Personal controversy/ Life experiences
MM,
I wasn't sure where to post this because, it contains a lot of controversal and weird experiences. But after reading quite a few posts, I wanted to share this and see what everyone thought. I've only shared this with about 7 people, in my 23 yrs.
As a child I was abused in all ways possible, this I have no problem talking to anyone about. But since I can remember (and my memory is spotty because of my experiences) I have seen, heard and smelled things that are either non-existant or not noticiable to most. Evan as an adult and Pagan, these experiences bother me. Never have they been malicious but they are unnerving, just the same.
When I was younger, I thought I was crazy, then I thought I might have (sp?) Scitzophrenia (?sp). But I figure that I'm probally not because for the most part I can tell what is suppose to be real and what is not.
example: My husband and I were leaving our bedroom after putting my daughters to bed and a dark form began to apear right before me as I was walking. And I flipped out because they always sneak up on me and this time I had walked through it! Took a good half hour to calm my racing heart. lol
Other Pagans and Wiccans who have met me say that I'm very perceptive and they feel so much energy around me. My husband thinks that I'm sensitive to energies beyond the normal and a lil paranoied.
And then there are my dreams. Haven't had one like this in a few months though. When I wake from dreams I often have physical remenants of them. That fade in two to three hours. Brusies, scratches, etc. It's easiest to say that my mind convinced my body that it was real, or there are the odder things. OBE, and such. I am Pagan but I think with my experiences I try to stick with paths of study that don't rock my personal controversy boat.
The only things I have stuck my nose in that could aggrevate "the boat" is; I'm good at Tarot, cleansing house and home (lol, is a whole other topic!) and.... damn lost the thread of thought! (Am drawing a blank, sorry)
Any thoughts or suggestions, would love to know what you think.
Warm Wishes,
~Sheila
p.s. I have a talent for confusing people! Let me know if I need to restate anything.
May I suggest grounding yourself after doing tarot and grounding yourself almost everyday. I had the same problem with energies, when i get in deep thought or upset lights flicker ect... I know then its time to do grounding work, That is especially important in any pagan study, or for that matter any kind of spiritual work. If you never done it, I do have some great excersizes for you.
Re: Personal controversy/ Life experiences
I ground after Tarot and such activities but I never thought to try it everyday. I will try it thanks for the suggestion and I'm always seeking knowledge, would love to hear of the exercises you have in mind! I've always walked a solitary path, so much of what I know is self-taught.
Re: Personal controversy/ Life experiences
First off, I commend you for your bravery to share your experiences with us. *hugs you*
I think Jenn has given you some great advice. I am new to stuff like paganism, wicca, meditation, etc., but I've learned quite a bit from Jenn and others here at the Castle.
By the way... welcome! I hope that you come back and visit us often.
Re: Personal controversy/ Life experiences
A simple meditation excersize can help you.
Close your eyes take a couple of deep relaxing breaths and release any tension that might be sitting in your body. Imagine switching it off and your third eye closing. Then visualize zipping up the top of your head and say:
Please clear my body
clear my body Please clear my mind
clear my mind
Please clear my soul
clear my soul
Please clear me psychically
clear me psycically.
Re: Personal controversy/ Life experiences
Hugz ImAngelTash
I like this place and I'm a lil strange but yet I am excepted, so I will keep comming back.
Thank you for the meditation excersize, I'm workin on remembering to ground or do exercises such as this one as part of my daily routine. If anyone has any other suggestions besides seeing a therapist (been there), I'm all ears. lol
Re: Personal controversy/ Life experiences
Glad i can help, if you want to ask other meditation questions I would go to our witches kitchen, Kalifire can give you information that sometimes I forget. She has been doing wicca for a long time now.
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Posts: 429
(8/10/03 4:37 pm) Reply
Re: Personal controversy/ Life experiences
You mentioned the lingering physical effects of your dreams. Do you have terrifying nightmares? Do you often dream of being chased? Do you ever dream of monsters or of a dark presence you can't quite name? There is the very distinct possibility that you need to integrate your conscious and unconscious minds. The memories which you can or cannot recall in the conscious realm are probably causing a great deal of stress and contributing to your experiences. In other words, you must try to find a way to no longer play the role of the victim. When you stop being hunted in and by the past and become empowered to create change in your waking life, you will have dominion over the worlds you enter in your dreams. The memories of childhood are the ties that bind you. Remember and release those experiences, and a more peaceful time should ensue.
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