Her feet seemed to find their own way back to the apartment, as if by some inner instinct. Her breath choking in her throat as she ran, coming out as sobs, which rang through the dark. Images whirling though her head … her staring out of the window into the darkened garden, knowing her parents were out there, she could hear them fighting again … Brad nearly strangling a boy his sister had dated when he found out he’d hit Nina … Riley twisting Logan’s arm up behind his back … she wouldn’t have admitted it but she was scared of Riley, he was so much bigger and stronger than her, her head barely came up to his shoulders … if he decided to hurt her like he had done Logan …
The door had been left partially open in their hurry to leave before, she entered the room, feeling like her lungs were about to burst, blood was pounding to her head, she felt light headed and sick. She closed the door behind her and leant against it for a moment, steadying herself.
She looked around, she had to get this blood off herself, she couldn’t bear to be covered in it for another second, it was drying on her, staining her body a crimson red. She pulled off her red stained top and looked around her, almost as if she was dazed then she hurried through into to the shower room. Shrugging off the rest of her clothes she stared at the bloody figure who stared at her out of the mirror … she knew her parents would have been disappointed in her, she’d done nothing in the past four years to make them proud … she would … she could, she decided angrily, she was going to go home to Washington and get a job as a waitress, you didn’t need qualifications for that and maybe in a few years she could open her own café … and she would forget everyone at Xaviers, pretend she never went there, Riley, Dawn, Sean the lot and she wasn’t a mutant, she wasn’t!! It struck her for the firs time that Riley had said he was human … but he was a mutant wasn’t he, or did he just call himself human so he could fit in better?
She shrugged at the girl with the golden skin who looked back at her and turned on the shower, hesitating only a second before she stepped under the powerful deluge of water, using her hands to rub at the drying blood, helping the water remove it’s traces from her body. She lathered her hair using some shampoo that was scented of wild flowers, removing the blood from that as well. She turned the water off, watching the water left on her run down her body in rivulets.
Cat wrapped semi dried herself with a fluffy white towel and put on her undergarments, even her bra had been stained by the blood, but there was nothing she could do about it. Clutching the towel around her curvy figure she poked her head around the bathroom door but everything was still quiet out there. She hurried across to Rogue’s room, kneeling down, one hand holding the towel the other searching for some clothes that might fit her. She found some blue jeans and pulled them on, jumping at small noises and throwing large eyed glances out of the window, as if she expected a vampire to spring through the glass at any moment. She found a black top which was rather lower cut than she approved of but under the circumstances she could hardly be picky. She pulled the black top on, pulling a comb through her hair, looking up as her quick ears picked up sounds.
RILEY & DAWN
Running as fast as they could, Dawn was almost breathless before Riley even seemed to break sweat, but she was more focused on getting to Cat....for Riley's sake.
Leading the boy up the stairs of the, Dawn couldn't help but voice some questions that had popped in her mind.
Dawn:"..Catherine told you about her family?"
But as usual, Riley's seemed to avoid the reply.
Riley:"Is it safe here?"
Dawn frowned slightly, taking that as a hint that...Catherine probably didn't tell him, but how could he know so much, did he get to read her records because he was her team leader? That had to be it...how else could he know? Cat didn't seem like the person to be blurting out about drunken parents and poor childhood.
Dawn:"It's full of Potential Slayers and Watchers and stuff....so...lot's of fighters about if we get into trouble."
Just outside of the door, Dawn paused, she hadn't closed it, she was in such a hurry before she had left it open. Which confirmed the chance Cat had returned - or someone who passed the open door closed it.
Dawn:"...You know, you haven't asked about Clay or Sean, or even about me.."
Riley stared at her for a moment, then realized she was right, he was so worked up about Catherine for some reason he completely over looked the others, how rude and selfish of him!
Riley:"I-I'm so sorry, are you-"
Dawn:"I'm fine, we all are, maybe little depressed and all, but Riley that's not what I meant...I meant...you're very worried over Catherine.."
The Agent's arms wrapped around his coat as he stood in front of the girl with a look of puzzlement in his eyes. Of course he was worried about her, last he saw her she was covered in blood!
Riley:"I'm worried about all of you, I jus-"
Dawn:"Riley...I know something bad happened to you, something that's hurt you, and it hurt very deep. I can see that, no one as charming as you can be so scared and nervous of girls who try and hit on you without a reason."
A look of bewilderment hit his face, what on earth was she talking about now? And why at this point in time, can't they grab Catherine and get her out of this world.
Riley:"Maybe that's how I was raised Dawn? Being a farm boy I didn't get to see a lot of pretty girls wondering around the hay stacks."
Dawn:"So you think Catherine's pretty?"
Riley:"What? Dawn this really isn't-"
Dawn:"No, you listen to me, I'm tired of you shrugging everything you can't explain off, we all know you're hiding something. We know because we love you, and when I get back home, I'm going to lose someone who's helped me fit into a place I thought I'd never belong in! What ever's happening to you, I wonna help, I wonna be there like you're always there for us. I'm tired of you being the one who helps and then suffer in silence when you're the one who needs help."
He watched as tears swelled in Dawn's eyes, why was she so angry with him? What did he do to hurt her like this? But suddenly her tears where replaced with a look of stubbornness as she glared at him.
Dawn:"Tell me why you come here Riley."
Riley:"I came to get you."
Dawn:"No you didn't, not me! You didn't come for me Riley, why can't you see that?"
Riley:"I don't understand what you're tryin-"
Dawn:"I'm trying to get you to see the truth dammit, and you're too blind to realize, even I can see it, and I've only spoken with you for like 3 minutes!"
Fed up with whatever she was trying to say, Riley reached out for the handle of the door, but Dawn's hand grabbed onto his arm. It wasn't until she gripped onto his arm again that she realized she could feel a slight trembling, as if he was cold yet...he felt so warm, they just ran all that way...there was no way he could be cold.
Dawn:"Please Riley, just think about it...think about the reason you're so worried over her."
With a frown as he thought over why Dawn was delaying their meeting up with Catherine, since the faster they get to her the faster they get back and the sooner they're all safe.
Riley:"I'm her team leader Dawn."
Dawn:"Riley why won't you admit it? You care about her."
Riley:"Of course I do, I care about all of you."
Dawn:"Riley, you care about her."
Riley:"I'm in charge of her protection, I just want to protect her."
Dawn:"You care about her."
Riley:"I care about all of you, now can we please get her to safety before I collapse of pain? Though she might enjoy that because then she'll be able to have her just reward and kick me to death like I deserve after having hurt her like this."
Dawn shook her head, now moving between Riley and the door, why was he being so stubborn over this? Why wouldn't he listen to her, why was he ignoring what he felt?
Dawn:"She's changed...she's at least trying to change I think...come on Riley, can't you remember how it was, we all didn't fit in at one point. We all came from normal...well...I didn't really but...most of us come from normal lives like her. We all had to struggle at first, we just want a place to belong, you want to give that to her, and that's so sweet of you, but why aren't you trying to find a place where you belong....you belong with us...just like she does, you belong with-"
Riley:"No I don't."
His voice grew sadder as he looked at her, but then with shame he looked away as she replied.
Dawn:"Of course you do, we love you, Lisa, Angela, even Cody when he's not jealous, everyone...except Max and other bullies...everyone loves you and we'll all miss you, you do belong with us."
Riley:"I don't Dawn, I don't belong in the school, please, can't we just get her and go?"
Dawn grabbed at the handle, refusing to allow him to pass, she wasn't going to let him go without finding out what was going on.
Dawn:"How can you say that? After everything you told me, after everything you said to comfort me when I first came, how can you say you, of all people, not belong there?"
There was silence for a moment as Riley's eyes stared at her with guilt, shame and a longing for her to forgive him for what she was about to find out.
Riley:"I don't belong there Dawn...because I'm not a mutant."
The sudden change in her expression almost screamed out 'What!?' as she stared at him in confusion.
Riley:"Dawn I'm human, there's nothing special about me, I'm not like you or Catherine, I'm just a guy who wants to help, so let me help!"
Dawn's eyes dropped to the ground as she allowed the information to sink in. Riley Finn...her special tutor with all the classes she was failing in...the person she trusted so much...why didn't he tell her this before?
Dawn:"Why?"
Riley:"Why?"
Dawn:"Why didn't you tell me...what? You thought I wouldn't care about you any more just because you can't shoot people across the room? You think I'll think less of you because you're not 'gifted' like the rest of us? Is that how shallow you think I am...?"
Dropping his coat to the ground as his hands instantly reached for her shoulders, his head lowering slightly so he was level with her eyes.
Riley:"No! No not at all, Dawn, I wasn't allowed to tell you, please Dawn...I know you're not like that, I know you and Lisa and Angela, all of you, I know you'd all never think of me any different, human, mutant, I know it doesn't matter to you."
Once again Dawn's eyes began swimming with tears as she stood there, more confused then ever, Riley's arms pulling her into a comforting embrace as her tears began running down her cheeks.
Dawn:"Is that why you're leaving? Are you leaving because you're human and you don't think..."
Riley:"I'm leaving because I've been asked to go back to the place I came from, they need me.."
Dawn:"We need you...I don't care Riley, please, I need you, I don't think I do this by myself...don't go....don't you want to make sure Cat's safe?"
As she wrapped her arms around Riley, she noticed, much to her worry, that his entire body had that faint tremble in it, why was he shivering like that?
Riley:"I have to go, because coming here....I broke a few rules."
He wasn't sure why he said that, in fact, it was defiantly going to cause her to worry more then to calm her down, it just slipped out..
Riley:"Besides, I know she's safe, if she's with you and the others, I know there's no place safer she can be. That boy, that was her cousin, I found him, his David or 'Dave'...he's thinking of joining the school, maybe he can convince her to stay there as well.."
Dawn:"But you told her you got a plane ticket.."
Riley:"I said I'd take care of her and I didn't...I promised if she stayed for 3 days...she'd like it there, 3 hours later I've woken up in the Med Lab with a concussion, and then I had taken her bag to my room. Not to mention dealing with vampires while you're all missing in another world and worrying over how to find you."
She pulled herself from his arms as she quickly dried her tears and wiped them away.
Riley:"After what I did to her Dawn, after how I lied and failed her, a ticket back to her old life is hardly something I would consider a fair swap...but there's nothing more I can do."
Dawn:"You could tell her you care about her."
What was with people today, Spike also started going on about this, why couldn't he just want to help someone without having some sort of crush on her, honestly, some people are so single minded!
Riley:"I don't know what's up with you and Spike, but I'm not - after what I've done to her - going to try and court the girl! We're wasting time Dawn, please, let's get her and go."
Dawn scrunched up her nose slightly.
Dawn:"Court her, geeze Riley, you make it sound like a life commitment, what happens up in Iowa, you marry your first girlfriend?"
Dawn stepped out of the way and allowed Riley to open the door, it was a moment before she remembered the barrier. But to her shock, before she could say anything, Riley simply walked into the room with ease, no barrier stopping him as he looked back at her.
Riley:"You make that sound like a bad thing, what's wrong with finding the one person that makes you happy and spending your life with them? Too many people just hook up without thinking over how they truly feel towards the other, it's how come so many people get used and abused. If we'd all just simply find that one person who could mean the world to us, then we'd nev-"
As he spoke he noticed Dawn staring off towards Catherine who had washed up and put on a new set of clothes, his eyes had followed her gaze and his words seemed to fade off into silence. Quickly he lowered his head, avoiding looking at her incase she thought he was staring or in case she didn't want to see him...
Dawn:"It's good to see you're safe Cat, we where worried."
He turned about and went outside, scooping up his jacket and returning beside Dawn, nervously fiddling with it for a moment.
Riley:"May I please use the bathroom to clean out the coat?"
Dawn glanced at him for a moment with a faint smile on her lips, he had a habit of asking her simple questions like that, he was so polite! She just loved that about him, she was tired of guys who thought being polite wasn't 'cool' and would just take what they want without a care.
Dawn:"Sure, end of the hall to the left."
Riley:"..Thank you."
He approached Cat carefully, as if thinking she might lash out at him, but once he passed her, his pace quickened as he hurried into the bathroom. Pulling the two guns from his coat pockets where Dawn had slipped them while they ran here, Riley placed them on the bench.
He grabbed one of the towels, opening the coat so he could rub the clean cloth over it, but first he soaked it lightly in water. It wasn't too hard to clean it out, but he couldn't get the image of Catherine covered in blood out of his mind, how could he ever ask her to forgive him for doing that to her?
Dawn:"I hope you're alright Cat...we're going home soon, I don't know about you, but I'm planning on a trip to the beach every weekend for the next month or two."
Riley stopped scrubbing as he heard Dawn's statement, he looked up into the mirror before him, it was strange, for the slightest, fleeting second...he almost found himself looking forward to those trips. But he wouldn't be around to go with them, he wouldn't ever see them again, not unless it was in secret, him looking in on them without them knowing..
Looking away from his reflection in disgust, he pulled the damp coat off the bench and used the dry part of the towel to dry it off as he kept his back leaning against the bathroom bench.
As he reappeared in the hallway, his coat freshly cleaned and rather dry, he stopped and glanced back at the rooms, Dawn noticed this with curiosity.
Dawn:"What's up Riley?"
He turned to face her, Riley seemed to only ever look at the eyes of people he talked with, even more so what he was talking with girls.
Riley:"I was just...it's just.."
He looked over at Cat's dark eyes nervously for a moment before looking back at Dawn.
Riley:"All I have of my old life are photo's, I was just thinking...the girl who's coming with us, maybe...maybe there's something we can bring with us to comfort her while she's in our world?"
Dawn shrugged slightly, Dawn hadn't really gone searching threw the apartment while she was here.
Dawn:"That's a sweet thought...but I have no clue where the family albums are, my family weren't big on photo's."
Riley:"Really?"
He seemed both surprised and almost sorry for her about hearing that, even in his coat he had a photo of his parents and his dog. Maybe it was just him, but he always liked having their faces with him....incase something ever happened, if he died, at least they'd be there with him.
He had memorized the photo that he kept hidden away in the inside pocket of his coat, his mother to the left, his father to the right, his black Labrador in between them. Martha Finn, Troy Finn, and Ronald Finn, they where his family, his forgotten family, if he didn't have their photo's....he wouldn't have survived so long without seeing them. He had it placed inside a plastic covering, so it was safe from the elements, and it was small so it was easy to forget he had it sometimes, able to simply fit into the palm of his hand.
Dawn couldn't help but be worried over him, especially from his earlier comment that she didn't register until now
'can we please get her to safety before I collapse of pain?'
Was that why he was all slightly shaky? ..He was in pain, even now? What was wrong with him...why wouldn't he let others help him, what happened that was so bad that it's forced him to keep people at an arms length like this.
Dawn:"Well....maybe we should get going then guys?"
Her question was more directed towards Catherine since she was the one that they had come for.
CATHERINE
She shuffled nervously into the front room, knowing that only someone who had been invited could enter, she wrapped her arms around her, she wasn’t comfortable wearing a top like this not even when she was in a room … alone where no one could see her. She tried to hear what the people outside were talking about but the door muffled the sound of their voices.
Cat was surprised when the door suddenly opened and Riley entered, not surprised in the fact that he was there but that he hadn’t been invited in, she saw the same shocked expression on Dawn’s face and decided that she hadn’t invited him in. He was talking as he entered, though his voice was angry … where the two of them still arguing.
‘Too many people just hook up without thinking over how they truly feel towards the other, it's how come so many people get used and abused. If we'd all just simply find that one person who could mean the world to us, then we'd nev-’ He slowed to a halt when he caught sight of her, she looked away, she’d never know what he was going to finish with … but she didn’t care, drawing her arms slightly closer about her, why couldn’t Sean have come to get her?
‘I can take care of myself.’ She said, but the words weren’t angry, it was just a statement. Catherine watched as Riley asked to use the bathroom, feeling slightly guilty for getting blood over it, however she reasoned he’d given it to her and he’d known she was covered in blood.
'I hope you're alright Cat...we're going home soon, I don't know about you, but I'm planning on a trip to the beach every weekend for the next month or two.' If her ears could have pricked up they would have done, beach, now there was a word she liked … she was a totally different person there, she didn’t realise herself, she just knew she loved the beach, the sea, the sand, ice cream the whole package. Catherine had an abundance of secret dreams she’d never told anyone, not even Bekki, but there was a lot Bekki didn’t know, she had no idea about Cat’s nightmares, that she couldn’t read properly, that she lived in dread of being prescribed more drugs. She’d forget things when she was on them, she’d be doing something and a minute later she would have no idea what she was doing … or she’d been drowsy all the time, like the feeling where your slightly drunk and when you turn your head it takes a second for your brain to catch up … but what was the point, yes they stopped her dreams but was the enjoyment of life worth sacrificing for that? And she was sure they weren’t doing her liver any favours. The last time she had seen her psychologist Alice the redhead had mentioned something about drugs, Cats heart had sank … damn Anne for saying about her dreams, she wanted to be Cat, not the girl who couldn’t remember meal times and spent the day dozing on the couch.
One of her dreams was to live in a whitewashed house on the beach, she wanted one with a big porch she could sit on in the evenings and she would have a dog, a boarder collie and she would call him Oliver and she would be happy, just the two of them and she wouldn’t have to care what anyone else thought of her because there would just be the two of them. Oliver wouldn’t see her faults, he’d just love her for who she was and she … she could pretend she was someone else … anyone else, maybe a movie star who had to live there to escape the media.
For a split second she hesitantly wondered if she could stay at Xavier’s and go with Dawn to the beach, maybe get a job somewhere and earn enough money to move away, to buy her white washed house … Cat had always been afraid to reach for her dreams incase she realised she couldn’t achieve them, she did know what she would do then … what was she thinking, she couldn’t turn down the offer Riley had given her, the plane ticket must have cost him an awful lot, more money than she’d ever held in her hand’s, she couldn’t not go, anyway she didn’t want to stay at the institute … did she.
She realised Riley had come back into the room and she hadn’t answered Dawn, she gave a half hearted shrug and looked down at her cat boots. The room suddenly seemed a lot smaller now he’d returned, even though there were only the three of them in there.
‘All I have of my old life are photo's, I was just thinking...the girl who's coming with us, maybe...maybe there's something we can bring with us to comfort her while she's in our world?’ She looked up sharply as Riley spoke, wondering what had happened to his ‘old life’ she suddenly felt sorry for him, perhaps she wasn’t the only one hurting. She glanced from Riley to Dawn and back again, then back down at the floor.
‘She has photos.’ She said quietly as they both turned to look at her, her cheeks flushed slightly, she didn’t like being the centre of attention. ‘I …’ She began but quickly corrected the mistake. ‘She just doesn’t like everyone looking at them, there personal, she showed me one.’ Cat understood something of how privileged she was too see one, no one, absolutely no one ever saw Cat’s photo’s of her family, most of them she kept in a shoe box under her bed, but the was one of her parents and her taken only a few days before they died that she usually had on her person or under her pillow. Like most things she loved it was very battered, it had been thumbed, dropped, stepped on, had water poured over it, it wasn’t that she meant to damage it but she tended to be a tad careless on occasions. You could measure how much she loved something by the amount of damage it had sustained., like her cat boots or Fred.
Not meeting their eyes she shuffled off towards Rogues’ bedroom, kneeling down she pulled open the bedside table looking down at the contents, her eyes finding the picture Rogue had shown her, pulling it out she looked it over, her eyes upon Rogue and Angel … she decided that Rogue needed him back, she was obviously lonely and upset without him. If he had had his soul back once they would just have to find a way to do it a second time … Oh god how was she supposed to leave Rogue alone at the school, Rogue would need her and she realised that a part of her needed Rogue … she couldn’t leave her around mutants, what if they hurt her. She didn’t realise she was acting like a younger sister might, she just knew Rogue would need her when she woke up.
She saw a shadow fall over her body, she didn’t need to look up to tell her it was Riley, she spoke before he had a chance to, shaking her head as she looked down at the photo.
‘I’m sorry Riley … I can’t do it, she needs me.’ She gathered the photo’s up and stood, not looking at him. ‘Hopefully you can get a refund … I can’t leave her.’ She was searching through the wardrobe … ‘She doesn’t have any family, I have to help her to get Angel’s soul back, then they can be happy together … See?’ She held out the photo of the group of friends for his inspection. Finding a bag she carefully placed the photo’s in the bag , bending down she added the dagger she’s left on the floor. ‘But I can’t leave her yet, not until she’s better anyway.’ She wasn’t aware that she was rambling, nor that half of what she was saying would make no sense to him. She was making it sound for all the world like he was he one who had wanted her to go, not the one wanting her to stay. But for the first time her words towards him weren’t filled with a degree of anger
RILEY
It was slightly uncomfortable for a moment once Cat had left the room, although he knew she was just in the other room, he had this ghostly feeling that something bad might happen if she left again. And to make him feel more uncomfortable, Dawn kept staring at him...
Riley:"...I should go see-"
Dawn:"I'll wait here."
Hesitating for a moment as he looked over her with a suspicious glance, he then turned and made his way into the other room with Catherine. It was amazing, he could take on a nest of vampires with ease, and yet talking to her was like...nerve racking...there was no way for him to know how she'd react!
As he started quickly going over possible sentences in his mind, her voice pulled his thoughts back down towards her.
‘I’m sorry Riley … I can’t do it, she needs me.’...Can't do what? Who needs her?
‘Hopefully you can get a refund … I can’t leave her.’...Refund? Of the ticket!? A smile flashed across his face as he listened, though as soon as he realized he quickly tried to hide it.
‘She doesn’t have any family, I have to help her to get Angel’s soul back, then they can be happy together … See?’...He looked at the photo...Angelus...or really Angel, like the Angel they have back in their world, only he's in the light. Angel couldn't go in the light in their world, did that mean he was more powerful here?
The girl...the Slayer...he read so much about her, but he's never...he never saw her before, Forrest told Riley once that the slayer was simply a myth. But that was all proven wrong after the threat of Angelus came to the Initiative's ear, but together....they looked so happy.
‘But I can’t leave her yet, not until she’s better anyway.’ ..He watched her looked around for a bag to place the photo's in, he listened to the tone of her voice....did she assume he wanted her to leave? He lowered his head slightly as he stared down at his hands, he hadn't noticed they where slightly shaking, faint enough to hopefully be over looked. He hadn't had his injections for the passed day, hopefully he'd be back at the base before they got too bad...although he's never seen them when they're very bad..
Before she saw him staring at his hands, he quickly held onto the coat and glanced down at the bag she had organised.
Riley:"She could use all the friends she has right now."
He agreed with her quietly, but then smiled faintly as he continued.
Riley:"Angela could help get you the refund for the ticket, if you plan on staying, then you'll probably need school books, new clothes, possibly other items. I won't be around to get the money back, so there's no point in just letting it go to waste. It was after all meant for you anyway, whether it's to help you leave or to help you stay...as long as it's helping you I don't mind."
He shifted about uncomfortably on his feet for a moment then turned for the door, but before he left the room he turned back to face her.
Riley:"I really do apologise for doing this to you, you didn't want to go into the school and I forced you to enter, then you just wanted to leave and I forced you to stay."
Taking a small step in her direction, as if desperate for her to understand his reason as to why he had insisted on her staying at the school. Riley looked down at his coat and then slowly looked back up at her eyes, his voice soft as if he was ashamed of having not been able to stop her from being taken into this world.
Riley:"I don't know what your feelings are towards me, but I figure they are in the negative zone, and...it's just...you know how I'm the leader of X-Force? You know, I'm in charge of all the people on my team, it's my responsibility to look out and protect them. Well I didn't do a very good job, not only did I lose Sean, but I lost you...and no matter what Dawn or any of the others tell you, it doesn't matter, I was supposed to look out for you and instead I failed you. As the guy that was supposed to help you, as the guy that was meant to protect you from things like....like this, then the money, or ticket, which ever you choose, I know it's not enough, but it's all I have to tell you I'm sorry."
He looked down at his coat once more, he was just blurting everything out and figured he was probably scaring her or making her angry more then helping her understand. But if she was staying, even if it was just until Rogue got better, then maybe she'd give these mutants the chance they need.
Riley:"Things fall apart Catherine. Evil, misery, hurt, pain and all bad things - they come and go. But the way people manage is, they don't do it alone. They pull each other through. Sometimes a person is so scared of what they don't understand, so afraid of change, that they're passing up an opportunity so good they could never imagine..."
Taking a step back towards the door as he hesitantly looked back up at her, hoping she wasn't taking anything he was saying in the wrong way.
Riley:"I just didn't want you to be one of those people who miss out on finding something good because they refused to give it a chance."
After a moment of awkward silence on his part, he held out the coat as he stood by the door, allowing her to leave the room first.
Riley:"I cleaned out the...it's cleaned and dry, I thought you'd want something warmer to wear, the airs cold and the breeze is worse...I know...it being my coat you probably don't really...but..please wear it."
It was obvious he thought she'd not want to wear something that belonged to him, especially since she had discarded it earlier and after all he's done to her.
CATHERINE
'Angela could help get you the refund for the ticket, if you plan on staying, then you'll probably need school books, new clothes, possibly other items. I won't be around to get the money back, so there's no point in just letting it go to waste. It was after all meant for you anyway, whether it's to help you leave or to help you stay...as long as it's helping you I don't mind.' Why was he acting like this ... it didn't make any sense, she eyes him rather warily, as if he was about to jump on her and stab her, but upon leaving the room he seemed to hesitate and he turned back to apologise ... the negative zone? at the moment she didn't have enough energy to care one way or the other but eyes negative would be on way to place them on a usual basis.
Was he saying she was on X-force, she looked at him from confused eyes, watching him take a step towards her, he was so quick to blame himself, so eager to apologise. She knew he hadn't strategically planned the whole thing in his basement.
'Things fall apart Catherine. Evil, misery, hurt, pain and all bad things - they come and go. But the way people manage is, they don't do it alone. They pull each other through' As far as she was concerned there wasn't really much more that could possibly go wrong in her life.
'And then they leave you.' She said bitterly, not really realising she was referring to him.
'..please wear it.' She was too tired and upset to argue with him. Rather timidly for her she stepped towards him, reaching out a hand and taking the coat from him, backing away slightly ... like an animal might warily come upto your outstretched hand for food. It wants the food your holding but it's afraid that your going to snatch out a hammer and beat it to a squashed heap.
She pulled the coat on, hugging it quite close to her, thankful that the top was covered, though the coat was much to big for her, her body lost inside it, the sleves hanging down over her hands. Again she could smell the leather of the brown coat ... and Riley, she shivered slightly she must be cold ... she was ... wasn't she?
RILEY
'And then they leave you.'...Yet again Riley seemed to look away, the hurt look in his eyes barely able to be hidden, because he was normally the one who was leaving....and in this case...he was once again the one leaving them all behind.
He couldn't stay in the room any more, not alone with her, not alone with her, he's hurt her enough, and she still hated him....not that he expected her to forgive him.
Riley:"Sometimes they leave because they have to, sometimes they leave because they're not strong enough to stay...but sometimes they leave and they don't want to..."
He frowned slightly as he as he raised his hands and looked at them.
Riley:"And sometimes Catherine, just sometimes, it's not their choice to leave, but they're taken from you, and they're to weak to fight their way back to your side."
As he spoke, he had started for the door, disappearing down the hall with a burst of even more guilt and shame then he had first felt when he came here.
Dawn:"..uh...you guys ready?"
Riley opened the door for the girls, but kept his eyes focused on the ground in front of him, refusing to look at either of them. He didn't deserve to be with them, he didn't belong by their sides....he never really did, this was all just a mission. Just a mission, nothing more...so why does it hurt so much?
CATHERINE
'It doesn't matter why ... they still leave.' She said after his back, hugging the small bag to her, lingering in the room a moment after he had left, looking around her. Rogue was leaving ... because they were taking her away, maybe she didn't want to come, but they could always find a way to send her back if she really wanted to go. But then Angel was in their world, maybe she would stay because of him, for him, people did things like that when they were in love, didn't they, they would give up everything, they were stupid she thought angrily and then everything fell apart and they were left alone and hurt, dejectedly she followed Riley down the hall.
'Yeah I'm ready.' She said to Dawn, not even looking at Riley, she didn't get him, one minute he was giving her money the next he seemed to go all cold and was seemingly in a huff with her. She'd never understand how men ticked she decided as they left the apartment, she didn't look back, but stared at her feet as she walked. She'd learnt there was no point in looking over your shoulder, you couldn't go back, not ever. She kept very near to Dawn as she walked, wanting for one to be close to somebody, she pulled Riley's coat closer about her shoulders ... why did she always argue with everyone why did she always hurt people, she didn't mean to do it, it just happened and now Riley wasn't even looking at her.
She wasn't used to apologising, it wasn't something she liked doing, but something in her was chiding her for being nasty to Riley, he'd only been trying to help her.
'I ... I.' She stammered, looking anywhere but at him. 'I'm sorry Riley.' She paused, glancing up at his back nervously. 'I didn't mean to be nasty.' She looked away, down at the tips of her cat boots, clutching at the bag in her hands, her cheeks turning a faint shade of pink in embarrassment.
RILEY
'It doesn't matter why ... they still leave.'...Her words echoed in the back of his mind as he trailed behind the girls. After a few meters he quickened his pace so he could move in front of them, he was still in charge of protecting them until he left, and he couldn't be much help if they where attacked from the front and he was hidden away at the back. It was odd really, he really wanted to tell Cat people don't always leave, but...how could he? He was leaving the school as soon as he can get back and pack...he had no right to try and comfort her anyway.
'I ... I.'...Still lost in his own thoughts, and not bothering to really look back since he figured she was talking to Dawn, Riley was distracting himself by studying the back of his hands curiously. Implants, drugs...sometimes he had to wonder what he has gotten himself into..
'I'm sorry Riley.'...Looking up, staring ahead of him for a moment as he tried to think over whether that was in his mind or if she had spoken.
'I didn't mean to be nasty.'...His feet stopped walking all together at that, his body turning partially to look back at her, watching as she continued walking with her eyes glued down towards her boots.
Riley didn't want her to be apologizing to him, he didn't feel he deserved to be apologized to, but for some reason, it made him feel better that she was talking to him. He felt like telling her that she had good reasons to treat him like she had, he wasn't going to hold a grudge against her for not liking him.
He wasn't sure how to reply to her apology, he wasn't sure if he said something if it would make the situation better or worse. But instead he thought he'd tell her something that might make her feel better.
Riley:"I brought someone you might like to meet with us Cat, he says he's your cousin, Dave....he's thinking of taking classes at Xavier's."
Dawn had started down the stairs with Cat, but Riley hesitated for a moment, his hand reaching for the railing as he slowly descended. The steps of the stairs felt like they where shifting about under his feet. Half way down however it seemed to pass, so he quickened his pace to catch up with the girls who where making their way towards the entrance.
Dawn:"What happened with Angelus and Drusilla, and what's with Spike?"
The young spell caster had many questions drifting about her head, the one about Riley being able to enter Rogue's apartment would be a question she'd ask Jennifer later.
Riley:"I wasn't really involved with any of that, I had this trip to plan for, but I think our X-Men captured Spike while the others where escaping. Angelus came to the school this morning, apparently he and Spike aren't too friendly with each other."
Dawn:"That's strange, in our world Angel and Spike are like best friends...though they'd never admit it.."
It was odd to hear Dawn talking about the vampires like that.
Dawn:"Spike uh....he looked kinda...you know..."
Riley:"Apparently....he.."
The Agent paused for a moment, looking over towards Cat with a slightly guilty expression, he didn't want to make her feel bad or anything...or worse...he wasn't sure how she was feeling about shooting him, but she didn't look to good before.
Riley:"I only talked with him for a bit, but I think it's safe to say he's completely and utterly insane...but he can get better, and then....worse....depending on what's happening around him. I mean, he was ok for a bit with me, but then he got really upset when David called him pathetic....not that I can blame Spike for getting upset, I'm sure anyone would have.."
Dawn:"Like mood swings? Good one minute, crazy the next."
She thought out loud, Riley simply remained silent, not wanting to talk about it any more.
Dawn:"...Now I'm curious to know how...he doesn't have a soul right? Or does he? Because our Spike went insane for a while because of his soul...I think he got better now though."
Riley:"No soul...I think...he was tortured, but Dawn, please, let's drop this.."
Throwing Cat an apologetic look she then dropped her eyes to the ground and remained silent, Riley nervously scratched the back of his right hand as they walked.
Dawn:"He can't be killed by bullets, not unless they're wooden I guess...so he'll be ok Cat."
Riley hovered beside Catherine as Dawn decided to stop talking all together for the moment, his eyes remaining on the ground in front of him. Folding his arms in an attempt to stop himself from scratching the back of his right hand, which would get an odd sensation in it when ever he was going threw mild withdrawls. He spoke with a tone that hinted he was worried for her, that he wasn't mad with what she had done nor judging her for having shot him like that.
Riley:"Are you ok....I mean...if you wanted to talk about...anything...what happened with Spike...I can listen, I don't even have to reply if you don't want me to...I'll just listen. No one's going to blame you for what you did, we all understand, I'm sure even Spike....he'll understand why you did it.."
CATHERINE
Dave? David was here? why? She hardly knew him, she just remembered him being bigger that her, teasing her and pulling her hair. Still her heart couldn't help leaping, in her chest, she wanted to see a familiar face ... he was almost the only family she had.
Why were they torturing her by talking about Spike, she hung back slightly and let the two talk, but then she deserved this perhaps, at least she could live with the knowledge that thing really couldn't get worse ... how ever she was to soon find out that they could and were. The pair might have just turned around and pointed accusingly at her and started yelling murderer. Oh God, she hated herself
'Are you ok....I mean...if you wanted to talk about...anything...what happened with Spike...I can listen, I don't even have to reply if you don't want me to...I'll just listen. No one's going to blame you for what you did, we all understand, I'm sure even Spike....he'll understand why you did it...' She gave a kind of laugh that seemed to stick in her throat. She glanced up at him, she wasn't really comfortable with him walking next to her. Gah ... he was doing the whole I'm perfect and I'm going to speak to you and patronize you like your a five year old kid again.
'Understand? how the hell could anyone understand being shot at. I cant believe I did that.' She couldn't believe she was the kind of person who would do that ... shoot someone ... and when they were unarmed. She felt numb inside, there was a big empty pit where her stomach should have been, she wasn't really sure how she had got to being such an awful person. But she did know that no one had really put their foot down with her, they yelled but in the end they knew they couldn't do anything to her. She hadn't had any incentive to be good and her friends had encouraged her to rebell against everyone.
RILEY
Riley:"And I'm not going to tell you what you did was right, I'm not going to say that if it was me in your position I would have done the same thing. All I will say is - We understand *why* you did it."
He frowned as his voice became more stubborn and serious.
Riley:"Spike is a vampire Catherine, an Ancient Demon that has murdered and hurt for his entire existence. A few months ago something happened to him that forced him to change, that change probably worsened his insanity. He was under the control of two other older, possibly more powerful, demons who, last you saw, had ordered him to throw you into a portal."
He glared ahead as he continued, totally thrown off by Cat's attitude, this is why he was so scared of talking with her! He had no idea how on earth she was going to react to what he says and it was really grinding him up inside.
Riley:"I think it's safe to say that he expected some mild resentment from you Catherine, and so you know, he's extremely and emotionally unstable on the topic of 'having thrown you into the shadows' as he calls it."
Placing the fingers of his right hand gently against his temple for a moment as they walked, he really didn't want the buzzing sensation to get any worse. Damit, withdrawals, malfunctioning chip, and bad tempered Cat, could the day get any worse?...other then being taken from the institute.
Riley:"Maybe it's good he came along, maybe you needed to shoot something, you obviously like hurting people, at least he heals quickly."
With that, Riley seemed to storm ahead of her, Dawn's eyes wide in astonishment at his outburst, she had never -ever- heard him talk like that before.
Dawn:"Riley!"
Her hands reached out and gently took hold of his arm.
Riley:"What? She can hurt others but no one else can?"
Dawn:"You don't hurt people Riley, you help them, what's wrong with you? Why are you trembling?"
Dawn looked down at his arm, she could feel it shacking slightly in her grip, Riley pulled away from her quickly as he realized she could feel his shivers.
Riley:"Maybe it's because she has a knife inside of me and she keeps twisting it, and how you do you know I don't hurt people? You don't know anything about me, you think I carry a gun to show people how shiny it is? She has two guns on her right now, one in each pocket, we turn our backs on her, is she going to shoot us?"
Dawn:"Riley stop it! What's happening, what's going on, this isn't you talking.."
The more stressed Riley seemed to get the worse his shivering seemed to get, he folded his arms as he glared at Dawn.
Riley:"Isn't me? You only just found out I'm not a mutant, you only just discovered that I can be hurt by words just like everyone else. How do you know...ho-how do you know wh-who I-"
The dizzy spell he was hit with was enough to cause Dawn to reach out and grab hold of him before he toppled forward, she struggled under his weight, even as Riley attempted to stay on his feet.
Dawn:"Riley!? Caaaat!"
She called out in a panic as her knees where beginning to buckle under his weight.
Dawn:"Riley, this is worse then your headaches and nosebleeds! This is scaring me! Riley!"
Riley:"I miss my parents Dawn.."
His voice was a soft whisper as he covered his face with his shaky hand.
Dawn:"Riley you're trembling.."
Riley:"...I didn't mean to hurt her, I just wanted to help...I just wanted to help her.."
Dawn:"You have, Cat's safe now."
Riley:"She asked me to stay...like Lisa asked me to, so I stayed with her.."
Dawn:"..Wait...what?"
Riley:"And then....then she left...and I was alone..."
Slowly Riley sank to his knees, forcing the group to come to a stop, the scared expression on her face unable to be hidden.
Dawn:"Who..? We're not talking about Cat...right?"
Riley:"Claire, no, I'm not allowed to remember her name...Miss, I was alone, and it hurt, and I could see she was hurting when I saw her...I just wanted...I wanted to stop her from being alone....and I hurt her."
Dawn frowned in puzzlement as she looked about.
Dawn:"You hurt Claire?"
Riley:"..No...I hurt Catherine, Claire hurt me, and Dean hurt Lisa..."
Dawn:"Dean? Claire? Riley we have to get you back to the school's medical lab!"
The Agents shivering body had Dawn's arms wrapped around him protectively.
Riley:"So they can tell me I'm dying for no reason they can find?"
The look of horror that struck Dawn's face showed just how terrified she was of that statement.
Riley:"We have to get her back to the school, the last time this happened with her around, she was pulled into another dimension.."
Dawn:"Riley, you can barely stand."
He was silent for a moment, Dawn still looking pale from his statement just before, then he whispered softly under his breath, looking down at the ground shamefully.
Riley:"...I was very rude and out of line....I'm sorry."
CATHERINE
'And I'm not going to tell you what you did was right, I'm not going to say that if it was me in your position.' No perfect Riley would never do something like that ...because he wasn't from the wrong side of the tracks. She hated people like him and he was going a far way to earning special significance in her list of people she would gladly, "accidently" push under heavy moving objects.
'you obviously like hurting people' She looked away, so he couldn't see his hurtful words had brought tears to her eyes, she wouldn't let them fall, wouldn't let him know he had hurt her. Maybe she did and even if she did it was none of his concern, he was nothing to do with her, it was none of his business if hurting people sometimes made her feel better. At least she wasn't alone in her pain.
She watched as Dawn went after Riley, feeling the weight of both guns in the pockets.
'Maybe it's because she has a knife inside of me and she keeps twisting it.' Cat blinked hard, looking at her cat boots again. She never really deep down inside meant to hurt people she just seemed to speak with her heart and her emotions more than her head.
'You only just found out I'm not a mutant, you only just discovered that I can be hurt by words just like everyone else.' Not a mutant, so he'd lied to them as well, to her, she looked at him feeling the anger and resentment growing inside her again. Lying was one thing she coudln't stand, what ever her other faults might be she didn't lie,
The next second she heard Dawn cry out, her eyes flicking towards the pair of them, watching as Riley seemingly crumpled onto Dawn. She didn't hear their words about Claire, his voice was too faint and they were too far infront of her. She didn't hear his whispered apology, only the ground and Dawn heard that.
'So they can tell me I'm dying for no reason they can find?' A mixture of fear and worry crept into her eyes, what did he mean he was dying? what was wrong with him? why had he suddenly collapsed? She stepped forwards, watching as dawn hugged him ... where the two dating she wondered, they seemed close, even if they did seem to bicker alot.
She wasn't really the type to take command but Dawn seemed so distraught and Riley couldn't even stand, she knelt down next to him, on one knee. She streatched out a golden hand and slid her fingers under his chin, forcing him to look across in to her dark eyes. He needed to shave, she wanted to reprimand him for it but didn't have the heart, he seemed so confused. She saw for the first time the colour of his eyes, hazel, flecked with strands of gold, she'd never bothered to look before.
'I am not going to shoot you Riley, and yes I do like hurting people, because it makes me feel better if I'm not the only on one suffering.' Why was she telling him this? She looked away from his eyes, her fingers slipping from under his chin, feeling suddenly uncomfortable, she glanced across at Dawn.
'Here Dawn, help me get him back on his feet.' She knew there was fear in her dark eyes but she couldn't hide it.
RILEY
They struggled to get him back onto his feet, Riley's eyes continuing to stare down at the ground as he listened to shuffling of their feet.
Riley:"No...you don't like hurting others....not really...."
He looked at Dawn quietly for a moment, it only just occured to him that he never apologised to Spike for striking at him, and with Cat having just shot him...the guy wasn't having a very good time...
Riley:"...Can you tell Spike I'm sorry for punching him?"
Dawn stared at him for a moment, but he had looked down at the ground as he tried to regain his balance.
Riley:"You're not alone...you're not suffering alone...we're here for you...they are at least."
He looked at his jacket on Catherine, a look of worry running threw his eyes.
Riley:"Don't lose my family, I got in trouble last time they found out I was carrying it.."
With a frown he pulled his arm from Dawn, then slowly slipped his arm from Catherine's grasp as well, stumbling back slightly yet managing to stay on his feet.
Riley:"Why should I let you help me, when you won't let me help you, it's not fair, am I making you happy? Am I suffering enough to make you happy, can you lie enough to convince yourself that you're happy alone? Happy hurting others, do you honestly believe you're happy?"
Dawn stubbornly took hold off him again.
Riley:"I just wanted to help, look what you did to me, I just wanted to help you, why couldn't you just let me help.."
Dawn:"Riley, please, come on.."
Riley:"How can I care about her Dawn, she won't let me help her....it always hurts when you care about someone...and i'm sick, and she sees me, I didn't want anyone to see me. But she hates me so it doesn't matter, she says it makes her feel better...at least she feels better.."
CATHERINE
Catherine couldn't help being hurt by what he said, she was trying to be nice ... hadn't she been nice to Sean and Dawn and Clay, even thought they were mutant ... but he hadn't seen that. Maybe he was right, if someone like Riley thought she was a bad person what hope was there for her ... was that why she didn't get asked out by boys, could everyone see through her thin veneer. Why didn't he just hit her, it would hurt less. She wanted to run again, run until they couldn't find her until no one could find her. But what good would it do her, Riley would just get even angrier. She wished she never stepped inside the doors of the institute
'Don't lose my family, I got in trouble last time they found out I was carrying it..' What was he talking about, she glanced over at Dawn but the girl seemed at as much of a loss as Cat did.
'look what you did to me.' She took a step backwards, she'd never meant any of this, was it her fault ... it wouldn't have surprised her. She was always being blamed for things ... had she smashed one of Anne's best glasses ... no Anne had when she hurled it at Cat last night, but then it was always her fault it had been thrown in the first place.
'How can I care about her Dawn, she won't let me help her....it always hurts when you care about someone...and I'm sick, and she sees me, I didn't want anyone to see me. But she hates me so it doesn't matter, she says it makes her feel better...at least she feels better..'
'SHUT UP RILEY' She yelled, her hands balled into fists, fighting back the impulse to hit him, she took a deep breath, trying for the first time in ages to control her temper, she didn't want to hit him, not when he was ill. She continued on in a more normal voice. 'Just shut up before you say something you regret. Yes I hate you ... I hate everyone, everything ... fine happy now.' There were tears in her eyes again but she was past caring, she just wanted to go home.
She copied Dawn, gabbing hold of him rather more violently than she expected, her hands closing tightly around his arm. Why did he seem to have the knack to do this to her, to get her so angry.
RILEY
As her hands grabbed at him, he seemed to stumble slightly to the side from being startled by the anger in her grab, his eyes still lingering on her tears, his mind still seeing her in blood.
'I hate everyone, everything ... fine happy now.'...It was a moment before her words sank into him, but as soon as they did, he pulled his arm from Dawn's grasp once again. But this time, he didn't pull away from Cat, instead his body seemed to unsteadily swing in front of her. His free arm gently finding its way to the back of her shoulders, the arm in her grasp pulling from her as he placed his hand gently on the back of her head.
As he held her in his comforting embrace, it was easy for her to feel the shivers that run threw his body, the rapid beating of his heart, his breathing sounding as if he was out of breath. But right now the agent didn't care if she could see his weakness, he didn't care if he looked like a pathetic sight, all he cared about was that he said something that made her cry..
Riley:"I don't want the only words I say to you to always be 'I'm sorry'."
He remained silent for a moment, resting his cheek gently on the top of her soft hair as everything spun about lightly.
Riley:"....But I'm sorry, and I want to tell you that you'll never be alone again, but I don't have the right to say that to you, I want to tell you I can stop all the pain, but I can't. I want to tell you that you're strong, and brave, I want to say that you've just been threw something that most wouldn't have handled. I want to tell you...but I can't...because I know it'll all come out wrong.."
Although he was holding her close, he wasn't restraining her, his arm where weak and gentle. And although it was obvious he was showing some signs of affection towards her, he made no attempt nor even thought of doing anything inappropriate.
Riley:"I'm sorry because I wanted to help, and instead I always seem to mess it up and hurt you...I wanted to come here and help you, but they wouldn't let me and instead I had to-"
He went silent, as if he had said something that he hadn't planned on saying, he whispered, shamefully, quietly and apologetically, into her ear.
Riley:"I can't help you...I keep trying and I can't, I gave up getting my meds, I gave up my friends, I gave up my new room...I gave up my new life, it was a lie but it felt real...I gave up everything and I still can't help you.....I'm...I'm so sorry Catherine...I can't help you.."
Dawn had taken a few steps away from them, her eyes glued to the ground as she tried to ignore what was going on, she couldn't really hear anything they where saying, she was too busy attempting to pretend none of this was happening...
Dawn:"...Guys....we should hurry.."
He swayed slightly on his feet, but he got more strength in his legs as he attempted to follow Dawn's command for them to leave, but he couldn't, he wasn't strong enough to let go of Cat..
Riley:"You don't ever have to be alone again if you stay at the school, there's so many people, they're all so kind, they all really love each other. It's like back home in Huxley, everyone knows everyone else, you get hurt and they send you flowers, they wish you well...they be your family...let them be your family...let them help take away your pain...let them help you...because I can't.."
CATHERINE What was he doing? was her first panicked thought as his arms slid about her shoulders, was he going to hurt her? Her own heart was pounding in her ears, her body stiff and unresponsive in his arms. Her head rested gently on his front, feeling him shivering ... what was wrong with him?
Why did he want to hold her? she didn't let strangers touch her, she didn't like it, but then why didn't she want to step away ... it was nice for a minute, just for a minute to think that she didn't have to fight anyone she could stand here and pretend she was the kind of girl men liked to hold.
She could feel his cheek resting lightly upon her hair, why hadn't she pulled away? slapped him for taking a liberty with her body ... but she just stood there like there was ice flowing through her veins, making no effort to hug him back but also none to move away.
'....But I'm sorry, and I want to tell you that you'll never be alone again, but I don't have the right to say that to you, I want to tell you I can stop all the pain, but I can't. I want to tell you that you're strong, and brave, I want to say that you've just been threw something that most wouldn't have handled.' She didn't feel strong and brave, she felt awful ... she'd shot someone, how could she. Her tears gently slipping down her face onto his jumper, she couldn't move now she was crying ... no one saw her cry ... no one.
'I can't help you...I keep trying and I can't, I gave up getting my meds, I gave up my friends, I gave up my new room...I gave up my new life, it was a lie but it felt real...I gave up everything and I still can't help you.....I'm...I'm so sorry Catherine...I can't help you..' Of course he couldn't help her ... no one could, she thought miserably, once you got to the stage where you shot someone you were usually past the "able to be helped" stage. Was it her fault he was leaving, had she succeeded in destroying not only her life but his as well ... she wasn't sure anymore, and was she was crying because he had been spiteful or because of shooting spike or for ruining his life. Was that why he was trembling like that ... because he hadn't had his medication ... she wasn't sure he should be on it if this was the result if he missed a dose.
'...Guys....we should hurry..' She jumped slightly, she'd forgotten the other girl was there, with a huge effort she stopped crying, rasing one hand to wipe away the tears on her cheeks.
She listened to his last sentence shaking her head against his chest ... family left too, no one stayed ... no one, infact they were the first ones to go, or in the case of her Aunt let her go, it was just her ... she was always alone even if she was surrounded by people. She didn't reply to any of what he said, but instead she spoke to Dawn.
'Take his other arm Dawn.' She said in a rather broken voice, pulling herself free from him, taking a more gentle hold of his arm, not looking at him, embarrassed at what she had just let him do.
RILEY
The young man had gone silent, their footsteps echoing around the empty streets, why was this happening to him? Why was he acting all...funny..
Everything felt like it was rushing inside him, around him, this was so embarrassing, how could he lose himself like this, and in front of these two who have been lost in this hell for a day..
Riley:"They care about me.."
He said out loud to himself as he thought, his eyes simply staring down at the ground, he talked about the Initiative, though they wouldn't know that. He had to try so hard to convince himself this was true, because look at him, he's on drugs, he's got implants inside his body, he's trembling, look what these people have done to him!
Riley:"...They have to care....they're all I know.."
He looked over at Dawn as she tried to secretly wipe away a tear that had escaped unwilling, Riley frowned as he watched her. He was making everyone cry today...he really didn't like seeing them cry.
Riley:"They're my family, right Dawn?"
Unsure of what to say, Dawn simply held onto him tighter and agreed with what he was saying, but she had changed the topic from the initiative to his real family without realising it.
Dawn:"Of course your family cares about you, and they'll always care about you, just because they died doesn't mean they stopped loving you."
Riley:"Died.."
He repeated her, he killed them, he had to kill them, he killed them from his life, the only reason they're dead was because that's what he told people. He murdered them, in cold blood he murdered their essence, he killed off his connection with them!
Riley:"It's my fault they died...if I could have just...if I was only strong enough to have stayed...I should have stayed on the farm, I should have stayed with them...they need me, and I think I want to go back to them..."
Dawn didn't reply to his statement, she couldn't, what could she say 'Well you can't go back because they're dead!', she wasn't going to say that in his state..
Riley seemed to stop talking as well, even more depressed over the fact of his parents then he was about having these two helping him walk..
Cat glanced across at Dawn ... what was he talking about? but she sensed the other girl had just as little idea as she did.
'Of course your family cares about you, and they'll always care about you, just because they died doesn't mean they stopped loving you.' She started out of her thoughts, Riley's family was dead too ... but how ... how did he cope without them. Did her parents still love her even though they weren't there? Did they still love her even after what she did to them?
'It's my fault they died...if I could have just...if I was only strong enough to have stayed...I should have stayed on the farm, I should have stayed with them...they need me, and I think I want to go back to them...' She wondered what had happened to him ... to them, the rest of the anger in her touch seemed to fade away and her hands were surprisingly gentle as she supported him. Slipping her hand into his larger one, partially to support him better but also to show him that she kind of understood what he was going through. She knew there was nothing she could say to make him feel better, she'd heard it all before herself and none of it ever made her feel better. She looked at the ground as she walked, the sooner they got back to their own world the better, she began to fret over Rogue again, hoping the girl was alright ... did she still have to give blood even when they got home she half wondered, trying to focus on getting Riley to walk in a straight line.
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