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jules1966
COH Visitor
Posts: 2
(9/9/03 11:43 am)
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Warm Welcome and History
Thank you for the warm welcome...Queen of Haunts, Angel Tash and COH Visitor!!
As I said before...several things have occured at my family home all of which followed the death of my mother when I was 4 and my brother was 6 (this would have been in March of '71). My mother suffered from clinical depression which we now believe to have been related to bipolar disorder and after having battled this for many years--took her life in the family home.
My first encounter with what/who I believe to be my mother was around age 6. It was a sense of being watched followed by what I can only describe as a dark or heavy feeling/presence. This has occured at various times during the day and night, but most strongly felt while alone in the house. These feelings have brought me to the point of almost being terrified. As a child I would turn on all the lights in the house to "protect" myself and as an adult have had such feelings of fear I have had to literally leave. (These things happened while alone in the house.)
There have been instances of what I call whispering. It is a sound so faint I have to strain to even begin hearing it. This has occured in the kitchen and my parent's bedroom. I cannot make out any words or a voice--just a very distant,small "whooshing" (for lack of better description) sound.
I do not know that this is my mother trying to reach me somehow--to give me a message or it is my own fear of what I do not understand. There are many other details relating to this story and I am willing to share these things with anyone with knowledge and understanding of this.
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ImAngelTash 
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Posts: 3023
(9/9/03 12:36 pm)
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Re: Warm Welcome and History
Thank you for sharing this with us, Julie. What an interesting story...
One thing that stood out for me is that it got more frightening as you got older. I would think, and I am by no means any kind of expert, that if the spirit was your mother, you would not have felt a dark presence or been afraid. I could be wrong on that.
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jules1966
COH Visitor
Posts: 3
(9/9/03 5:58 pm)
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Re: Warm Welcome and History
ImAngelTash:
Thank you for replying to my post, I did not expect a response so quickly--it is appreciated!!
I agree with you in that if this was the spirit of my mother there should be a feeling different than those that I have had. I am new to exploring this and do not understand my fear myself.
Let me explain a little further the situation and events surrounding all of this. The entire subject was treated as a huge secret within my family for many, many years and through finally asking questions of my dad and other family members (around the age 14) found out what a troubled person my mother truly was. I had heard rumors about how my mother died as this is a small town--people like nothing more than to talk--especially about things that do not concern them. After having gotten the answer to my main questions-which were...how exactly did my mother die?, why did she take her own life?--did I even admit to myself the feelings/presence, the "whispering" may not have been in my head when I was younger. I spent a lot of time wondering if I were crazy, if anyone else had these experiences in my family's home. I finally got the courage to ask my brother one time if he had anything ever happen to him or if he had ever felt/heard anything while in the house.
One day, after having been taken by my step-person (that reference is another story in itself) to register for school, she and I pulled into the driveway to find my brother shooting baskets out on the drive by himself wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts. I thought this was strange and when our step-person asked why he was doing that, why he was dressed that way, he didn't answer her directly. She went into the house and I asked my brother the same questions again. He told me he had been asleep and woke up to hearing something like voices from down the hall. He said he thought it was us coming back early and got up to see how things had gone. He told me of going down the hall toward the dining room, hearing voices like that of little kids--he described it as sounding like a birthday party type noise. He said he made it to the corner of the room and suddenly the nosies stopped. He said he was so scared that he ran back to his room..threw on his shorts and went outside and stayed there until we got back. He had been outside for over an hour waiting. He also admitted to once finding the radio in the kitchen on after coming in the house from mowing--nobody else was home nor had he turned it on. He did not say he ever saw anything and over the years has not admitted to ever having heard anything before or after the times he told me about when I have asked him.
I have wondered if the feeling/presence I feel in the house is the sadness my mother felt in her life as she dealt with her illness. I have also wondered if there is something else trapped there. Maybe I have mistaken the feeling as dark when it is only profound sadness and because I do not understand it--I fear it so much. I do not know. I am hoping to receive suggestions as how to proceed in investigating this and documenting my experieces so that I may one day feel differently...not afraid. Is it not true that what we fear most is what we do not understand?
I have never approached my dad with any of this nor do I expect to be able to gain his approval for an investigation. I did get the courage to ask my step-person in later years--after my brother and I had grown up and moved out about anything strange happening. She never answered me directly and avoided the subject.
I do know also of my step-person going into the kitchen in the mornings and finding every cabinet door standing open and also to finding the basement door standing wide open with her being the only person in the house at the time and not having opened the door herself (she religiously kept the chain lock on the door so it would only open a crack as the result of falling down stairs as a child and was afraid of another fall). She had confided this to my aunt who dismissed it as my brother and me playing jokes on her. In later years, before my step-person's death (also at the family home) she confided the same to me after I made a joke about "Casper" opening the basement door again--she had finally said something to me about all of these happenings after I came home one afternoon and found her almost in tears because of the door being open and she simply said "I have lived with this for over 20 years now...I guess your mother still wants me out." I had no idea things had been happening to her for so long and she was obviously very upset. I wonder what else she dealt with and never said a word to anyone?
I have often wondered another way to look at this...could it be my mother's spirit fighting against my step-person's having been in her house? Could that account for the feelings and the fear? Is it what I have been told at one time or another is "bad energy"?
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ImAngelTash
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Abbey Enchantress
Posts: 3030
(9/10/03 9:59 am)
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Re: Warm Welcome and History
Now that your step-person is gone, do you still have experiences in the home?
I think it's a great step to ask questions and learn more about what you have seen/heard/felt. Understanding (and knowing) is half the battle.
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ghstbster 
Queen of
The Haunts
Posts: 8188
(9/10/03 10:04 am)
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Re: Warm Welcome and History
Wow I dont have the answer to whom was in your home. But I do have some information you may find interesting. I dont know if you still can enter this home. But to take pictures is a good start to any investigation. Also have you ever ran a history report on this home, sometimes you can find out alot of information and perhaps someone that has lived and died there. Im just throwing out ideas. What a good thing for you to do is try and put your scaredness aside, i know it sounds difficult but that energy cannot harm you. And you have to make it a point to tell them that they are no longer here and they need to move on. Hope this helped 
Castle of Haunts Coastal Spirit Chasers |
jules1966
COH Visitor
Posts: 4
(9/10/03 11:11 am)
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Re: Warm Welcome and History
Yes, I can still enter the home...my dad still lives there. The only time the home was vacant was for 9 months following my mother's suicide. We stayed next door with my grandparents until my parent's bedroom was re-modeled and my dad felt ready to go back there. The house was built around 1963-64 and was part of a large propery my grandparents bought in the early 50's when my family moved here from south Missouri. I don't know much about the land other than it was pasture for milk cattle before it was bought by my family. My grandparent's house stands to the north of my dad's and my uncle's (his brother) house stands to the south--all next door to each other with large plots between separating the yards.
I have had these feelings whether someone else (a living person) was in the house with me or not. They are most strongly felt when I am alone in there. Not much has changed since my step-person passed away--still the same. My strongest feelings are in the dining room area, hallway, the master bedroom and the basement. At one point while we were both in high school, my brother and I discussed the possibility of poltergeist activity due to the trauma suffered in the house with my mother, the step-person coming to live there and all the things that took place as a result of that. It was less than a happy home at times. My brother and I had both read a little about poltergiest infestations, but neither of us know enough on the subject to say one way or another.
There have been numerous photos taken in and around the homes over the years. just like any typical family would have, but I have not looked at any to see if anything was captured (orbs, vortex or anomolies) and do not remember seeing anything out of the ordinary in more recent photos. I have read up on these things casually over the years and have recently begun browsing many paranormal sites on the web in search of information. I just found in the past few days there are some groups located in the Kansas City area! One group has done several investigations of properties located in Cass County (where I have lived my whole life) and some amazing things were discovered. The history of my hometown and surrounding areas are full of Civil War history....everything from Quantrell's Raiders to the Younger Brothers to Jesse James having been recorded as having visited here, had battles here and even one Younger brother was the mayor here.
I am in the process of gathering information and then going to the local Historical Society to see what may have been on the property my family owns. Maybe that will give me some idea of what took place and other signifigant information. I am not ruling out the fact that there could be another explanation for all of this. It seems that I have spent so many years concentrating on the fact that it may be my mother when in all reality it could be others that have not or are not able to pass on.
Does this make sense?
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ImAngelTash
Admin &
Abbey Enchantress
Posts: 3033
(9/10/03 12:35 pm)
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Re: Warm Welcome and History
Absolutely! Let us know what you find out. 
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jules1966
COH Visitor
Posts: 5
(9/10/03 2:16 pm)
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Re: Warm Welcome and History
I will keep you up as to what I find out, ImAngel...it makes me feel so much better just knowing someone can understand what I am talking about! I appreciate your responses and those of other people here so very much! For once...nobody is laughing at me or making fun of me for what I believe...that is a gift all by itself! If anyone has suggestions or comments..please feel free to post them--I will read each one and be open to ideas.
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ImAngelTash
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Posts: 3034
(9/10/03 2:32 pm)
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Re: Warm Welcome and History
Quote:
For once...nobody is laughing at me or making fun of me for what I believe...that is a gift all by itself!
No worries about that here!
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ghstbster
Queen of
The Haunts
Posts: 8194
(9/11/03 10:38 am)
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Re: Warm Welcome and History
It makes perfect sense. What your doing is great, your going in the right direction. As for the civil war, that could explain alot, being in the south myself I find alot of hauntings due to that as well. There are tons of sites and books to read up on if your interested in investigating that further. Good luck and please keep us posted.
Castle of Haunts Coastal Spirit Chasers |
ImAngelTash
Admin &
Abbey Enchantress
Posts: 3041
(9/11/03 12:02 pm)
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Re: Warm Welcome and History
and take pictures!
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