Thursday March 29th: Surrender to Immortality8.30pm
For the moment it was quiet, and for that Jean felt herself grateful, a moment alone, that’s all she had asked of Hank, and he was all too happy to oblige, though perhaps it was Hank who had needed a moment alone with her. It was the first time in a good long while really since Jean had spoken with their resident vampire; to say he was different... it couldn’t be any more of an understatement. When she had first seen him, the very first time her powers were requested to shield his mind, he had been volatile, his loyalty questionable, his mannerisms wild. And yet now, as she stood beside the bed he had chosen to sit upon, his shoulders hunched and his legs pulled up, those arms that had often once been seen draped about Rogue now rested over his knees. There was so little of the vampire Jean had first met, and so much more of the human he must have once been, and yet now that was never so true as this very moment. There were so many secrets the telepath was now privy to, both ones Spike willingly shared and those she couldn’t help by see drifting along the surface of his mind, for once Jean could see what lay beneath the demonic visage that had blinded her for so long.
A slender hand reached out and carefully touched his shoulder, though Spike made no effort to register the connection, Jean didn’t mind, he’d been through a lot this morning, he’d had no choice but to tell her more then he’d likely have wanted. She had to know what she was protecting him from, she had to know what she was faced with, she had to get inside his mind and fight off the female vampire who had taken to it like her own personal playground. It almost angered the psychic, the same entity had attempted to do just as much damage to Arisa, a girl she considered her niece after all these years, a family member, a part of the X-men’s family, and now she had realized it was more then just Arisa this vile woman was trying to torment. It was hard to be upset with him though... when she had demanded reasons for why he hadn’t come earlier, the truth had touched her, his concern over her own wellbeing during her husband’s ill-health had stopped him from wanting to overwhelm her... Still, she should have known, it would have saved so much hassle, just to think that he actually was concerned for her... it never occurred to Jean just how much a part of the X-men this being had become.
"I will need a moment alone with Hank," It had been a very long time since Spike had heard a tone of voice so motherly and comforting, concerned for the welfare of those about her, and part of him felt longing for the mother he had left behind so many years ago. Quietly Jean’s slender form had turned and headed for Hank’s office, her hair flowing free about her shoulders as flaming red as in her youth. It had been a strange moment for her when the first grey hair had shown itself, and yet when while she had joked so few years ago that she was bound for wrinkles and snow coloured streaks, it seemed however little more had happened since then. Jean had joked it was all the crime fighting, leaving them with little time to age, though of all of them Rogue had been least touched by time due to her contact with Logan that absorbed a great deal of his regenerative abilities. It was definitely one way to save money on anti-wrinkle cream. At first the passing years had started to worry Jean, and yet Scott always managed to sooth her concerns, telling her it didn’t matter how old she got, how wrinkled or grey or forgetful she became, because he loved her and would always love her and would be aging beside her every step of the way... if only that were true.
"Hank..?" The red head pressed the palm of her hand against his door, her emerald eyes peering over the room that after all these years left her with a difficulty to picture anyone else within this office. There had been times for every member of the X-men that people feared they might lose one, and Jean found herself lately imagining how the loss of her friends would affect her... thoughts the powerful mutant wished would be ignored by her mind. "I had not realized the things Rogue had seen in him, but now I think I do... and I feel sad that it took something like this for me to see how much he cared for all of us," There was a soft, yet sad, smile with her words, Jean’s delicate form dressed in a feminine suit of light grey colour, the deep v-neck of the jacket allowing her white shirt to be clearly seen beneath. There were things Hank needed to know, she could sense it the moment Spike and her had entered medbay, the need was obvious... was Spike ready, was Spike capable of deciding, all his thoughts had screamed at her, and yet Jean would allow Hank to ask the things he wished to know, sometimes it was better that way.
So this time it was actually going to happen. The transfusion that would take Spike’s new found humanity from him. Hank found it hard to believe even as he mentally ran through, for at least the twentieth time, all the medical preparations that he had set in place to achieve just that. Provided he was convinced that Spike really wanted it done that was. And that, the furred mutant thought wearily, would very much depend on what Jean had to say.
Thank god they had her powers to call on at times like this! Not even the best psychiatrist could have been expected to get to the truth behind Spike’s seeming madness, never mind actually cure him. Strange, Hank pondered, how the fact that some evil vampire ghost had been responsible for Spikes torment could actually be seen as good news! Since when was it good to know that a friend was being tortured by a sadistic maniac? Never! And yet the doctor couldn’t help but be relieved to discover that some outside influence had been pushing the vampire towards the edge of folly. It meant that perhaps this decision.. surely one of the most important in Spike’s long and troubled existence…. could be made in an informed manner.
And that in the end was all that a doctor such as himself could ask. Oh he could have refused from the outset to even contemplate such an intervention. He could have clothed himself in the righteousness of his oath. Do no harm! Easy to say! Harder to accomplish. Impossible in this case! Whatever he did something was going to be damaged. Do the transfusion and Spike lost, in the strictest sense of the word, his life. Refuse and he lost something which was equally precious. His ability to be with the woman he loved.
Last time they had met Spike had been in no condition to assume the weight of such a decision. And it certainly wasn’t Hanks place to assume it for him. So it was with a certain amount of trepidation that Hank greeted Jean’s appearance at his door. Would she have the answers he needed to hear? Or would this procedure have to be pushed back yet again or even cancelled altogether.
Still she didn’t look particularly worried as she stepped into his office. Concerned yes.. And slightly sad. But then again that sadness was a permanent shadow in her eyes these days. But not worried as such. "I had not realized the things Rogue had seen in him,” she told him unexpectedly but now I think I do... and I feel sad that it took something like this for me to see how much he cared for all of us,”
“Spike has indeed come a long way since he first came to the Institute“ Hank answered softly And now it is our turn to prove that we care for him. Is he ready for this Jean? Truly ready? It was the question she had been waiting for no doubt and the only one he needed really to ask. Because if not…. Then as both a doctor and a friend I cannot go ahead. But then you already know that don’t you?
Re: Thursday March 29th: Surrender to Immortality"Spike has indeed come a long way since he first came to the Institute" There was a smile from Jean, though what some of their students had gone through she was surprised there hadn’t been more complaints by those who knew what he was and what he had done back then. Though Riley had never seemed impressed when discussions of the vampire came up, the Head Mistress did notice that he submitted to the fact it seemed to be what the school staff as a majority had agreed to. It didn’t stop her wishing he would talk to her about it... about something, anything. Some students were very closed, but few teachers were, and if Riley really wanted to be part of the staff he would have to be more open with them. There were a few students Jean had her eyes upon these days, Racheal Felis seemed always so troubled and torn... as a new student perhaps Jean should have made more attempts to speak with the girl, thankfully McCoy had managed a talk or two.. but still. Thoughts swirled for a brief moment regarding all the students she felt she was falling behind with, all the students she really needed to see at some point and soon... Hank’s continued words pulled her focus to the current person who needed both their attention at this moment.
"And now it is our turn to prove that we care for him. Is he ready for this Jean? Truly ready? " Could anyone truly be ready for this? Jean wondered, and unlike most, she could see the struggle beneath the calm exterior, but n top of that, she could see more reasons for his desire to make this happen. "Because if not…. Then as both a doctor and a friend I cannot go ahead. But then you already know that don’t you?" For a moment, just a moment, Jean looked slightly troubled, her thoughts torn on different answers as she thought over them, and yet realized that Hank may take her silence as uncertainty. So instead, she spoke her thoughts.
"If we could become.. just ordinary... without powers or abilities or any differences, if you could be free of it all... would you?" A loosely closed fist raised to Jean’s chin, resting against her face in a moment of thought, "To give up all we have become.. to be thrown back from the front lines and never fight again, it might be a dream we’ve all had.. but given the chance would we take it? When we think of all we shall lose if we do... the people.. the way we live.. everything we stand for right now, everything we fight for.. we wouldn’t really be able to continue any of it if we weren’t who we are right now," Of course Scott would love Jean no matter what, be her mutant or not, and yet Hank? Everyone knew his partner was anything but ordinary herself, would she handle the change in him? Would he even handle her if he were human? And their students, whenever they were caught in a mess, how would they honestly feel to know they were helpless to aid them. Was being normal, after a lifetime or more of being different, really worth it?
"I saw terrible things inside of Spike’s mind Hank, things that make me understand why he is... things that make me mad at him for doing, followed by things that would have me cry for him," It was so hard to see one being go through so many phases, so many personalities.. and yet of all people Jean could understand what it would be like to have your body taken over and controlled by something so powerful and dark. "I also saw why Spike is afraid of being helpless again... his failure haunts him to this day and we've all seen glimpses of the pain this brings him. My answer to you would merely be... would we not give our lives to protect the ones we loved if we thought it would make a difference?"
Re: Thursday March 29th: Surrender to Immortality
It was a question that he had never thought she would have asked him. Not him, above all others. Not given the pain his mutated form had brought him over the years. The rejection! The isolation! All his own fault he had to admit. But perhaps all the harder to bear for that! And so it caught him by surprise when she said. "If we could become.. just ordinary... without powers or abilities or any differences, if you could be free of it all... would you?"
Yes. Selfishly, deep within his soul, no matter what his devotion to the mutant cause, he suspected that his answer would have been yes. Before Zia that was. Before the one in a million chance that had brought her into his life.
And yet the questions Jean raised were as valid now as they had been back then. Back when he had tampered with own his genetic structure in able to become stronger. Faster. Better. More able to affront the enemy who threatened everything he had held dear. Was this truly what it was all about though? With Spike? The need to be able to defend those he cared for?
It had to play its part. That much the doctor was willing to admit. The role of the warrior! As difficult to assume with Rogue as it was with his own warlike partner.
If he himself had stepped down from the front line, would it have cost him so dearly nowadays? Once again, until the arrival of his volatile mate, he would have had to have said no. Because he had already done so.
He effectively had a career that took up the majority of his time. Two careers in fact! Doctor and teacher. Both important! Both a means of contributing to the struggle! And neither of which that Spike had at his disposal.
But then again Spike had had to redefine himself entirely when he had come into possession of his soul. And if he had done so as a protector of all those he held dear, then what could Hank do other than approve? He would have done as much given the circumstances. Indeed he already had.
Somehow though this very sense of protectiveness that he had fostered within himself welcomed the confirmation that Jean’s words brought to him "I saw terrible things inside of Spike’s mind Hank, she told him things that make me understand why he is... things that make me mad at him for doing, followed by things that would have me cry for him,"
It was enough. It was more than enough. It confirmed Hank’s own instincts in ways which made him ashamed of the need of confirmation. If Spike hadn’t been a vampire would they even have been discussing this?
Yes! And that in itself was a revelation that brought the doctor some kind of peace. The institute had been set up as a haven, a welcoming place of all who sought refuge there. Mutant or otherwise! Without prejudice! In theory at least!
Vampires though… Hank had to admit that that was hard to come to terms with. On one scale at least! But the institute was, no matter what, willing to try.
Prejudice may have been checked in at the door. Prudence however was always attentive. No matter what the nature of the arrival. Spikes admittance to the institution had been approved by Rogue and that had to count. But it was in the end his own actions, his own heartfelt desires that had won him the place he occupied today in the institute.
It was the X man he had become that Hank had been trying to protect. The man he had seen behind the madness. Perhaps not as completely as Jean had but enough to know that this love he felt for Rogue was far from being a figment of his imagination. As was his devotion to this new home he had found at her side.
So the mutant doctor smiled sadly as he replied“Ordinary? Helpless? That is something that neither you nor I nor Spike could never become. Even if we did relinquish our powers! Precisely because we all have those things inside us! Terrible things. Wonderful things! Things that have made us who we are today!*
‘That which does not kill us makes us stronger.’ Or so Nietzsche believed. Hank wasn’t so convinced! He had seen people broken so badly by life that nothing could put the pieces back together again. Others emerged from trauma like fine china, ready to fracture at the next shock. But it was also true he had to acknowledge, that there were those who, like swords, were tempered in the fire. Transformed, yes! But for the better! And for him to do this procedure he had to know that Spike was one of those. That he had passed through the flames and come out able to make this decision through strength and not through weakness.
And so he asked again, needing to hear the words that would set his feet on a path he had never though he would have to tread. “Have those things made Spike strong enough to do this? Or have they made him too weak not to? That is what I need to know Jean.Because this is hard for me. Not as hard as it is for him.. but something I will have to live with for the rest of my life all the same.
Re: Thursday March 29th: Surrender to Immortality"Ordinary? Helpless? That is something that neither you nor I nor Spike could never become. Even if we did relinquish our powers! Precisely because we all have those things inside us! Terrible things. Wonderful things! Things that have made us who we are today!" Was that true? Because right now, Jean felt nothing but helpless by her dying husbands side, and no amount of power bestowed upon her would make up for that hole inside of her. Like many of the students, Jean too had wished at times to be anything but who she was, and at other times she would give nothing for things to remain just as how they were. "Have those things made Spike strong enough to do this? Or have they made him too weak not to? That is what I need to know Jean.Because this is hard for me. Not as hard as it is for him.. but something I will have to live with for the rest of my life all the same." For a moment it appeared as if Jean had the very words on the tip of her tongue, though as she was about to speak up, her voice was lost. A glance over her shoulder sparred her with a moment of peace as the telepath's gaze tried to stray towards where Spike was.
"He doesn't know, he has tasted food and love as a mortal man, he wants to think it doesn't matter but he knows it does," There was a pause, before her green eyes once more returned to her old friend, she was probably making this harder then he would like, harder then was fair and yet she had no true straight answer that could make either of them happy. Spike was confused yet focused, and maybe she could explain that focus for Hank to understand. "But if he took this life and made it his, he would not live it, he would grow to think of it as a curse, and that he knows without a doubt," A hand brushed some hair aside, tucking the fringe behind her ear and mulling over her thoughts as she spoke slowly. "He... has thought of this, for all the reasons why he should be as he was, and what he will lose.. he needs you to do this for him Hank," The long time team mate drifted closer towards the Doctor, offering a small smile, "He wants this Hank.."
"But he fears the thought that you will tell him he can either stay as he is, or become what he was before he gained his soul," Again she wondered if any of this helped him, if she was struggling to explain what Spike considered to be a choice that had left with bewilded and confused and almost desperate. "He's made his choice, I can't put his thoughts to word, they twist and wind and scatter and yet all focus on this one thing... this is something he is sure about, something his heart is fighting for,"
Re: Thursday March 29th: Surrender to Immortality
He needed her to smile and tell him everything was all right. He needed certainty. But he wasn’t naïve enough to even begin to think that he would get it. Nor, Hank realised, no matter how much it hurt, did he really want Spike to give up this unlooked for humanity without a second though. . Yes it would have made things easier, for all concerned that much was obvious. Whatever was done or not done today would result in sleepless nights and unanswerable questions for everyone of them, those inevitable ‘what if’s? that life threw at you all to often, especially if life and death decisions were placed in your hands. And this was just that. A life or death decision! Which meant that it couldn’t be taken lightly. Not by him. And certainly not by Spike!
So though it made his own position more difficult Hank more or less expected Jean’s answer to be less than clear cut.He would have been worried if it had been. "He doesn't know,” she confirmed softly he has tasted food and love as a mortal man, he wants to think it doesn't matter but he knows it does," Of course it did. That was the whole point. Indeed if Spike hadn’t believed that then Hank would have been convinced that his mind hadn’t fully recovered. This was hard. It had to be hard. In order to truly give something up you needed to know what it was worth. And thankfully it sounded as if Spike did.
Still, now came the moment of truth. Would Jean be able to convince him as a physician that he should do this procedure? It was, in medical terms, an amputation of unprecedented proportions. The equivalent of a brain surgeon consenting to do a frontal lobotomy in order to relieve a patients unbearable headaches or an oncologist removing a woman’s breasts because of the threat of some potential but as yet undeclared cancer! In order to take up the knife you had to know that the patient was ready to take that step. You had to know that their life would be unliveable if you didn’t. Otherwise you became some sort of unfeeling butcher ready to cut and slice simply because you knew how.
Hank wasn’t ready to do that. Not now. Not ever. And so he waited for Jean’s reply and prayed that when it came it would give him his answer. One way or another. "But” the red haired telepath began slowly “if he took this life and made it his, he would not live it, he would grow to think of it as a curse, and that he knows without a doubt," Hank sighed, partly with relief, but mostly with sadness as she continued "He... has thought of this, for all the reasons why he should be as he was, and what he will lose.. he needs you to do this for him Hank," So that was how it was. Well he had promised that if it came to this point he would help Spike relinquish the life the vampire had so recently clawed back from an eternity of death. And so he would, even if it cost him dearly to do so.
"He wants this Hank.." his erstwhile team mate said , trying to reassure him as no doubt his troubled thoughts invaded her sensitive mind. "But he fears the thought that you will tell him he can either stay as he is, or become what he was before he gained his soul," Hank shut his eyes and drew a deep breath. Souls weren’t meant to be part of his domain, or any mortals for that matter. That was too great a responsibility for any one man to bear. That they existed he at least had no doubt. After all wasn’t Spike proof enough of that? Religion wasn’t something Hank particularly subscribed to. He had not found a structure that found himself comfortable with. Belief however, that was something else.
He had fought demons face to face. He had looked them in the eyes and known that hell existed. So how could he doubt that their counterparts did as well? He knew with stark certainty that Spike’s soul was as real as his hand or his heart. And without a doubt more important! It couldn’t be at risk here. That wouldn’t be fair. After all Spike had recovered it before any of Arisa’s blood had ever entered his veins. He had won it back on his own terms. It was in fact the driving force behind all of this. Behind his love for Rogue. His devotion to Xavier’s.
"He's made his choice, Jean told him, I can't put his thoughts to word, they twist and wind and scatter and yet all focus on this one thing... this is something he is sure about, something his heart is fighting for,"“God , Jean “ Hank’s voice was unsteady as it never was in front of a patient and his yellow eyes were misted with tears. “ I’m actually going to do this. I’m going to take his humanity away from him. You don’t actually think I’d risk his soul as well, do you?”
Re: Thursday March 29th: Surrender to Immortality
The discussion in the other room left Spike at first trying to ignore them, he may not have as fantastic hearing as he had, but he could still hear better then any ordinary human, and the attempt of offering them privacy had originally been on Spike’s agenda. It was of course rather difficult when tones grew stressed and doubt seemed to soak the air itself. The vampire waited for a bit, though an edginess was settling in the longer they talked. In some ways, Spike didn’t understand what exactly the problem was, why the delay over something so theoretically simple? Of course Spike was concerned and paranoid and generally worried over all the negatives that could happen from this, but even more so over what could happen if he didn’t do it, so why was everyone making it even harder for him? With a soft sigh the blonde slipped his legs off the bed and stared at the doorway, listening to their voices, but for a majority of it, letting the words slip by relatively unregistered and lacking true meaning. All that mattered right now were the emotions tied to the voices. The glasses Hank had loaned Spike were adjusted slightly, nudged further up the rim of Spike’s nose as he slipped off the bed and stood up beside it. Hesitantly, not entirely sure of how long they would be, the vampire slowly inched his way towards them, arms folded about his chest and the hands rubbing lightly at the upper arms as Spike moved, as if a man affected by the cold and trying to warm up.
Nothing Jean said seemed to make it better, or easier, and of course the telepath hadn’t expected it to, yet Spike’s mind was difficult to read at best of times, it was disorientating and confusing. Though the struggle of trying to decipher the meanings of those disjointed thoughts perhaps blinded her to the struggle which her old friend was facing, unlike Hank or Rogue, Jean had very little to do with Spike save for the shielding of his mind, and the reading of it should it have been required. To her this was his choice, and his right, and yet would she have felt the same if it were Hank or Storm, Logan or Scott that asked for something just as radical? Lord knew that Jean would sacrifice everything before putting her husband’s life at risk, and yet still his life was hanging by a thread, regardless of her wants and desires. Perhaps this was not the best time for Jean to be involved, especially sympathetically, not when she suddenly felt so detached and angry.
“God, Jean“ It was then that Spike had been moments from bursting into the office, some random witty remark ready at hand to help speed things along, though instead the vampire found himself pulling back, a confused frown appearing over his handsome features as Hank’s voice broke, “I’m actually going to do this. I’m going to take his humanity away from him. You don’t actually think I’d risk his soul as well, do you?” While Jean’s hand reached for Hank’s shoulder, Spike’s head had tilted in a slight confusion, they were really taking this seriously… they were taking his well being seriously, and for a moment, just briefly, Spike found himself bordering speechless and surprised. When had this happened? That people actually found themselves concerned for him? And why, with all Spike’s fantastic abilities and heightened senses, had he not seen it?
"I severely doubt it would be that easy doc," Spike voiced with an air of attempted humour, though the seriousness of the matter did dampen the effort of lightening the mood, especially as Spike wasn’t entirely sure what to say.. and wondered if scurrying back to his bed would have been the far wiser option. "Humanity was always my bane," The vampire continued, "Hell, even death couldn’t get rid o’it, right? I somehow doubt a lil’blood loss will," There was a half hearted smile as Spike added, "Ro’s going to be stopping by, if she walks in with you all actin’ like’is, she’ll think you’ve accidently staked me,"
Re: Thursday March 29th: Surrender to Immortality"I severely doubt it would be that easy doc," The voice caught him by surprise, pulling him away from Jean as he turned to face the blond haired young man who stood looking at him.Hank had been so wrapped up in his own crisis of conscience that he hadn’t even realised the vampire had got close enough to hear what he had said, and perhaps also to see what it had cost him to say it. That wasn’t right. It wasn’t professional. A doctor never showed his own weaknesses in front of a patient. And yet here now was Spike comforting him when it should have been the other way around.
"Humanity was always my bane," the vampire said with an attempt at nonchalance that almost came off. "Hell, even death couldn’t get rid o’it, right? I somehow doubt a lil’blood loss will," But it would and they both knew it. Oh not the humanity that lay behind his eyes. But all the physical attributes that made it real. You didn’t have to have Jean’s powers to read his thoughts. The sadness that shadowedthe smile Spike managed to summon up, made it all to clear that he knew what he was going to lose. But then again his next words made equally clear what prize it was that he wanted to win. "Ro’s going to be stopping by,” he told the doctor, the very was he said his lover’s name betraying the depths of his feelings for her. if she walks in with you all actin’ like’is, she’ll think you’ve accidently staked me,"
“We can’t have that now, can we? “ Hank replied, meeting Spike’s attempt at lightening the atmosphere with one of his own. “Otherwise I might end up being the one requiring medical attention” There was sanity and mutual understanding in the eyes that met his and faced with it Hank knew he could only acquiesce to his patient’s request. They would do this and they would do it now. And all they could do was pray that neither one of them came to regret it later on.
“Everything is ready, Spike.” he went on indicating the waiting bed and the bags of blood stacked around it. “Even me.” Jean might have been able to detect that he wasn’t entirely telling the truth when he said that, but long years of practice kept any of his remaining qualms from showing on his face. “So do you want to start the process now” he asked calmly “ or would you prefer to wait till Rogue gets here? I don’t mind either way”
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Re: Thursday March 29th: Surrender to Immortality"We can’t have that now, can we?" Not if he wanted to watch those cubs of his grow up, Rogue could be quite the woman when it came to that old say ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’. Though, the thought of such actions from Rogue seemed to unwittingly cause rise to her opposite side, the side Spike was but a few who had been allowed to witness, the tender, vibrantly passionate woman who’s extraordinary touch was anything but a powerhouse of brutality. "Otherwise I might end up being the one requiring medical attention" If that moment could have achieved it, Spike would have laughed, yet even with the humour of the thought what was to come and what was currently happening still unnerved the vampire enough to dim his reply to a soft chuckle barely heard under his breath.
"Everything is ready, Spike." Confirmed the doctor and it gave both a sense of relief and unease as the hour of this moment had finally arrived. "Even me." Was that true? Spike didn’t give it much thought, because it was a fight Hank would have to deal with on his own, all Spike could do was make the battle as easy as possible. Jean on the other wasn’t yet ready to leave Hank’s side, not until he asked her to, for now she followed, distant when needed and close when she thought would help.
"So do you want to start the process now" Taking in an unneeded breath, Spike thought carefully over both choices, which option would be best he couldn’t be entirely sure, yet maybe it was easier to get it started sooner rather then later, "or would you prefer to wait till Rogue gets here? I don’t mind either way" With a nod of the vampire’s head, Spike waved his hand a little, moving to the edge of the bed to show his readiness as he spoke.
"I’ve spent too much time waitin’," Though despite that comment Spike still eyed the bed up and down, as if still taking in the very idea of what it stood for… head goes there, legs over there and close your eyes for a moment as it changes everything! As it supposedly makes right what has gone wrong, was it some sort of poetic justice then? Some cosmic way of telling Spike what was going on was in fact ‘wrong’ and in need of being cured? Raising his face, Spike stared across at a face unseen. He knew it wasn’t real, as so often was the case, and for the moment it didn’t bother him as he recalled the image of his mother, what would she say to him? To give up the very things she had once felt so highly about, the things she yearned for her son to experience? Would this disappoint her as so many other actions he had done?
"She seems a lovely woman," Jean’s voice that addressed Spike helped snap him from his thoughts, causing his eye to pull away from whatever he had stared at and to Jean, offering the telepath an oddly proud grin, "Damn right she was," he replied, "Only woman who ever sat through so many hours o’drivel," though with that said Spike chuckled softly, looking back towards where he had thought she stood only to see nothing, which seemed to cause a dull disappointment in his eyes. "You know’ey called me Willam th’Bloody before I died?" Although he tried to keep the smirk, it was obviously something that had bothered him, "Lost in th’ages… misunderstood for something they’d consider more obvious… was really William th’Bloody – Butcher o’words," A soft smile was offered back at Jean before Spike took a seat on the bed, pulling himself further back so that his legs hang over the edge.
Though as he added the next sentence it came out surprisingly cultured in his softer tone, as if repeating something spoken so long ago that it rang so familiar to his mind that the accent cultured over the centuries had been driven back, "Mother always said, “William, your words to them are as riddles, the secrets of the world explained to that of a child’s mind,” …" There was a soft scoff as he continued, the cockney accent back in the vampire’s voice as if it had never left, "If’ey had met you Doc, they’d’ave had needed your skills as a doctor fo’sure....... coz o'th'head explosion an' all," It seemed that comment gave Spike amusement as he laid out on the bed, wiggling a moment to get comfortable as he settled down. To be honest, if Hank had been around back then, Spike most definitely would not be just parading him and his encyclopaedic knowledge of words around the gatherings, he’d make first and foremost sure that the skills of this man would have been better used on his mother. Whatever ailed the woman surely could not have been incurable by a man of this day and age, with the technology at his disposal.
"Keep my shirt on? Shoe’s off? What’s the procedure’ere?" The question wasn’t fully intentional on steering the conversation away, he didn’t mean to make it awkward if that became the case but wanted to know if anything in particular was needed before this whole thing begun.
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