Drayk
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Posts: 72
(5/14/03 9:37 am)
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And one for the mending healer!
The Short Guide to The Mending Healer's Revenge, Second Printing
ONE. Recognize that life is short. Ponder this and resolve to obtain the highest amount of acclaim, personal wealth, and social status as possible. More importantly, resolve to achieve this goal with the absolute minimum of effort. THIS IS ESSENTIAL! Achievement with effort is something anyone can do. We are deserving of better things.
TWO. The best way to achieve Enlightenment* Without Really Trying is to befriend an ambitious Pacification Healer. Pacification Healers are notorious over-achievers. Their fondest joy is to think up complicated strategies and applications for the endless variety of CC spells at their fingertips. The most derang... er... dedicated of these will even travel enemy frontiers, memorizing key terrain features, picturing the flow of large-scale forces through chokepoints, etc. The time spent by these tactical masters to perfect their skills is wonderfully used by you, personally, to obtain soothing massages using the finest scented oils.
(* To obtain the highest amount of acclaim, personal wealth, and social status as possible, with the absolute minimum effort ... haven't you been paying attention?)
THREE. Make sure that your Pac Man takes point. It's great if he leads the group; better if he leads the zone force. Ensuring your overachiever is on point does three things. It puts him up front for effective use of his debilitating CC spells. It makes him, not you, the first target for enthusiastic counter-fire from enemy nukers and skull-crackers.
And lastly, it absolves you of any responisbility for the boneheaded decisions made by the leader. After all, everyone goes into RvR expecting, no, DESERVING, Ultimate Victory in every engagement. No one remembers the leaders during victories. Victories are SUPPOSED to happen. Losses are not. Obviously, any losses are due to the ineptitude of the leader. Do not be this person! I cannot stress this enough.
FOUR. As your brave compatriots rush forward into battle, this is often the perfect time for you to take a break. Do you see how long steps 1-3 are already? You're working too hard, friend. Ponder what sort of dessert you want tonight. Enjoy the night air on your patio. Smoke 'em if you got em. Whatever. Remember, this is about YOU.
FIVE. Learn how to heal effectively. Some people think this means keeping everyone alive and fully healed. Fools! Stop this train of thought immedeatley!
Since you are a Mend Healer, you can achieve miraculous healing acts. What good is this, if your groupmates never see it in action? Learn to let your tanks get down to a sliver of health, before you juice 'em back up to full. Consider the Battery of Life for a 3rd insta heal. It's great for keeping a caster alive. They hardly ever live. If you save one, he will look at you with damp-eyed love from then on. Make sure to let group members die from time to time, just so you can cast a Full Rez spell. Be sure to remind people that this spell is nearly as good a Perfect Rez, without having to "waste" 14 RA points.
SIX. Learn shorthand for rapid communication in combat. Things like LOP (low on power), OOP (out of power), instas gone (no more instant heals available, my comrades), and 2 heals left (it is my expert opinion that, no matter how hard I strive, I shall not be able to heal much longer!).
SEVEN. Learn to use these warning when your powerbar is atill a third full, your instas are up and ready, MCL is sitting in reserve, and your packs are bulging with Potions of Power. This will allow you to cast dozens of heals, after your group assumes you've given it your all. This will further solidify your image as a Miracle Worker.
EIGHT. All play and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Take some time off from DaoC to relax and watch some movies. Specifically, Star Trek VI. Make note how Scotty has ballooned to enormous size; much larger than of the whales he helped rescue in Star Trek IV. Scotty has obviously found ample time for gluttony and sloth. Nevertheless, Scotty is STILL considered an indespensible member of the most elite crew in the galaxy. Despite an affinty for red shirts, Scotty is STILL ALIVE.
Why? Because Scotty is a Miracle Worker. Meditate upon the Example of Scotty. Log back on to your personal Path towards Elightenment* with renewed conviction that you have made the Right Choice.
(* Surely I don't have to spell it out again?)
NINE. By this point, thanks to your badly scarred realm-mates, and the carmalized remnants of your Pac Healer pal, you are able to earn about 10,000 RP for every three Spreadheals you cast. You have ingrained yourself into your realm's subconcious. Players across the realm see you as a sort of talking 4-leaf clover, self-propelled by hundreds of rabbits' feet. Players feel it in their brain stem, that their only hope for survival is having you in the group.
TEN. Being as you have achieved a state of Perfect Enlightenment*, you can refine your game by learning some finer tricks. Since you are not wasting precious leisure time casting CC spells, you can learn to cast things like AoE Amnesia and Cure Mez. No one ever knows who casts these spells, or really notices they are even there. But they help win battles. And in doing so add to your mystical reupation as a Miracle Worker.
(* Really now!)
But really, working THAT hard is just showing off. You should be ashamed of yourself. Re-read Step One, Novice.
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Ayeiran Troat: Crestfallen Neo-Lanlubber, Hand of Eir
Ovi Fisklutare: Of the Nailten Fisklutares, Hand of Loki
Warlord, Hel Maor Guild (Percival)
Owner/Operator of Crazi Ovi's Alchemi Barn
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