|
Toonopolis Fighting World > Toon Television > Smirnov and Porn |
|
| << Prev Topic | Next Topic >> |
| Author |
Comment
|
|||
|
Superhero Posts: 79 (9/27/03 2:08 pm) |
Smirnov and Porn [Fade in to the apartment building in which John Iamnotasuperhero resides. As we zoom in through his window, we see him pacing the floor.] John: This is nothing short of an outrage! “In Soviet Russia, outrage…” John: Damn it, Yakov, will you stop talking about Soviet Russia for two godd¹mn minutes?! [John, whose sanity had been slowly deteriorating since his orphaning, had finally gone insane not a few days past, and was hallucinating that his computer was possessed by the spirit of Yakov Smirnov, Russian comparison comic. Freud’s head would have imploded trying to make sense of this guy.] Yakov: I’m just trying to share my love about my homeland. In Soviet Russia, love shares you! John: This guy is clearly out to defame me and everything I stand for. He’s as cunning as any master villain in the way he goes about it, too. He goes right to the people, through TV! Luckily, he’s used up all three of his LEGAL segments… That might just give me an advantage. Yakov: In Soviet Russia, ideas formulate you! But not here, so what you do is… [We pan out, and switch scenes to Normy. He lies in the middle of a dark, damp alley, a bottle of tequila in his clenched fist. He has a five o’clock shadow, or as much of one as a fifteen-year-old boy can have. He stirs a little, and shakily opens his eyes. He groans once, looks at the bottle he holds, and chucks it to the side(the action is accompanied by a stereotypical cartoony cat’s-rowl). Sidekick rises to his feet, clutching his head.] Normy: Shít, what the hell? Where am I? [He looks at his surroundings, then at himself.] Normy: I gotta get home. [Meanwhile, in the Upper East Side of Toonopolis…] [Raymond Shiftyeyes sits in the library of his gigantic penthouse, drinking red wine and reading, oddly enough, “Penthouse”. He finishes with it and tosses it into the nearby blazing fireplace, and pulls out a copy of the most recent “Gazelle Gazette”. One the first page inside the cover, he sees John’s latest article, “Captain Crunch Dishonorably Discharged for Possession.” At the same time, his own article, “Spooty French Man Convicted of Being a Spooty French Man”, was somewhere in the middle of the paper.] Raymond: That’s it. No longer will I tolerate him taking my job. I’m taking care of him tonight. [He races out of his quarters, and hops into his Volkswagen Düsh Baag. He turns the ignition, and zooms down the street to a destination unknown.] [Meanwhile, back at the apartment…] John: Okay, I think everything’s set. [The door to the apartment slowly creaks open.] “Dude, do we have some aspirin or something?” John: Normy? Normy: Yeah, yeah, it’s me. John: You’re alive! I didn’t think you would come back! Normy: Huh? John: Well, when you were beaten to a pulp and exploded, I didn’t think you would be able to regenerate yourself. Normy: I was WHAT?! Yakov: In Soviet Russia, pulp beats you! Normy: Didn’t the Soviet Union disband, like, ten years ago? Yakov: In Soviet Russia, Soviet Union disbands you! Normy: What’s with the gay guy in the computer? John: You can hear him, too? I thought I was going insane. [Normy stares coldly at John.] John: …Er. InsanER. Normy: You probably downloaded some program again. I’m gonna uninstall it soon. Yakov: In Soviet Russia, if you touch me, I’m gonna send you spam mail!! Normy: Ooookay. Look, I’m gonna go take a shower and hit the sack. You, meanwhile, should practice for your next fight. Have Boris here help you out. Yakov: Your momma! [Normy goes into the bathroom to take a shower, and John is left alone with his computer staring at him.] Yakov: Ya want some porn? John: Do I! [Fade to black.] |
|||
|
<< Prev Topic |
Next Topic >>
|
 Email This To a Friend Topic Commands Click to receive email notification of replies  Click to stop receiving email notification of replies |
|
- Toonopolis Fighting World - Toon Television - Toonopolis Fighting World -
Powered By ezboard® Ver. 7.32
Copyright ©1999-2007 ezboard, Inc.