Sarabie317
Naughty Board Wench
Posts: 1359
(2/12/03 1:00 pm)
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FIC - The Killer Came Out of Me (W/K)
Disclaimer: The characters from which this work is derived are the intellectual property of ME, Fox, WB, UPN, some combination thereof and hell, for all I know, possibly additional parties.
Rating: PG-13 for minor sensuality and complicated adult relationship issues.
Feedback: Pretty please. Post it here.
Author's Notes: Yeah, I know - I'm so clever with the titles, aren't I?
This is a follow-on to ME production 7x13 - The Killer in Me. It picks up where the episode left off. It fills in some of the missing pieces of Kennedy's background (my version of it, not necessary ME's), touches on Tara memories (in a liberating, angst-free way), and brings forth some more of my favorite dramatic element - UST (note to the uninitiated: that's unresolved sexual tension).
So without further ado, here's the story...
The Killer Came Out of Me"You know, that sounds really good, but I think I'd like to take a nice, hot bubbly-bath first," Willow replied to Kennedy's offer of tea. "I mean, with all the other potentials gone, I see a chance and I'm going to take it."
"Another thing we have in common," replied Kennedy.
"Huh? Oh, you like bubbly-baths, too?"
"Not so much the bath part. The other part," Kennedy smiled at an apparently confused Willow. "The part about the others being gone and taking a chance when you see it."
"Oh, that," Willow grinned sheepishly. "I'm not quite here. You know?"
"I know," said Kennedy, her concern clearly showing. Kennedy squeezed Willow's hand as they entered the kitchen. Willow turned and faced Kennedy, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her close in a tender embrace.
"Thank you," whispered Willow. "For understanding. For helping me get through the hardest thing I've ever done. For being so supportive. For swallowing the horrible things I did to you." Willow's head rested on Kennedy's shoulder as she recited the list.
"Oh, you mean like calling me a slut while waving a gun in my face?"
"Well, yeah, for example."
"Go on."
"You expect more?"
"Not really," Kennedy murmured. "I just like holding you."
"Yeah, it does feel pretty good," replied a completely resigned and very vulnerable Willow. "But - bathtime!" she pronounced and pulled away, heading toward the staircase.
Kennedy struggled to squelch her inclination to offer to help with the bath. "Don't need to be so aggressive in my pursuit of that lovely creature any more. Her futile resistance has been overcome," Kennedy thought with great self-satisfaction. "I'll be up in a bit with the tea," she yelled after Willow.
Arriving in the bathroom, Willow started filling the tub with water as hot as her skin could bear. She poured thick apricot liquid into it and watched the bubbles rise. She peeled off her clothing and stuffed it all into the overflowing laundry hamper. She entered the tub, and started to vigorously scrub the Warren off of her.
In the kitchen, Kennedy filled the teapot with bottled water and set it on the stove. It felt odd, almost eerie, to be there alone. The kitchen, indeed the entire house, had been brimming with young women for as long as Kennedy had been there. She mentally replayed the events of the last 24 hours, wondering if Willow was really okay, wondering whether she was wise to get involved with someone who may not be able to love her. Wondering if she was going to be a dumping ground for Willow's emotional wreckage. Wondering if she was going to be Willow's rebound girl. The teapot whistled, and Kennedy poured the boiling water into a cup and dunked a teabag in it. It steeped as she pondered what she really wanted with Willow - a short, hot fling? A full-featured emotional and spiritual bond that could be lifelong? Or maybe something in-between? She removed the teabag and sipped from the cup, letting the hot liquid soothe and relax her.
Willow sunk so deeply into the cleansing warmth of the bath that the tip of her nose was buried in bubbles that rippled away when she exhaled. She realized she had been absent-mindedly stroking her inner thighs, a reaction to the affection she had just shared with Kennedy. For the first time since she'd lost Tara - for that matter, since she'd met Tara - she found herself wanting touch from another woman. And it felt really wonderful.
"Brave and true. Sure and strong. Straightforward and direct." Willow started talking to herself, softly intoning some adjectives that applied to her new-found object of interest. "Loyal and persistent. Open and honest. Smart and sassy. The Potential with potential. Did I say brave? All good qualities. Excellent qualities. She brings a lot to the table."
Willow wasn't sure whether Kennedy should be described as beautiful or handsome; she only knew that looking at her - really looking at her - was exhilarating. Just thinking about her exquisite features and buff body punched Willow out of her relaxed soliloquy and into heart-pounding anticipation.
By the time Kennedy swallowed the last drops of her cuppa, she had examined every angle of her possibilities with Willow, and was grasping for a solution. A strategy. Being without a master plan was unfamiliar territory. Taking physical risks was a way of life for someone who had accepted her responsibilities as a Potential Slayer so long ago. But this whole thing with Willow? Emotional risk, big-time. Her goal of winning Willow's affections, well that was well on its way to consummation. What next?
She realized she didn't have a plan because she couldn't make a plan. Willow's plan to spend her life with Tara was shattered with the window pane that took the bullet that killed Tara. Buffy had said that some of us would die in the upcoming battle, and to decide now that it won't be you. Plans fall through. Life and love go awry. Kennedy frowned, not wanting to be responsible for putting Willow through any more such painful loss. Not wanting to experience such loss herself.
Willow pulled the plug and watched it all drain away - the Warren, the guilt, the fear, the pain. And the water. She sat in the tub while it drained, wanting to watch every bit of it leave her forevermore. She tucked her memories of Tara and all they had shared into a special place, a shrine she'd constructed for that very purpose. A treasure that would be hers forever, that noone could ever take from her, and noone could ever disturb. For the first time, she felt simple gratitude for the time she'd had with Tara, the things she'd learned from Tara, the strength she'd drawn from Tara. The ways in which she'd grown and become a better person from knowing Tara would be with her always. She felt an overwhelming sense of peace and calm, as if Tara was present, loving her, encouraging her to move forward, beseeching her to be happy. That's when she knew everything really would be okay.
She climbed out of the tub and toweled herself dry. She was again surprised to find herself paying extra attention to those places where she liked to be touched, places she now wanted Kennedy to touch. She put on her soft shiny satin robe, the wraparound one, the dusty emerald one that matched her eyes and set off her red locks. She brushed her teeth, ran a comb through her wet hair and left the bathroom.
Kennedy heard the water draining from the tub upstairs, and poured hot water into a clean mug. As she drowned a teabag in it, she finalized the decision that Buffy had asked her to make. She resolved that if anyone died in the battle to come, it wouldn't be her - and it wouldn't be Willow. And that instead of pushing her own agenda, she would let the emotionally fragile Willow take the reigns in deciding what was to come next in their budding romance. She picked up the freshly made tea and went upstairs.
The two women entered the second-floor hallway at exactly the same time.
Willow was slightly embarrassed when she caught Kennedy visually fondling her. Kennedy let out a gasp, but was otherwise speechless. Willow broke the tension. "Hey. Got something for me?"
"You know I do."
Realizing that they were not on the same page, Willow clarified. "The tea?"
"Oh, yeah, the tea," Kennedy replied emphatically. "So, I'm gonna take a quick shower while you have the tea, okay? And then..." Kennedy's voice trailed off, not sure what was to come. She all but threw the cup of tea at Willow, trying to escape before she was asked to finish that statement.
Willow decided to let her get by with it - this time, anyway. She accepted the hot mug and watched Kennedy duck into the bathroom.
Kennedy shed her threads and showered. Very quickly, in a blurry haze of eagerness and anxiety. She barely felt the water or the briskly-scented hair and body wash she slathered everywhere. Per her usual pattern, she brushed her teeth in the shower. She decided to leave her hair wet as Willow did; besides, it would take too long to dry. She rinsed, shut off the water, and toweled herself. After a quick comb-through, she pulled her wet hair back into a loose pony tail at the base of her neck and fastened it there. That's when she realized she had nothing to wear.
Willow carried the hot tea into her bedroom, sipping it on the way. She drew the curtains closed to shut out most of the daylight. She thought about lighting some scented candles, some that had an aphrodisiac effect. She chuckled when she decided neither one of them needed that just now. She pulled down the covers - on both sides of the bed - and stacked pillows against the headboard. She got into the bed, sitting up, sipping the tea, waiting.
Relieved to find that the Summers' bathroom was furnished with some extra-large bath sheets, Kennedy wrapped herself in a pale yellow one and walked to Willow's room. Upon entering, she was greeted with an appreciative smile.
Suddenly inexplicably withdrawn, Kennedy started blurting, "I didn't know what else to do. I forgot to take clean clothes to the bathroom with me. I'll get some now." She started digging through the luggage that still held most of the wardrobe she'd brought to Sunnydale.
"If that's what you want to do." Willow was taken aback. This is not what she expected. After all the flirting and come-ons and pick-up lines, not to mention the sensuous, passionate kisses Kennedy had delivered, Willow was not expecting Kennedy to be back-pedaling at this point. Maybe she'd lost interest. Maybe she was just tired. Maybe she'd changed her mind after the whole thing with Warren and the gun and the talk about Tara. Maybe Willow just plain presumed too much about Kennedy's intentions.
Kennedy continued to look through her clothes, selecting and then rejecting outfit after outfit. She really didn't know what to do. She didn't especially want to get dressed. She mentally chastised herself for letting her nervousness and anxiety drive her to this predicament. She hoped against hope that Willow would say or do something to reroute her.
"You want to rest? Maybe nap a little? After the all-nighter we had, I'd think you'd be tired."
"You're right, Willow. After seeing Buffy go for days without getting any, I guess I just - " Willow was unable to repress a grin, and Kennedy clarified, flustered. "Sleep. Buffy goes for days without getting any sleep."
Willow nodded in agreement, still smirking. Kennedy stayed with her luggage, and an awkward silence filled the room. Moments that seemed like eons passed, neither woman speaking or moving. Finally, Willow broke the silence. "It feels awkward now, doesn't it?"
Kennedy turned to face her. "I guess maybe it does."
"Here we are, just starting to get know each other, but we already share a bedroom. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm over the whole non-sharing-of-the-bed-with-you thing." She extended an invitation by patting the bed next to her. Kennedy climbed aboard, keeping empty space between them. Willow sipped tea.
Kennedy pulled the covers over herself and arranged her pillow. She settled in comfortably and closed her eyes, signaling her intention to sleep now. This was very scary. Unlike anything Kennedy had ever experienced before. It was the real deal. Now that she was so close to realizing a dream, she was mired in uncertainty, and in danger of letting it all slip away.
Willow slowly, patiently sipped her tea, waiting to see what Kennedy might do. Willow knew, better than anyone else, that life is too short to waste any chances at happiness, even the momentary kind. Losing Tara, losing Buffy, Joyce, Jenny - and seeing her friends lose loved ones and relationships - those things had left their mark on Willow. Not to mention the series of apocalypses - apocalypsi? - she had survived.
Kennedy was struggling to cope with something she'd never felt before; genuine, gut-wrenching fear. She'd always been cocky, self-assured, confident, and bold. Now every fiber of her being was constricted by anxiety. Try as she might, she couldn't make any sense of it. She didn't know what to do about it. She didn't know what to do with herself. She didn't know what to do with Willow. Then she remembered something Willow had told her at The Bronze. Something Willow preferred to fighting evil.
Kennedy jerked her head off the pillow. "Want a foot massage?" The question rushed out of her.
Willow smiled at the offer. "Yeah." A breakthrough of sorts. This would bring them into contact and release some of the tension hanging over them like a thick fog.
Kennedy took a sitting position at the foot of the bed and took Willow's feet onto her lap. She started stroking the soles so lightly that Willow jerked away momentarily. Laughter, the great release, escaped both of them. "Ticklish much?"
"Ticklish plenty," came the reply. "Watch yourself. Do that again, you might get kicked."
"Eww, big bad rough tough Willow is threatening me. How am I going to defend myself?" Kennedy teased.
"Still not getting it? After all that?" Willow was amazed, and not in a good way.
"Oh, I get the power thing," Kennedy said, getting her somber on. "I saw it. What it can do. And I get that you killed some creep. Who had it coming. Just wanted to tease you a little - that's all." Kennedy knew she'd blown it again, pushed Willow's buttons the wrong way. She turned her attention toward doing her best to rub Willow's feet in the right way.
Willow capitalized on the verbal setup. "Just wanted to tease me? Like you haven't already done plenty of that!"
There it was. All hands on deck. All cards on the table. The atmosphere turned stifling.
"I - ," Kennedy tried, but didn't know where to begin. A completely foreign position. She'd always had all the answers, always moved boldly forward. Always knew what she wanted and went after it.
Willow leaned forward and clasped Kennedy's hand. "I don't want anything if you don't. I just want to understand. Keep the air clear." Feeling more comfortable, Kennedy looked at Willow and composed herself to speak.
Looking toward the floor, Kennedy took a deep breath and stated simply, "I guess I act like I'm all worldly, but I'm not. So. Experienced..."
"You're a virgin?!" Willow exclaimed, and then immediately wished she'd been a little less emphatic about it.
At that, Kennedy whipped her head around to face Willow. "Oh, no, no, tons of no to that. I've had sex. This is different."
"Different how?" Willow used her very softest, most compassionate, comforting, empathetic voice in carefully posing the question to draw her out. She sat all the way up, right next to Kennedy, taking Kennedy's hand in both of hers and stroking it.
"It's just... Jeez, Willow, my life has been pretty bizarre compared to most people's. Hell, most people think it would just be fan-fricking-tastic to be so filthy rich, but it's not all purebred puppies and gourmet everything and houses with wings and a designer lifestyle. See, my family is a long line of import-export, international traders. Started with Cuban cigars - back when they were legal. Then bananas and coffee and cacao and native arts and crafts and eventually expanded beyond South and Central American produce and went worldwide. So did my family. We moved a lot. Had homes in a lot of different places. So I speak several different languages."
"Oh. Wow. That's...cool." Willow was pleased that Kennedy was opening up so much, after being somewhat evasive about her background in previous conversations. Then Willow realized she didn't know how Kennedy really felt about it, so she asked, "Is that cool?"
Kennedy wanted Willow to know her, to know all of her, and continued. "Maybe. Parts of it. Moving all the time - not so much. We had our own teachers that moved around with us, otherwise we'd have been forever trying to adjust to new schools. Since we had that kind of individualized instruction, I have a lot of like college-type education, too, even though I've never been to an actual college class in my life. And my watcher came with us. I've had training in martial arts and ancient weapons from different experts all over the world. My parents were into this whole slayer thing. They're sort of do-gooders. They have heaping piles of money money money, and they try to do good things with it. Plus, there's this whole noble warrior, proud heritage thing..." Kennedy realized her last statements might have been off-putting, and quickly added, "I'm just saying."
"Proud heritage thing?" Willow listened intently to all she was learning about the amazing young woman sitting next to her.
"Well...yeah. I'm sure this sounds pretty corny to you, but - I guess I'm a direct descendant of Montezuma. Plus -"
"Montezuma? Leader-of-the-Aztecs-when-Spanish-conquistador-Cortes-paid-a-visit- in-1519-Montezuma?"
Kennedy grinned broadly at the Willowism. "Add that to the list of things I like about you. You're like a library on legs. Very nice legs," she teased as she rested her hand on Willow's knee and visually admired her legs.
"Well, thank you, ma'am," Willow smiled warmly at the lovely young woman who was adoring her so. "Was there a plus with that?"
"Well, that was the biggie. I guess my Dad's family also has some Mayan ancestry, and my Mom's side is pretty proud of their Inca heritage."
"Okay...Let's see now - filthy rich, citizen of the world, well educated, pedigreed nobility bloodlines, overachiever, flawless skin, body honed like an Olympic athlete, smile that needs to be on a magazine cover..." Willow's old enemy called insecurity was starting to reveal itself. "You are *so* outta my league."
"See! That's it! That's why I don't talk about my background. That's my big fat problem. Sometimes girls think that way. And sometimes girls want me just because of all that, at least I think so. Plus there's the whole moving all the time thing. I've never lived anywhere long enough to get to know anybody really well, Willow. So I move fast. If I see someone I want, I don't waste any time because I don't have any to waste. And sometimes I have sex. I'm never anyplace long enough to have a real relationship."
"Ooooooohhh. I think I get it."
"You've been in love and lived with someone. Maybe even planned a future. I've barely ever even woken up and faced a new day with anyone else."
"And so. This is weird for you because you know I'm still gonna be here tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that..."
"Yeah, I guess so. Plus this is really intense!" Kennedy exclaimed, and then her voice softened. "I've been with a super-hot woman or two. I've been with a super-interesting woman or two. And I've chased plenty of both. But there's this thing about you. Some quality that's flaming hot *and* super-fascinating *and* super-intense and just...super-powerful. You're not just Willow, you're like super-Willow. And I don't just mean the witchcraft kind of powerful."
"That's sweet of you to say those things. You're a helluva woman too, Kennedy. You already know that. I'm glad you told me about your background and stuff. It's weird... you and I are coming at this from totally different places. Like almost opposite. I'd never even considered doing the horizontal naked with someone I didn't love, and you've never been in love."
That last statement fell hard on Kennedy's previously buoyant hope. "Yeah," Kennedy studied the floor, feeling defeated, gathering her thoughts and trying to form them into words. "I don't know how...why...you could ever really love me. Not after Tara."
"Didn't say that." Kennedy turned to look at Willow. "I didn't say I could never love you. But it doesn't happen in one date. Love takes time. I guess that's something you've never had. Time, I mean."
Kennedy absorbed the revelation and worked to integrate it into her understanding of life and love and Willow. "So, what's next?"
"I'd vote for naptime," replied an exhausted Willow. "As for the rest - let's just take it one step at a time, okay?" Kennedy accepted Willow's suggestion with a nod. "I was kinda hoping you might give good snuggle. I could use some Kennedy cuddles right about now."
"Third-degree black belt in snuggling. I'll get right on it," teased Kennedy.
"Uh-huh," murmured Willow, smiling and nodding at Kennedy's declaration of expertise. Willow took Kennedy's face in her hands and moved in for a light but lingering kiss. She adjusted the pillows and laid on the bed, settling in to a comfortable position for a nap. Kennedy laid down next to her and snuggled for all she was worth.
THE END
Edited by: Sarabie317 at: 2/12/03 2:34:49 pm
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