The holographic projector in the room's center showed what had happened. After having seen it, Rogue simply nodded and more to herself, she said thoughtfully: "Seems that girl's pretty good in judgin'n handlin' difficult situations..."
Before turning to Spike again to hear his reply, a thought occured to the southern belle. Maybe she should suggest Aurora as a member of one of the teams...
Life can be like a stone thrown in the sea. It creates waves, maybe changing something, maybe not, but no matter what it causes, every single wave will disappear into nowhere...
As he went to reply, the mechanical voice erupted around him....it was very Initiative-like...causing the vampire's hazel eyes to explore the room rather nervously.
Then, as the message for Rogue began to show what had happened while she was gone, his shoulders sagged slightly. A light groan escaped his lips before he moved towards a seat and ignored the rest of it as best he could.
He took in a deep breath, which almost turned into a yawn as he dropped into the seat Circe had been using earlier. Leaning back, he watched the southern beauty as she studied what she saw, then he let his eyes gaze across to where he had once been trapped...
"Sorry but ah can't leave ya alone in some room; too dangerous...."
He thought over the words she had said in the halls just before, slowly slipping off into his own little pool of thoughts as Rogue was watching the message.
"So you're like a wolf with a muzzle or something? Can't bite anything?"
In a sense the Faerie was right....but...he could still hurt demons, anything non-human...like faeries, but he'd never!
"I don't trust ya"
He lowered his head slightly, his eyes gazing down towards the floor before him, his face draining of all emotions except for a slight, barely noticeable frown.
"Seems that girl's pretty good in judgin'n handlin' difficult situations..."
Moments past before Spike actually realized Rogue had spoken, but he was too drained from thoughts to be bothered replying. His eyes looked up at her, it seemed a thought came across her before she then turned to face the ancient vampire. She seemed to be waiting for a reply....what was the question again?
"Calm down! Your mother ain't here, no one's gonna kill you and those other two vamps won't come near you if I can prevent it, sugah....You're safe here"
His eyes dropped back down towards the ground, he just mumbled the only thing he could really remember of what she had said.
Spike:"Right Pet....Dangerous."
"Won't let those creepy couple take ya back though; that's all I can promise for now"
He looked off towards the window, then dragged his eyes down to focus on his hands, he could still smell the blood...or was that just in his head? This was stupid....ask her something..anyhting, get start up a topic about something, he had to get his mind focused on something.
His hazel eyes slowly creped up towards Rogue's face.
Spike:"...So....you fly, your strong, your very.."
He hesitated on saying attractive and quickly placed something else instead.
Spike:"..Take charge type of person...any other talents?"
Kane Munroe Master of the Elements Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Emergency Team
Rogue
The Untouchable Southern Belle Co-Leader : Silver Strike Force
Storm
Ororo Munroe Mistress of the Elements Leader : Gold Strike Force
Dryad
Aran'kla Tzho-Quentin Vengeful Sun Worshipper Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Circe
Aurora Garnet Ferell Fiery Shopping Freak Team : Gold Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Posts: 240
(6/20/03 11:18 am)
Re: Spending the Night | So Alone Together
(OOC: Sorry, had to edit my post due to mistakes in Rogue's style of speaking. would you mind editing it as well? sorry!!!)
An amused smile crossed the southern belle's face as she answered Spike's question.
"Yep, 'm pretty gifted... no, in fact ah only got one power. Everyone I touch with my bare skin gets drained oh his powers, memories, virtues and such for a time 'bout ten times longer than the contact" she explained.
"As long as ah possess 'em, that person lacks 'em... most of those guys drop anyway so they don't miss it"
Rogue got a little more serious.
"Every other power I've got... the flying, ma superstrength... like my name says, I'm a rogue - quite some time ago, ah stole'em from someone called 'Miss Marvel'. Wasn't exactly ma fault, didn't know I'd have them forever but on the other hand, at this time, ah didn't care. Been part of a group of mutants pretty contrary to the X-Men back then..."
She hated to think about those times, however, they were a part of her and she had to accept it whether she liked it or not.
A boyish grin lighted her features again as she added jokingly:
"Besides that, ah got the almighty power of charmin' anyone around me with ma godgiven beauty!"
Taking a look at the digital clock the computer was showing, she yawned. "Gee, 's pretty late. A girl's gotta have her beauty sleep or she'll have eye sockets down to the knees"
In an experienced manner, she locked the War Rooms door with her code and instructed the computer to keep the room's temperature on a comfortable level.
"So unless ya got some more questions that can't wait till tomorrow, ah say we take a nap!"
Re: Spending the Night | So Alone Together(ooc-Hehe, I noticed already and changed it before you posted!)
"Besides that, ah got the almighty power of charmin' anyone around me with ma god given beauty!"
Well at least it was a power that was causing him to feel...he stopped thinking for a moment as he realized she was joking...the southern beauty gave a yawn.
"Gee, 's pretty late. A girl's gotta have her beauty sleep or she'll have eye sockets down to the knees"
The vampire offered a faint smile of amusement, which faded as soon as Rogue locked the doors. He knew he was a prisoner before the doors where locked, but he couldn't help feel as if the room shrank and became more restricted.
"So unless ya got some more questions that can't wait till tomorrow, ah say we take a nap!"
A nap? He couldn't sleep in here! It was small and crap and...he didn't really have much of a choice...
Standing, he looked about very nervously, the fact he was uncomfortable was extremely obvious as he moved towards the corner of the room he had seen held captive before.
It was very distressing being held captive again, even though in a sense he wanted to be here...he'd rather it here then back with Angelus.
His eyes continued to stay locked onto Rogue as he leaned back against the wall, his cold arms folding across his chest as he allowed his body to slide down the wall.
There was a reason he wanted to rest there, not because that's where he was held in the icy prison, but because the window was in front of him on the other side of the room. It made the room seem slightly larger when he looked outside the window.
Spike:"You mustn’t touch many people then....sounds lonely."
Closing his eyes, he let the air in his lungs escape threw his cold lips before he remained motionless, his lifeless form once again attempting to fall into a peaceful slumber.
Kane Munroe Master of the Elements Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Emergency Team
Rogue
The Untouchable Southern Belle Co-Leader : Silver Strike Force
Storm
Ororo Munroe Mistress of the Elements Leader : Gold Strike Force
Dryad
Aran'kla Tzho-Quentin Vengeful Sun Worshipper Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Circe
Aurora Garnet Ferell Fiery Shopping Freak Team : Gold Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Posts: 242
(6/21/03 4:33 am)
Spending the Night and Rough Awakening
" 'm sorry... but ah think it's the right thing t'do..."
Rogue said softly at the sight of Spike's discomfort and sat down on the warm floor yawning again.
Spike:"You mustn’t touch many people then....sounds lonely."
Lightly, she shook her head not sure whether the vampire would notice the movement or even the following words.
"Ah got ma friends which helps a lot..."
*... but it's not the same. Sometimes it's too hard to stand* Rogue pushed those thoughts away. She didn't want to bother him with her problems -
obviously, he had enough on his own.
"G'night..." she muttered before letting herself sink on the ground.
A few moments later, she was deeply asleep...
OOC: Jumpin' to the following morning now. Hope it's ok, I could edit it later on...)
"Open up!"
A familiar voice woke the southern belle from pleasant dreams.
"Gambit?" she murmured still half asleep before recognizing it.
Getting up, she cursed herself for not having taken some mattress with her into the room.
*Got soft, gal. There was a time when you were used to sleepin' on the floor!*
"Mornin' Storm" she greeted the windrider with a gruffy tone, unlocking the door.
"Good morning. Apparently you still haven't overcome your aversion against...." Ororo began but Rogue interrupted her being in a bad mood as everytime she was woken up early (which was everything before 10am).
"Oh screw it, will ya?! Gonna get maself a shower, my hair's a mess" she muttered leaving the War Room.
The white-haired mutant smiled lightly, knowing the other didn't mean it the way it sounded. She was used to it.
Silently, Storm sat down on one of the chairs, he forehead partly hidden by a large kerchief suiting the rest of her traditional African clothing.
In a few hours, she would change into her white combat suit but for now, she wanted to look like her people's women.
From time to time, the former goddess needed this to remember her roots...
With a look outside at the clouded sky, she wondered when the vampire would wake up.
Life can be like a stone thrown in the sea. It creates waves, maybe changing something, maybe not, but no matter what it causes, every single wave will disappear into nowhere...
Re: Spending the Night and Rough Awakening
He didn't comment on her thoughts about locking him in the room being the right thing or not, but his mind hovered in thought over her next statement.
"Ah got ma friends which helps a lot..."
...Friends...Spike had friends, Angelus, Drusilla, Willow, the Slayer, they where friends...weren't they? They where always around him.....they never helped him, not really..
"G'night..."
His eyes opened partly as the gazed towards her, watching her drift off into her sleep, he closed his eyes again, returning to his motionless state as he waited for his own restless slumber to consume him.
There was a whisper, faint, but enough to begin to stir Spike from his sleep, everything was warm, even the floor was warm, the air around him, everything....it had a tender feel that was so relaxing..
Movement could be heard about him, doors opening and closing, feet shifting about, he didn't want to wake up, he was terrified of what he'd see...
The thought of waking up in a cell, chained, or worse, stabbed threw with various metallic rods that have long since cooled down. But he didn't feel as if he was in pain...part of him wondered why everything was so cosy...so warm, maybe his death was a nightmare. Maybe he'd open his eyes and he'd in his living room, his mother moving about, dusty rag in hand as she cleaned, a soft melody filling the air as she began humming away.
Spike:"Let me do that...you're not feeling well mother..."
His mumbled half asleep, his eyes slowly beginning to open after he had spoken, but it was so bright, he had to cover his eyes with his hand.
Spike:"Bloody hell.."
He groaned, partly complaining about it being so bright, but as soon as he remembered where he was, as soon as the events of yesterday rushed back to him, the vampire stood up. He was quickly drawn towards the window, it was too cloudy for the rays of light to be harmful, but after endless night, this was almost as wonderful as a bright summer day. He could smell the morning, the scents of the flowers opening up, the moist grass, the leaves of the tree.
There was a golden tint to the clouds as the last moments of sunrise still touched them, Spike's eyes locked onto the sky, refusing to look away even as he spoke.
Spike:"What happens now then?"
He asked the windrider, not really giving her the attention she probably deserved, but finding himself unable to tear his eyes away from the light outside.
Kane Munroe Master of the Elements Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Emergency Team
Rogue
The Untouchable Southern Belle Co-Leader : Silver Strike Force
Storm
Ororo Munroe Mistress of the Elements Leader : Gold Strike Force
Dryad
Aran'kla Tzho-Quentin Vengeful Sun Worshipper Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Circe
Aurora Garnet Ferell Fiery Shopping Freak Team : Gold Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Posts: 243
(6/21/03 3:14 pm)
morning
Storm looked up as the vampire suddenly moved to the window asking her something.
"I believe we'll keep on guarding you in shifts for some time" the weather witch replied thoughtfully.
"However, I haven't talked to the Professor yet about that topic..."
Examining him with her bright blue eyes, Ororo remembered her manners.
"Do you need something? Food, clothes... a shower?"
Life can be like a stone thrown in the sea. It creates waves, maybe changing something, maybe not, but no matter what it causes, every single wave will disappear into nowhere...
Re: morning
The mention of a shower caused him to flinch slightly, his eyes closing to block out the memories, as he tried to respond to the weatherwitch.
Somehow he doubted they where as vicious as Angelus in their bathing techniques. They didn't seem like the group that enjoyed such burning, high-pressured kinda torture Angelus so lovingly calls a shower.
He opened his eyes, gazing down at his shirt before looking outside the window once again, his hand gently pressing against the glass.
Spike:"...I can't eat..."
He let his hand drop and he turned to face the white haired X-Woman as he continued to speak.
Spike:"...They gave me...I'm not allowed human.."
He looked extremely uncomfortable as he was trying to explain about what happened last night. They gave him a mug of human blood, it was nice....but it wasn't allowed! He promised...no human blood...
Spike:"...Do I have to be watched while I have a shower?"
He placed his hand nervously over his chest, the old fading black shirt he wore the only thing stopping people from seeing the healing scares that riddled his body.
Kane Munroe Master of the Elements Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Emergency Team
Rogue
The Untouchable Southern Belle Co-Leader : Silver Strike Force
Storm
Ororo Munroe Mistress of the Elements Leader : Gold Strike Force
Dryad
Aran'kla Tzho-Quentin Vengeful Sun Worshipper Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Circe
Aurora Garnet Ferell Fiery Shopping Freak Team : Gold Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Posts: 247
(6/21/03 4:33 pm)
Re: morning
Ororo tilted her head slightly registering his odd behavior but didn't say anything about it. He was partly insane, that explained and excused nearly everything.
"Of course, you will be supervised all the time" she answered dryly but added at the sight of his discomfort:
"I was just kidding. No, you won't be watched. I will take you to a bath room without windows and guard the door from outside.
Besides, it would not be of any problem to get you animal blood. In fact, this is much easier"
Having another look at his clothes again, she got up.
"And obviously you *are* in need of new clothes. I will get you something later on"
The white-haired windrider approached the door.
"Please follow me... that is if you don't mind taking the shower now"
Life can be like a stone thrown in the sea. It creates waves, maybe changing something, maybe not, but no matter what it causes, every single wave will disappear into nowhere...
Re: morning"Of course, you will be supervised all the time"
He must have looked as uncomfortable as he felt because she seemed to assure him after having said what she had just before.
"I was just kidding. No, you won't be watched. I will take you to a bath room without windows and guard the door from outside"
Spike:"..No windows?"
He seemed to almost dread the idea, but his words where whispered so lightly that all the weather goddess could have seen where the slight movement of his lips.
"Besides, it would not be of any problem to get you animal blood. In fact, this is much easier"
That defiantly took a lot of weight off his shoulders, he was half starved and partly terrified of what might happen if he continued threw the day without feeding.
"And obviously you *are* in need of new clothes. I will get you something later on"
Watching as she stood, he glanced back down at his shirt, nervously stroking the faint wrinkles out of it that had appeared as he slept.
"Please follow me... that is if you don't mind taking the shower now"
Glancing up at her as she moved towards the door, he followed after her, taking one last glimpse of the window before they left the room.
Kane Munroe Master of the Elements Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Emergency Team
Rogue
The Untouchable Southern Belle Co-Leader : Silver Strike Force
Storm
Ororo Munroe Mistress of the Elements Leader : Gold Strike Force
Dryad
Aran'kla Tzho-Quentin Vengeful Sun Worshipper Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Circe
Aurora Garnet Ferell Fiery Shopping Freak Team : Gold Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Posts: 273
(6/27/03 4:23 am)
hurry!(TBC from: Xavier's office)
"Cerebro, locate Storm!" Rogue shouted entering the War Room. There was no time for politeness, especially not towards computers.
Command accepted...
locating...
A few seconds passed. Seconds in which the streaked mutant felt like sitting on burning coal while waiting for a result and if she had been interested in psychology and physics, the odd behavior of time in situations like that would have appeared to her as worth thinking about.
Finally, the electronic voice sounded again.
X-Men member Storm located
A map appeared on one of the screens marking Ororo's position with a small red "X".
Rogue knew where to go to and without bothering to clear the screen, she left again.
TBC: Front Hall - Little sunny for a morning stroll, isn't it? Life can be like a stone thrown in the sea. It creates waves, maybe changing something, maybe not, but no matter what it causes, every single wave will disappear into nowhere...
The doors of the room slid open and Garnet casually had entered it like she had earlier, but in truth, Spike had forgotten how cramped the room made him feel. The room was flooded with light coming in from the open window; it seemed warm and welcoming, so why couldn't Spike enter the room?
He could pick up Rogue's scent from inside, giving him the little strength he needed to step in after Aurora, but every step seemed restricted from the limited space he felt around him. It was odd, he knew the room hasn’t truly that small, he had been in smaller more confined areas before, places much worse then this, so he shouldn't really be feeling so bad..
For a moment he felt the urge to go off into the corner of the room and sit there, yet he decided to try sitting at the table instead. Standing behind one of the seats for a moment, as if still deciding whether he wanted to sit there or not.
With a quiet moan as he placed his left hand over his stomach once again, he pulled the seat out with his other hand and sat down. Folding both his arms across his stomach as he leaned forward and allowed his head to rest on the table, closing his eyes as he slowed his breathing.
Removing his hands from his stomach, he lifted his head and folded them on the table before resting his head back down on his arms.
But he couldn't really sit still, his hands slipping out from under his head and then resting across the back of his head as he thought. His fingers stressfully clutching at the hair on the back of his head, opening his eyes and staring blankly at the table surface his head was resting against.
Was that creature outside really him, he didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to think it possible, that even with a soul he was still so...unchanged..
Sitting up straight, his eyes started darting about the room, desperately trying to find something to distract himself with, but he found nothing worth of interest. All he wanted to do was find a way to get his missing piece, to regain what was stolen from him. But he wouldn't allow Willow to use the same curse Angelus had been given, Spike wanted to earn his soul back.
With a soft growl of anger, he covered his face with his hands and closed his eyes again, leaning forward slightly as his hands travel to cover his ears. Resting his elbows on the table as he returned to staring down at it, he then pulled his hands away and placed them on the table. Leaning forward as he pushed himself to his feet, looking away from where the girl was to avoid looking at her.
He looked about the room once more, Rogue's words about Angelus and Dru not having the right to call them his family where echoing threw his ears.
Spike:"You don't choose family!"
He growled before hiding his face behind his hands once again, weakly sitting back down into the seat.
Spike:"I don't understand, hurtin' people is wrong, killin' them is bad, even if they are bad, but killin' demons isn't bad....what if they can be good? I know Angelus can be good with his soul, becoming Angel, so killin' evil Angelus is murderin' good Angel....everyone is sayin' killin' Angelus is good right? But isn't murderin' Angel, who is inside him, bad?"
The confused vampire looked longingly towards Aurora for answers.
Spike:"It doesn't make sense, not only that, me, I don't make sense, insanity aside there's something else, I feel things, love, remorse, guilt...I feel guilt, vampires aren't meant to feel guilt, it's what makes them....makes us such murderous creatures."
He held out his hands for her to see them, his cold fingers trembling slightly as he showed them to her.
Spike:"Angelus didn't drive me insane.."
He whispered desperately to the girl.
Spike:"..I did it to myself, my guilt did it, and it won't go away. I can't handle it, everything I've ever done, you have no idea...you said you don't care, but I'm not supposed to care either."
Pulling his hands away and placing them on the table in front of him as he looked down at them, they have been shaky since he first saw the other Spike of this world.
Spike:"When the human dies, the demon is born, that's what is meant to happen, so why the bloody hell won't he die? I want him out! I want to cut it all out, I need to cut him out of me!"
The fingers of his left hand began scratching lightly over his heart, he just wanted to rip it out, wanted to rip out everything that hurt. And right now, the only thing that always seemed to hurt was his heart; he was convinced that if he could get rid of that, the pain would stop...
Kane Munroe Master of the Elements Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Emergency Team
Rogue
The Untouchable Southern Belle Co-Leader : Silver Strike Force
Storm
Ororo Munroe Mistress of the Elements Leader : Gold Strike Force
Dryad
Aran'kla Tzho-Quentin Vengeful Sun Worshipper Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Circe
Aurora Garnet Ferell Fiery Shopping Freak Team : Gold Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Posts: 286
(7/3/03 2:59 pm)
Re: hurry!
Psychology had never been Garnet's favorite subject.
In fact she had used most of the time of it back in Bevery Hills to color her fingernails, chat with other girls or flirt... unfortunately as she realized now.
The pure despair Spike was a picture of made her simply feel helpless.
Spike: "I know Angelus can be good with his soul, becoming Angel, so killin' evil Angelus is murderin' good Angel....
everyone is sayin' killin' Angelus is good right? But isn't murderin' Angel, who is inside him, bad?"
Aurora sighed being confronted with something that abstract, pulled one of the chairs closer to her and sat down before she replied.
"Seeing it this way, killing in general is something condamnable since every being unites two sides.
I believe there is a good part, and be it improbably small, in everyone, however, you need to ask yourself one thing: Which side is ruling and is there a realistic chance of having the good side ever dominate?
As long as you can reply to this question with a categorical no, those persons are - to my understanding - to be stopped from harming others, if necessary even by annihilating them.
Angelus might contain Angel, yet this good half of him does only appear if the demon is fought by the human's soul. Now, how high do you estimate the probability that Angelus will ever receive his soul again?"
Spike:"When the human dies, the demon is born, that's what is meant to happen, so why the bloody hell won't he die? I want him out! I want to cut it all out, I need to cut him out of me!"
Circe watched him, emphasizing her calmness as she finally spoke again.
"Do you really want this to happen? You have no soul, yet you feel guilt, you regret your doings which -naturally- confuses you.
If you lose this ability of yours, the demon inside of you will reign again - merciless, brutal, deadly - and slaughter... god alone knows how many people.
So I ask you again... Do you really want this to happen? You cannot become more human than you are now - even with your soul restored, nothing will be changed, since you already are able to feel.
You can still become a true demon ... but there is no guarantee that your human side will not wake up again one day and suffer as now at the sight of your doings.
In order to really live, sometimes we need to go through incredible pain. Do never forget what you did but do not resign simply accepting it"
Silence reigned the room as the ebony-haired beauty ended her speech.
Life can be like a stone thrown in the sea. It creates waves, maybe changing something, maybe not, but no matter what it causes, every single wave will disappear into nowhere...
Re: hurry!Aurora:"Now, how high do you estimate the probability that Angelus will ever receive his soul again?"
Spike:"It depends....as long as he gets back to Lost Angels, Willow could then read the words to the spell and then....he is back."
The vampire whispered, showing how simple it was, yet at the same time, it had taken them so long to get the spell ready, and they needed to read it while he was nearby. Dru had placed a shield around the mansion so the spell could never work if he was inside.
Aurora:"Do you really want this to happen? You have no soul, yet you feel guilt, you regret your doings which -naturally- confuses you.
His body gave a slight shiver as his arms wrap across his chest, his eyes simply staring ahead as he listened to the fiery mutant.
Aurora:"If you lose this ability of yours, the demon inside of you will reign again - merciless, brutal, deadly - and slaughter... god alone knows how many people."
Well...not that many, he wanted to cut out the feelings, not the chip, that'd still be there, zapping him whenever he tried anything bad.
Aurora:"So I ask you again... Do you really want this to happen? You cannot become more human than you are now - even with your soul restored, nothing will be changed, since you already are able to feel."
Even with your soul restored, nothing will be changed...that was so true, nothing would change, because he saw what he was like with a soul, and he wasn't impressed...wait...You cannot become more human than you are now...did she really mean that?
Aurora:"You can still become a true demon ... but there is no guarantee that your human side will not wake up again one day and suffer as now at the sight of your doings."
His eyes looked over at her with almost a frightened stare for a moment before pulling them away and frowning in thought.
Aurora:"In order to really live, sometimes we need to go through incredible pain. Do never forget what you did but do not resign simply accepting it"
...Well he's gone threw enough pain...hasn't he? That's all he's ever truly felt, it's like that's the only feeling he remembers so well.
Spike:"I don't want to be a demon luv, I don't want to be anything of the sort, I just want to be me again, I don't want to simply act like a human....I want to be human. Gettin' a soul obviously won't change me that much, but it might fill the emptiness inside."
It'd take a while for him to truly be able to think over all she said, because she was right, and he didn't want to lose what little he had. Maybe that's why he was so scared of them, what if one day, they just disappear? Leaving him even more empty and alone and nothing but that snarling monster that screams inside of him all day..
Spike:"But a soul is more then feelings, it's a guide, it tells you what is right or wrong, and it makes you all understand what you are doing. But more then that, it takes away the emptiness inside....it takes away the demon, locking it away where he can't hurt anyone. I have to fight it, every day, every minute, I'm always having to fight it, and it's so loud."
He looked back down at the table, placing his right hand over his ear as if to signify the fact even at this point in time he was fighting his inner demon.
Spike:"Sometimes, this feeling comes over me, and I can't control it, it just screams inside of me, and I don't know why it's screaming. But it wants me to scream, it wants me to become an animal, wild, mindless, screaming monster...and I'm afraid of it....of what I might do if I ever grow to weak to fight it off."
He looked over at her, a serious expression worn on his face as he spoke to her, dropping his hand back down and resting it over his stomach.
Spike:"But the thing that scares me most is the fact sometimes I don't want to fight it, I want to give in, I want to scream. Right now, I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to scream and let it all out, everything I've ever held inside, it want to scream it out of me!"
Once again his arms folded across his chest in an attempt to hide his shaky arms.
Spike:"And the frightening thing is, I don't know which part of me is fighting to hold it back, the bloodthirsty demon, or the pathetic poet."
He looked around the room once again before looking back at Aurora.
Spike:"I don't want to lose what I have inside, but I'm afraid they're just echoes of a dyin' man, what if he finally does die, what if one day I wake up and it's not me."
Placing his fingers over his face, simply allowing them to explore his human features, he barely remembered what he looked like. Seeing his other half wasn't the feeling of looking into a mirror for him, it was looking at a complete stranger, he barely recognized himself. He was used to seeing his face staring back at him with short wavy light brown hair and his eyes hidden behind small golden-framed glasses.
Spike:"When I change, when I become the demon, everything feels so distant, that feeling, that screaming inside feels so strong. But the only thing I feel is anger, rage, I lose myself into the demon and sometimes I can't even control what I'm doing."
After a moment, he seemed to grow completely distracted with thoughts of another nature, almost entirely losing track of what he had been telling her. It was as if talking about losing control over his actions or becoming a demon had reminded him of his home.
Spike:"What's England like here? Is England still around? We don't have an England in my world anymore, they destroyed it....I miss it so much...that's where I was born...and died...and was born again...it was my home.."
He frowned for a moment, closing is eyes as he thought.
Spike:"I had a home there, but something happened, something bad, but now...he made me forget, it was really bad, I know it was really bad, and it's still hurtin' me."
He looked over at Aurora as if she might have yet more answers, yet how could she? Even he wasn't sure about what he was feeling or what he's done.
Spike:"I'm so guilty over something I can barely remember, and part of me doesn't want to remember, but it's drivin' me insane, what did I do? What did I do that was so bad and hurt me so much every time I think of home I want to rip someone's throat out and scream and throw things?"
He looked back at the table, not expecting her to answer, really he was just saying whatever popped into his mind, he was just thinking and talking at the same time. When he had asked Judas to close the door that he'd open into Spike's mind, he only meant to stop the illusions, but he could barely remember anything of that day now. Although he had a feeling he didn't want to remember, he never wanted to remember what happened back then, but whatever happened it was bad....so he should remember so he knows never to do it again.
Kane Munroe Master of the Elements Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Emergency Team
Rogue
The Untouchable Southern Belle Co-Leader : Silver Strike Force
Storm
Ororo Munroe Mistress of the Elements Leader : Gold Strike Force
Dryad
Aran'kla Tzho-Quentin Vengeful Sun Worshipper Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Circe
Aurora Garnet Ferell Fiery Shopping Freak Team : Gold Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Posts: 287
(7/4/03 7:36 pm)
Re: hurry!
Circe had listened carefully, quietly... thoughtfully. Still trying to find an answer to his other questions - part of which he hadn't even said aloud, she decided to reply to the easiest one first.
Spike: "Is England still around?"
"Yes, we do have England in this world" she said not knowing what else to add concerning this topic.
Spike: "Right now, I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to scream and let it all out, everything I've ever held inside, it want to scream it out of me!"
"Then..." she began remembering his words "why do you not do it? If I am feeling unable to hold back frustration, anger or despair, I find myself a silent corner where nobody can hear me and simply scream"
The material girl smiled a little. "It appears insane to innocent, shocked people who happen to pass by but..." A shrug implied that she didn't care much about their opinion.
"However, I think I understand what you mean. You can only stay as you are now if you fight an infinite struggle with that other half and a soul would do this for you. Now, in all honesty, I do not know how to restore a soul but our world's Spike has his - if I got you right - so asking him might be a good idea.
If you really want it, you should try everything to reach your aim, shouldn't you?"
The smile appeared again as the fiery mutant tilted her head slightly.
"Besides, I could take you to an island nearby where no one would be able to hear your screaming... and yes, I am totally aware of the fact that this sounded like a threat"
Life can be like a stone thrown in the sea. It creates waves, maybe changing something, maybe not, but no matter what it causes, every single wave will disappear into nowhere...
Re: hurry!Aurora:"Yes, we do have England in this world"
A look of longing appeared in the vampires eyes as he looked towards the window, he'd love to see it, love to smell the fresh English air. Maybe he could find out about what happened to him there, maybe someone would have a record of him, or his family, was there any decedents? Or was he the last of his family? He'd never thought of that before..
Aurora:"Then.....why do you not do it?"
The vampire looked over at her with puzzlement for a moment, a confused expression appearing as he thought over the fact she'd actually suggest for him to break down and scream.
Aurora:"If I am feeling unable to hold back frustration, anger or despair, I find myself a silent corner where nobody can here me and simply scream. It appears insane to innocent, shocked people who happen to pass by but..."
With a faint smile as she gave shrug, the old poet couldn't help but feel more at ease after hearing that even humans could feel the urges to scream. It'd been so long since he was human he couldn't remember what they felt, all he remembered was being in love with a person who had said he was beneath her...well if he wasn't beneath her then, he was defiantly now.
Aurora:"However, I think I understand what you mean. You can only stay as you are now if you fight an infinite struggle with that other half and a soul would do this for you."
Leaning forward, placing his arms on the table as he did, it was strange, no one had ever paid so much attention to what he had said. But the fact she was understanding what he was saying as well as simply listening, she was also replying to him, no one had ever talked to him, not like this.
Aurora:"Now, in all honesty, I do not know how to restore a soul but our world's Spike has his - if I got you right - so asking him might be a good idea."
Either did he, all he knew was the curse, and he didn't want to be cursed, because then he'd have to forever be without happiness, because then he'd lose the soul. He couldn't handle that thought, finally getting it and then being too afraid to feel anything because it might slip out of him.
But the thought of talking with this worlds Spike almost frightened him, he wasn't sure why, but something about that Spike made him...angry, disappointed...and scared.
Aurora:"If you really want it, you should try everything to reach your aim, shouldn't you?"
With a frown as he thought, he then gave a look of determination as he looked back at Garnet, studying the unseen glow that radiated from deep in her eyes.
Aurora:"Besides, I could take you to an island nearby where no one would be able to hear your screaming... and yes, I am totally aware of the fact that this sounded like a threat"
It seemed at first he didn't really pay attention to her last comment, thinking more over her previous words with great thought.
He placed the palm of left hand on his shirt over his unbeating heart, and on top of that the palm of his right hand rested over the back of his left hand.
Spike:"I do want it.."
He whispered as he looked away and focused down on the table, pulling his hands away from his heart he then staring down at them.
Spike:"But I want to earn it, I don't want a curse put on me, I don't want some spell, I just want the soul, no loop holes, no threat of losing it if I become too happy, I want it back and I want it to stay."
Yet again he seemed to grow distracted as he looked back at her, a look of surprise appearing on his face as he spoke with a shimmer of hope in his voice.
Spike:"You'd take me somewhere? No one will hear me? That's not a threat, that's a dream, I scare people when they hear me scream, and I don't want to scare anyone. Somewhere they wouldn't be able to see me, I'm afraid of what might happen. I don't want Rogue to see me like that...I don't want any one to see me like that.."
He frowned, thinking over all the terrible possibilities that could happen if he lost control while surrounded by these people. Then he thought about the fight, about Angelus and what might happen if Angelus found him outside the school, then something struck him.
Spike:"I shouldn't be here anymore.."
He whispered in realization as he looked back towards the window, staring at the rays of light that poured in.
Spike:"I was in the light....and it was warm. I should have burned and turned to ash, melted away, but I didn't...everything was bright, and the sky was golden. It smelled nice, I could smell the sunrise, everything was alive, the grass, the trees, the people...they all glowed...and I saw all of it. I wasn't in the shade, wasn't hidden in the shadows or in a building, I was out there, I was out in the light and it was amazing.."
"Aurora? Did something happen? Oh and you call me Ororo if you like"
Although knowing that the weather witch wasn't able to see her, Garnet nodded automatically.
"Well then, I will. However, nothing happened, I would just like to request something: May I take William out for a flight for...say, 30 minutes or an hour? It would be highly appreciated"
"Yes, I think an hour would be alright. Just make sure to be back until then... and be cautious
I just have one thing as a condition: Rogue will come with you... just in case
The soft humming that had been in the air since the transmission had started died away and the ebony-haired mutant turned to Spike.
"I believe you overheared everything?" she asked approaching the door. "Ah, there she is"
Landing in front of the door gracefully, Rogue glanced at the two. "Alright, where're we headin'?"
"There is a smaller island just a kilometer out in the sea my father once told me about. They were trying to establish it for touristic uses but since there is hardly anything, it did not pay the bills. Nowadays, nobody lives there anymore... which is why it is perfect. I call it Project New Age Therapy, let's go!"
Not having any idea what the fiery mutant was talking about, Rogue just shrugged.
"Just one thing... how're we supposed to get there with our livin' torch here?"
"Oh no, I totally forgot..." Aurora began but as her eyes flickered aimlessly around again, something caught her attention. The clouds were behaving... odd.
A small laughter of relief sounded as she pointed out of the window.
"Seems like Storm was a step faster"
Life can be like a stone thrown in the sea. It creates waves, maybe changing something, maybe not, but no matter what it causes, every single wave will disappear into nowhere...
Re: hurry!
Watching as she began to operate the intercom, once again the sight of the computer sparking his interest as she began speaking.
Aurora:"...I would just like to request something: May I take William out for a flight for...say, 30 minutes or an hour? It would be highly appreciated"
His posture straightened instantly, his eyes locked on the girl almost in disbelief.
Storm:"Yes, I think an hour would be alright. Just make sure to be back until then... and be cautious. I just have one thing as a condition: Rogue will come with you... just in case. She will arrive soon. Watch out! Storm end"
Rogue was going with them? ..They where going somewhere? Where was she taking him, was she serious? He didn't think she was serious, he didn't think she'd take him out!
Aurora:"Thank you. Circe end. Computer, cut the connection"
Looking about the room, his mind racing with thoughts as Garnet turned about and looked at him, his eyes returning to her with uncertainty.
Aurora:"I believe you overheard everything? ...Ah, there she is"
Before he could muster a reply, there was movement outside, Spike turned his body around slightly in his seat so he could see Rogue standing at the door.
Rogue:"Alright, where're we headin'?"
The vampire's eyes darted anxiously from one mutant to the other, where were they going? Where were they taking him? What if something went wrong, what if he did something bad, what if he hurt them, what if.....what if something bad happened..
The vampire's fingers wrapped tightly around the back of the seat, he focused solely on his breathing, only partially listening to Garnet talking to Rogue.
Aurora:"There is a smaller island just a kilometre out in the sea my father once told me about. They were trying to establish it for tourist uses but since there is hardly anything, it did not pay the bills. Nowadays, nobody lives there anymore... which is why it is perfect. I call it Project New Age Therapy, let's go!"
He had lowered his head as she spoke, so once she was done he lifted it up again, looking over at Rogue, his eyes travelling over her body for a moment as she talked with Garnet. But he had quickly torn his gaze from her, lowering his head once again.
Rogue:"Just one thing... how're we supposed to get there with our livin' torch here?"
He looked up at her sharply, a frown easily seen and not even attempted to be hidden, who was she calling a living torch? He wasn't even flammable by sunlight! ..Well...he didn't appear to be bursting into flames when he was outside before.
His grip on the chair seemed to tighten, that urge to scream seemed to double, he could feel the lump in his throat, the scream that demanded to be released. But he had to hold it, he wouldn't yell at her, he couldn't, he'd prove to her he was more then a bloody living torch!
Aurora:"Oh no, I totally forgot..."
Tilting his head as Garnet seemed to break out into a gentle laughter as she looked towards the window, he followed her gaze and stared at the clouds emotionlessly.
Aurora:"Seems like Storm was a step faster"
Standing to his feet he stepped away from the table, but turned about and grabbed hold of the chair he had been sitting in, gently pushing it neatly back into it's proper place. His eyes lingered on his arms as he raised them once again for his eyes to study, looking at both sides of his arm silently. The scars where almost gone, they where so faded he could barely see them, he rubbed the palms of his hands over his chest as if they where sweaty before turning around.
He looked from Garnet to Rogue, but his eyes lingered sadly on Rogue before he allowed his gaze to drop down to the floor. 'livin' torch'...
His fists clenched tightly, as did his jaw, but like always, he simply buried it away deep inside where it couldn't hurt any one. After a moment he slightly relaxed again, though his jaw was still tightly clenched, he continued staring at the ground, not willing to move until they asked him to. He wasn't going to do anything unless they told him he could, he didn't want to risk doing something wrong, he was simply going to do as he was told to.
Kane Munroe Master of the Elements Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Emergency Team
Rogue
The Untouchable Southern Belle Co-Leader : Silver Strike Force
Storm
Ororo Munroe Mistress of the Elements Leader : Gold Strike Force
Dryad
Aran'kla Tzho-Quentin Vengeful Sun Worshipper Team : Blue Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Circe
Aurora Garnet Ferell Fiery Shopping Freak Team : Gold Strike Force Co-Team : Recovery Team
Posts: 290
(7/4/03 7:27 pm)
re
(OOC: *lol* Gee, that's some touchy vamp you got there, Angie! Anyways, I propose some limbo time for the three like having them disappear to that island and returning later on without actually writing what's happening...
What d'you think? We could do some flashbacks together later on though... oh, and since I don't really have time now, you can NPC Circe+Rogue if you like. I thought about having only 2/3 of the island in the area which Storm is able to cloud... meaning 1/3 is sunlit...
so come to think of it, if you would like to actually tell what happens there [for character development or such], don't hesitate. e.g. Rogue is VERY likely to do some sunbathing and this might be some great reason for Spike to sit down and... mope)
Re: re(ooc-That sounds like a great idea with part of th island still flooded in light! I think we could do a few posts for character development with that. It'd give me a chance to build up Spike's desire for Rogue
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