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Toonopolis Fighting World > Toon Television > Drunken Fish and More Referencing. |
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Nephrid Ison
Member Posts: 77 (9/28/03 8:55 pm) |
Drunken Fish and More Referencing. "Prices so low...they drive me off the WALL!" That was Crazy Luther's catch phrase. With his overly large hat and garish suede uniform, he was very convincing. Maybe that was why Crazy Luther's Discount Emporium remained in the top tier of Toonopolis' Wholesale stores. "For all your Discount Emporing needs, come on down to Crazy Luther's Discount Emporium!" He shouted at the people at home who sat in front of the television, entranced by his elaborate advertisements. Crazy Luther had it all. A plush estate in the Toonopolis hills, fame and fortune beyond what many could ever dream of, a supermodel wife, and drawers full of bright blue underwear. Then the nasty plague by the name of Journalism ruined his life. The papers reported that he had participated in, what was later referred to as, 'The Drunken Fish Incident'. Quickly thereafter, Luther went into seclusion. None knew where, and nobody asked. None of the events of Luther's horrific past crossed C-R4P's mind as he waltzed through the Emporium's automatic doors. He as walked through the canned food aisle, the sound of easy-listening muzak hit his aural sensors. Fourpee turned around a corner to see the backside of a familiar Tevkorian, who was stacking creamed corn. A kindly old lady walked by and tapped Skeezix on the shoulder. "Excuse me, sonny, but where might I perchance find some cranberry sauce?" Skeezix swatted her away, "Beat it granny, I have important stacking business to do!" "But-" Skeezix picked up a broom, which, untill now, had rested comfortably against a shelf, "I said scat, you old bag!" He thwacked her upside the head a few times before she got the message and left. "Y'know, wailing on people isn't a good sale tactic," Fourpee waddled up to the apron-clad Skeezix. "She had it coming to her," Skeezix looked down, "So, I hear you guys got that new Improv Championship. Nice going." "Yeah, yeah," C-R4P waved away the subject, "But that's not why I'm here." "Whazzit?" "Nephrid's up against this wrestler from Texas..." "You mean a Rassler." Repetitive remarks annoyed Fourpee slightly, "Yeah. Whatever. And in one of his segments...Nephrid came out and attacked him." "Hmph. Reminds me of that clone business that happened like a year ago...I remember it like it was yesterd-" "We're not talking about you and your inane clone crap! I'm pretty sure that this guy is Nephrid's Evil Twin. I wanna know if you've heard anything." "Evil twin, eh?" Skeezix rubbed his chin, "I really dunno anything. But my boss might. He's been around." "Where is he?" Skeezix pointed to the far left, "In the meat section. Knock on the frozen pork chops and say 'kitty' three times." "What the-" Before Fourpee could finish his exclaimation of confusion, Skeezix's belt emitted a buzzing sound. "Crap," Skeezix looked at his beeper, "There's been an orange avalanche in the fresh fruit aisle. Gotta go!" He hopped away fervently. Slowly, Fourpee made his way into the meat section, and did as Skeezix told him. "Kitty, Kitty, Kitty," Fourpee said as he pounded the frozen pork chops. "You may enter," said an invisible deep voice. The pork chop shelf swung open and Fourpee jumped into the gaping hole. *** His metallic ass hurt as he hit the cold ground. C-R4P's thermal gauge indicated that it was well below freezing in this room. The icy walls supported that statement. In the center, a lanky man in ripped clothing sat in a large leather chair. He wore what looked like the brim of a large hat around his head. The rest of the hat was probably churning in his stomach, satisfying his hunger. "Welcome," He said in a voice that was the complete opposite of the previous deep one. "Who're you?" "I...as you may have guessed...am Crazy Luther." "Oh!" Fourpee realized, "You're the drunken fish guy!" Luther held up a hand, "Let us not speak of that now. Why have you come to me?" "Uh...I wanted to know if you've seen Nephrid Ison's evil twin." "Why, yes. Yes, I have." "Really?!?" Fourpee was surprised, "WHERE?" "On the television." Luther made an incomprehensible gesture, and a wall opened up, revealing a large screen. Suddenly, ZZYZX's latest segment popped up. "But what was the giant banana about?" "Oh, you know, it was C-R4P's vibrator." "WHAT?" Fourpee yelled, his voice bouncing off the icy walls. "I don't own a vibrator!" He hit his crotch with his metal fist, producing a hollow sound, "I don't even HAVE anything. Plus, I'm not compatible with the Giant Banana model! I need the Giant Peapod model." The segment continued. Fourpee watching in awe as Evil Nephrid along with Superhero, or probably Evil Superhero, dragged the two wrestlers and trapped them in a trailer. When FM Punk came up with the address of the Evil ones, Fourpee immediately committed it to memory. The segment fizzled out slowly. "Thanks, Luther, you're a life saver!" "Now," Luther said, "You'll have to give me your SOUL." "I...uh...don't have a soul. I'm a robot." C-R4P answered plainly. "Oh...well, then. I guess you're free to go." A door opened up on the far side of the room and Fourpee calmly walked out. *** "I've got 'em!" The robot said triumphantly to himself. Edited by: Nephrid Ison at: 9/28/03 9:09 pm |
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