," Matt finally said, and it wasn't even a lie. Of course the reason weren't physical, but that was beside the point. "Sorry," he added with a not very convincing smile, waves of sadness hitting hard against the cliffs of his mind, slowly yet mercilessly wearing down his resolve not to let Max know anything more than what he had already said. *It's better that way.* Matt couldn't even fool himself. But what were his options?
Something had to happen. One way or another. "I'll see you tomorrow then... Cyclops' office and all. Night." Whether it was bravery or his cowardice sensing a chance to get away, he somehow mustered sounding and smiling almost normally then before he took a step back and closed the door. He didn't slam it, but let it shut just like everybody else would have done - the only difference being that he didn't wait for a reply. If he gave him the slightest chance, Max would convince him to do whatever it was he wanted to do. And at this point, where Matt was so very uncertain of which route this whole thing would follow, that would have been the worst case scenario.
There comes a time when everyone of us has to take over responsibility for their actions. It stands to argue whether there is also a time when we can get rid of it again.
Re: An Apology.. Chadstone way"I don't really feel that well," Recalling the training sessions left Max confused, Matt had shown no signs of sickliness, the mysterious illness therefore could be so grave… "Sorry," The sapphire eyes seemed to graze about the room behind Matt, what little was visible anyway, though once again they settled back onto the pale features of the student before him. "I'll see you tomorrow then... Cyclops' office and all. Night." It was sudden, Matt’s body drew away and the door swang closed, a brief shift of air around the abandoned youth caused a slight sensation across the bare skin, though it seemed to take a moment before Chadstone reacted. And even then it was only a curious stare downcast at the doorhandle, as if silently and patiently willing the one on the other side to twist it once more and reappear. The brow creased slightly, a moments of confusion flickered and died almost instantly to be replaced with a confused and dry laugh, so tangled in his throat that it barely stood out from the breath that was exhaled along with it. From then the emotions swirled to one of indignation and a slight swelling of contempt, hangs that dangled at Max’s side soon balled into fists, lips pressing together before parting to speak in a bitter mumble, half wanting to keep them silent and half wanting to scream them at the door.
"Like I’d not see hollow words when they’re flung so casually at me," Few people denied Max, and of the few that grew closer in his circle they denied him even less, and the resentment towards being brushed off left Max unsure as to what exactly upset him most about the situation, all he knew was that it did upset him… And Max was never one to tolerate something getting him upset, though his mood as of late left him with little care to push the matter and find out if this brush off directly involved Max or was because of something else that just indirectly happened to ruin his day… Of course the thought Matt might be upset over the incident earlier didn’t occur, parents tended to get hot headed, as far as Max was concerned, and nothing really bad happened… no one was really hurt or seriously offended, things could have gone so much worse after all.
The youth couldn’t care to think it over, even Max was drained by the days events with his father, the faces which watched in mockery and the way his father looked so pushed to his limits… A hand gave a frustrated wave in the direction of the closed door as Max turned and stalked off to the exit, grabbing at the side of the still open main door and making sure he slammed it loud enough for his irritation to be well understood.
Re: An Apology.. Chadstone way
As soon as the door was closed, Matt turned to lean against it, his head touching the cool surface that had no comfort to offer. He could still sense the other's presence, out there, in front of his room. It wasn't fair, he thought, Max had done nothing to deserve being rejected in such a way, but still it still seemed like the only chance for Matt to break out and get his feelings to fade. It would be a slow and painful process, yet at some point it had to begin, and the sooner that would be the better. He hadn't expected the stings to be this agonising though.
It wasn't real, and yet he thought to feel the warmth of the other's body on the other side of the door, out of reach, just like a fire in a cold winter's night that you see in the distance, imagining its heat, yet without physically being warmed. Only a few mumbled words he barely understood made it through the wood, then the sound of angry steps leaving and a door slamming shut. He flinched, closing his eyes in a subconscious attempt to keep the world around him from entering his mind. Yet it was what resided inside him that was even more to fear.
Coldness spread through his body like a plague despite the central heating keeping his room at a pleasant temperature. He shivered, allowing himself to slide down to the floor, his heading coming to rest on his knees. If he followed Max now, he could be sure to be forgiven. His whole being craved doing just that, run after him, go wherever and do whatever the other wanted - and then what? Pretend there wasn't more to it? Keep up the pretence of an intimate sort of friendship while in truth, there was obviously so much more he had just realised himself?
No, as things were now, they were already sad enough. Becoming the shadow of someone he would never be able to really be with would be so much worse, so he told himself, but it was not powerful enough a lie for it to be believed by him. A deep sigh left his lungs and brought some tears he was too weak to hold back. "Damn it all," he whispered, remaining in this position for a while, allowing melancholy to wash around him.
There comes a time when everyone of us has to take over responsibility for their actions. It stands to argue whether there is also a time when we can get rid of it again.
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