You always describe things so that they can be tasted.I love that.
I've always felt a bit swimmy and lots of the other stuff you mentioned...being hyper aware of sensation etc....
and a bit ungrounded..
when I've smoked, once or twice i had a nice warm cozy bonding experience with friends...so I think i know partly what some people get from it.
All the other times, it made me paranoid and self concious, and feeling out of control of my body....(thus the paranoia) I don't like feeling mentally foggy...it scares me.I usually trip on it rather than just get high....and i don't like the trips i'v'e had on it.
I certainly know people who use it to relax and to especially ease their mind and it does seem to work for them, it does seem to clarify their thoughts and ease their anxiety....
I hate myself because I use Windows XP
Some people have panic attacks on THC.
I don't, but then I don't have any when I'm sober either. Well, not usually, that is.
What was the topic again?
I think I could handle THC again by now. I always found it slightly weird how people were pushing it as completely harmless (as opposed to alcohol) since I know the paranoia and discomfort it can cause.
In my experience it's only the un-burdened mind that's free to enjoy drugs. Blissful innocence! Alas, we do "grow up" and make wrong choices.
Or maybe guilt is neurotic. Much of it was eased by "getting it out" in conversations with my "most trusted". (Juni being one of them.)
I don't know how it'd interact with the meds I take but then I'm not too susceptible to drugs, usually.
Either way I'd like to give it a try again. Just not now. I'm drunk. Thank you. Good night.
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Oh and I think it smells like @#%$. I mean. Uhm. It doesn't smell good. But, whatever.
And I can't stand doped up people. Many are dull, indifferent and ...blah. 'narmean?
And, y'know, I *need* my remaining IQ points; yes, I use "IQ" consciously here, I'm not equating it to "intelligence" or "worth as a human being", I know it's not all there is to whatever "it" is, but, gah, spending even more time in a daze ain't what's gonna help me.
First, I need a job, so one of you'll havta give me one. I'm waiting.
I fully understand the fear of being alone sometimes, it can be painfully draining and stifling and paralyzing and other such unpleasant things, but AAAAAAAAACKKK!! It's stressful enough to be seen, talked to, etc., it's worse when all you do is watch someone you love do nothing *with* you.
Can you follow me.
I'm preparing to go back to the academy, have spent a year being "sick" tho it was really the time before that when I was "sick" (and still went there, see the connection?) now I dunno what to do I'm not the type who just gets to know someone cool or finds a McJob somewhere to span the gaps or has any passions left or any kind of zest for life. Blah blah. Bye
"...let's see if we're that strong"
Not afraid of being alone, not really. Yes, it depresses me when I'm suddenly by myself after having company but that's the shock. Only child, single parent family, I've spent most of my life alone. It's normal for me.
But you can have company and be alone. That's normal for me too. You can feel alone during sex. You're only not alone if you're actually communicating with someone in a way that's meaningful to you. I only ever knew one person I didn't feel alone with. So at the time I felt completely different, I was a different person. Like that girl who, miraculously, had never heard of snow until she woke up one morning and pulled her bedroom curtains as on any other day.
But I only remember it in words. I don't remember thow it felt.
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