"Why is it that people only realize what they had
when it is lost forever?"

"Never shall I allow myself to show signs of weakness
Neither in front of my friends nor my team and certainly not my enemies"

Again, something had changed.

It didn't seem appear as it had the last time, an important alteration of what, or who, was close to her, but primarily something inside of her body, inside of her multiple mind. All that time, Rogue had struggled to get closer to the surface, yet especially the spirit in power as she guessed had kept her down, had actively blocked her attempts. All of a sudden though, this force standing against hers had vanished and with the disappearance of the blockade, she had been catapulted into a higher level of her mind, closer to the part where thoughts could become reality, closer to where she could regain the control over her body.

There it was, the light - so bright, so promising bright - and around it, there they were, the others, the intruders, the saviors, the enemies. She speeded past them, determined to seize this chance fate had given her. Just a little faster, just a little closer. She could see who it was controlling her body at the moment... and it was this which made her try even harder to increase her imaginary pace. Although Sabretooth seemed inactive at the moment, he was one of the worst to use her form inside the Institute's boundaries. He wasn't just an animal... he was an extremely clever animal driven by unknown malice.

The glow grew ever stronger the closer she came, soon she would be able to touch it and once inside,
she would see,
she would hear,
she would feel
and everything would be so much easier with her lover at her side, giving her the strength and courage she needed to seal away those fragments of minds that she had never invited to stay.

Rogue stretched out a bodyless hand; she could feel the warmth, smell the tempting scent of freedom... then something snapped back in and a wild will stood against her once more, pushing her away from this goal she had been so close to. A soundless scream of frustration accompanied the southern belle as she was thrown back again. Not as deep as she had been before but back beyond the lines of those inhabiting what was her own. Or should be anyway.


When the door closed behind the weather controlling mutant, the Rogue that was Creed saw her chance as come. This young girl left behind as guard - what a ridiculous idea - she seemed distracted, her eyes fixed on something only she seemed to be able to see. The auburn-haired mutant flexed her muscled, readying to leap onto the other when the moment seemed right.

"You might want to have a look around you first,"
How could she have noticed those subtle preparations without looking at the formerly unconscious one? The shock was enough to let Rogue drop all pretendence. Opening her eyes fully, she took a careful look around.

The first thing she noticed was the mirror at her right. The one beside the door. The one Garnet had obviously looked into thus supervising the other inconspicuously.
The second was a mild pressure around her wrists. How could she have been so stupid as to think those X-Men would let her sleep in some corner without taking precautions? Metal bands, faintly resembling handcuffs chained her to what looked like iron pillars. Once examining her surroundings, Rogue noticed there was mainly metal covering the room thus giving the place a sterile look that let it appear like the medical bay it was. Just the smaller, sound-proof version, something Sabretooth could not know.

From what Storm had told her, Circe had a vague idea of what was going on and thus was more than relieved to know that this machinery appearing like a mixture between medieval torture device and clinical instrument neutralized any powers directed at anything farther away from the captive than those few inches he or she was able to move. It hurt to see the one that had become something like a friend to her humiliated like that but then again, this woman with the wild gaze, those clawlike fingers and the astonishing quick healing that had already finished curing those severe injuries Kayel had inflicted onto her... this was not Rogue.

Get out!

Or it had not been until this very moment when the claws became the familiar, human fingernails again. The look was haunted, the eyes large and fearful and her whole form was trembling but with a certainty whose origin she could not explain Aurora knew that the one frantically looking around was Rogue herself. Yet something was wrong with her. The flicker of hope in her eyes that Garnet had seen for the split of a second had vanished shortly after the southern belle had focused on her.

"Garnet, where is he?"
Her voice was a croaked whisper as the southern belle fought the tears that attempted to flow upon the sudden realization of Spike's absence.
How could that be?
How could he leave her in this hour of need?
How could he betray their love?

With what little sensibility she could still find inside herself, she tried to find a reason, tried to find excuses for him. Maybe he had just left shortly to get something to drink? Maybe there was a mission of such importance.... maybe he was out searching for a way to cure her? No matter with what she came up, there was this feeling of a painful void that had occured earlier and was still present which told her the truth. A truth she could not deny for nobody can lie to oneself.

Had she not done everything for him? Had she not stayed at his side when he had been so unstable. She had heard his whispers... but he didn't even seem to hear her screaming. And screaming she did. Not because of what was not, but what was. Garnet had not the chance to reply as Rogue threw her head back, releasing a scream of mere terror. She tried to press her hands against her ears to shut out voices only she could hear but the chains wouldn't let her.

"Leave me alone! Leave me alone!"
The X-Woman yelled those words on top of her voice knowing the battle she had to fight was not to win anywhere but inside her own mind. Yet she couldn't help it. Pure despair in her emerald eyes, she jerked her head from one side to another, banging it against the wall behind her as if that would get the intruders out of it.
Garnet gasped, jumping up from her sitting position to keep the other from harming herself but before she had reached her, something had changed again. A calm look washed away the terror that had dominated before and with quiet interest, the one - whoever it was - investigated her surroundings, taking her time.

Aurora sighed, sinking back onto her chair. What was it she had thought to be able to do? It seemed, whatever there was Rogue needed to do to fully become herself again, was something she could do on her own alone.

"Where is he?"
The tone of her voice had been filled with confused shock, with disbelief and a disappointed sadness that didn't even come close to her own but still had reminded her of what she had lost. Just that Circe knew very well where the one she was longing to see was. But maybe... yes... maybe it was sometimes better to know someone was gone forever than to long for a person you know is still somewhere in this world, yet without having any certainty about how he is feeling, what he is thinking.

As incredibly small as the comfort this thought granted was, it was a step out of this numbing grief. It would take time... a lot of time, to "live normally" again. As Storm had said, chapters like those you don't close quickly; you re-read over and over again until you enventually, hopefully, understood its true meaning and seal it in your heart to be never forgotten but to help instead of hinder you.

"Don’t live in the past, you can’t change it."

Step by step, she would return, the perfect, graceful Aurora Garnet Ferrelle; gradually, her mourning soul would recover. She would fight for it, keeping Aran's last words as the treasure they were to never be forgotten. And she knew, somehow, in her very own way, Rogue would fight as well, getting closer to her aim with every time she returned to power. Maybe they could win together.

For no matter how strong the pain - like everything else - it had to end sometime.
And time was, what they had. Maybe, it was the only thing.

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