Watch out here she blows.
My husband has no clue when it comes to money. I am still living with the same crappy kitchen as I had when I moved in. Still living with the same flimsy front entryway that was falling apart when we moved in, and doesn't shut properly.
He has 2 cars, 5 or 6 r/c cars (3 that have cost us over $500.00 each). I struggle from month to month to pay the bills. And WHY???????????? Because he has to have spending money. We agreed on a weekly amount, but does he stick to it????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I have absoultely had it. I just took a hammer to my cabinets and front door, kicked in the basement door and my bedroom door. How long do you think he is going to make me live like this???? Did I forget to mention, we've been in this house for 11 years.
Where the heck is his priorities???? He promised me when he bought that car (almost $500.00 a month) that it wouldn't effect me getting a new kitchen. 2 years later and I'm still waiting.
NOW, he went and cancelled the credit card that is supposed to pay for my internet service. So I have about a month of on-line time left and because our contract isn't up yet we are going to get slammed with penalties. Then he tells me I told him to cancell that card. No,moron I told you to cancell the other one, not both. Just wait till he comes home and sees the kitchen and the doors.
Oh my gosh queen, I think you and him need a sit down heart to heart. That isnt right, you both should be pulling each others weight to have what you both want. thats not cool, well hopefully he wont be mad about the doors and cabinets, but maybe that might spark something for him that you mean buisness. I dont want to see you go on the internet, that would be horrible. Im sorry your going threw this I wish I could help. Please let us know the outcome hopefully you can settle this.
Re: Watch out here she blows.
Awww Queen, I am soo sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time. Sounds to me like you had your fill and threw a little more than a temper tantrum. LOL, maybe he'll get the hint. Honestly, can't say I wouldn't have done the same. Here, have a and some . When Mstik gets home we'll send him out for some chocolate.
Lead Moderator & Castle Maiden
Posts: 2979
(5/8/03 10:48 pm) Reply
Re: Watch out here she blows.
OH NO Patti. It sounds to me like he might need to sell a few of his "toys" to help pay for the renovations that he so clearly will need to do now, once he gets home and discovers he will have no choice. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I can just imagine how frusted and angry you must be. Let us know if he survived the night ok!
Lead Moderator & Abbey Enchantress
Posts: 2114
(5/9/03 7:43 am) Reply
Re: Watch out here she blows.
*hugs Patti*
I can relate to what you are going through. My ex-husband used to check our bank balance on the ATM and take out beer money accordingly. He never took into consideration that we had outstanding checks.
Re: Watch out here she blows.
What makes me so mad is that I set up a bill account and a spending account. Each week I put $200.00 (1 for me 1 for him) into the spending account. Out of my half comes gas for my car and groceries. The only problem is that before I get to do the groceries the whole $200.00 is gone, so I have no choice but the do the grocery out of the bill account. I'm lucky if I get $10.00 of gas in my truck a week. He rides the train for free to and from work, puts $25.00 in gas in his car (that's a fill up) and spends $10.00 on the subway for the week. And if I ask him where the other $155.00 went he gets mad and says he needs spending money.
He actually had the nerve to go and buy new hinges and put the old cabinet doors back up. If something isn't done I will just do it again next month. And I will destroy to doors so they can't be put back up.
I also, took the last of the tax refund out of what is now his account and opened my own. His name isn't on it so he can't touch it. I also told him he isn't getting anymore than $100.00 a week and if he racks up fees from over drawing I don't care. Once that is gone he is done for the week. I haven't told him yet that his beer money comes out of that, it no longer gets figured into the grocery money. I'm also changing my auto-deposit to go into my new account. If he won't get me a kitchen, I'll have to do it myself.
I did get him to agree to selling the extra car, haven't told him yet that I'm taking that money. The account I opened is going to be for things we really need. I'm also hiding the checks from the bill account. It's going to be a real shock to be able to write checks and not worry about them bouncing.
I think I may even start embelizing money (if there is extra) out of the bill account and open a savings account.
I did get the credit card situation straightened out. So I won't lose my connection. I need it for my auctions.
Thanks all for all your concern. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry if I worried you all. I kind of had a melt down and went psycho. (me last night.)
Lead Moderator & Abbey Enchantress
Posts: 2129
(5/9/03 1:05 pm) Reply
Re: Watch out here she blows.
I'm glad that you are taking steps to take care of yourself financially, Patti. That will probably prove to be a lifesaver later on...
Re: Watch out here she blows.
Glad things worked out for you patti, sometimes you gotta fend for yourself. Hope all goes well and glad that your not losing the internet.
Re: Watch out here she blows.
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) to patti.
Can't say I blame you not one little bit hon. Sometimes we have to take matters like this into our own hands to meet obligations.
Re: Watch out here she blows.
We are fine, he apologized. Took him 2 days, but when he thought about it, he knew I was right (not for smashing the cabinets or doors), but the way he spends money.
We are going to get my new entryway door tomorrow, and probably the new tub surround.
He really isn't a bad guy, this is his only issue (other than his family). I think I have been trying to protect him from this stress, because of what they put him through, and it backfired. From now on I'm not going to protect him when the money starts getting tight. He really does need to know where all the money is, just incase something happens and I can't any longer.
Thanks again for all your support.
Re: Watch out here she blows.
Not to bring this up again. But he just spent more money on those damned toys of his. I informed him that everytime he buys a part for one of his toys I'm going to take out a cabinet. I'm not just talking doors, I'm talking the whole thing. So I guess I will be doing some demolition tomorrow. I think the one over the fridge will be the first to go.
I got this idea from my sister. Everytime her husband spends unnessisary money on one of the cars she goes and buys clothes. That doesn't work for me, I want/need a new kitchen.
Re: Watch out here she blows.
I'm just wondering how many cabinets will have been removed before he gets the hint. And to prove it isn't being done out of anger, I will be doing it the proper way. With prybars and saws. Very calmly, I will pack away what is stored in the cabinet and take it down without damaging the walls. I think after 11 years in this house I've been patient enough.
Im sorry your going threw this I wish I could help. Please let us know the outcome hopefully you can settle this.
Honestly, can't say I wouldn't have done the same. Here, have a 
and some 
. When Mstik gets home we'll send him out for some chocolate.
(me last night.)
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