Queen of The Haunts
Posts: 5333
(4/8/03 12:38 pm) Reply
Re: My son
Hmm I have no children, But what did he lie about. You can catch him in a lie and ask him alot of questions. and maybe catch him while hes there. Hmm dont know anyone else?
Re: My son
They all go through a faze where all they do is lie. I had it easy with my son. I used my empathic abilities when he would lie. He never got away with it. My daughter on the other had is a little harder, she has the ability to block me. Little B***h. Just keep re-inforcing that it is not ok to lie. I take privlidges away from my kids when I catch them lying.
Re: My son
Here's what Mr. Mom did with his daughter. I sat down and had a good heart to heart talk with her. We also talked often about things like this. First she had to really understand that no matter "How bad" she thought the truth was it was better to get it out so that it could be taken care of. I let her know that no truth could upset me more than finding out that she'd intentionally lied to me about something. I also let her know that when you lie you destroy "trust" and that's very hard to repair because it creates doubt. They've got to understand that we aren't out to "get them" we only want the best for them and to help them to make good decisions. Anyway there's more to it than just this but it's a starting point for ya.
Hope it helps.
katt66 Moderator & Chatelaine
Posts: 374
(4/8/03 10:34 pm) Reply
Re: My son
I talked to Mike about lying.And I told him that lying just creates more of a mess than telling the truth.And that I don't lie to him .And that it hurt me when he lied.And that no one likes a liar that no one trusts them once they find out they lie.Spry when you catch him doing anything wrong weather it is a lie or anything else ask him How many ways did he go wrong? When a kid has to sit and think about that and then tell you it seems to help.Hope this helps a little.
Re: My son
I go through this with both of my kids. My son is a terrible liar and always gets caught. He screws up his story and then stammers for some shread of believability, but by then, I already know and he feels like an ass. Took him a while, but I think he finally outgrew some of it.
My daughter, well....she's more difficult, because she's such a GOOD liar! Dangit! That kid can look you right in the eye, tell a major big one and tell it so convincingly, that it's believable. It's scary. The really scary part, is that it may take a while to catch her....days, sometimes weeks, before the truth gets revealed.
I've always stressed to my kids that if they're honest with me up front.....I'll defend them to the end, but if they lie to me, they're on their own with it. As mentioned above too, let them know that once caught in a lie the shadow of doubt hovers over them until the trust is earned again. And yes... make sure he knows that TRUST is EARNED and once gone, it takes twice as long to earn it back.
That finally got through to my kids after I questioned them relentlessly about a situation and then started "checking up" on their side of the story with their friends and teachers. I think the embarrassment helped a little too. I think this is something that every parent is faced with at one time or another. Hope all goes well hun.
Lead Moderator & Castle Maiden
Posts: 2390
(4/13/03 9:20 am) Reply
Re: My son
THANK YOU all for taking the time to share with me your advice. You are all so wise and your experience will help me on this one. THANK YOU THANK YOU!
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