Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
Lorili woke up early as she usually did, reaching for the eye-patch that lay on the bedside table as she sat up. She didn't put it on immeadiately though. No, there was no longer a reason to. The blood orb of an eye she had had for so many years was gone now and become almost as normal as the other one. Due to having had the habit of putting the eyepatch on, it was still much more sensitive to light and took a little while to focus sometimes but the more she let it be free from under its covering, the more it was improving.
Although she had had her recovered eye for a little while now, she had yet to tell Logan. Lorili was still clinging onto the eyepatch although she no longer needed it. It had been something she had had for so many years, something she had been so intent on not being seen without that it was a little hard to let go of. But... But she wanted to let go of it. It was from another life, a life she didn't want to hold on to... A netherworld of pain and trauma.
Now that she looked at it from that angle, she was able to bring herself to throw the patch into the trash can that stood not too far away from the bed. In a way, the eye patches were just more physical reminders of the past and the things that made up the base her nightmares grew from. She would be able to fight much better without it anyway!
Trade shook her head quickly, trying to rid herself of the thought. Fight better without it? What kind of thinking was that!? She had given up the cage, she was not going back. Why had she even thought that? She was living a better life, an almost normal life. She wasn't addicted to violence and pain anymore, she was free from it!... An almost normal life... If that was true then why had she made herself so scarce while the institute had been having the Parents Weekend? She had avoided everyone including Logan, having practically hidden in her room and not having gone down for the usual coffee that she had gotten into the habit of having in the morning with him.
It was because parents were a sensitive issue with her. She knew that. It wasn't something she felt like weeping over or anything but something that made her uncomfortable. Every time she thought of parent, Cortez would come to mind then Samantha. Two people she never wanted to see there at the manshion. <Is that really true though? That you don't want to see either of them? What about Cortez? Aren't you worried about him, aren't you still feeling bad for what you did to him?> A voice in the back of her mind whispered.
<I have no reason to be worried about him! He wasn't my father, my father is the one who owned the knife I've been carrying for so long.> She argued with the voice. <But Cortez did own the knife. He owned all of you for years.> The voice said. <He didn't own me. No one owns me! Logan even said so to his face so he should know that!> She argued, running her fingers through her hair. <You used to hold Cortez's oppinions just as high and look what you did to him. First you balked and refused to fight for him, then you ran away, then when you were reunited you attacked him. What's to say you won't betray Logan too? That you won't stab him in the back?>
<Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up shit up... I could never lash out at him! He's different, his son is different, they wouldn't hurt me so I can never hurt them!> She shouted at the voice in her head. <Are you so sure about that? Cortez never hurt you without reason to. He only reacted the way you gave him reason to... And you hurt him.> She didn't know how to respond to that, her thoughts going empty for a moment. The guilt was still there twisting around inside of her like some sort of parasite. <I need to just ignore these negative thoughts and get ready for that coffee.> She thought. <You can't just brush me aside forever. You're going to have to face the facts one day.> Her mind stated.
It was true, she would have sort things out inside of her one day. But she wasn't sure if she was strong enough to just yet. So for now, she pushed everything to the side, getting up ftom the bed and making her way to the closet where her clothes hung.
There was more of an assortment of clothes now, her having gone out and bought some of her own to bring back to the institute; to her new home. Lorili pulled out one of the pre-arranged outfits and set it on the bed then made her way into the bathroom that adjoined her room for her morning shower. As she showered, she wondered how Logan would react to seeing that both of her eyes were intact when he came to the kitchen for the usual early morning coffee. The thought of it made her smile. He would understand when she explained to him why she hadn't told him when she had discovered it herself. He always seemed to understand her.
He was the only one who seemed to be able to do that... Even from the beginning. No one had been able to understand her like he did. Maybe that was why she found herself able to let him become as important to her as he had. A small relaxed sigh came from her as she let the hot water pour over her then once she was completely rinsed from the scrubbing, she turned the water off and stepped out, grabbing up a towel to dry herself with.
She stepped out of the bathroom and looked at the clock, expecting it to be about half an hour before the usual coffee but her eyes widened when she saw that she was running later than usual. Quickly, Lorili puled the towel off and tossed it over the bathroom door to let it dry then made her way to the bed, pulling on the undergarments, jean shorts, and fitted tee shirt. She didn't have time to mess with her hairso she figured that the combing she had given it in the shower as she washed it would have to do and that she would just have to wear it out until it air dried. It might have been time to give her hair a break from the usual ponytail she put it in anyway. With that thought in mind, she grabbed up her knife, tucking it between her hip and shorts then exited the room after stepping into some sandals.
She didn't smell any coffee made when she neared the kitchen and that made her smile a little. It meant that she wasn't too late. As she stepped through the doorway, she closed her more sensitive eye, the light being a little too much at first but as she started fixing up the coffee, she slowly opened it to get it used to the brightness. It seemed that the eye was getting better at adjusting. The blurryness had left within the first couple of minutes, the eye was doing better than it had before.
Once the coffee maker was set up, the bubbling and trickling already starting up along with the sweet aroma of the ground beans which started to filter through the kitchen. A couple of months ago, she didn't used to appreciate the smell, her not having been much of a coffee drinker but now that she was, it was a pleasant way to start the morning. The combination of that and the fact that she knew that the chance of an unexpected guest wandering into the kitchen at this time of morning helped her to relax some as she sat down and watched the doorway waiting for Logan to arrive.
She couldn't help but to grin a little as she watched the doorway, getting a little excited now about showing him the surprise. She had all but forgotten about how she had been feeling earlier that morning and the arguement she was having with herself in her head. Her grin faded a little though as she started to get shy over the thought of being seen without the patch. She felt kind of naked without it after having worn it for so many years. Did being without it suit her? Well, she would find out soon enough, wouldnt she.
all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
This was the way Logan liked the Institute. Quiet. The students still happily asleep, catching those last hours of rest before class dragged them unwillingly from their beds. It had always been Wolverine’s time. One of the perks of regeneration! Less sleep, more food! He would get up and wander round,looking in on the horses, savouring the almost wild feel of the grounds before real life caught up with them. Then back for coffee before heading up and making breakfast for the kids.
He had done it for years, until time and events had split them apart, turning family time into each man for himself.. Now , with Chris thrown into the equation and Connor in need of stability, Logan was making a point of heading upstairs sometime before lessons started to make something for them and the girls if they wanted to join in. Not quite like in the old days but he wasn’t complaining. At least it was a start. A routine of sorts. Just like this one. Morning coffee with that other early riser Lorilli.
To be honest he didn’t quite know how they had fallen into it. Sure he had tried to keep an eye on her, make sure she was ok and all… Logan chuckled He had always teased Hank about being a ‘babe magnet’ referring to the young girls who seemed to end up under his care. Now though he himself would have to watch out. What with Lorilli and Shalimar on his radar he could well find himself falling foul of the same accusation. Though from what he had heard Hank’s title could be becoming more than just honorary! . *Way to go old buddy!* he thought wryly *At least one of us now has a sex life!*
Hardly fitting thoughts for this time of the morning but it still brought a grin to Logan’s face as he made his way to the kitchen. Would she be there though? She hadn’t been for the last couple of days. Did that mean that she had moved on or only that parents weekend had scared her away? Logan knew that it always scared the shit out of him.
Not that he actually got to spend a lot of it with his family. That was a luxury left to the visitors. Though he had tried his best this time to be present. Still he had his duty as a teacher to fulfil. Shaking hands Smiling. Not honestly what he did best. And with Scott..! What? Some way to fudge around it perhaps? Under the weather…? Not on top of his game? Anything to avoid the actual word dying! Christ! How he needed this moment of peace after a weekend of being nice!
Great, now the smile was gone . Funny how thoughts could do that in an instant! Maybe Lorilli could put it back! Whether she realised it or not she often had the knack. Just watching her flourish made him happy! Each step she made away from the life she had left behind was a triumph. Even if he was the only one who really appreciated that to its full extent.
Was it so wrong to feel elated by that? Wasn’t Hank happy when Paige made a new friend or Kurt when Talia actually spoke to someone? It was the same thing surely? Knowing you had turned a life around? And if you wanted them to be there, waiting for you, as he did now, then that was to be expected as well ,wasn’t it?
And someone was certainly making coffee, that much he could detect without any effort. Another breath and Lorilli’s scent soon followed. Unexpected relief flooded through his body. He had known that she hadn’t left the Institute. Security would have alerted him if she had. No this was something else. A realisation that perhaps these early morning rendez vous counted for something in his life, even if he didn’t quite know what! A means of checking in at least and a pleasant one ot that. Making sure she was safe and well. Nothing more. Just another kid to look after. Then he opened the door and...
She was there with her silver hair still wet and her face... Logan drew a breath. Whole. Intact! As he had suspected it might have been ever since he had seen the reflected damage in Cortez’s eye! Though the fact that she showed the change to him was incredible. A breakthrough he hadnt imagined would come this soon though he couldnt deny that he had hoped for it.
“Hey” he said his throat suddenly choked with emotion. “Wow! You look… great.” Hell his was a turning point in her life and he was stumbling over words! He was…what... he couldn’t even tell, but certainly too may years older than her to be this awkward and yet this was all he could manage?It wasn't good enough. Not by any standard. So he forced a little more. "Better than great he added with a smile " you look fantastic! “
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
She had turned away to check on the coffee to see if the pot was anywhere near full yet but as she heard the footsteps approaching the kitchen, she turned to face the doorway again. Had it not been this silent; the bubbling of the coffee maker being the only sound to cling in the air, she would have most likely missed hearing him arrive. As he walked in, she smiled not being able to keep herself from doing so even if she tried.
He was in his usual wife-beater and jeans and as always, it suited him it looked good on him. Of course, he also had the nametags that he always wore around his neck. It was like her and her knife, he was never without them. It was like another part of his body almost and she could more than understand that. He and those tags may have been through a lot together just as she had her knife had. It would take a big deal to find them without those things. A real big deal.
“Hey." He sounded different, something out of the usual in his tone. She wondered if it was because she did not look alright without the patch, if she needed to quickly grab one up and cover her eye again. Her smile dropped a little, uncertainty coming ot her eyes as she wondered how this was going to go. She hoped well. Lorili wasn't sure of how she would be able to slide out of this gracefully if she had made a mistake in trying to go without the patch she had grown so used to over the years.
“Wow! You look… great.” His compliment caught her off gaurd and startled her but it wasn't in a negative way. No, it was in a way that made her smile become a bit more obvious as well as a bit shy. "Better than great you look fantastic! That earned a blush out of her and a glance to the side. She hadn't been complimented about her looks like this before. Nothing of great or fantastic. She had to admit, she didn't really know how to react.
"You're just saying that because I managed to get the coffee done on time this time." She stated, turning towards the coffee maker again and making her way to the counter and hoping that he might have missed it when her heart had skipped a beat.
Lorili brushed her hair back, tucking it into the back of her shirt to keep it out of the way before washing her hands and pulling out the mugs. "Great and fantastic aren't words that should be in the same sentence as me nevermind being said about me." She stated softly as she prepared their cups. "But good morning to you too, Logan." She said as she turned back around with mugs in hands.
all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
Compliments weren’t something he handed out every day so he didn’t quite know how this one would go down. Though the fact that she hadn’t ripped his heart out on the spot could maybe be taken as a good sign! In any case she blushed which wasn’t such a bad reaction surely,and then smiled which was an even better one.
Logan couldn’t believe how much she had changed in the time she had been at the Institute. Oh there were still problems aplenty , nothing else could be expected after the life she had lived but now…. There was an easy grace to her movements which replaced the nervous tension that had been there before and her words were more than just forced monosyllables filled with self loathing. And even if was the only one she seemed fully comfortable with at the moment, that was still immense progress by anyone’s standards!
Now she had gone further, casting away the eye patch that had been almost as much a mask to hide behind as anything else. It had belonged to Trade. The girl making coffee was all Lorilli. Nor was she finished with surprises. "You're just saying that because I managed to get the coffee done on time this time."*Was that humour I just heard?* Logan asked himself in pleased astonishment.*Today really must be a red letter day*
Wolverine installed himself at the table watching Lorilli as she prepared the coffee, noting how she confined her hair as it having it loose around her face bothered her a little. "Great and fantastic aren't words that should be in the same sentence as me nevermind being said about me." she said, a hint of her usual self depreciation creeping back into the conversation "But good morning to you too, Logan."
“Hey kid” he said teasingly, his smile gentle. ”I know I’m old but my eyes haven’t given out just yet. I can still recognise a pretty girl when I see one and I’ve got one standing in front of me just now. And what’s more she’s making coffee! Now tell me what better start to a morning can a man hope for?”
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.[/center]
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)“Hey kid..." She looked at him from where she had been examining the coffee in her cup. "I know I’m old but my eyes haven’t given out just yet. I can still recognise a pretty girl when I see one and I’ve got one standing in front of me just now. And what’s more she’s making coffee! Now tell me what better start to a morning can a man hope for?” He was teasing her, she could tell by his tone but her thoughts paused for a second and stuck on that smile he gave. It was nice to see him smile. It seemed like he needed more of that.
She shook her head quickly at the old comment, disagreement in her eyes. Lorili didn't see him as old. It wasn't just because of his appearances either. No, he just didn't feel it. And even though she had a rough... very rough idea of how old he might be, she still didn't think of him as old. Anyway, if he aged so slowly then his lifespan had to be really long so if one were to compare the years his body has grown to to the years that it may have left in it, he was no kid but he wasn't a grandpa either.
Another blush spread up her face like a kool aid container being filled at the pretty girl part of his statement and she looked ot the side, unable to look at him due to the strong shyness that suddenly hit her. Setting down his cup on the table, she smoothed her hand over her hair. When her face cooled some she looked back at him. "You won't be old for another hundred years at least, Logan." She stated softly. "As for the pretty talk, you shouldn't say such things. You know I take what you say seriously and if you keep it up, you'll have me believing that stuff... And I know for a fact that I'm not pretty." She told him.
Lorili truely believed that though. Every time she thought about her looks, she was disgusted. It was the same with her voice even if she had gotten to the point where she managed to push the disgust away enough to use it almost normally for Logan. No one could ever convince her that the scar-ridden body she had was anything but ugly. She didn't think she would ever see it as anything other than repulsive.
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
Her eyes opened suddenly and she was in an instant out of the deep sleep she seemed to have been in. There was something different though; it wasn't the sweet innocent Amber who had been living at the institute for the last week. No, it was the Amber who had been hiding behind the mirrors, behind those green eyes. The one who should have been born beside the girl but instead was absorbed into her, the soul trapped within the same body yet not allowed to have control of it as much as she should!--- Well, today she managed to break out of the prison and shove the other Amber to the back of the mind and locked her away there.
The usual soft smile that tended to linger on Amber's lips was replaced by a slight smirk- a smirk that told of mischief and ill will. Her expression was something that most people would find creepy and a darkness seemed to linger in her eyes. Dark Amber, the unborn twin-- she was up to no good and the target was already in mind. It was that man: Logan. His torrent of emotions had scared the other Amber but she herself was attracted to it like a leech to blood. There was so much fun she could have with that walking mass of chaos.
From day one of knowing about him, she had been trying to get out to play with him. Amber having used her powers to smooth things over earlier that day of arrival to this place helped some but it hadn't been enough to jump right out and grab up the oppertunity to torment someone quite yet. It was enough to creep a little further forward though and claim more of the brain. She would have enjoyed being able to torture Crystal while she was there but it took her this long to be able to take control of the body.
She was hungry but was early in the morning-- too early for most of the people in the manshion to be awake enough to do much with but as she made her way down the hall that led to the kitchen, her disappointment turned to glee. Upon reaching the doorway, her eyes took in the two that were already in there. She almost laughed.
:: Jackpot! Oh this is going to be almost TOO much fun!:: She thought. Both of them had a good amount of emotional wreckage and on top of that, it seemed that there was something growing between them. The levels of oxytocins and neutrophins were higher than if they had no interest in each other in that way. There were instabilities in the other hormones too, showing her that there were complications.
::This is perfect.:: She thought taking no time in grabbing up control of the hormones in both their bodies. :: First come, first serve. I'll start with YOU! Get in touch with your animal instincts, wild man.:: Dark Amber thought. She spiked up the neutrophins to an amazing height from the already elevated range it had been in as she stepped back out of the line of sight and into the hall. A sick grin was on her face as she listened to the going ons in the kitchen.
Her brow rose up when she took a 'look' at the white haired one's feelings on the surprise. She had been startled the little spike in the adrenaline showed that but what was this-- there was a rise in the passion right there she upped it a little, giving it a small boost.
Edited by: Post Kitten at: 5/26/06 5:47 am
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber) "You won't be old for another hundred years at least, Logan." And that was his curse wasn’t it. Years went past and he didn’t change. How long had this gone on? Here also his damned memory played him false. At least a hundred years that he could trace! And in all that time he hadn’t seemed to age at all. Not if Captain Americas testimony was to be believed
The mutant power that healed him, that had interested the weapon X project in the first place kept him trapped here. A man, yes! With all that that implied. Watching those he cared for grow old and die. Jean, Scott, Hank, Warren,.. they had been teenagers when they had come into his life.
And Michelle…… She had been so young when he had first set eyes on her. Too young for him even to have looked at her in that way. A student Out of bounds and rightly so.But the years had past and things had changed. And when she had been ready he had still been there waiting. If she had lived she would have looked older than him now. And it wouldn’t have mattered. Not to him at least.
Now after fifteen years of being alone, of curbing all his instincts , there was another young woman in front of him. Beautiful. Desirable. *Woah! where did that come from?* Not from him surely. This was Lorilli . She was the same age as his daughter. And fragile as hell. Like glass under his claws..
So why was he watching her lips as she spoke; wondering what it would fel like to kiss them?Logan drew a breath as she spoke only making matters worse. "As for the pretty talk, you shouldn't say such things" she said setting the coffee mugs down between them. "You know I take what you say seriously and if you keep it up, you'll have me believing that stuff... And I know for a fact that I'm not pretty."
But she was… why couldn’t she see that? More importantly why couldn’t he tell her? Something was ringing warning bells in his mind! Something that his senses picked up and recognised too late. Pheromones! A subtle change in scent that only his senses could have picked up! But which he was forced to obey.
Of course he could ell her! This was stupid! She wouldn’t take it wrong. She couldn’t. After all it was the truth wasn’t it, Nothing more. But that didn’t stop the emotion from sounding suddenly in his voice as he asked “Who told you that? That you weren’t pretty?”
How dare they lie to her like that? Destroying her confidence! Making her feel less than she was! Just as weapon X had done. Telling him he was nothing. Just an animal, with an animals needs! Whiich he wasn’t …. And yet...
What the hell was going on? He had wanted to reassure….. No to make her understand. That they had lied! When they had told her that. Where was the harm? Why had it started out so innocent and ended up like this? In any case he had to tell her…didn’t he? To stop them from warping her life as they had his . Nothing more! Surely nothing more.
” Whatever they said they were telling the truth. You aren’t just pretty. You are beautiful.” The words were out before he could stop them, before he even wanted too. One intention conveying another desire; Conveying desire. Though he didn’t know why. Even if he couldnt deny it.
Manipulation! His senses screamed it even as they drove him to his feet, ignoring the coffee , the rituel,even age, all the boundaries that life and responsibilities had placed between them. Bringing him to her side. His hands reaching out to touch , held back only by years of restraint" I told you that no man could want more Why cant you believe me?"
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.[/center]Edited by: o Logan Howlett o at: 5/26/06 4:39 pm
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
The way he was looking at her was distracting, causing her to be unable to look away from those deep blue eyes.“Who told you that? That you weren’t pretty?” He asked her. Her heartbeat quickened after skipping a beat something in his tone making a little heat spread to her cheeks. She didn't understand what she was feeling, never having experianced it before. Whatever it was had her standing there, unable to respond for a moment.
Who had told her she wasn't pretty? Plenty of people. And Lorili had no choice but to agree, seeing the ugliness herself every time she looked in the mirror and feeling it at her fingertips every time she showered as her fingertips felt over the many scars that were on her body that had been there since before her abilities had come. Even if she hadn't had the scars, she could still see every flaw. There were so many that she coudn't even see the slightest bit of anything pretty about her.
"Whatever they said they were telling the truth. You aren’t just pretty. You are beautiful.” That was unexpected to say the least. Not only his words but the way he had spoken them. A way that she had never thought he would speak to her. Words that she never imagined would bring such a reaction from her as the one she was feeling now. Had she really wanted to hear those things said to her? Or was it hearing it from him that she had wanted?
As he suddenly got up and came close to her, stopping so close to her, she found herself unable to keep thinking about what it may have been. The action had startled her, causing her to catch her breath but at the same time another feeling was flooding in. His hand had reached out then hesitation had come and she found herself wondering just what it might feel like it he hadn't stopped. Her nervousness had vanished, replaced by this other feeling. The feeling that made her want to move closer to him and caused her to do so even if it was a little.
"I told you that no man could want more. Why cant you believe me?" Her breath caught for a moment. It wasn't that she thought he was a liar, she had thought he had just been being nice to her. And when he had said that about what more would a man want, she had thought he had been making a light joke. But at this moment as she stood there so close to him and looking into his eyes a different thought came to her. One that sent a tingle up her spine and more heat rushing to her cheeks to tint them in a blush. Had he been talking about himself as being that man?
The way his bodylanguage spoke, the way he was looking at her, it was familiar yet it was different. She had seen simular from others but his was different because there was no murderous intent in his eyes or even the look of one who was out to harm her. He would never hurt her, she knew that in every fiber of her being to where even the voice in the back of her mind which douted everyone had given up on doubting him. Maybe that had something to do with what she was feeling the urge to bring herself closer still one that she couldn't follow due to it having caught her by surprise.
"Logan...." Lorili could only speak his name, not knowing how to respond to him in words. Even though she had been getting better in speaking out her thoughts to him, it seemed all the practice failed her at this moment. Her voice sounded strange to her; softer than it had been earlier and with the same tint of the emotion that had touched Logan's words.
((OOC- PK says Logan posteh can go next and that she'll post after that.))
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
His heart was racing now, altered hormones sending the blood coursing through his veins. Even at the best of times his feral nature made his emotions volatile. Now with Amber’s power running through them like wildfire he was a powder keg waiting to explode.
Desire! It was a force in him as potent as the rage that sometimes stripped him of reason, sending his claws ripping through flesh till there was nothing left around him but blood and the cries of the dying. And that was why he kept it so closely in check. Oh there had been times since his break up with Michelle all those years ago that he had let it flare; sordid, frenzied one night stands with the first willing woman he came across. A need fulfilled. An itch scratched, nothing more. Not worth the look of contempt on his children’s faces when he came home. The look that said he was an animal even if the urges that had driven him too it had been a mans.
This though… this was different. Pure lust striking out of nowhere he could have handled better somehow, but this attack was crueller and more subtle. Not one button pushed but two. Neutrophins for desire yes but thrust to this level they inevitably dragged the oxytocins in their wake, changing them from those produced by affection and concern into something more elusive and more dangerous. Something Logan had only ever truly felt for two women, one dead, the other happily married to a friend.
Logan’s mind reeled in shock, rejecting the idea as a truly starving man’s stomach rejects the very food that could save him. Yet he couldn’t tear his eyes from her face as she blushed and moved closer. Such a little step, bringing her scent intoxicatingly near, making him want to bury his head in her neck and drink it in.
Even then, if she had flinched or had one hint of fear crossed her face he would have drawn back. Wouldn’t he? But that didn’t happen. Instead her lips opened and it was his name that emerged, spoken as he would have spoken hers at that moment if only he had dared.” Logan…” How good it sounded, as if for once someone accepted him for all that he was. And all that he wasn’t. As if they could see past the compartments his life seemed to divide him into . Killer. X man. Father. And just see him. God even if it was artificial it was tempting and it pulled him towards her like a magnet.
Or like the mutant who bore almost the same name and had once ripped the adamantium from his body. Would this hurt as much, Logan wondered, He thought that it might. Every time you left yourself open you took that chance. And hormones had blown all his barriers to dust. And so he turned to face her, urgent, his body sending out signals that were clear even as the part of his mind that recognised the deception tried to claw them back.
“Don’t “he said advancing on her, watching her retreat not out of fear but because she too was overpowered by the moment. Trying to send her away even as he yearned for her! “Don’t go there. I’m not….. what you need. I’m not safe…” A last ditch attempt at reason. So few words to express all that stood between them! That should have stood between them that was.
But then Lorilli was like him. Wasn’t that why they were here, in just this situation? Because they were more alike than they were different? She measured words at what they cost to say, not just at what they said. And these had cost him dear. To hold off, when every instinct was telling him she was his for the taking? But that was just it, wasn’t it. She hadn’t been a minute ago . And he hadn’t been like this.
They had been .. something …. Father and daughter?… Surely not that! The very idea made his stomach churn knowing what he felt now. Friends?…. Certainly. Guardian! That was it. Her happiness important to him! Her safety a constant worry! He had been here before with Jubilee and Rogue. And what had they felt in return. Childish crushes at best .To be accepted and put aside for what they were. They had outgrown them with time. Knowing that the years held them apart! Setting their affections on someone their own age! As Lorilli should. As he should force her too! But she was there, female to his male and the temptation to accept what he knew she would offer was so strong. Almost as strong as his restraint! But not quite!
Hands that had reached for her landed against stone walls , pinning her in place but not touching. Never that. Her soft form would be forever unknown. Though he thought he might shatter with the effort. “This isn’t me” he gasped. “This isn’t you.” And it was true. Even if he could let himself succumb to this incidious manipulation he could never let her do the same.That was after all the role of guardian .
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explai
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
She didn't know what this feeling was but there was no doubt in her that he was feeling the same, she could see it in his eyes and she could see it in her own eyes in the reflections those blue pools cast of her looking at him as he came closer. Her view focused away from the reflections and back to him soley him as he came closer to her. It was intense, what she saw in him, and it caused her to blush and step back as he came closer. “Don’t." He spoke out, his voice was husky from the emotion she had yet to place a name on. Don't what, she wondered. “Don’t go there." He told her, now so very close to her as her back found the wall and pressed against it lightly. She didn't know what he was talking about when he had told her not to go there but at the same time, she did. He was trying to warn her against what she was feeling, trying to warn her away from him and his next words prooved that.
"I’m not….. what you need. I’m not safe…” Logan said even as he was standing there looking at her the way he was looking, making her feel the way she was feeling with the messages his body was sending to her. He was trying to protect her, she could tell that even with how her head was swimming in the strong emotions and urges that were trying to drown her. A part of her fought against the current, a very small part of her but mostly she was being washed away.
He had told her that he wasn't what she needed, that he wasn't safe. When was anyone safe, she thought but at the same time, she knew she felt safe with him. He was the only one she felt that she was safe with actually... And as for him not being what she needed, he was wrong. He was so wrong. She did need him, she needed him in different ways. Right now, even though the feeling was new to her, she knew she needed him to come closer to her. To touch him, to hold him. As he reached out, she made no action to try to avoid it and continued to look deeply in his eyes even as he placed his hands on the wall, arms on either side of her yet not touching her. She took a deep breath in, realizing she had been holding it and it seemed to shiver as she let it out.
“This isn’t me” Oh yes it was. Yes it was him, it wouldn't be anyone else. He was the only one she had ever felt all of this for, the only one she wanted to feel this for. “This isn’t you.” He told her even though she could tell he was struggling against something. Struggling against what the both of them were feeling.
The feelings going through her were new to her at least her feeling them to this level. Regardless of that, she couldn't be told that this wasn't real. It felt too real for them not to be them. For most of her life, she went what her feelings told her to, why shouldn't now be the same?
Lorili pulled her back off of the wall where it had been resting against and brushed the bangs out from when her hair had tumbled out from where she had loosly tucked it away in the back fo her shirt. She then lowered her hands to her sides and closed the space between the two of them to even less than it had been before. For once, she felt no reluctance to bring herself close to him, she didn't feel shyness now or overpowered by the intensity of his gaze.
"Yes you are..." She whispered, their faces barely half an inch apart. "Yes you are what I need, Logan!" She declaired. "And you're the only person I feel safe with... Maybe I want to go there and maybe I know you want to go there too." She continued, not even knowing where her words were coming from, just speaking them as they came. Passion, it was there in her eyes and she wasn't hiding it from him.
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
“Don’t -- Don’t go there. I’m not….. what you need. I’m not safe…” Dark Amber was shocked to hear him saying stuff like that He had a lot more restraint than she had thought he would. more than she thought anyone would actually. The neutrophin levels had been moved up a good amount and she was shocked that they weren't rolling around on the floor like a pair of rabid weasles by now. It was like he knew somehow-- No, it couldn't be that.
“This isn’t me-- This isn’t you.” Damn it, now this was just pissing her off. No one said no to her! Even if they didn't know she was the cause of all this which was happening in the kitchen now, she was annoyed by their defiance against the hormonal commands she was giving them. Even if the tone of his voice told her he was bending under the pressure. She wanted them to break down to her will! Things would go so much more entertaining that way when she began to change things up.
The white haired chick said something but since it was whispered, Dark Amber could not understand it. "Yes you are what I need, Logan!" The woman announced. That was much better. It seemed that the pale haired one was easier to control. Maybe even as easy as it was to control Crystal with the emotions. "And you're the only person I feel safe with... Maybe I want to go there and maybe I know you want to go there too." The woman stated. ::Well, girly, that's about to change.:: D.Amber thought, a sick grin twisting to make itself home on her lips.
Already she was getting hold of the different hormones again she would make something that was like a time bomb ready to explode. Adreniline, cortizol, they were the hormones she was preparing to release into both of their systems. The result would be rage-- it would be beautiful. They would go from hot and bothered to flaming tempers as soon as the neutrophins and oxytocins were disperse and soffocated by the noradreniline and cortizol. Of course, she had to be careful because if she didn't make the right mix of hormones they could just end up being afraid instead.
As if-- she wasn't like the weak Amber, she had more control over the power and she knew better about what she was doing. Her every hormonal mixture would be perfection for what she desired to be a result emotionally form her targets. her confidense in her abilities was to the point of arrogance almost but to her it wasn't arrogance-- it was the f*cking truth!
She had it all set up now-- the timer was already in motion. She was going to give them a few last moments before all of the neutrophin and oxytocin was flushed out of their system and the more interesting cortizon and noradrenaline took their place, switching out the mushy stuff and lust for anger for rage just as intense as the passion had been.
::Better make the time count-- it's not gonna last for much longer.:: D. Amber thought viciously.
She smelled of fresh soap and flowers and her own sweet self. As intoxicating as wine and just as apt to make a man lose his reason. They were so close now, only the strength of his will holding them apart. Close enough for him to feel her breath on his lips as she spoke , bringing him the knowledge of what her mouth would taste like if he were to bridge that gap.
"Yes you are..." Her words didn’t make sense They couldn’t. He couldn’t let them. Logan’s body shook with the effort of holding back, willing her to keep quiet, longing to hear her speak. "Yes you are what I need, Logan!" Thoughts started to splinter in his head, each one breaking into a myriad of shards that cut and tore. How could he resist? How could he give in? They were separated only by air, skin almost touching skin. Wanting to touch! Needing to touch! Being invited to…..
No this wasn’t happening. Not with her. Except that his body was telling him otherwise. Assuring him that her passion was as real as his own! Or as false. Desperately he tried to hold on to the thought, fighting need, not with logic, that had never been his forte and faced with such an attack would have been doomed to failure, but rather with instinct. His curse! His salvation. Leaving him open to the manipulation but also detecting its presence. A hollow defence. A paper shield thrown up in the face of a sword. But there none the less. Allowing him to grasp at straws even as he drowned!
"And you're the only person I feel safe with...” Safe . She had to be safe. Too many people she had trusted had betrayed her in the past, hurting her , using her. Taking her… “ But that had been different She hadn’t wanted them She hadn’t loved them. As she loved him… Wasn’t that what she was telling him.? Or was it just what he needed to hear?
No the words were hers. If only he could be sure that the emotion was. And she was making it all to easy to believe “ Maybe I want to go there she told him breathlessly and maybe I know you want to go there too." He had lost his foothold and was falling, into her eyes, into the foam of her hair. And there was nothing he could do to stop himself. Honour, reputation. Even the newly rebuilt relationship with his children . Everything would be sacrificed on the alter of their desire…..
Except that that wasn’t fair was it. He had worked so long, tried so hard, given up so much just to get to this point And now he was supposed to just throw it all away? How dare she ask that of him? Who the hell was she anyway? Just some random kid he had picked up. Nothing! Nobody! Some manipulative little slut luring him in with her wide eyes and constant need! Save me, help me, bed me! Expecting him to always be there, snapping her fingers, watching him come running! As if he was her trained poodle!
Well he would show her. Make her realise her mistake The last one she would ever make. He was Wolverine and no one could ever tame him. Not even himself. His claws sprang out, embedding themselves into the wall as the red rage spread over him, his hormones calling in all directions at once. Love, desire, anger, fear! A mixture once tasted that you didn’t easily forget. Not even after so many years and so much manipulation.
The memory came out of nowhere, drawn up from the dark abyss Weapon X had made of his mind, stunning him with its revelation. There had been a fight hadn’t there? Adrenalin stirring him to violence! Some one who had known him. Known the shame that was his inheritance! Threatening not just his life but the existence he had built for himself. No! The existence she had built for him.
A girl. A woman. Loved and desired but never to be his. Falling beneath his claws, the smell of her blood still fresh and raw. Rose! Oh god how could he have forgotten her! And the pain of her loss…. He used it now, throwing it against the emotions that threatened to dominate him. To make him take the life of another girl who was dear to him. "I ..will .. never hurt ..you .. Lorilli" he said. And finally despite everything, even his own demons, he knew it to be true
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explai
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
They were getting closer, not physically but being drawn deeper into each others eyes.As what she saw in them changed, so did what she felt. There was something wrong. Her body immediately tensed. She moved back quickly, her back meeting the wall again as she made space so she could draw her knife. <It was a trick! He was lieing the whole time! He was just making a fool of you!> Her thoughts shouted.
The thoughts were right. All that talk about her being pretty abouther being beautiful there was no chance that was true and she had known that! She was angry at herself for having let herself open so much to him. Who the hell was he to have her trust? She didn't even know him for long! Her anger turned outwards though as more thoughts came to her mind. <Who the hell does he think he is!? Telling me those lies, trying to get me to believe them so I'd let him close! Too close! He's too close and he should most definately know better! Does he think he's different!?> The thoughts were like gasoline being sprayed on a flame.
Her eyes narrowed, mirroring rage and causing her irises to almost seem like fire. What made him think that he was different from anyone else? That she would just follow the commands that he was constantly trying to give her?! Don't do this. Don't do that... Trying to tell her who she was and wasn't! He had just done that a moment ago even going as far as acting as if he had an interest in a creature like her! Did he get a kick out of it!? Taking advantage of her having opened herself up to him just like everyone else who she was supposed to be able to be open to!
His claws, she heard them sink through the concrete of the wall. So that was the way it was huh? Lure into a false sense of security then hurt her! Betray her! Proove to her the thoughts that had only recently let her alone about him had been right! It wasn't going to happen! Not this time! She would kill him before that would happen! How dare he even think that she would let him do it!?
<He thinks you're weak! He thinks you can't do anything to him because you let him close!> The thoughts shouted in her mind. <He's wrong! I'm not weak! Everyone underestimates me so I shouldn't be shocked that he did the same thing!> She thought. She would show him! She would kill him for that insult he had been dragging on this whole time! For trying to make a fool of her! Sure she had gotten angry before but not often like this. In the next second, as soon as the slightest movement came from him, she snapped, losing her temper.
Hot blood sprayed across her face, blood from where she slashed him. One wasn't enough though. No, she was slashing him repetitively, blade cutting through skin and flesh deeply. Her anger made her silent, as silent as death. She would hurt him like he was about to try to hurt her! She would make him pay before she killed him! She had stabbed him and was about to drag the blade up from his stomach and angle it to stab him through the heart but right before she was about to force the blade up under the ribcage, the words he had spoken finally registured in her thoughts. <I ..will .. never hurt ..you .. Lorilli> His words repeated in her mind.
He hadn't attacked her, he had just stood there while she had been... Her eyes widened, the rage that had been in them flickering out and being drowned by horror and regret. What had she just done?! Both of her hands had been wrapped around the handle of her knife and now she used them to pull the blade out quickly. How had it ended up as this? They were just supposed to be having their usual coffee... How could it have ended up like this!? She couldn't believe that she had actually attacked him. That she had been trying to kill him! She had thought nothing would make her get to that point, that she was unable to get to that point with him... Especially after she had gotten so close with him after she had let herself trust him to believe that she felt safe with him.
Tears, they burned in her eyes then cut trails through the blood that was on her face. Through his blood that she had caused to spray from him with such a desire to cause pain and death only seconds ago. Although his wounds were already healing, she still felt terrified of what she had just done to him. And she felt pain so strong that it caused a small sob to come from her as she hung her head. He hadn't hurt her, she had hurt herself... Those wounds she had cut and stabbed into him might as well have been carved into her heart. Even while she had been in the cage fights, she had never lost her temper like this never lost control all of the way like this... A girls laughter came, not from her own lips as she feard it was due to the how out of character she had acted only moments ago towards Logan. It was coming from the doorway of the kitchen.
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
She couldn't help but to laugh it was too funny. She had cut her abilities short seeing just how far the two would go without them and at the same time letting reality sink in for them. It seemed like the short hairy guy had somehow snapped out of it anyway. Dark Amber had been standing there in the doorway for a couple of seconds, long enough to see the man's claws sink into the wall and see how the bleach-head went all crazy on him, those hormones obviously making more of a mark in her than the man.
The laughter didn't escape her until she saw the white haired woman stop suddenly and heard the pathetic sound that came from her.-- Then the laugh came out loud and full of amusement. She had to hold onto the doorframe to keep from doubling over. "Hahahaha! This is priceless! Would have been more interesting if you both had gone nuts and made with the slicing and dicing on each other instead of it being a one way thing." She stated, laughter still in her tone.
Dark Amber let go of the doorframe and clapped her hands. "Bravo on the show though! If anyone else saw it it mighta been a tear-jerker for them... Even had a little hot and steamy scene! But it was a little disgusting too much of that love bullsh*t for my taste but this right here was worth it!" She exclaimed. The anger was still lingering a little-- of course she could tell that. This was the perfect time to bail out and watch the real stuff from her hidey hole in the back of Amber's mind.
Her expression changed, the sick smirk dropping from her lips to be replaced by the parting of her lips. Her eyes widened and she blinked a couple of times as the personalities changed. There was no other change but her expression to tell that she was a different person than from before. There was something wrog, something terribly wrong! If only she knew how she got down to the kitchen or what was going on!
Everything was a blank in her mind when she tried to pull up the information on what had happened after she had lain down to go to sleep. She didn't remember waking up or getting out of the bed. She couldn't remember walking down the halls an stairs to get to this doorway she was standing in. Her hand came up and covered her mouth as her eyes widened and she turned pale. What had happened!? Was this a nightmare? It had to be a nightmare! There was blood, she could see it from the angle she was standing at. There was anger, she could feel it from both the people she was looking at. Had she been sleep-walking an walked in on something that she shouldn't have?
((ooc Zizi and I both wrote the post here for the ambers.))
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
Pain. Not just in his mind but in his body. Though that was all right. There had been many times when he had known worse and deserved it less. That didn’t stop it from hurting though. The knife was sharp , just as he had always known it would be, the blade tearing through his flesh,wounds opening and closing like so many mouths eager to drink in agony.
Logan closed his eyes, as much to avoid seeing the anger on Lorrilli’s blood streaked face as to hide the suffering in his own eyes. Again and again the steel split the skin, sectioning muscles, driving itself ever deeper in search or the adamantium bones that lay beyond, skittering off them when they were finally found.
Through it all Logan didn’t move, not even when the knife sunk up to the hilt in his gut, forcing him to choke of the cry that sprang to his throat as the pain hit him hard, blossoming from the wound like poison. Still he held her pinned, as he had when this whole mad incident had started, though driven now by an entirely different kind of desire. The desire to keep her safe. Placed as they were, they were both trapped; his claws imprisoned by the concrete from which he refused to withdraw them in case the rage flared again despite all his efforts, Trade held within this new steel cage that was his body, her violence hurting only him. Or so he hoped.
His head was lowered, bowed before the agony that filled him as his wound tried to heal itself around the blade that was still embedded in his stomach.. Wolverine was shaking, sweat soaking through what was left of his top, now nothing more than a slashed and bloody rag that hung in ruined strips around him. His jeans too were drenched with the blood that flowed from the deadly stomach wound. He wondered if she knew that leaving the knife in made things worse, if the anger had turned to cruelty, a need to hurt and hurt badly. As she was doing now!
Then suddenly the knife was gone, grating of ribs as it exited, the sound of metal on metal sounding sickeningly as it did so. Logan braced himself for another attack, half wincing in anticipation of the next impact. But it never came. Instead there was a sob, wretched and heartfelt that drew his head up, revealing what he had fought so hard to prevent.
Damage! To her! Not physical but psychological. And with Lorrili all the harder to heal. He had to make her see that things were Ok. He had to tell her that all this didn’t matter It had been a trick, something out with their control. Not real. Never real. No matter how it had felt at the time. He just had to get a breath so that he could explain.
The laughter! If Logan’s claws hadn’t already have been out they would have been unsheathed at the mere sound of it. “This is priceless!” The anger wasn’t so far away that he couldn’t feel it rising again as she spoke “Would have been more interesting if you both had gone nuts and made with the slicing and dicing on each other instead of it being a one way thing." Logan could see the tears flowing down Lorrilli’s face, his blood trickling down with them. And this girl thought it was funny did she?
And she kept right on pushing. "Bravo on the show though!” Wolverines breath was coming faster again, the rage had had striven so hard to control taking hold now that the one truly responsible for what had happened had been revealed. “If anyone else saw it it mighta been a tear-jerker for them... Even had a little hot and steamy scene!”
Shame swept through Logan as he remembered what he had felt, all the need and unfulfilled desire that lay within him dragged out and used as if it were a plaything for a bored child. It was a violation in the most profound sense of the word, a rape of emotion that made him feel physically sick. “ But it was a little disgusting too much of that love bullsh*t for my taste but this right here was worth it!"
Her words were haunted by the echoes of other voices, the ones that crept out in the middle of the night and killed his sleep. “Come on boys lets see how much the little freak can really take! Ten dollars says he’ll heal this in an hour, any takers.” Bets. Cheers. Laughter. Screams. His of course. he was always the star attraction . The one act they just couldn’t get enough of. And why not . Lets face it he was versatile. Shoot him, pour petrol over him and set him alight, hit him with a f*****g tank. And he still got up…..eventually. These were the memories he hadn’t lost, the ones that he saw just before the world turned red and his claws struck. He saw them now and went still, his face settling into grim lines, hatred darkening his blue eyes.
With a snarl he straightened, tearing his claws free, chunks of wall breaking away showering both him and Lorilli in white dust that stuck to their bodies further adding to the chaos of their appearance. Then he turned, not with the lightening speed for which he was famous but with a slow determination that was somehow even more frightening.
His hands hung clenched at his side, the blades that sprang from his knuckles gleaming in the light like long fingers waiting to kill. "So" he said. “You like shows do you. lets see how you like this one” Flash! Claws reduced a nearby chair to so much firewood. Flash. The table followed, two slashes tearing it apart sending cups and coffee smashing to the floor, the cheerfull tablecloth torn and mangled, stained too by Wolverine’s bloods as he crossed the kitchen,to where Amber stood frozen, his progress as relentless as death and just as unforgiving.
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explai
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
There came a sound that ony should come from an angered animal, not a man... A snarl that sounded the anger that Amber could already feel though the elevating levels of the mixed hormones of adrenaline and cortizol in the man. The chaos she felt in Mr. Howlette that first day that she had met him was someting she felt again but this time, it was worse. It was more stirred up and a lot more terrifying. She ga bring gave a small gasp out of being startled as he took his hands from the wall suddenly, revieling the long metal knife-like things that were sticking out from the back of his hands. She knew that there was more than just something being wrong with this picture... Everything was wrong with this.
The two that were in the kitchen were both terrible... What she felt in both of them had her wanting to cry and cry hard. The chaos was terrible there were so many instabilities in them! She wasn't sure if even she could cause them to ever feel peace. They were both suffering but in different ways. While the white haired stranger was suffering from sadness panic and stress, Mr. Howlette was suffering from stress and an amazing amount of anger. It wasn't only the hormones that told her of the actual level of anger though. No, it was when he turned so slowly and the way he was looking at her that showed her what true anger was.
The way he looked at her caused her to feel her heart leap in her throat, panic shooting through her and causing her eyes to widen even more than they had been. Her gaze locked onto those blades that were attatched to his hands, her unable to look away from their deadly gleam. "So" A word spoken caused her eyes to dart to his own and get trapped there. “You like shows do you. lets see how you like this one” As a chair nearby him was cut through and wood scattered, Amber felt her knees lose all their strength all at one time and she was suddenly seated on the floor in the doorway.
Her heart hammered in her chest and she was paralized in fear as the table became the next victim of those frightening and no doubt deadly weapons of his. Cups shattered onto the floor, the tablecloth was in shreds, and blood dripped down form the man's mutalated shirt as he came towards her. She didn't know what was going on. What had happened to lead up to this!? It was like she had been pulled into the middle of some strange horror movie. "P-p-please! D-d-don't!" She stuttered out. Amber didn't usually stutter .... atleast she didn't think so... but she was so scared out of her wits that it was a surprise that she could talk at all.
The terror was so strong that she couldn't even hold control over her own bladder. But who could keep from peeing themselves if such a scarey thing was happening to them and they didn't know how to stop it? "W-w-why is this happening!?" She cried out scared and confused and both emotions sounding in her wailed out question. "I. I don't know how I got here!...." She managed to blurt out before the crying began. "CRYSTAL!" She screamed out from both the pain that shot through her shoulder and calling for her sister even if she didn't know where her older sibling was at the moment. She couldn't remember! And she certainly didn't know how she had started bleeding! "Crystal!" She cried again, her shoulder, screaming from the pain that came from the action and from the horror of seeing her own blood spilling out from between her fingers and under her hand. How had this happened? He hadn't even touched her!
She had been in so much shock and pain that she couldn't react until Logan was already in motion and closing in on the bastard that had apparently caused this all. The one who had brought all of this torture for their own sick pleasure! How dare she! How dare that little brat do this to them!? Even now the tears woudn't stop as Lorili raised her face, no longer hanging her head but glaring with biter hatred towards the girl who was now kneeling in the doorway in a puddle of her own urine. If Trade had it her way, the girl would soon be laying in pieces in a pool of her own blood!
Trade didn't need ot advance on the girl to bring her punishment. No, she would do it from where she stood! Trade took the knife and plowed it into her own shoulder and for once found herself welcoming the pain. Trade then dragged the knife down, recutting the flesh that had closed aroudn it form where she had sent the wound away. She did this after seeing the girl clutch onto the wound. Let's see how long the brat could keep pretending like she hadn't jsut done what she had when pain dragged out the truth from her!
The girl cried out that name again. Trade wondered who she was calling for a brief moment. Backup? Someone else to mess with Logan and her some more? Someone else to destroy the only bond of this level that she had developed with anyone!?! That girl had made Trade do things she had thought she wasn't even capible of doing... Made her hurt Logan like she would have never even imagined doing in the worst nightmare. Trade had killed for less, much less!
Trade stuck out one hand then struck it with the hand that she was holding her knife in. A small yell escaped her as the blade was rammed through the palm of her hand and out the back of it, a small yell escaping her. Even though at the moment it didn't seem to hurt all that much, her body still felt the shock and she was paralized from it for a moment. <Once I can get the guts to rip this knife out from my hand... I'm going to kill that little b*tch with this wound.... I'll send it straight to her evil little heart!> She thought.
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
OOC .. now we should probably have said before now that the moves in this thread are talked over before they happen ... so no god modding decision to suddenly rip Logans guts out! Nope I was stupid enough ti agree to that Alllllll by myself! Soooo ...... Ive left this post as it is Zira..... feel free to pull back or to transfer the wound where you will.... Dont you just love regeneration
........................................
She was on the floor now, pleading, begging for mercy. Logan didn’t even slow. He had seen it all before. They often did that in the end, the ones who hurt him, uselessly appealing to sentiments own their cruelty had driven out of him. After all you reaped what you sowed and this girl had sown havoc.
There wasn’t even any rational thought left in him just rage, stark and ugly, boiling in the blue eyes and the shadowed face. The acrid smell of urine joined that of his blood, the smell of terror. It poured from her, more eloquent than any of the frantic words she threw up as an ineffective defence. "W-w-why is this happening!?" The small part of Wolverine that still recognised speech, laughed coldly. *Because you opened the can of worms in my head that’s why! Like the view?* She was wailing now, the sound thin and piercing like an animal caught in a trap. "I. I don't know how I got here!...." Like he even cared. All he wanted to do was bury his claws in her chest and……
*Stop!* Somehow, something in him struggled to regain control. Not logic, that was long gone, but a sense of wrongness that was as deeply instinctive as the rage itself. It didn’t smell right. He knew this scent even as he knew the name she screamed out. And the image it conjured up wasn’t cruel. Though even that wouldn’t have been enough to hold him back except….. He had made a promise. To his kids, even if they didn’t know it. To himself especially! Not to go down this road again! Not to come around with blood on his hands and a guilt he couldn’t live with seeping into his soul.
And yet it was already too late. Blood was spilt, pain joining itself to the panic in the girls voice as she clutched her shoulder. Wolverine looked down at his claws fully expecting to see them sticking in the wound, the shock jolting him back to something like sanity. But they were still at his side even if his arms ached with the effort of keeping them there. And yet the cut was undeniably there? How could that be?
Oh God! Amber’s wasn’t the only fresh blood scent in the air. The realisation of what was really happening hit Logan like cold water, clearing his head, replacing thoughts of revenge with what really mattered. Stopping Trade from following the same path he had trodden so many times before. Risking losing Lorili in the process.
Shit! That was ultimately what all this was about wasn’t it .Two natures in one body. His. Lorilis. Above and beyond all else Ambers. He had been told, warned about her personality disorder. And yet knowing about it and living through an encounter with her dark half were two very different things. She had pushed all the right buttons and once again he had jumped. Even if this time thankfully he had stopped before things went to far.
Although…. there was a gasp of pain from behind him, more of the sweet salty smell in the air. Logan spun around taking in the knife spurting from Lorili’s palm, the look of pain and desperation on her face. This was far from being over and now he knew there were two innocents to save not one.
“No Lorili, wait.” he cried putting himself between her and her potential victim one hand going protectively towards the cowering Amber the other held up in supplication before him. A mans hands, all claws gone in an instant. Though it may well have been too late!
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explai
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
“No Lorili, wait.” His action and his verbal attempt to stop her was a split second too late as she had already torn the knife out of her hand and was in the process of sending the wound. Her attention had all been on the girl who she had all plans of killing but when Logan had moved in front of the little monster, Trade's attention had flickered to him at the worst of times. It was as if time froze, the couple of seconds dragging on for what seemed like minutes, death's roulette spinning out of sight in the background.
Amber's eyes widened in shock as the man was suddenly going from glaring at her so viciously to protecting her from whatever that white haired person was going to do to her. As Logan collapsed and as the sudden cease in movement came from him, she couldn't handle it anymore. Those same eyes that had been widened so round with fright rolled back to show only the whites before closing as she fainted.
In the back of the mind, Dark Amber was laughing her little butt off. This had been a show indeed. She wished that Amber would have stuck it out a little longer so she could have seen the ending of the drama unfold. She could hear the screams though. The screams were beautiful and she was having a blast filling in the blanks for herself. It would tide her over until Amber decided to wake up again.
Suddenly, Logan fell to the floor. That moment of distraction towards him had made him end up as the final target for the transfer. All of the traces of her murderous intent vanished. She couldn't move, stilled from shock and terror. She could feel where the wound had landed, it had pierced his heart! She threw her knife, it clattering on the floor a distance away, that being the only sound for a moment before her scream pierced the air. She couldn't stop screaming, her hands clutching the sides of her head and her falling to her knees. The screams were mixed in with sobs as she curled down, her forehead near her knees now.
How could she have done it!? Hadn't it been terrible enough that she had been slashing away at him earlier!? She wanted desperately to take the wound back onto her own body, not cating where it might have gone only caring that it would be gone from him and that he would somehow be alive. She couldn't take it back though, her powers wouldn't let her which made her think even more so that she had ended his life.
Her screams continued to pierce the air and she couldn't silence them even if she were thinking straight enough to try. She couldn't care who heard her, her being plunged into horror at what she had just done. Suddenly, it was as if all sound had been cut off from her. Lorili curling up tighter the top of her head sinking to the floor and her arms resting partially there while her hands still clung to the sides of her head. Her eyes were closed tightly and her body shook with muted sobs as she was pulled into the place where her mind conjured up the voice of Samantha laughing at her and taunting her about her having just done what she had to the only person who had honestly sworn not to hurt her and had kept to his word.
She had killed before but it had been different. Even the first time she had killed it hadn't made this much of an impact on her. Lorili didn't know what this feeling was. It was beyond fear and a whole new kind of pain than she had ever thought existed and panick was most certainly in the mixture.
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
There had been many things that Wolverine regretted in his life, so many in fact that he had lost count but this, in the end, despite everything that he had gone through, wasn’t one of them.
He had known what was going to happen as soon as his eyes had met hers. Trade’s! Lorili’s! Yes, surely Lorili’s, snatched back from the darkness even as he fell. It didn’t hurt much , the small bloody flower that blossomed in his heart, oh so effectively bypassing all of his adamantium defences. Not nearly as much as the knife wounds she had made previously.
In fact this felt like peace and that was a rare and precious commodity. So rare that Logan welcomed it, sinking into its waiting arms like a lost child finally reunited with his forgotten parents. At last the relentless pump that drove his life ever onwards had stopped and the world was silent, still, all conflict finally passed. As he had never thought it would be. But no, sadly that wasn’t true! This wasn’t the first time he had been in this sweet tranquil place. Nor was it the first time he would be ripped from it. Though he didn’t want to be! It wasn’t natural. All things had an end ! Why didn’t he?
Because my love you are special!* That voice! He knew it! *Oh god! Michelle!* So close, so real. All he had to do was to stretch out his hand and touch her A human hand! No claws. No mutation. Nothing here to keep them apart! Not even death! *Its not time yet* No! He didn’t want to hear that. It wasn’t fair. Surely they couldn’t ask him to go back again. And yet even now he could feel things pulling him away from her. Duty, friends, children….. Always the children! Even if he never seemed to be able to give them what they needed. Even if they wanted him dead!
Here, finally, where no one but his lost wife could see him Logan wept. For the mess he felt he had made of his life For the wreck that was his family. For all the times his children thought he should have been there for them and he hadn’t been. For letting her die! His love! His wife! Time after time when he had failed! And maybe in the end that was it. He didn’t deserve death. Not after all he had done…
*Hush! Hush! Don’t cry!* A mothers words, though somehow in this place James knew that his mother had never whispered them to him. Even then, so far back in time that Wolverine hadn’t even been a shadow in his mind, she had feared him. And he had known it. No, this comforting too came from Michelle though he knew it couldn’t last. After all it never did.
Regeneration! What a blessing! That’s what everyone thought, wasn’t it? Or at least all of those who took his power at face value. Ok, maybe some of those who had seen him suffer through injuries that should have destroyed him started finally to understand that there was a price to pay but no one truly saw this side of things. Though sometimes he suspected that Kurt may have glimpsed it! After all if there was someone who could even hope to understand the afterlife it would be the elf.
Because Logan certainly couldnt! Unless he was truly damned! Which was all too possible! After all, how could you have killed as he had, without hesitation, without remorse and still hope for redemption? The answer was that he didn’t. So perhaps this was his own particular hell. Like some latter day Tantalus, forever caught between his thirst and the brimming cup.
*Ah Logan that’s not it* So much understanding. As if she had forgiven him for all he had done in the past. * Silly boy* Michelle told him *There’s nothing to forgive. If we hadn’t been so proud we’d have figured that out long ago And that darling is partly why you have to go back. To let the children know that. To realise it yourself. Though for the moment there are other things more important* What ! What could be more important than salvation?
The knowledge hit him hard, like the pain of returning life, tearing him suddenly from peace into blood and violence. God no one should ever have to scream like that! Not even him! And this…. this was someone he cared for….. Wrapping his consciousness around Lorili’s need Logan dragged himself out of death, leaving all memories behind as he came; his necessary sacrifice to the miracle that brought him once again to her side. How it hurt…. A first breath that had nothing to do with the actual injuries he had sustained and everything to do with loss, and then nothing. No hope of redemption. No comforting promise of reunion.
Already he was healing, his oh so persistent heart learning to beat again. *Lorili* It was her suffering that had called him back or at least this time had made some sense of his perpetual resurrection. His eyes were fighting for focus, concentrating themselves on her huddled form. Amber was… hurt yes but ultimately safe… .Whereas Lorili….
She was lying shattered on the floor, all her careful defences blown apart by what had been done to them.The sound coming from her once silent mouth spoke of mourning and death. Logan knew it all to well. It was the sound he had made when he had let Michelle go, finally asking Hank to turn off the machines that had held her in a mockery of life. And for once he knew what he had to do. Jean had done it for him. Holding him until the grief had faded. As if it ever had!
This time though the miracle could be worked. The dead could actually rise no matter what it cost them to do so. And even that memory was fading as he caught her in his arms, touching, holding now as he had never done before. Allowing himself to offer comfort where he could never offer longing. Hey .. its ok… he said rocking her, his fierce hands gently stroking her sweat soaked hair. Clasping her in strong arms that would only let her go when she needed him to! Or when he knew that he should. “No ones dead here. There’s nothing that can’t be fixed**Please god let that be true* Logan prayed *Let me be able to pick up these pieces again and make her whole again*
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explai
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
She jumpped when she felt someone touch her, practically jumpping out of her skin as she uncurled from the ball she had been in. Lorili had never been comforted like this before, being held and rocked and her reaction was to give a choked sob before her arms went around him and her face buried itself into the side of his neck. "Hey .. its ok…" It was Logan! It was really him! His voice... His arms.... His comforting. His hand smoothed over her hair as she continued to cry into the side of his neck. “No ones dead here. There’s nothing that can’t be fixed." She heard him tell heer.
Her crying was no longer because of pure horror and pain but from relief too now. So many strong emotions rolled into one and overwhealming her. She was clinging onto him as she sobbed against him, her hands gripping onto the back of his shirt, one arm over the other side of his neck and the other around his waist. The pain seemed to come back ten fold then along with the horror of what she had done to him. Now that he was up again, now that he was telling her that it was alright, it hit her harder.
At this point she wasn't sure of if this was some terrible twisted dream or not all she knew was that she felt like she was going to go insane. The voices wouldn't stop. Her mother was yelling and laughing at her, tormenting her over what she had just done. Her own thoughts were telling her that it was impossible for him to be alive, nevermind him holding and rocking her as he was. He wouldn't do that. He definately wouldn't do that after she had done such a thing to him. People were just not that forgiving. No one would ever comfort their murderer.
But he was! Why? Why would he do this after what she had done to him!? Was it that girl causing things to happen again? <Please... Please don't let it be that... I.. I can't handle it if it isn't really him... If this is all just fake like everything else had been earlier...> She thought. It felt like someone was gripping her throat in a vice.. a burning one and doing the same thing to her heart. An almost broken sounding sob escaped her and she seemed to shrink in his hold, her face moving from the side of his neck and to where his chest and collarbone met.
Had she lost her mind? Was that it? People didn't come back from the dead. This felt so real though... It was hard not to believe it.. But her nightmares always felt real so how was she to know that she wasn't trapped in one now? The worst of them at that. What had just happened now made all of her other nightmares seem pathetic. She wanted them over this one. Herself being hurt, being torn apart, was something she would rather have happen than her having hurt and killed someone she had grown to feel so close to. She prayed that this was just one big nightmare.
The sobs softened, giving way to trembling and silent tears as she tried to convince herself that this was all in her mind and that she really was asleep. That she would wake up any minute now... but she couldn't wake up. And Samantha hadn't materialized which told her even more that she really was awake. She tried to appologize to him, to say something but nothing would come except for a painful lump in her throat that she tried to swallow away.
Lorili realized that she had been clinging onto him and her grip on him loosened although she found herself unable to let go just yet. The comfort, even if she didn't feel she deserved it, she needed it. Fear came, the fear of him dropping dead again. It caused her to cling to him again and her eyes to widen, tears still spilling down her cheeks and a traumatized look on her face. <Please don't die again!> She thought, feeling cold from the concept of it. Her trembling turned to shivering.
Finally, the comforting started to get its desired result. She started to look calm, her heart slowing to normal and her breathing leveling. Before she closed her eyes, the panic and fear had almost left them completely replaced by a deep sadness instead. She didn't close her eyes because she was tired... It was because she couldn't bring herself to look at him.
Re: Morning Coffee (Logan, D.Amber)
In essence, there are two types of people. They can easily be distinguished by their reaction when waking up as this golden ball we call the sun is rising. One type, if given the choice, will most likely grunt, turn and snuggle into a more comfortable position before resuming what one thing or another had interrupted them doing. The other will cheerfully get up and go about their daily business. Needless to say those two groups are giving each other a hard time when forced to live together.
What many people fail to realise, however, is the fact that there is a third category; one in which a mutant by the name of Ororo Munroe fell. She liked getting up before dawn had even remotely begun painting the sky in shades of orange and purple, which – seeing as that's starting at seven earliest that time of year – meant 5:30 am. A time, incidentally, the mere thought of which made Rogue cringe and, sometimes inwardly, sometimes loudly, let her declare her friend to be 'completely nuts'. Quote.
And still it was such a simple thing to explain, or so Storm thought anyway. There is this time early in the morning when the whole world seems to hold its breath. Silence is never so complete as it is before the dawn, everything waiting for the first light to show, like a signal announcing a new day has come. It was the very moment when the first meek ray of light reached out from beyond the horizon that the African Windrider loved the most, each morning she witnessed come into existence being a treasure, something so utterly pure and fragile, it always reminded her anew of what they were fighting for. Every creature had a right to see the Goddess' creation being basked in the young sun's unspoiled radiance.
This particular morning was no different. Decades of conditioning meant Ororo didn't need an alarm to wake at half past five. She pulled open the curtains, opened the windows to the still dark grounds of the mansion and took a deep breath of this fresh, cool air only early spring seems to possess, much like a refreshing splash of water. Ever the responsible team leader, the white-haired beauty had her com badge always in reach, activating it after her morning routine to tell security she was on duty then. Not that anything really ever happened that time of the day, but one thing being an X-Man was about happened to be realising that 'rarely' certainly didn't mean 'never', the latter being a term that was more and more losing its meaning to them for the simple reason that these days everything seemed to be possible. It wouldn't be before long that she'd find out just how true this was.
The leader of the newly formed obeX had just gathered the smaller gardening tools she didn't keep in the shed and was about to head for her private little garden when the communicator came to blinking and beeping life. Frowning lightly, she wondered who could be trying to get in touch with her this time of the day. This couldn't be good. "Storm?" She listened with growing horror; nodded, despite the other not being able to see it. The first few words had already got her to drop the tools and leave her loft with quick, almost hasty strides. By the time the weather witch had reached the hallways and learned more of the goings-on as security had witnessed them, she had kicked off the ground and was being carried through the corridors at wind's speed. "Affirmative." And she was on her own again.
The guard's report had been a little confusing due to the fact that he hadn't quite been able to make sense of what was happening in the kitchen; still it was enough to make her increase speed once more, glad it was so early in the morning that hardly anybody was awake. It got the risk of anyone walking in on the scene to a minimum. If only she knew what to expect! Her hair, that she had pulled back into a high ponytail, whipping the air behind her seemed as impatient as she was.
It took Storm just about half a minute to get to the kitchen. Having spent most of her life at this place had made its architecture as familiar to her as her own hand, and flying certainly helped to make up for her lack of teleportation abilities. The acid stench of urine mixed with blood's coppery sweetness hit her as she entered, eyes flickering from the familiar figure of Wolverine to the girl he was holding only to be drawn to the one lying on the floor so close to the door. "Logan?" her inquiring voice seemed a little shrill to her, but at this point she couldn't have cared less. It had been a matter of under two seconds to take in the scene but comprehending it was an entirely different thing.
Worry bordering panic was what had tainted her voice, yet the former goddess was none to let the latter take control of her. They had been through worse, or so she told herself although knowing that there very different kinds and shades of what was harmful. Not all of it concerned the physical plane. Ororo kneeled down to the bleeding girl, her simple light caramel dress and the off-white gardening apron giving the whole scenario something so very mundane, it was bizarre. Still, such is the way of the world that people rarely get the chance to prepare themselves for what is to come.
A hand reached out and checked Amber's pulse. She was alive. Now it had to be ensured that she remained among the living. Storm didn't have to look at it in order to hit her com badge, it had long since become an automatism."We need medical support in the students kitchen. Now!" she ordered. There was no time for politeness. The time they would need to get there was negligibly short, meaning it wasn't necessary to risk hurting her more by moving the girl into a safer position. What they certainly didn't need was complicating matters.
Blue orbs switched back to Wolverine, waiting for an explanation. "Are you alright?" Considering his healing factor, that was probably a stupid question, but especially he would know that healed wounds didn't mean there was no hurt. She trusted the clawed mutant, her old comrade in arms and friend, enough to not conclude what appeared to be obvious considering the blood that stained his body. Still, considering their personal pandemonium of telepathic and similarly empowered enemies there was always the danger of mind-control. It was in fact the comforting embrace he shared with the fair-haired student that helped ease, if not silence, that worry.
There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to take over responsibility.
The question remains whether there is also a time when we can get rid of it again.
Nope I was stupid enough ti agree to that Alllllll by myself! Soooo ...... Ive left this post as it is Zira..... feel free to pull back or to transfer the wound where you will.... Dont you just love regeneration
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