Player's Name: Eric A. Carter
E-Mail: eccles_1975@hotmail.com
NAME: Imogen delCordia
NICKNAME: Gen
CODE NAME: Volatile
AFFILIATION: None, but often works freelance for government agencies catching criminals, so she's on the good side...
GENDER: Female
AGE: 28
DOB: 14-05-1996
HAIR: Mouse Brown
EYES: Hazel, physically blind from birth
FATHER: Constantine delCordia (made up), human, Italian, living
MOTHER: Chantelle delCordia (made up) (previously unknown), human, Texan, living
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION/TRAITS:
Were it not for the fact that Imogen is physically blind - and therefore requires a tactile-response walking stick to get around - she would appear to be a relatively nondescript, 5'5" woman of slim build, with a resonably athletic musculature and more-than-plain facial features (think Jodie Foster in "Contact"). Unlike many blind people, she chooses not to wear dark glasses, preferring to establish near-perfect eye contact with anyone she converses with, as - with many of the blind - her hearing is exceptional. Vocally, Imogen has a quiet, husky Southern American accent with an Italian lilt; this is a product of both her parentage and her upbringing in southern Texas.
When seen within an environment she has learned to know well - such as her own home - Imogen can function with near-perfect precision and normalcy, requiring neither her stick nor external guidance to perform mundane, everyday tasks; this can give the unknowing the mistaken impression that she can see as well as the rest of us. Her dress sense is remarkably high casual; whilst she cannot physically see the clothing she buys for herself, she can nonetheless tell by tactile sensation coupled with relentless trial-and-error whether or not the style and fit of a garment is right for her, relying on shopkeepers only for choice of color. The furnishings in her home were chosen in much the same way; knowing the layout of her home to the square inch, she has chosen primarily stained, wooden furniture and arranged it to produce a homely, yet easy-to-navigate abode.
POWERS:
Imogen was born totally blind in both eyes; not as a result of genetic mishap or birth defect as with most blind people, but more as a product of Darwinistic genetic mutation. It was discovered as Imogen grew up that her inner and middle ears - and the part of the brain that processed them - were mutated such that she could hear slightly above and below the range and velocity (ie: volume) of ordinary humans. As is the case with Darwinistic evolution, nature never gets it right first time, so Imogen could never fully rely on her hightened hearing to take over from her eyes (as was the case with DareDevil). However, nature provided an extra boost to Imogen's potential for survival, possibly the most important mutation available to her: her mind.
Man discovered in the 20th century that only 10-15% of the human cerebral cortex is actually used; the rest appears to lie dormant - or more truthfully, stagnant. It had long been postulated that this 'wasted' space was actually there as a backup, allowing the brain to re-route brain functions to unused areas should key areas be damaged, and this was later proven to in fact occur in extreme cases. But there were some few people who thought the unused areas were primarily available for the evetuality of Darwinistic evolution of the brain's capabilities, and they were laughed at - until mutants started cropping up everywhere, that is...
So, as with many mutants, Imogen's brain mutated; in her case, some 50% of her cerebral cortex was dedicated to memory-based functioning, enabling her to learn, process and recall information in a way previously believed totally impossible. In addition, her tactile response was hightened, allowing her to easily distinguish items by touch alone. As a consequence however, her occipital lobe (the part of the brain which processes sight) was so far reduced in size as to be almost absent, allowing her only to govern the muscles controlling eyeball movement.
As a result of her mutations, Imogen is highly intelligent and has the capacity to hold and access the knowledge contained within several hundred super-computers (as even how computers are unable to even come close to the potential capacity of the human brain). Unfortunately, due to the limited capability of present-day human blood to carry oxygen to the brain, Imogen's long-term memory span in the mutated areas is rather limited; whilst her brain is capable of storing mass quantities of information and processing it at speeds hitherto unknown in human history, the information quickly becomes stagnant if not accessed within a short amount of time. This was in her childhood termed as 'high-capacity volatile memory' by one particular doctor who recognised the similarities to electronic random-access-memory circuitry, which quickly lost its memory once power was disengaged.
Given this limited memory retention, Imogen was able to excel more than any other highly intelligent human in only one regard: her ability to solve problems and puzzles. She is almost unbeatable at chess, draughts, backgammon and the like; she has been banned from virtually every casino in America and many in various other countries, due to her ability to memorise the entire state of play and extrapolate the outcome of the game. She has worked many times for various government agencies around the world as both technical consultant and criminal profiler, and is sought after by criminal organisations worldwide, either as prey (due to government affiliations) or as an ally (for obvious reasons).
HISTORY:
Born in 1993 in Allentown, southern Texas to Italian father Constantine delCordia and Texan mother Chantelle Delaney, Imogen led a happy if not unusual life. Her father a blue-collar oil worker, her mother a homemaker and part-time cleaner for a franchise cleaning company, her parents were careful to ensure that her early years as a blind toddler were as safe and uneventful as possible, with regular checkups with the local doctor and consistant support from the American Deaf-Blind Association. Imogen's life was not really anything out of the ordinary until she became of pre-school age at 3, at which point the full effects of her peculiar mutations began to make themselves known.
The very first inkling that Imogen was somewhat out of the ordinary came on the very first day of preschool, when the chidren were allowed free play time. Imogen was listening to some of her new freinds fight over which piece of a simple jigsaw puzzle went where, and none of them were getting very far. Imogen piped up and asked if she could join in, and after some 30 seconds the 20-piece puzzle was complete. Having been of course observed by one of the preschool staff, she was provided with another puzzle, this one containing 50 pieces. Two minutes later, the staff member was on the phone to Imogen's parents, asking for documented confirmation of Imogen's age and the state of her blindness; she had never even seen an adult complete that particular puzzle in under five minutes on the first try...
As a child and adolescent, Imogen excelled in school, being top of her class in virtually every academic subject despite her blindness (with Braille-enabled and/or audio-based course content being well-provided) and graduating from high-school as valedictorian at the age of 13. Entering the University of Berkeley, Massechussetts as the youngest student ever, she graduated at 18 with doctorates in Psychology, Philosophy and Mathematics. Even before this second top-honours graduation, she had worked with the C.I.A., N.S.A. and Interpol as a technical consultant (advising on possible incursion routes, enemy targets and the like) and criminal profiler (specialising in extrapolating the possible targets of known thieves), which she still does to this day.
Most of her time is currently spent working as a mathematics teacher at the high school close to her Allentown home. As a result of her blindness and her apparent normality in the everyday world, it is known only to her parents, doctors and closest friends that she is in fact a 'mutant'; most people simply regard her as a highly gifted woman who has overcome her disability with applomb.
PERSONALITY:
Imogen is a quiet, reserved woman, slow to anger due to her innate ability to quickly assess a situation from all sides and act accordingly. 'Content' rather than 'happy' is the best way to describe her general mood; she recognises her place in the world and accepts that she is the way she is as part of her purpose in life, to provide guidance and counsel to others in need. She is easily accepting of others faults and often attempts to remark on the positives of others, rather than their negatives. Internally she can have rather holier-than-thou thoughts, knowing with a certain smugness when she is right and others are wrong, but most of the time she is able to contain the urge to say 'I told you so'.
When working, Imogen is calm and methodical, preferring to be provided with details from active field operatives and inserting them into her working knowledge base for extrapolation, rather than performing any actual field work herself. This marks her as a rather trusting person, given that in certain ways her lack of eyesight has required that she have complete, naive faith in the people around her, which can sometimes put her in awkward – or downright dangerous – situations.
LIKES:
• Chocolate;
• The smell and feel of leather and wood;
• Sitting in her Chesterfield in front of the fireplace with Chopin, Mozart, etc. playing in the background.
Phoebe Darkholm (daughter of Sabertooth and Mystique) makes a failed assassination attempt on Nevada Senator Paul Kennoly during his visit to Washington to enhance his anti-mutant ‘Push for a Cure to the Disease’ campaign. Having failed to kill the Senator himself due to last-minute logistical issues, Phoebe instead managed to kill Paul’s wife, Margaret. After a hasty retreat back to Nevada, Paul pulls all stops to find his wife’s killer...
“Imogen delCordia?”
Standing stock-still, straight as a die, he waited patiently as the young woman slowly folded her Braille-enabled cards face-down on the blackjack table and turned to face him. Resisting the urge to smile, she regarded the stiff-suited man with an appraisal befitting a queen. “Have you come to arrest me, Officer?” she purred in her gravelly, Texan drawl. “This is Las Vegas, gambling is not against the law.” “I assume then that you have no idea who I am.”
The man shifted nervously. “On the contrary, I know exactly who you are, Miss delCordia. But it’s not up to me to decide if your style of gambling is…unfair.” “I see. Then I can finish this game before I forfeit, right?” The man nodded, so Imogen quickly finished her hand, gathered her winnings into her lap-pack and eased out of her chair. “So, you’re obviously some kind’a po-lice, so what c’n I do for y’all?”
“My name is Darien Fawkes, and I’m a crime-scene investigator with the FBI", he said whilst flashing his ID, rather quickly Imogen noted. “A C.S.I., huh? What branch, bucko?”
“Er, New York.” Another nervous shift. “Long ways out’o your jurisdiction, ainch’ya bucko?”
Darien looked straight into Imogen’s eyes and met them with a stare designed to show her who was in charge. “What do you know about Senator Paul Kennoly?”
Imogen walked slowly over to the nearby bar with Darien in tow, feeling her way with the retractable blind-stick she had deftly flicked into its extended state. She ordered herself a gin-and-tonic - on the rocks, with a straw - which Darien paid for. “Well, he’s a Senator, for one. But specifically, he’s the one who had his wife shot in Washington last week, right? Hell, just ‘cause I’m in Nevada-”
“Don’t worry, Miss deCordia-“
“Imogen, please.”
“Miss…Imogen, I have no intention of accusing you of anything. In fact, I’ve been informed that you may be of some help to us, that your particular…talents…may assist us in catching the person or persons responsible.”
Imogen slowly reached for her drink and felt along the rim for the requested straw. Bending down and sipping slowly, Imogen savoured the tart drink before replying. “And how do my ‘talents’ come in handy this time?”
Darien sipped the ice-water he had requested, and removed from the inside pocket of his jacket two things: the first, a formal letter from the FBI asking for her assistance, underwritten by the FBI’s Deputy Director; the second, a grainy but still reasonably detailed photograph of a young woman. “This young lady was spotted leaving the scene of the attempt on Senator Kennoly’s life. We are reasonably certain that she is either a mutant, or in league with them. We of course would be most grateful to you for any help you can give us in apprehending this individual.”
Imogen smiled wryly. “Hmph. What you mean to say is, ‘you have just be’n recruited into the service of the United States of America on a matter of National Security, once ag’in’, right? So, will I get paid on time this time? I have to eat, ya’know.”
Helloooo Eric,
Here goes la critique... as usual, it's so we get a better idea of what you meant. So please don't take this as nagging, but a way for everyone concerned to find out more about your character
Appearance: From my experience, most people born blind have eyes that are kind of... off. Either glazed over or different from those of seeing people in another way. What about her? Also, I found blind people - even when looking at you - won't ever *really* look into your eyes, the simple reason being that they can't locate them exactly...
It may be an important thing to add whether or not the same is true for her; seeing as she isn't psychic though, I'd recommend going for the more common variant...
Powers: What I'm not getting here is why exactly her eyesight was affected by her mutation if she can use a higher percentage of her brain than most people. The two seem slightly unconnected seeing as there's more than enough space for "everyone", so to speak...
Or is there in fact no direct connection between her increased stats and the crippled sight-centre is an unrelated mutation?
Either way, clarification is necessary.
I'm also not sure how a higher short-term memory can have effects such as the ones you describe. For example: why would remembering someone's every move enable you to win a game of chess?
Same for why she'd learn things faster. To me, learning includes actually keeping whatever you've been taught...
Generally it may be good if you gave some more examples of how her powers work exactly. I can deduct what you mean from the puzzle example you've given in the history part, her memorising the pieces and putting them together "in her mind", but still some more detail would be good.
History:
- Please decide on a DOB It's 1993 here, but 1996 at the top.
- What were her parents reactions to realising that their baby girl was blind without a chance to be cured?
- Please add some detail regarding her private life. Friends, romantic life (if any).
- Considering that I've never seen a blind person at a public school, I'm wondering why she was attending one. Was it a semi-specialised institute of sorts? Because I know most schools don't have the necessary material to properly support a disabled person.
- Linked with the one above: how was the additional support funded?
- Ok, I'll freely admit that I suck at maths... but did she really skip 4 years of school? Maybe that'll make more sense to me once you've explained her powers a little more
- How did these gov't take notice of her. Isn't it pretty much illegal for someone under 18 to work for them? And again, what do her powers have to do with what she did/does there?
Sample:
Two general things:
- Please paragraph your texts to make them easier to read.
- Maybe you could add some more descriptive passages, especially to link parts of dialogue. What tone is being used? Is there a hint at certain emotions, other underlying aspects?
And that's it from me. I do realise this may seem a lot, but believe me, it's not all that much. It all boils down to two essential points:
- Explain her powers so everything is making more sense. At the moment I'm sorry to say that to me it sounds a bit like you've been overestimating the impact an increased temporary memory would have on someone's intelligence. Just because I can memorise things for a certain time doesn't make me more intelligent, it makes me a walking library (which you wouldn't call particularly smart per se XD).
- Add more details. Especially the history section is rather short and lacking information on the more personal side of her life. The main purpose of that area is to get to know your character better, to see where she's coming from and why she is the way she is. That includes things from her everyday life (no, not when she gets up and how she likes her toast *lol*) like something as basic as if she was a popular kid, or maybe looked down on/teased/whatever-ed because she was/is smarter than the others. Or at university, being 4+ years younger than everybody else, at an age where that's making an *immense* difference (puberty!).
Please give the poor gal a life
Matt
For everyone comes the time when they have to take over responsibility. It stands to argue whether there is also a time when they can get rid of it again.
Re: Imogen delCordia
-pets her nagger of dooooom as he requests his words not to be considered 'nags'- xD
I'm back from holidayingness.. A few pointers from Matt were things I've already mentioned over MSN to you Eric, so I'll kick back and wait since what I mentioned was just already mentioned above in further detail.
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