Salem Center - The Illusion of PerfectionA week after the training missions
Little could be said towards the activities of Salem Center, as always it was bustling with commotion, some of the shopkeepers that had specials would have a worker standing outside the shop calling out remarks on the special items and their discounted prices. Succulent smells wafted around the food court, hungry families swarmed around the area, studying and examining the options surrounding them. Children tugged their parents along, endearing girls hugged cuddled affectionately against their boyfriends or held their hands, and bright smiles lightened every delightful expression. If anyone was miserable it was impossible to see amongst all the bright excitement, not that there was any singular specific reason for the burst of life in everyone, it just seemed to be highly contagious for the shoppers on a basically perfect day additionally weather wise.
A young nine-year-old boy was amongst the thrilled group of gathered people, a small moist tongue licking over the already melting surface of a ball of chocolate chipped ice-cream that was sitting on top of a strawberry with chocolate ball. Dressed in a new set of clothes, small jeans and a white top with a little jean jacket and bright new sneakers, a cute child that would undoubtedly grow into a handsome man, icy blue eyes and neatly combed brown hair that was parted at the side. Though as Chris made his way towards the table where an older boy sat with his girlfriend, the younger one made a groan as he came to a stop a few feet away. As usual, the two were kissing, their bodies leaned towards each other and their lips moving against the others, a disgusted look formed on Chris’s face, chocolate ice-cream smeared on his lips from when he used his lips instead of his teeth to bite into the cold treat.
“Yuk.” The word was stressed, but it was easy to tell he was just making fun of them and not trying to be rude, the beautiful young woman smirked and the vibrantly deep blue eyes of the older boy of similar age with her both turned their attention towards the youngest of their group.
“Look who’s talking,” The older boy teased back at Chris who was smothered in ice-cream, James leaned forward after picking up on the tissues from the meal they had eaten before, wiping it over the youngsters mouth and cleaning away the residue of ice-cream. “There, sit down and finish up, we’ll wait, after I was thinking we could get something new for the house,” Chris climbed up onto the seat once he had offered the ice-cream for James to hold, once settled James handed it back, placing his thumb against his lips to clean away the dribble of chocolate that slipped down onto his skin.
“What did you want?” Sarah’s dark eyes watched James with a pleased smile tugging at the corner of her lips, her naturally tanned skin seemed to glow when lights touched it, golden highlights in her dark hair adding to the effect. “Don’t forget I wanted some rubbing oils and candles,” A playful look went unnoticed by Chris who busied himself with devouring his ice-cream, James’s arm rested on the back of her seat as Sarah gave him a coy look that caused him to smile, blissfully unaware of everything happening around him.
“Hmm, well,” Since James knew exactly when she had planned for those oils, he gladly made a compromise, “We should probably look for those first then.” A grin formed, though now he was looking forward to getting back home just to start his night with her sooner rather then later. “If we have time, I thought some music would be nice maybe.” Sarah leaned a little towards James again, her hand resting on his stomach, easily able to feel the slender muscles beneath the fabric of his chocolate brown t-shirt. The blue eyes were strange and yet captivating, like wild blue fire burned within them, reflecting light at times like that of a feline, an almost pale glow danced around them at night when they lay together in their bed, he’d look at her and his eyes would always shimmer when they had candles on, like an ocean when the rays of the sun beam down and cause the water to glitter like diamonds.
At first it had been a little eerie to have such strange unusual eyes staring at her in the dark like that, but she’d easily gotten used to it once she realized how stunning they really were. There were a few things unusual about her companion, sometimes when they made love he’d make out of the ordinary noises with his throat, she could tell it wasn’t intentional, and it wasn’t like the usual groan or anything, it was very animalistic, like a real growl or purring sort of groan. Not that she minded, admittedly the sounds could be very provocative and he was wild in bed …or where ever they happened to be… and though she could tell he hadn’t been with a woman often – if ever – he definitely had a natural talent and was a fast learner on top of that. Probably had to do with all the animal instincts he seemed to possess, yet at the same time he was so civilized, it was hard to judge him since he was always proving her silent opinions wrong. This bizarre relationship was starting to prove to be so much more then what she thought of it being when she first met him, she was actually, much to her surprise, starting to admire James.
Glancing at the time, just after two, still most of the day left, James wondered if he ought to call his mother, she always worried over him so much, especially since his accident, but who’s mother wouldn’t worry? Well ok, so she wasn’t his biological mother, but she adopted him and he didn’t mind calling her his mother, both in his mind and to others who might ask of their connection to each other. After all, wasn’t a mother someone who protects and nurses someone in their care? He’d have been utterly lost if it hadn’t been for Amlarie, she was helping him through such a hard phase of his life, he’d never regain everything he’s lost in the accident if it wasn’t for her effort, love and support she was giving him persistently.
Chris was adopted into the family as well, but all of them had some form of blue eyes, Chris was the only one with normal eyes however, James had very unnatural sea blue and Amlarie had large pale blue eyes, she didn’t look like other humans, but it didn’t bother James at all, he felt more comfortable with her because of her uniqueness then if she was completely normal. She was entertaining to be with as well, like when she had shown James his room and he honestly hadn’t liked what he saw of his set up, it was all so … stern. There was a section for a small gym and sure that looked like an all right pass time but that’s basically the only form of entertainment he had in the room. It had been set up focused on what seemed to appeal to the taste he had possessed before, since Amlarie wanted him to be happy and comfortable in his new apartment in her building, she had emptied it out completely and had spent the day with him changing it around and making it more casual and simple… and homey.
But he was allowed to get entertainment things himself, since he didn’t really know what he wanted or what he liked, going around the shops with Sarah and Chris on occasions was proving to be more fun then just having other people get things for him. His mother had a great deal of money, her building was amazing, she had a hand in everything it seemed, James felt so lucky to have such an influential mother who still made time for her to spend with him. In truth there had been an accident a week ago and since then James has been unable to recall anything before then, so this was all still so new to him, he was lucky to have people around him that wanted to do everything possible just to protect him and help him. They did a lot of experiments and had very advanced technology in the building, apparently James had gotten caught in a security system failure and the attack knocked him out. Definitely didn’t want to try and get on the wrong side of Liberty’s security system again!
The first thing he remembers was waking up in the medical room, he isn’t sure why but he got completely freaked out, he was so terrified of being in the room itself that he didn’t realize he was lacking vital memory, everyone around him had seemed so kind, all asking if he needed anything, saying that it was ok and that he shouldn’t worry. It wasn’t until they started trying to talk to him to help calm him down (The heart monitor had given away the fact he was scared) that James had realized he didn’t know where he was, everyone acted as if they knew him, they even said his family was there, his mother and his little brother and even Sarah had been watching him beside Amlarie. It was nice to have them around when he woke, he probably would have been frightened for a lot longer if he didn’t have anyone but the doctors telling him everything was going to be fine.
Everyone seemed really uneasy around him then, shy as if they weren’t sure how he’d react to them being around, Sarah had been really withdrawn, she hadn’t seemed very welcoming at first, it was ask if she was forcing herself to be there, just being polite for the sake of doing so, at first James thought she was his sister, though she didn’t seem too pleased and he honestly wouldn’t have liked to know she was his sister if she was going to act all grouchy and negative all the time. After a short talk though his mother introduced her as if girlfriend, which surprised him greatly since it was as if she was just someone who he didn’t get on along with and she was only visiting because Amlarie had insisted. Chris had taken a shine to him pretty quickly, even staying behind to continue talking with James until the older boy had drifted off to sleep, instead of leaving Chris had remained there to wait for him to wake up again, Chris hadn’t grown up with an older brother so having someone like James was something that Chris has always dreamed of getting.
While the group began to leave the food court, another pause for James to help clean Chris’s face and then continuing off to find Sarah’s Aromatherapy shop she was talking about, Chris saw a computer game store and although he didn’t run up to it like most of the other kids James did notice how Chris looked at the unfamiliar things in the stores. The young boy had seen plenty of stores like that while he was on the street, watching kids his age dragging parents into them and running from one game to another wanting to look at the latest craze to hit the shelves eagerly. Blazing blue eyes turned over towards the store Chris was looking at, maybe he should get something like that for his little brother’s room, but which would Chris like best? His sibling tended to go very quiet and shy when James asked if he wanted anything, even to get him an ice cream, in the end James just gave Chris money and now Chris goes off to get what he wants as long as it’s equal price or less to what James had given him.
“Do we have to go in there?” The sulky remark was made once Chris saw the shop packed full of girls sniffing different fragrances and scanning through an assortment of items, only a few males were in there and they were all older then him. Sarah cast James a side-glance and James smiled back with amusement, though slowed his steps and pointed over his shoulder his with thumb.
“Alright, Chris and I will be in that shop, come get us when you’re done.” Stepping forward as his hand reached for her shoulder, lightly holding her while he offered her a light ‘See you shortly’ kiss on her lips before taking Chris’s hand and leading him back to the computer store. “Let’s see what’s in here,” Letting go of Chris’s hand so that the younger boy could move into the store first, his eyes looking around at all the screens on one of the walls that had previews of all sorts of new games that were either on sale now or coming out soon. Music was playing throughout the store, not uncomfortably loudly, but loud enough that it was hard to understand what people on the other side of the room were saying.
There were four TVs mounted in the center of the room, James looked up at them while Chris snuck around the other costumers, he couldn’t read very well, but he’d been learning, and the last week he’d gotten a whole lot better with James reading stories with him, so he struggled a little to read the names of games and what they were about. There was a cartoon up on the screens James was watching; it’s where the song was coming from, Japanese animation of some movie that had a song made for it. A female voice was singing beautifully, though it was sad, about not being true to your emotions, causing someone you love and who loves you to suffer because you act so distant. The animation was nice, it was hard to look away once you started, even if it was a little depressing, someone knocked into James, pulling it attention away, another boy his age, both him and a friend of his looked back at James almost as if it had been James who had ran into them.
A single blink of James’s fantastic blue eyes and he was looking back at the screens again, his eyes shortly after slipping off to find Chris, who was focusing terribly hard on reading the back of a box other kids had been picking up a lot. On his way to glance back up at the TV’s on the ceiling the items on the far wall caught his attention, a look of interest crossing his features as he moved forward to get a better look. They had handheld game consoles, ones you plug into TVs, even portable laptops, there was a sign saying computers ordered in for anyone who wanted proper computers. Reaching out for one of the other smaller items, a box with a picture of a silver Discman, maybe he could get this and with the rest of his money get Chris one of these laptops and a game or two for him to play.
It was perfect, Chris got something and a computer can play music if James wanted to listen to something when Chris wasn’t playing it, besides, with a portal player he could have it when he goes out and listen to music while he walks. Taking a quick moment to check where Chris was, James picked up the two boxes, one for the laptop and the other for his Discman and then moved over to the counter. There was an information magazine containing news on all the latest games and other things, James picked that up as well, when they get home they can flick through it and see what else is for offer. Turning around while he waited in line, James watched as Chris tried to figure out how to handle the controls of one of the game systems the other kids and some older boys where also using. The box in the window above the screen of the TV Chris was at was the same one he had been reading earlier, for a while Chris seemed to just watch another boy play it, it looked a little violent, but then most of the games around here seemed like that.
James decided to get his brother three games, that one, called ‘Terror from the Cyber World’, about machines that were trying to take control of the human populace and the hero was starting a revolution for the human race, the hero was Cyborg, the graphics looked amazing, and it apparently won a lot of awards for realism and creativity despite similar storylines having been made in the past, this one was said to have a fantastically detailed world and unique plot twists. Not that James had any clue on anything related to video games; even before his amnesia he never played these sorts of computer games. Another game was called SIMS world, a realistic world with hundreds of different themes in which the players can entertain themselves with, creating the perfect family, or run the best Theme park, the range was enormous, Chris had to find a theme he liked in here, and he could hop about to different parts of the virtual world, from a hospital, a school, or the entire town itself, watching people interact and learning how to deal with financial and natural disasters. The third game was kind of a mixture, ‘Galaxy Wars – Uniting the Empire’, the same deal only more sci-fi based, where you create an army and develop a community of workers and soldiers, finding wood, food, gold, and other materials to grow and eventually gathering enough warriors to send off to attack any of the other enemies in the area. Of course there was a story to it but that was the general gist of the game.
Since James had no idea what kind of music he liked, he just decided to take the CD they were playing now, it had fifty popular songs from different artists, surely there had to be at least a collection of them that he’d enjoy. Sarah can help him shop for music next time he thought while placing everything onto the bench, pulling out the wallet his mother had given him and then a few hundred dollar notes that had also been from his mother. At first he refused the money but she insisted that he has always gotten a hundred dollars every week as pocket money, and when he still didn’t seem keen on accepting such a large amount she had mentioned it was for him to buy food and other things for himself and Chris when they went out. The fact there was a reason for it instead of her just spoiling him and that it was also for his little brother had made him sway and accept the ‘pocket money’. Because he was buying new things on his own instead of having his mother bring people in to decorate for him, she also gave him a large amount in a bank account that was solely his for his own personal use. He had been stunned to see how much was in there when they went earlier to pull out some spare cash, but Sarah said he’d been saving up his extra money for years, even before he met her.
Collecting the change the man handed to him and then the bags that all his things had been packed into, his Discman and CD was in a smaller bag to the laptop and the games were in a separate bag to themselves as well, the magazine slid into the bag with the laptop, and with that all done James grinned and said his thank you before heading for the exit of the shop. Chris had finally been allowed o use the TV by then, his eyes watching the controller instead of the screen while he tried to get his fingers used to the unfamiliar handles, the young child had never held one of them before. But the same guys that had walked into James earlier had told Chris to move over, taking control of the game instead of letting the kid figure out how to play. James frowned and had a mind to go over there and tell them off, but he had the feeling nothing good would come of it if he did that.
“Come on Chris, Sarah’s waiting.” Since Chris had no idea what was waiting for him in the older boys grasp, he pouted at the missed chance of trying out one of the things everyone else his age and older seemed to know everything about. Leaving the store the young boys interest rose a little as he noticed James now had bags he was putting down on one of the seats, Sarah had bags herself and was sitting down right outside the shop patiently waiting for the two boys. One of the bags James had was a lot smaller then the others, maybe James had gotten something small for him! Chris hovered closer to his new brother curiously, although James thought they had grown up together, it was just a lie, so much he knew was just a lie, but it wasn’t hurting him, Amlarie says James is happier now then before, she says she’s helping him live his dream. And now Chris is part of that dream, as well as Sarah, and even though she had only agreed to play her part because of the money and promise of a home and good food, Chris agreed because he was promised a family, a big brother. And this older boy was more then Chris could have ever dreamed of having, he wasn’t like a lot of the other brothers that Chris had seen while living on the streets. Chris’s mother had left him in a park, said they’d go out and play, which was rare because she was only ever interested in herself and her abusive boyfriend, they both always got drunk and took drugs together, but she was his mother so there was the longing for her love and the hope that she might change for the better. At first he wondered if she just forgot him… but after waiting for her to return he realized the truth, she had said she was leaving, said they were going somewhere better, her boyfriend Dave mustn’t have wanted Chris with them, either he goes or Dave goes without her.
Chris always thought if he had an older brother then he would have looked after him, they would have lived together instead of him hiding out in the abandoned apartments with other homeless kids, most were older then him, but he got a place to stay and scraps to eat from others and would scavenge leftovers from plates on cafes before they were cleared away. That’s how he had been found, one of Amlarie’s people had complained about how people could leave a child on the streets to live like that after she caught him sneaking off with her scraps before the waiter took away the plate that had been left. Amlarie found him, he’d been scared of her, the other people had told him of the adults who search for homeless kids and put them in terrible government places, most of the stories where nightmarish exaggerations, but some where true, and the streets didn’t seem that bad a home compared to what he heard. But Amlarie had promised him that she had a boy who was in need of help, someone she was taking care of that she wanted to give a new life to, a better one, and he needed a family, and she wanted Chris to be his little brother, that’s all he had to do… just be a little brother to someone.
But James didn’t offer the small bag to Chris, he put it down on the seat behind him, Sarah ended up picking it up to see what was inside while James dropped to his knees and placed the two other bags on the hard white floor in front of him, dropping his hands to his thighs while smiling at Chris. The young eyes looked from the bags James was obviously offering him and to the smaller one Sarah was looking at, she pulled out the box and then started reading the names of songs from the CD that was also inside the bag. Moving towards the bags, the same shyness engulfing him as he looked between the bags and James, Chris’s smaller hand parted the larger bag that had three boxes inside, he knew one right away as the being the one he had spent a few minutes translating, but they didn’t have anything to play them with… small eyes shot up a glance at James’s gleaming blue eyes, suspicions verified as his little fingers parted the opening of the other bag and spied a picture of one of those small computers. Little arms where flung around James’s neck as Chris’s smaller body flung itself at him excitedly, the older boy giving a soft laugh, both relieved that Chris liked the gifts and glade that he was so pleased in getting them.
Sarah handed Chris the small bag with James’s Discman and CD after James picked up the younger boy, holding the laptop in his other hand and Sarah picking up the bag with the games, Chris wrapped his arms around the others neck, positioned on James hip for support. Everything seemed so perfect… it was perfect, James would change nothing about this moment and not a single thing about the last week either. Everything was so normal, granted his mother was anything but normal, but still somehow his life managed to remain blissfully unaffected by her work save for the grand living style he seems to have. Nothing could prepare him for what was to come, an encounter that would pull the first thread from his carefully woven life, the vital thread eventually unraveling the entire tapestry that had been created for him in the past week. Because there were people looking for him, people who didn’t know where he was, people who thought he’s run away and just neglected to send word of his safety, people who think he’s in danger, stolen from his home against his will, and possibly still suffering from the condition that unknown drug had induced upon his past self.
TBC: Preferably someone who knows Connor… (His Father?)
It was a stupid idea and Logan knew it. *A mall? What the hell would Connor be doing in a mall. Talk about desperate* he thought disgustedly as he manoeuvred his way through the oh so happy crowd. People moved aside as he passed like a fierce rain cloud on their sunny horizon, backing away from the dangerous looking man with the cheroot clamped between his far too sharp teeth. It wasn’t lit, his concession to the no smoking policy though it was doubtful anyone would have challenged him even if it was. People tended to try to avoid trouble and this guy was trouble incarnate.
It had been five days now since Connor had disappeared from the training island. Five days in which Wolverine had searched. And for what? *Nothing! Zip! Nada!* Every lead he could think of had been run into the ground and he had still come up empty.
No not every lead. Amlarie. He rolled the name round in his mind like a dog worrying a ball. A mysterious woman that a scared kid had seen for five minutes through the bars of a cage. If Hank hadn’t confirmed her existence Logan might have been inclined to think that Michael had imagined her. *She put a toxin in my son* he reminded himself.* Nearly turned him into a murderer. She could have come back for her ‘property’ couldn’t she?* he could feel the ever present anger threatening to boil up again as he thought of his children auctioned off like animals in the Harmony market. Nearby a small child caught the look on his face and exploded into tears. Logan hardly noticed. It was just one of those things that happened around him. Kids and werewolf look alikes. Never a winning combination.
The centre of inquisition had been one of the first places he had checked out when Connor had vanished. It had been right up there at the head of his list with the brotherhood HQ. He growled under his breath thinking of Mystique and her bunch of destructive wanabees. He had been so sure he would find Connor with her. Though he had hated the idea at the time now he wished that she had been behind everything. It would have made life easier. Then all he would have had to have done was smash his way in, collect his son and satisfyingly break a few heads on the way out. Oh and try not to get killed in the process. That went without saying. Simple and effective, just the way he liked thing. Except Connor wasn’t there. Never had been from what Logan could tell. Which left him right back at square one.
It had been the same story at the centre. No scent, no whimpered confessions from those he had caught and ‘persuaded’ to talk to him. He had been reasonable he thought. At least this time there was no trail of bodies in his wake. He had promised himself that there wouldn’t be though at times it had been hard to hold back. Especially when they had tried to kill him. *Thank god for regeneration* he thought ironically. * It may be the reason all these people want to dissect us but you have to admit it does have its uses.* But now there was no one left to question or at least not in that way. Just like there were no leads that could help him find this Amlarie woman.
He thought back again to his talk with Michael. He had been surprised that the youngster had known who he was right off, until Michael had explained about his powers that was. Then he had remembered the strangely dressed young man who had been in the centre of inquisition with his equally unrecognisable children. *I should have known something extra weird was going on* Logan realised. *They had no scent But hey torture a guy for a couple of hours and he not going to be at his shining best is he, so maybe I can let myself off for missing that one.*
Michael had a scent now all right . Heroine. Logan had caught its insidious odour as he had approached the boy, taking in the scrawniness and the crippled legs. *Jesus Bet he wishes he could regenerate* he had thought sympathetically.* How much of this pain is Connor responsible for?*
Not enough for Michael to hold a grudge apparently. The first thing he had done had been to ask if Connor had been found before apologising for not having helped search for him. “ I’ve been a wee bit busy” he had said with a smile that had forced a gruff laugh of response from Logan. The kid didn’t look as if he could stand up without falling over but there was nothing wrong with his sense of humour Or his memory for that matter.
He had told in detail of the effect Amlarie had had upon him his eyes still wistful as he spoke about the feeling of belonging she had given him, if only for a short while. “ I felt like she knew me, really knew me. Everything I had done. Everything I dreamed about doing. All that was good and all that was bad. And despite all my faults she loved me. For myself.” The boys voice had been soft as he had continued. “It was like being home. Warm and safe, with nothing to prove and no need to pretend that you could deal with things all the time. I felt like I could tell her how much things hurt and she wouldn’t have looked away embarrassed or told me to get over it. She’d just have held me for as long as I needed her to hold me and things would have felt better.” There had been an awkward silence then as Michael had realised what he had admitted. “See. Just thinking about her makes me a little crazy” he had said reddening “And she only looked at me for a minute I wasn’t the one she wanted you see; She wasn’t interested in me or Madison. Only Connor.”
*And if I knew why that was maybe I could track them down* Logan reflected. All that Micheal had told him only made him more convinced that Amlarie could be behind his son’s disappearance. *She offered him everything he doesn’t have with me. A home. A sense of belonging * It was a hard admission to make, made all the more so by the fact he didn’t know how to change things. He loved his children more than anything else in the world but for some reason he couldn’t seem to show that to them. He was ready to fight, to kill to die if necessary to protect them but that didn’t count and he knew it. They didn’t need a Wolverine. They needed a father and he wasn’t sure he could be that for them.
Though maybe things weren’t totally hopeless. Something else Michael had said. A glimmer of hope offered shyly as he had been about to leave. “Connor didn’t mean it “ the young Scot had stated suddenly.” When he said he hated you that is.” It had hurt .Just remembering that others had heard what Connor had told him The words had haunted Logan ever since, driving a further wedge between him and his estranged son. Now this kid who had known Connor for what, half a day was daring to sit in judgement?
The growl that had escaped Logan would have quelled anyone but though Michael had paled he hadn’t backed down. *Which was pretty gutsy or pretty stupid considering he knew precisely what claws like mine could do to him* Logan had to admit “I cant tell you how I know but I do” he had gone on resolutely. ” Connor looks up to you even if he won’t admit it. Maybe not even to himself. Anyway I just thought you should know.” Michael had finished with another quick smile “Though don’t tell Connor I told you Ok? I’d kind off like to get out of med lab sometime soon”
Ever since their meeting Logan had thought about what Michael had said. He wanted it to be true The idea that Connor hated him gnawed at him keeping him from peace. If there was the slightest hope that it wasn’t the case then, the merest chance that they could all be a family again then Logan was prepared to grasp it.
Just like he was grasping this straw. Riley had mentioned that sometimes Connor would come down to the mall. It was another sad reflection on the state of things that Logan couldn’t imagine his son doing anything so ordinary. But come on! This place was the closest thing to hell on earth he had found.
People. Too many of them. Noises and lights and smells Dear god the smells. Even after long years of discipline it was still hard not to wince from the sensory overload. Still if he wanted to try to pick up Connors trail he had to keep had to keep his abilities running at maximum no matter how uncomfortable it made him. A thousand different scents mingled with the smell of food,hot dogs, burgers, chilli the food court alone making his stomach heave as he passed it.
Holy @#%$! A sudden wave of perfume hit him with almost physical force. What the hell was this place? A whorehouse?? He staggered back half choking from the aromatherapy shop ignoring the stares of the people around him none of whom came forward to offer assistance. Just as well. He wasn’t in the mood to accept any.
*This is the crappiest idea I’ve ever had he muttered as he waited for his senses to clear. I might as well look for Connor in Dellaneys Bar Id have as much chance of finding him and at least there’s decent beer.* He stood for a moment with his head bent, eyes closed, trying to regain his focus along with any traces of optimism he still had left. But it was no use. *I’ve lost him for good this time* Logan thought despairingly.* Oh God I’ve lost my son!*
Images came flooding back. Michelle, radiant, waiting for the baby to be born. Himself looking down at Connor as he cradled him, to scared to move in case he hurt him. “My hands aren’t made for this” he had said on the verge of panic while Michelle had laughed “Then they’ll just have to learn” she had answered kissing him. Connor walking. Connor flying a kite. Connor with his sisters, looking after the , loving them as Logan had lost the right to. All the memories stored up over the years suddenly unleashed till they became Connor in a mask telling him how much he hated him. *That’s not true,* Logan told himself trying to settle himself somehow, anyhow.* I won’t let it be true.* Still the images wouldn’t stop coming *Why here. Why now* he asked himself. *In this stupid frigging mall…*
His eyes snapped open. Because of the scent! There before him. Unmistakable and unbelievable at the same time. His breath came out shakily, hardly daring to believe what his senses were now screaming at him. A trail! Not just a trail but a fresh one, minutes, could it only be minutes old? Logan inhaled deeply drawing the longed for scent into his nostrils. *He’s here* he told himself stunned by the realisation. *Connor’s nearby *. Swiftly he started to move, a predator closing in on its prey so urgent were his movements. He cut a passage through the crowds like a knife through butter, heading irrevocably towards the small group of shoppers that his senses told him contained his son.
He could see him now. In another few seconds hed be able to touch him. There. Safe. Unharmed. More than that. Happy! The look on his face relaxed and more at peace than at any time Logan could remember. It was a look that stopped Wolverine dead in his tracks, a world of hurt opening up in his own heart. Could it be true what Mystique had said? Had Connor simply walked away from everything without even a word. That was what it looked like seeing him here smiling with these unknown people. *He could have left me like that* Logan thought confused *But not Madison or Arisa. And not his team mates There must be some other explanation There has to be.*
It wasn’t the meeting he had imagined. He hadn’t thought he would actually see Connor in the mall, he had just hoped to pick up his trail. No, he had imagined he would have had to fight to get his son back, hacking his way to freedom in a flurry of claws and blood. *Well maybe Ill still have to fight for him* he thought suddenly *Just not in the same way And I’m damned if I know how go about it.*"Make your peace with your children before its too late* Scott had told him the previous day. Would he be able to do that? *Not if I charge in there like a bull in a china shop. Damn I never thought Id hear myself saying this but maybe its time to take Summer’s advice after all *
Drawing a deep breath he forced himself to relax, the meditation techniques he had learned as a samurai, always ready to be drawn upon when he needed them. *And I need them now that’s for sure* he thought to himself as he felt his tense muscles ease, though the apprehension in his soul remained the same. He knew he had to move. It was only a matter of time before one of the three young people looked around and noticed him hovering there like some sinister freak.* Ok here goes.*
“Connor?” His voice was as gentle as it ever could be but the wealth of emotion behind it was unmistakable despite his efforts.” Are you all right?" He was trembling now trying to stave of the need simply to take Connor in his arms and hold him. “Your sisters… your friends…………”*That’s right always put other people between you and him Can’t you just say it For once just tell him how you feel. Even if it leaves you open and vulnerable. Just once?*“I’ve been worried sick, son” he said shakily. “ I though I’d lost you.”
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
“Connor?” First thought? Well Amlarie started worrying again and sent a worker to pick them up. The younger boy inched closer towards Connor, while Sarah instantly took hold of his wrist when her eyes laid on the imposing stranger. Flaming blue eyes locked on the other male, stout but strong, demanding to be noticed and not overlooked, invoking respect, fear, power. This was someone Connor knew he’d remember if he had passed him in the halls back home in Liberty X. Who are you? The words seemed to echo in the back of Connor’s mind, ready to form on the tip of his tongue, confused by the intense sense of emotion that flowed with the name.
”Are you all right?" It seemed both Chris and Sarah tugged a little on Connor’s form to tell him they didn’t like this situation, Chris cuddled lightly into him, Connor’s hands holding him gently, protectively, with complete assurance. While Connor couldn’t bring himself to look away that didn’t mean he would lower his guard and let Chris get hurt because of the immobilization brought on by surprise and curiosity. The younger boy inched his way from Connor’s hands, slinking around the young man’s legs and joining Sarah behind him. “Your sisters… your friends…………” Sisters? Amlarie never mentioned anything about having sisters… and the prospect of friends… ‘his friends’, it all more then peeked Connor’s willingness to continue just staring in stunned puzzlement. Who are you? Did his family send him? Are people actually looking for him? Wait no… Chris… their mother was dead and their dad was some sort of careless rogue or something, surely Chris would mention if they had sisters, maybe it was a lie, could it be a lie? Was this guy lying to them? But… why? It didn’t make sense…
“I’ve been worried sick, son” Son? The muscles in Connor’s arms always felt tense but right now that tension seemed to be spreading, his chest was tightening and his mind seemed to go into tunnel vision, focused intensely on Logan in a hard troubled stare. It seemed his words repeated themselves numerous times in Connor’s mind, like flashes of lightening, all striking against his mind, sending his thoughts into overdrive and yet stunning him all the more. “I though I’d lost you.” It all seemed so genuine, and the desperate desire to discover who exactly it was that Connor saw while looking in the mirror was enough for anyone who came running to gain his attention… any glimmer of hope to rediscover himself was worth so much to the blue eyed youth. Maybe by son he only meant ‘kid’, people called other younger guys ‘son’ now and then right? Getting all worked up wasn’t going to end well if Connor just kept getting disappointed one time after another.
"I don’t like this James, I mean just look at the guy.. we should go home." Sarah’s voice whispered urgently into Connor’s ear from where she stood behind him, moving closer in attempt to gain more influence over her companion, demanding hands resting their grip on Connor’s upper arms. Connor glanced over his shoulder to look at her with an expression that suggested he didn’t want to leave just yet, a slight annoyance lingering on his features as every part wanted only positive responses in this moment of hope. A hesitant whisper was offered back in hopes of not insulting the man.
"We’re in a shopping mall Sarah, what’s the guy going to do?" For starters he could take away her meal ticket, but even Sarah knew to hold her tongue there and tread very carefully on these grounds. As soon as Connor learned the whole setup was a lie, and that he hadn’t know either of them before his memory blank, then Chris would be back out on the street and more importantly she’d have to start working them again in order to sustain herself. Any chance of Connor leaving was a bad sign. Now the bright burning eyes returned to focus on the strange man who really did seem concern, if a bit gruff, Connor could understand what was putting them off but still… The guy looked as if he was worried.
"Um," Connor found himself a little lost for words, what if Sarah was right, what if this guy was one of the dangerous people Amlarie had warned them about? "Who are you? Did someone send you to find me?" A spark of hope couldn’t help but be heard in his words, the connection into assuming this guy was his father, despite what he said, wasn’t fully made since Connor expected his parent to have the same eyes as he did, and the face Connor imagined to be that of his parents was definitely different. That and Amlarie told him that his last name was Connor, so a father wouldn’t address his son by the last name, would he?
It felt slightly restraining having both Chris and Sarah clinging to him, but at the same time it was sort of comforting, knowing they worried about him so much. But it was an open public place..What could possibly happen while so many people are about? The thought came as assurence against his companion's evident worries, though Connor didn't realize the real reasons of their worries was more to do with anyone finding him and taking their companion away just now then hurting him. Worst case, the guys a thug trying to trick me, mother did warn me of this but still... how can I ignore anyone who may hold the key to regaining my memories. I know she's upset with the accident, but protecting me from everything isn't going to help. If this person really did know who he was... then maybe Connor could see familiar faces, places he spent time at, things he knew before that may help trigger his memory.
Didn't people realize how important it was for Connor? He wanted to remember his mother's face, and his father, though Amlarie explained that his mother may have passed away and his father did a lot of travelling. Did that mean if he did have a dad who worried about him it was entirely possible that the guy didn't even realize he was in trouble? Amlarie said that Connor took care of Chris and they lived with her sometimes months at a time, apparently there was a fight and Connor recently decided to move in permanently with her, currently Connor was under the impression she was his foster mother. And the subject of sisters... what sisters? Amlarie would know if I had sisters.. Chris never mentioned sisters. What sisters? Maybe his dad married someone else? Maybe he had half sisters!
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
He had expected some kind of response. Frustration! Disgust! Welcome? *Yeah in my dreams!*. Even the hatred he so dreaded had been anticipated. But not this. Not confusion and denial.* He has no idea who I am* Logan realised *How can that be??*
The people with him were reacting though, as if he had the plague. He was used to people backing away, their senses somehow alert to the predator that dwelled untamed within him. But this was different. Or maybe he was just paranoid. "I don’t like this James, I mean just look at the guy.. we should go home” the girl said, urgently pulling at Connor’s arm. James? What was this crap? And just where was home supposed to be?? Not the paradise Michael had described from the looks of things.*Or maybe blood is stronger than water after all. Despite all this Amlarue broad has to offer* Logan wondered as he held his breath, waiting for his son to react.
"We’re in a shopping mall Sarah, what’s the guy going to do” Connor said hesitantly ,his voice betraying a faint hint of annoyance. *And just for once I’m not the target* Logan thought grimly.*See. All you need is complete memory loss and we get on just fine.*I
t wasn’t funny though. Far from it. Logan didn’t know who these people were but it was obvious they were close to Connor .Their scent was all over him. Intimate. Familly. Some screwed up setup that he might just prefer to real life .And if that was the case what should h he do? Walk away? Leave Connor to this illusion?
*Screw that!* If he had been sure that Connor had made the decision for himself then maybe he would have let go After all he had tried to do as much for Arisa. What a great choice that was. *Let a fifteen year old make their own way in the world. You must be up for the parent of the year award on that decision.* he thought with a sigh.* One of the all time high points of your life*
But it wasn’t the moment to be thinking about what he had already messed up. He had to try to save something from the present situation with Conner.*.James. He thinks his name is James* Logan reminded himself. *How can that be?? What the hell has happened to him?*
That was the million dollar question wasn’t it? Though Wolverine was far from having any satisfactory answer. It seemed Connor was in the same boat. Was that a good sign or a bad one ? Logan couldn’t tell. He could only wait as his son struggled with his own personal dilemma. "Um,* Connor said drawing the kid closer to him protectively" Come on Conner remember who I am* Logan urged.*Even of the memories stink!* But it didn’t work"Who are you? Did someone send you to find me?" his son asked , all memories of their previous life together obviously wiped from his mind.
“No one had to send me Conner” he replied earnestly , the deadly claws sheathed once again, his hands falling helplessly at his side.”” I’m your father. Where else would I be but out looking for you”. Crap! Anyone could say that But there were things that couldn’t be changed Things that Conner would be sure to recognise
“ Just take a deep breath” he urged.”Take in my scent and yours.If you cant trust my words at least trust your own senses They cant lie” It was a blatant truth carried on their DNA. *You know I’m your father There’s no mistaking the scent.” Hell Connor”, he said as he slipped the adamantine claws through the fragile flesh and held them up.” We’re the same you and I. Can’t you see that?”
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
“No one had to send me Conner” Really the teen wasn’t sure what to make of that reply, was that a good thing or a bad thing? Did no one have to send him because there wasn’t anyone out there who cared enough or did no one have to send him because he would come no matter what? Or was there another part to all this? The second thought was actually a little pleasing, the first was far from such and the latter was just another trail of clueless hopes that in the end would probably just be slashed along with so many others Connor made up to comfort himself. The way the gruff brut spoke, the way he looked, despite all the warning bells someone of his appearance would logically bring, Connor didn’t feel threatened, a little nervous sure, but not to a point he was willing to just turn tail and run.
”I’m your father. Where else would I be but out looking for you”. Images raced through Connor’s mind, all faceless, soundless even, nothing but a vague sense of emotions which drifted along with them, but coming and going to quickly to actually register with any degree of luck. It wasn’t the face Connor had pictured, or the stature, or the voice, nothing was what Connor dreamed up, half hoping the self made images were based even just partially on the truth. There was no loving set of sea blue eyes staring back at him, no gleam to them as light caught the iris, no strong face which Connor could to look up to, the man was shorter then what the daydreams foretold.
A lie. It had to be, what sort of woman would find herself drawn to this… this stout muscle bound man who radiated a menacing feel to those around him? Connor could see it in the passing glances, the way Chris and Sarah clung to him, even deep down a tinge of caution warned him to keep alert. If someone were to tell Connor at this point that he had lost his temper and actually shoved his way past this formidable man he would have definitely been surprised. One time was with Shalimar Creed and her brother while in the Kitchen with Madison one day and, as luck would have it, Wolverine happened on the scene and tried to make peace as a fight had broken out between them, only to have Connor shove the older man off when a gentle hand was placed to calm the son down. It was far too late to make peace, or at least definitely the wrong time, there and then Connor wanted nothing more to do with the guy, leaving Madison to witness the pain in their father’s eyes as Connor shot the elder man down and went on the verge of disowning their father all with so few words. That was Connor’s weapon, he could say so little and yet imply so much, he didn’t need claws to cut people down, just a few carefully chosen words were more then enough. Wolverine may have felt guilty for not coming to their rescue when Agamemnon took them, but that didn’t mean Connor was able to deal with his father’s missing presence any better. Out of all the times Logan vanished, and all the other times he was off on missions, part of Connor always knew there were reasons behind it, some more serious then others, but despite all the discontent Connor had there was the thought that if his father was so passionate about saving the world, then maybe one day when Connor or his sisters needed him, he would be there to save them as well. That day did come, but not their father.
How can one react to someone claiming to be their father though? I don’t believe you. But Sarah did, her eyes a muddled fog of nerves, anger and impatience. The usually tender fingers gripped firmer on Connor’s upper arms, not by accident either as she knew how tender his muscles were from the constant strain they were under while being semi-paralyzed by an individual tiny implant located on each arm which restrain the particular muscles responsible for controlling his now adamantium coated claws. Discomfort appeared on Connor’s features along with the confusion now, an undeniable air of distrust building as the legends son examined his father who was as unfamiliar to him as all the other strange faces in the mall.
“Just take a deep breath” That’s actually a good idea, Connor agreed while still summing up the situation. ”Take in my scent and yours.If you cant trust my words at least trust your own senses They cant lie” And that’s.. quite an insane idea. He’s mental,. Running around sniffing other people’s armpits had honestly never occurred to Connor, and the amnesiac was pretty sure the same goes for the rest of the population. “You know I’m your father There’s no mistaking the scent.” Hell Connor”, It was a sickening sound that followed, a grinding of metal scrapping against metal, and then the sight wasn’t any better as blades sliced out through thin flesh that covered the mans knuckles, blood seeping from the ripped skin for a moment before stopping. ”We’re the same you and I. Can’t you see that?” Sarah screamed, startled and taken back though her cry didn’t even cause Connor to flinch as it should have, instead all bravery fled as Connor came face to face with knives that stabbed a strong sense of fear and yet more confusion inside of the young man. The claws weren’t entirely strange to the eyes, X-23 had two similar sets on her hands, though Connor knew of her foot claw he hadn’t seen it before but Amlarie had told him a little bit about her. Amlarie talked of her as being Connor’s cousin, and now this guy claims to be his dad? Was it possible? Connor didn’t have claws though, he had aching arms and that’s all that was special about them, though he was recovering from the accident so the pain would go away when he was healed… at least he hoped so.
"Sarah.. he’s like X-23," Stunned, Connor backed away a little, Chris instinctively grabbing at the bags as pulling them back towards him, an old habit of defending what little he or his mother owned. "Wasn’t she an assassin?" Sarah whispered back under her breath, this was all more then she was willing to be part of, when Amlarie pulled her off the streets it seemed like a great deal, but now it was turning out to be riskier then a night out with strange male costumers. While Connor assumed the guy was a little bit of a nut, or a complete one, the suppressed mutant wondered if the stranger was confusing him with X-23 somehow. "Go, give mum a call." In truth Sarah didn’t have to be told twice when Connor uttered his orders, only making a half hearted effort to tell Chris to leave the bags he was tugging along as they moved further back to a safer point where young child stopped and turned to watch Connor. Surely no harm would come to him in the mall, not with people watching, and more stopped and watched on now that the man had those blades out in view. There definitely wouldn’t be even a meek show of bravery if the scenery was different, for example a dark ally and no witnesses was certainly not a place Connor would have felt safe standing alone in with this guy.
"Obviously my sense of hope outweighs my sense of logic, but I bet that’s what you were counting on right?" Filthy brutes really were as unscrupulous as his foster mother told them. "I have a brother, not sisters, my parents know I’m with my foster mother and they haven’t so much as called, most likely because my father is too busy globe trotting to be as informed as the rest of us about the accident." It stung inside to think that his dad actually was aware that problems had occurred and he was just too busy to get around to picking up a phone or dropping by. Sending the others off would mean they’d definitely get in contact with Amlarie and she’d send help, surely this knucklehead wouldn’t try anything with all these people, more then a few who had their heads turned and their mouths slack in shock of the glistening claws. "You made another mistake, my cousin is the one with the claws.. so did you want to try changing that story?" Often Connor just recalled the thoughts that Madison was the one who could read him like a book, the two might as well have been twins the way they read each other so perfectly. Only that wasn’t true, Michelle knew all her kids inside out, she knew every expression and every sulk, she figured out how to decode the seriousness of each guilty glance. But while Wolverine may not know what expressions meant ‘I had trouble at school’ compared to ‘I’m having trouble with my powers’ or the extremely difficult to decode ‘I don’t like this’ cover up Connor sometimes used when determined not to hurt someone’s feelings. His father was able to read enough into his family to know at least the basics and have a growing understanding of their private language, especially when it came to the kind Logan was more familiar with, which usually boiled down to the negative situations like ‘We’re not really listening to you’ or other similar awkward situations that usually could fool an un knowing eye. Madison especially had the ability to see as if she was paying full attention when in truth she had other things on her mind or just wasn’t going to take heed to what was being said. And this was one of them, the one where Connor hanged around to give his sisters a chance to slink off if there was some problem, usually started by them but Madison wasn’t one who liked being told off and it wasn’t rare for things to get worse if groundings started getting issued. Arisa would just sneak off out her window or shapeshift and slink off when their dad had his back turned. Madison, well IF she actually did as she was told and stayed in the apartment then she never acted as if it was such a bad thing, sometimes it even bugged Connor to see her blasé way of handling things.
Right now it was a bluff, a distraction, a pay attention to me and don’t concern yourself with the others slinking off. I’m who you’d rather want, or if that wasn’t the case there was still that air of defense where Connor just might make sure he was the one with attention focused on him, he was eldest, it was always his responsibility to take the fall for things. The memories may be gone but the personality wasn’t, as long as Sarah had a chance to call Amlarie and escape, Connor didn’t really care what dangers he was put in, he could make a break for it the instant they were safely hidden away.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection*Well that was a great idea* Logan thought as he heard the girls terrified scream and saw the confusion in his sons eyes. And yet…..Connors powers were a part of him. The claws The heightened senses They weren’t just something you could forget about. That didn’t make sense. But then none of the things that Connor was saying made sense. X23? Who the hell was that? Not someone you’d want your kids to hang out with apparently *But then you could say the same about me Logan reminded himself cynically. Then his son said "Go, give mum a call." and Logan’s heart stopped.
Mum. Connor only had one mum. Logan's wife. Michelle. The woman who had held him and loved him The woman who had died in Logan’s arms. It surprised Wolverine how much it hurt hearing Connor refer to someone else as mum. He hadn’t been ready for it. How could he have been. All of this was new territory. Only four days had gone past and Connor had what? A new life A new family?. It just wasn’t possible. And yet it was happening.
"Obviously my sense of hope outweighs my sense of logic, but I bet that’s what you were counting on right?" Connor said, hostility clear in his voice. *Think Logan* Wolverine told himself urgently, vainly trying to find some explanation for what was happening. “It was like being home. Warm and safe, with nothing to prove and no need to pretend that you could deal with things all the time Suddenly Michael’s words came back to him. That woman in Harmony Market! Amlarie She had made Michael feel like that. And she had only looked at him for a moment What would happen if you spent time with her. Four days for example. Would you forget everything else? Would the dream become reality.
. "I have a brother, not sisters, the young man who called himself James continued. my parents know I’m with my foster mother and they haven’t so much as called, most likely because my father is too busy globe trotting to be as informed as the rest of us about the accident."
*So its foster mother is it?* Strangely enough that helped. Whatever else had happened Michelle’s place hadn’t been usurped *Neither has mine come to think of it* Logan thought ironically *I’m still the villain of the piece The one who’s never there when you need him. Guess some things never change.
Like his sons courage. No claws had sprung out from his knuckles as they would have scant days before. But Connor was still defending the ones he cared about and Logan was as proud of him at that moment as he had ever been. It took guts to stand up to Wolverine and Logan knew that. He knew how he looked standing there with the deadly adamantine blades jutting from his hands. Brutal. Dangerous. Like the savage animal for whom he was named.*Not the ideal dad* he thought bitterly.*Not the ideal family when you get right down to it. Maybe I should walk away and leave him with this fairy tale. I could do that.* Logan thought suddenly. *If it was what Connor wanted If I believed that he had asked her to do this to him.*
But he didn’t believe it. Not for one minute. There had been a light in Connors eyes when Logan had claimed him as a son. ‘Obviously my sense of hope outweighs my sense of logic’ he had said. Hope for something else. Something this Amlarie hadn’t been able to give him despite all her efforts. *He wants what he has always wanted.* Logan realised. *A father who cares about him. Well he’s got that. Shame I’m not the knight in shining armour every kid dreams about but hell I’m here now A bit late maybe. But not too late.Now I have to make him see that.*
"You made another mistake, my cousin is the one with the claws.. so did you want to try changing that story?" Defiance Always one of Connors strong points. “Naw. I like it”Wolverine replied with a wry smile "mainly because it’s the truth. But I could change my way of telling it."
He looked down at the claws he had unsheathed. “I thought these would jog your memory” he said as he retracted them not even flinching as the flesh opened to receive them. "but all they did was scare you. And your friends." he said glancing at the worried figures of Sarah and Chris. "Not my brightest idea. But then I’ve been out looking for you for four days and nights now and you know how cranky I get when I’m tired Or at least you would know. If you could remember that is."
"So what say we try this again." he continued reasonably. "We get a cup of coffee. We talk.You call me Logan I'll call you James or whatever you want to be called. I promise not to pull the feral mutant from hell stunt. You promise to listen. That’s all I ask. Think we can do that?
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
“Naw. I like it” Staring on with uncertainty at the man, although making little sense at the same time there was little feel of threat from him, and Connor couldn’t help but feel strangely inclined to listen. Was it because some part recognized vague aspects of the guy or was it just because the young man was so desperate for that normal family scenario all children in broken homes often dreamt for? "mainly because it’s the truth. But I could change my way of telling it." If only Connor knew, if only it all made sense, if the lies were as easily spotted as grim on a window, and just as easily cleaned away to cease bothering him with false hopes and twisted tales. A lie for sure was to say things where he was were absolutely perfect… things with Sarah were nice most of the time but she didn’t seem to know what pleased Connor, it was like they had never been friends before, the simple things were important too and if they really did have a long term relationship then why was he bothered by her lack of attention or mishandling of certain situations. Instead of putting up with Connor’s unusual habits or carefully dissuading him when he got caught up in something, she’d just get impatient and annoyed if she found it bothersome or humiliating, like if it was in public or in front of other people.
Chris always seemed perfect but he seemed just as confused about Connor’s habits as Connor was, and Sarah, but although Connor never really thought of it to a great extent it did make sense that even if he did things and he wasn’t sure entirely why he did get wrapped up in them, shouldn’t those closest to him be used to it by now? Or was it something new, something that started after the memory loss? It didn’t seem logical, and Connor wasn’t appreciating the reactions Sarah often had when she’d find him half way through organizing something, be it clothes or once even her clutter of make up that just swelled up anxiety and frustration every time Connor tried to ignore the mess. Sometimes he found himself just staring at things, things he knew he should probably leave alone, that he’d get someone elses feathers all fluffed up if he did anything about it, but his mind wouldn’t let it rest, even picturing exactly what he’d do if he could just get there and start sorting it out. Amlarie wouldn’t even really talk about Connor’s parents, she said it wasn’t the right time just yet, that ‘James’ needed time to recover properly, that there were some things that were going to upset him greatly and she wasn’t sure it was fair to load it all onto him at once. There’s was something wrong with his mother, he knew that, alive, dead, it was all too vague, his father was out of the picture most of the time, basically that’s all Connor knew.
“I thought these would jog your memory” A look of discomfort settled over Connor’s expression as his eyes seemed caught on the bloody knuckles, yet more confusion as well as the cuts closed up. A mutant. Connor never really thought about it, made sense his parents, or at least one, were different, it would explain Connor’s eyes… maybe even the occasional odd animal like behavior Connor exhibited. Come to think of it, Amlarie did say that Connor healed a fraction faster then most people, but she didn’t make it sound anything like what he just witnessed. "but all they did was scare you. And your friends." A half glance over his shoulder was given to check up Chris and spot Sarah hanging up her phone, which meant cavalry was on it’s way… It was amazing mall security wasn’t tackling down the older man for the simple fact he flashed dangerous ‘knives’ in a family environment. Iridescent blue eyes once against focused on the gruff man, the scattering of mall lights reflecting off his iris’s like some hapless creature caught between oncoming headlights from in all directions.
"Not my brightest idea. But then I’ve been out looking for you for four days and nights now and you know how cranky I get when I’m tired Or at least you would know. If you could remember that is." It was insane, there was no way this guy was Connor’s father, why didn’t he know where to find him if the man really had been looking all this time? They all said his living arrangements with Amlarie were known to others involved in Connor’s life, that everyone knew where to find him and by the weekend Amlarie had said she would try and bring some of his friends over to spend time with him.
"So what say we try this again." None of this made any sense, if the nutter really was a nut then he wouldn’t be holding things together so well after each negative response Connor made in reply. Maybe he was a clever trickster, but even then, Connor never understood why Amlarie was telling him that he was in so great a danger, why would anyone be interested in him? "We get a cup of coffee. We talk.You call me Logan I'll call you James or whatever you want to be called. I promise not to pull the feral mutant from hell stunt. You promise to listen. That’s all I ask. Think we can do that?" 'Follow your heart.' That’s what Amlarie said, she could warn him about all sorts of dangers but she wasn’t going to lock him away inside her home as she once had been confined. A life of freedom was a dangerous one but a life of confinement was not a life at all. Even if this lead to a dead end at least Connor would know where it goes, or didn’t go, in any case, was he prepared to turn away any chances of finding out more about himself?
"What have I to lose? Anyway, unless there’s another name I’m not privy to, then yes, James will do just fine." There was a slight sarcasm in the tone that sadly told how little Connor was aware of, how twisted his life had become, so full of lies and deceit, something which always frustrated Connor to no end when he’d ask his father where he may have been during a long absence and got nothing but a vague response or obvious lie. In the end Connor would have preferred the lies to the truth, after the sordid scenario with Mystique Connor wasn’t sure he could handle knowing that his father was with other woman… There may have been a lot of things which forced Connor to grow up in many ways, but that didn’t mean he could understand things he had no experience in, and his anger would only blind him from seeing his father’s side.
"But on my terms, and not here. There’s a café called ‘Station Road’ that isn’t too far from here, it’s new I think but easy to find. If you want to talk then be there in an hour, if you don’t come, or you’re late, then don’t bother showing up again." Spite leaked in at the end, which admittedly caught Connor himself off guard, he wanted to be professional, and that definitely wasn’t the way to speak to someone important but the truth of that had yet been proven… If this guy turned out to be a fake then it was another hope dashed, but even if he was the real deal Connor wasn’t sure if he could take knowing that this so called father couldn’t even arrive on time when something important was concerned… which is what Amlarie said was one of his father’s biggest problems.
"James," When Sarah called him Connor was close to speaking again, wanting to try and say something else so not to leave the conversation off on a negative point, it wasn’t the start Connor had pictured when thinking of family reunions. A look around showed faces Connor actually did recognize, the trio were constantly followed at a good enough distance so it wasn’t a surprise that a few of Amlarie’s guards were already in the mall while others discreetly made their way in. For all Connor currently knew it was an unfair odd, seven against one, but he didn’t remember that the odds were still in that one’s favor, and it was the others who were the unlucky lot.
"Go with them, I’ll follow in a minute," It was more said to Chris since Sarah was already making her way towards the casual dressed guardian’s, Chris trailed after her but still kept an eye on Connor. The older boy was every bit the family the abandoned homeless child had ever dreamed off, even when he had his mother he never felt as secure and close as he did with Connor. While Chris’s mother was more focused on how and where to get her next meal ticket, even spending nights away with other men and leaving Chris on the streets alone, Connor made it seem as if Chris’s welfare and happiness was one of the most important highlights of his day. If the stranger really was his father, then there was a chance he would lose that, and it didn’t seem fair since when Connor first arrived and had been talking with Amlarie, he had sounded so angry with his dad.
"Tell me one thing first, why were you looking for me?" A hand had begun rubbing his other arm, firm fingertips massaging the tender sore muscles absent mindedly as Connor spoke. "As in, why didn’t you just go to where I’m living? You have found me sooner if you looked for me at home." It made sense, after all, wouldn’t the foster mother be the ideal woman to speak with first if having difficulties finding him? Nothing seemed to fit in place, but even from Amlarie’s side things weren’t adding up, when someone loses their memories, then isn’t it likely people would make an effort to visit him? He didn’t want to doubt her, but there were so many things that seemed a little off and eventually it was too hard to blissfully ignore.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
There were goons moving in now. Not the mall security but then he’ never really expected them to turn up It was amazing how few people were ready to put their lives on the line against someone like him Oh sure they were quick enough at turning into a mob when it was some poor kid with green skin or antenna. But claws and a killer attitude .Somehow that made you stop and think.
No these looked more like bodyguards. The question was were they there to protect Connor or to take him away and hide him somewhere Logan would have no chance of finding him. That wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to lose his son again. But then he might do just that if he fought. @#%$ he had promised not to scare them. How would Connor react if he casually turned the mall into his own private blood bath. Not well he presumed *So lets just hope it doesn’t come to that* he thought with a sigh.
The guys didn’t necessarily look like mutants but you could never tell And all it took was one teleporter and the trail could be lost *I can always backtrack* he reminded himself* I can at least find where he came from eve if I lose track of where he’s going.* Would that be enough? It might have to be. Unless he could persuade Connor here and now to go with him.
"What have I to lose? Connor said after a moment A chance! Albeit a slim one. [b]"Anyway, unless there’s another name I’m not privy to, then yes, James will do just fine."[/b]
Logan let out the breath he had unconsciously been holding as he had waited for his son to answer. *There has to be something I can say that will convince him I'm telling the truth*he thought *I just have to find it*
However a moment later it was clear that things weren’t going to be a simple as that as Connor continued. "But on my terms, and not here. *Damn it* Logan groaned inwardly. Of all the lessons he could have remembered he had to choose suspicion. "There’s a café called ‘Station Road’ that isn’t too far from here, it’s new I think but easy to find. If you want to talk then be there in an hour, if you don’t come, or you’re late, then don’t bother showing up again."
It was a good plan. At any other time he’d have been glad to accept it. It left doors open for negotiation and got them out of this situation of confrontation which their chance meeting had thrust them into. It just didn’t take into account the fact that these bodyguards could whisk Connor away whether he wanted them too or not. And what then? Another quick round of brainwashing? Wolverine could feel his hackles rise at that prospect.
"James," It was the girl who spoke her voice scared but insistent urging Connor to walk away. But just what was she afraid of? Him. Or what he represented. Not a crazy mutant but someone who claimed to be ‘James’ father Just what did these two kids who had been hanging around with Connor know about all this? Had their memories been changed too or were they part of the scam. That was something he’d dearly like to know, though he wasn’t about to start ripping the answers out of them. *I have to get Connor to ask his own questions.* he realised. *If they’re lying to him he’ll know it soon enough. He’s a smart kid.*
"Go with them, I’ll follow in a minute," Connor said obviously not yet ready to break off their conversation Which was a good sign wasn’t it? The girl obeyed straight away but the boy lingered not apparently not wanting to abandon James even if he was pretty close to being terrified himself. *One plus point for him* Logan thought as he watched him leave.* Maybe he’s not just along for the ride. That could be useful or it could be the biggest complication in this whole mess. No way to tell at present.*
He waited for Connor to speak knowing that he had something on his mind. He could still read him well enough to see that. Something that bothered him judging from the way he rubbed his arm as if willing the claws to come out. Logan hoped that they would. It would be kind of hard to deny they were father and son with a fistful of steel telling you therwise. But they didn’t. Instead it was a question which emerged "Tell me one thing first, Connor said antagonisticly "why were you looking for me? As in, why didn’t you just go to where I’m living? You have found me sooner if you looked for me at home."
“I was at home son” he said simply *you weren’t. The Xavier Institute for gifted youngsters That’s where you live at present .You and your sisters are students there.. I teach.* Logan explained hoping something would strike a bell. "Not maths and physics but then you probably guessed that. More like…… survival techniques. That’s what I’m good at. And so are you.
“Four days ago you were out training with the other students when you disappeared. No trail. Nothing. Just gone. I know its hard to believe but it’s the truth Though I don’t know how I can convince you. Wait though…..
He stopped then an idea coming to him Crazy maybe but worth a shot. "It we go to this café this is how it will go down" he said suddenly; "Ill have a double expresso. Ill keep it well away from you cos you don’t like the smell Its too strong. You on the other hand will have a hot chocolate caffeine makes you hyper but hot chocolate you love that Its sweet without being too much No sugar high like you get from fizzy drinks and stuff. Desperately he tried to call up allt he things that made Connor who he was. The things that would maybe have survived a mind wipe. The things a father would know about his son.
"It always bothers you that I put the spoon down on the table any old how." he went on with a smile. "You want to reach across and straighten it. Sometimes you can’t resist the temptation but then you have to fix the napkin as well. And the sugar bowl and whatever else is out of place. Till you get it just the way you like Then you can relax. Its like your room. Your room is the tidiest room any kid ever had and when the mood takes you you’ll sort out everyone else’s stuff as well. Which drives Madi wild.
Maybe he sounded mad but he didn’t care. Did this so called foster mum know these things. Did his girlfriend or his cousin orhis brother? “You like apples but you love nachis.” he went on “They have to be washed in pure water though otherwise the chemicals spoil the taste. You don’t drink anything that’s comes out of a plastic bottle or use plastic cups. You buy small glass bottles of coke and then let it go flat so that the bubbles dont sting. Shall I go on?
One last thing. *Yeah They couldn’t change that even if they wanted to.*"You don’t have any scars or marks on you anywhere. Not even a scrape from when you were little." he said finally . "Because you’re like me You heal to fast for them to form."
“Now tell me” Logan asked looking up into the bright blue eyes "how would I know all that if I didn’t know you? "
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
“I was at home son” Not really the response Connor was braced for, but it trailed even further off track as “you weren’t. The Xavier Institute for gifted youngsters That’s where you live at present .You and your sisters are students there.. I teach.” Bright eyes dropped down to stare the possible parent from the tips of his shoes all the way up to the bizarre hairstyle. The guy didn’t exactly look like someone who would get hired to teach students. "Not maths and physics but then you probably guessed that. More like…… survival techniques. That’s what I’m good at. And so are you.” Something he was good at? What sort of survival techniques? It was important to know what his talents were but at the same time it was frustrating that he had to be told them like this. What else was he good at? And what did Logan mean by the fact they lived at a school? It wasn’t exactly the homey picture Connor had been dreaming up, then again he was supposedly a student at a good school, so he had figured he may board there if his dad really did travel too much to have a home and Amlarie wasn’t all that close to his school from what he knew. Xavier’s Institute? It didn’t sound very warm and welcoming, why not Xavier’s Uni, or Xavier’s Collage or Xavier’s Higher Learning. Institute sounded off putting, at least for Connor.
“Four days ago you were out training with the other students when you disappeared. No trail. Nothing. Just gone. I know its hard to believe but it’s the truth Though I don’t know how I can convince you. Wait though…..” Four days? Since his memory was lost? Connor frowned slightly in thought as he analyzed the information. If he was with a group how did he just disappear? Then again anything was possible, Connor had gotten to know who Amlarie had around and if there were people like X-23 and Oraya then it was possible for anyone to disappear. Flaming blue eyes turned to look for where Chris and Sarah had walked off, Chris was still in sight, standing on one of the seats in the food court and trying to look over the heads of taller people, two of Amlarie’s men stood beside the table, one talking to Chris and the other distracted with nearby groups. It almost brought a smile to see Chris there, just like when Connor was laying in the medical room his kid brother never left the bedside, unless he was told to by the attendants.
"It we go to this café this is how it will go down" Attention was once again drawn towards Wolverine, Connor’s curious gaze unable to hide itself as he gave the older man full his attention. "Ill have a double expresso. Ill keep it well away from you cos you don’t like the smell Its too strong. You on the other hand will have a hot chocolate caffeine makes you hyper but hot chocolate you love that Its sweet without being too much No sugar high like you get from fizzy drinks and stuff." The smell? The taste of one might be a bit much but Connor can’t say if he would be bothered by the smell of it. Though Chris liked Chocolate and so they had made some every night before bed and Connor did like it, but then, who didn’t like hot chocolate?
"It always bothers you that I put the spoon down on the table any old how." A spoon? They were talking about hot drinks and not clean spoons, and it did bug Connor beyond what Sarah considered normal whenever she placed her teaspoon down and the coffee or chocolate from the spoon would dirty the surface of the table. Or even worse was when she just threw it onto the table and let the spoon scatter to a halt in whatever position it ended up in, no order whatsoever. How could it not bother people the same way it bothered him? "You want to reach across and straighten it. Sometimes you can’t resist the temptation but then you have to fix the napkin as well. And the sugar bowl and whatever else is out of place. Till you get it just the way you like Then you can relax. Its like your room. Your room is the tidiest room any kid ever had and when the mood takes you you’ll sort out everyone else’s stuff as well. Which drives Madi wild." Connor’s eyes dropped away from Logan’s face and lingered low, not really staring at the ground but still looking in its direction. Was everyone bothered by the silly quirks he had? It had only been four days of getting familiar with himself but that sort of compulsive need was more then just an occasionally noticed trait, Connor always seemed distracted by one thing or another. Madi. The name sounded familiar, like something he knew once, just on the tip of his mind but he knew no matter how hard he tried the thoughts just wouldn’t come. Four days may not seem long but they felt like it to Connor and he was already losing hope that he will recall everything, if anything at all.
“You like apples but you love nachis.” Still more information came spilling out, apples… he had a longing for apples the other day, but Sarah hates apples, she likes oranges though, which were nice still… but Connor and Chris stuck with the mandarins she also bought. They were sweeter. “They have to be washed in pure water though otherwise the chemicals spoil the taste. You don’t drink anything that’s comes out of a plastic bottle or use plastic cups. You buy small glass bottles of coke and then let it go flat so that the bubbles dont sting. Shall I go on?” Wow… this old him sounded picky as hell. It looked as if his finicky attitude wasn’t limited to tidiness. However before Connor could reply in any form, the older feral went on to add one last bit of info he found vital. "You don’t have any scars or marks on you anywhere. Not even a scrape from when you were little." On a grand scale that was true, but Connor saw the knuckle wounds heal, if they heal that fast then there was no way Connor was like him, his healing barely got right of a needle mark till about half an hour later. "Because you’re like me You heal to fast for them to form." Impervious to scars eh? Connor liked the sound of that to some extent, but then was put off a little as well, that meant he really was a mutant, not just his eyes but there was something else wrong with him. It wasn’t that he didn’t like mutants, Amlarie had no way of hiding herself from the truth of her genetics, but Sarah made his eyes sound like something she tolerated now that she knew him a little better. The young woman could push all the wrong buttons but she also could push all the right ones and while it was confusing Connor figured they must have been through a lot in order to have been together for… however long. Come to think of it, this Logan hadn’t even batted an eyelash towards either of them, Chris or Sarah, a father would know a girlfriend and a step son, wouldn’t he?
“Now tell me” Inquisitive eyes studied the features of the older man, who also had his gaze turned towards Connor, "how would I know all that if I didn’t know you?" It was a good point, it had its faults, but paranoia could pick a fault with anything, even if it was perfect.
"I could have an online diary I’m not aware of." Connor casually suggested, though there was a hint of it just being a sarcastic tease, carrying the same attitude he often used when making a light hearted jest towards his sisters. "I was told that I heal a little quicker then normal," The tone had both a ‘but not that big a deal’ ring to it and also ended with something of an unsaid ‘but’. Connor wasn’t going to open up and get into details but he didn’t need to, the discomfort he felt in his arms was probably become more obvious he kept distracting himself by massaging the upper arms each time he needed to find something to occupy his hands with. As now again the opposite arm was getting attention in a brief rub which did little to help the stiff cramps.
"As for the flat Soda, I had a fizzy cherry cola earlier today which was nice," But the other comments Logan brought up did bother him, maybe because a part of Connor just hoped that the needy compulsions were a peculiar side effect of his amnesia. To say he liked to just have things tidy was somewhere along the truth, but when he kept trying to put himself off from tidying up Sarah’s make up, it didn’t just end there. He kept thinking about it, thinking about how unorganized and untidy and then he’d think about how he’d fix them up, which went where, how to organize the lipsticks according to either shades or colours. Surely it wasn’t natural to stay awake with troubles of that nature, there were times things like that didn’t bother him as much, but to some extent there was always some part of his mind stuck on what he was ignoring, being an untidy bed, dish in the sick or a missing sock which made its pair stick out like a sore thumb amongst all the other neatly assembled socks.
"Four days..?" It seemed too much, why would he just go missing, did that mean Amlarie just took him from his home? Why would she have done that though? The way he felt towards her, she would have only needed to ask, Connor was positive of that… maybe she did ask, maybe he run away or just took off without telling anyone thinking he’d be right back? Connor looked back towards where Chris had been standing but he had been taken out to the car while Connor started talking to Logan. The blue eyed youth didn’t even notice his supposed kid brother protesting a little wanting to wait so they all leave together. It felt different now that Connor was alone, he felt vulnerable, this guy could say anything and no one was around to tell Connor otherwise, not that his companions had been much help… it did hurt a little that Sarah didn’t even seem at all interested in staying around to see how he was coping with all this.
"Why would anyone take me?" It was absurd, it was just another way of twisting things around, even if this Logan was his dad, or an uncle, or some distant relative, that didn’t make Amlarie any less of his foster mother so why would she feel the need to just take him? "Why would Amlarie tell me you traveled with you’re just a teacher? Why would everyone be telling me different things as to what you’re saying? What makes you think I should believe you above a handful of other people all saying relatively the same things but entirely different to you?" But not exactly, that was the problem here wasn’t it, no one was making perfect sense or telling the exact truth as far as Connor could guess when taking it all in. Dates and tales sometimes overlapped, and why did everyone act as if he could learn more about his parents until he was feeling better? Not even a name, not a description or a photo, nothing, nothing until they decided he was feeling better.
"What about everything you got wrong?" Now Connor’s voice was taking on agitation as well as frustration, who he was angry at Connor wasn’t entirely sure but right now this guy, this Logan, he was here, he was here to yell at for everything that was going wrong. "I’m sure I would have noticed metal knives in my arms, but I haven’t, because there isn’t, the only thing wrong with my arms are the constant cramps that even that stupid healing thing won’t make go away." Perhaps cramps were a better evil then what this guy had though, it all too scary a thought to actually believe the man, to think that those things were inside him and he didn’t know it. "So I like sweets, everyone likes damn sweets and hot chocolates," More eyes half turned to them to watch the spectacle, that’s what this was, Connor’s own private hell open for all to entertain themselves watching. A few steps back were taken, followed by one forward and then a disorientated look around, torn between just running off on everyone or staying here or… or going towards the guard which had returned for him. Connor only gave the brown haired man a brief glance, knowing it was one of Amlarie’s men since Connor had seen him at Liberty X before, now he was in jeans and a earthy plaid shirt instead of a suit and tie.
But what about the cleaning? How could he know of that? There was a part of Connor that rationalized his odd trait as a subconscious way of rediscovering himself, cleaning his room was bound to get him in contact with all sorts of items, none of which had triggered any memories as he had been hoping for. The supposed stranger even knew how hard it was to resist it, but he tried, though if he gave into it then he just went all the way, once he started it was so hard to just stop.
"Proof, give me proof then, a photo, anything, none of you are ever giving me anything to go on." Right now words just weren’t enough, there had to be more, something that at least gave a glimmer of hope, sure proof could be created and made up just like words, but it wasn’t as easy… it couldn’t be, otherwise what hope did Connor have? Why were people making things so difficult for him? What had he done to deserve this?
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
He had given it his best shot though he could see it wasn’t enough. But then when had he ever been able to talk to Connor. Really talk about the things that mattered. Not since Mystique had waltzed in and screwed up his life,that much was certain. Even then if he’d been the sort of man that could open up easily maybe he could have fixed that whole mess as well. But the hurt had been too deep on both sides and somehow the words had stayed unsaid until it was too late.
I was waiting for the right time* he told himself bitterly. *To tell Michelle how it all happened To explain things to the kids.* Conner and Madison had been to young to understand what was going on between their parents all those years ago though not to young to have been affected by it. But the right time had never come and now here he was facing what was clearly another defining moment in his relationship with his son. About to screw up again.
Sure the photo idea was great. If he’d known Connor had lost his memory he’d have been sure to bring a whole damned album. Trouble was when you lived the life he did it wasn’t a good idea to carry around snapshots of the wife and kids. It was like saying to the bad ‘ Here This is what really counts for me Why don’t you hurt them and watch me bleed?’ Not that that was going to be easy to explain to this stranger who stood before him.He did exceptionally have one photo on him though. Connor on his own. No background that could be identified No other family member present. Something safe and identifiable that he could thrust into the faces of people as he tried to to track down his son.
"Why would anyone take me?" Conner had asked. Logan hadn’t known where to begin.* Because you’re a powerful mutant. Because they want to use you or find out what makes you tick. But mostly because you’re my son* That was the truth when you got right down to it.* Would he be safer living his life out as James?* The thought had crossed Logan’s mind. Then he had looked round at the bodyguards hovering in the background and smiled cynically . Sure! These goons are sooo going to be able to protect him if he gets into trouble.he had thought.
Damn it all! Who the hell did this Amlarie woman think she was? Stealing his son’s memories away. Leaving him unable to defend himself. Logan knew he could take these guys out in a heartbeat if he had to. Conner all on his own would put up more of a fight. If he had his powers that was. *She couldn’t even do that cleanly* Wolverine had thought as Connor described the ever present cramp in his arms.* She’s found a way to sheath his claws and all its brought him is pain.*
*But I have to find a way to bring him home Though I’m not sure I have one.* He reached into his back pocket all the same pulling out the crumpled snapshot , now singed and bloodstained after days of searching.” I’ve got this. Just the sort of thing your average crazy stalker guy would carry around. Guess you’re not going to be impressed. Cant say as I blame you”
Ever instinct was telling Logan to fight. To take Connor by force away from these people who had changed him and get him back to the safety of the Institute But he didn’t. Something told him that if he did that all Connor would remember was the violence even if they did manage to get his memories back. It would just be another example of the old man slashing and killing his way to victory instead of letting his son make his own decision.
I can give you proof though if you’ll let me. he said finally. "Proof even you would have to take seriously DNA That doesn’t lie. Instead of going for that coffee we can go to any hospital you care to name. It doesn’t take long to do the test and the results are back in a couple of hours. That should tell you if I'm your father or not Then the next move would be up to you."
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
”I’ve got this. Just the sort of thing your average crazy stalker guy would carry around. Guess you’re not going to be impressed. Cant say as I blame you” When Logan pulled the ruined photo out for Connor to see there was a flare of inward distress as Connor examined the befouled picture. Wouldn’t a stalker try and keep a better illusion then this? Try and make Connor feel safe and secure instead of bewildered and thrown about. Was it the reckless behavior that was inclining Connor to stay around, the belief that someone so thoughtless was doomed to be truthful? Or was there something more, something that was nagging at the very farthest reaches of his thoughts, so close and yet still beyond his reach, his finger tips barely able to scratch the surface of whatever barrier holding them.
There was more, a silent cry, a glimpse of proof in itself, the face in the mirror, it was alien to him but it still… there was something familiar about this face, something almost and yet not quite right. The thistles which made the other mans cheeks ruff to the touch, the shape of the chin, the look in his eyes, wild and yet tamed, like a snake coiled in the hot dessert sands, a seemingly harmless hillside really the home to a predator just waiting to strike. It was all similar to what Connor saw when staring in the mirror, at least before he shaved, before he placed his hair in the same style as the first time he saw it, not wanting to chance a single aspect of himself until he knew just who belonged to the face he wore. Never before had Connor let people see him unshaven, never changed the style his mother used to make, his fringe spiked slightly up or brushed to the side, always trimmed and proper… It helped having sharp blades handy every morning and a healing factor as well for the days he didn’t have patience and just scrapped the obvious areas and left the proper shave for when he was in the shower. Even if he was along, he refused to let people see how much alike his father he was becoming, how similar Connor could look if he just allowed some stubble and let his hair grow a little more, left it unstyled, untrimmed… How alike his father he was, that’s what everyone would say, everyone would smile, everyone would see how handsome and grown he was, how he didn’t look so young, how he really was his father’s son. But Connor wasn’t ready to be the man his father was, he wasn’t ready to fill his fathers shoes or walk in his father’s shadow… he wasn’t ready to take the mantle he had dreamed off as a child. The next Wolverine would never be read until Connor knew his father would be there to balance him when he stumbles, to guide him when he strays and to hold him together when he falls apart.
"I can give you proof though if you’ll let me." Gently Connor’s fingers were reaching for the photo, hesitating for a moment as an offer was made, a chance to find out something, anything, why was it so hard to learn a name? A face, a voice, was nothing able to be given to him all these days? Family was always important to Connor, it was part of him, he was the one who thought of his future, taking things a day at a time but still hoping for that final step, the end of the journey where he isn’t alone any more. Still too young to want to go out and settle down, that didn’t mean he liked being on his own, but he also didn’t like the way his last few dates reacted, even if just from mild surprise, by anything he did. From a frustrated growl to the more powerful date crasher – his claws sliding out at any tense moment that might have arose.
Not that Connor really lashed out and went on many dates, and he stopped all together after his third one which he still hasn’t talked about, even though his sisters tried in their own way to comfort him for whatever he had been upset about. Talking to others didn’t really make Connor all that interested in approaching any interesting girls either, what with Riley and his problems with Catherine, and seeing the issues not only his parents went through, but even his own sisters had their romance problems, be it current or in the past. So far no one made him comfortable, no one tried to really get to understand him. Family was all he had, a broken family but one he still loved and still wanted to repair, they all had so much to offer each other but were all so alike and so troubled by things but all too stubborn to open up and talk. With all their faults, all the distance between them, Connor always found himself standing there, in the middle of it all, in-between all the ones he loved, his hands outreached and just praying one day they would see him, see his pain, his loneliness, and out of love they would take his hand and from then on they would never let go.
But now he had nothing, nothing but faltering illusions which in themselves were slipping away, leaving a barren world with nothing but numbingly bare thoughts and wisps of haunting whispers which cry out to him and yet stay too distant to be heard.
"Proof even you would have to take seriously DNA That doesn’t lie. Instead of going for that coffee we can go to any hospital you care to name. It doesn’t take long to do the test and the results are back in a couple of hours. That should tell you if I'm your father or not Then the next move would be up to you." Quietly Connor continued to reach towards the picture, taking it from the other and drawing it for a closer inspection. In the photo he looked so normal, his smile nothing more but slight curves in the corner of his mouth, the images own piercing eyes looking up at the ones which studied it. The photo’s edge wasn’t perfectly straight any more, the picture creased and worn, discolored by what Connor could only hope to assume was red ink instead. A destroyed image beyond repair, no matter how hard Connor may want to try and clean it, make it right again, it wouldn’t work, the wrinkles would remain, the color forever stained… Maybe if he just trimmed the edges a little and…What are you doing? Vibrant gems disappeared as his eyelids closed over them, his world retreating to darkness, accompanied only by his thoughts and traces of mental images which lingered. Forget the damn photo. A small breath was taken in, held for an instant as his eyes opened again, their focus on the man who said was his father, and his breath was released slowly as his focus settled on the other.
Probing eyes traveled over the man’s face once again, slow and careful, trying to take it all in and make sure he remembered it to every last detail, to try and see if there as something, anything that might jump out at him. The study seemed to fall on the cigar for a longer time, watching it as if expecting something more then for it to just sit there. The smoke always bothered Connor, the stench, the revolting smog, the it followed his father like a rain cloud, a toxic fume which always triggered Connor’s negative side. If he was watching TV and his father lit up or walked in with it then Connor would walk off to his room and shut his door with a thud loud enough to get attention but not to get him in trouble. There would be a glare locked on Wolverine if he even had the thing in his mouth but made the effort not to have it lit around his kids, though none put up such a fuss as Connor. Mostly because they didn’t have as strong a sense of smell as their brother.
The hate for cigars simmered faintly in the background of his thoughts, a distant hope that it wouldn’t be lit, perhaps even an indignant demand for it not to be lit, but one which remained silent in his thoughts. It did strike Connor as odd that he focused on the cigar, of all things he had to think about it seemed the little bothers were winning his attention.
"Anywhere?" Finally came the reply as Connor fretted over the idea of going into a strange hospital, if he felt jittery in his own foster mother’s lab then how would he be in some strange place? "..Mum has a lab." Connor contained uncomfortably, remember the panic which struck him the first moments he woke and registered all the high tech machinery in the medical ward. "Maybe though, if.. if we go to see mum then we can forego any labs and.. she’ll know if you’re telling the truth." As hurt as Amlarie will be she’ll coolly tell the truth about Logan, she was young and knew she had made a few errors, albeit with good intentions, and she wouldn’t willingly make things any worse for Connor by lying to him about his father. She may avoid telling him, but that wasn’t lying, she was just trying to by her time, hoping to repair what muddle ups she had made along the way.
For Connor the latter choice was much better, but that’s because his heart was already picking up slightly from the thought of going back into any white washed walls anytime soon. He didn’t know why he felt like that, but so far the sight of medical tools seemed to freak him out, and since he couldn’t quite understand why it was all the more nerve racking. Small spaces also appeared to make him uneasy, he found that out just by sitting in the back of a car, the sensation didn’t start off so bad, but the idea of getting into a small space filled him with a hint of dread and when inside there it gradually got worse until he felt like he couldn’t breath and that the walls around him were shrinking in. The more Connor learned about himself the more annoyed he got with how panicky he could be.
"I’m not familiar with the nearest hospital," It wasn’t really a lie, Connor never really left the school unless it was some sort of school activity or an occasional outing with friends. He knew some names but not their exact location, not unless they passed one and he recalls a hospital being on the way to wherever he was heading. The only hospital Connor ever needed was McCoy’s med labs, his healing factor made the idea of a hospital seem useless. "I’m on medication anyway, it’d be best to go back there, especially if the wait is a few hours, I don’t want to miss my check up," The chemicals which helped suppress his senses would wear off and the onset of their return gave Connor a woozy feeling as everything intensified, so far he was almost always on time but he went late once and he didn’t like the feeling he had started getting. Connor didn’t really think about the distrust Logan had towards this woman or anything other then the fact out of all the labs in the world, right now Connor figured her lab was the one he’d feel safest in.
He watched Connor turn the photo over and over in his hands searching for what? Some glimmer of recognition? Some gut feeling that would lead him back to his old life? Whatever he had hoped for it didn’t come that much was clear. There was a sigh and then the bright eyes were fixed on Logan as if he might hold the secret that would release the lost memories. Logan stood still letting his son take his time, wondering what Connor saw when he looked at him. Not anyone’s idea of a perfect father that was for sure. Even now striving as he did for calm there was too much that was savage about him, violence always bubbling just beneath the surface.
There. What he had been waiting for. A flicker of something even if it was dislike. The cigar. That was it. Connor had always hated them, wrinkling up his nose with disgust every time he as much as saw Logan producing one. Logan sometimes wondered if he would have to give up living altogether just so that his kids would finally approve of him. Ok he knew that he hadn’t been exactly a rousing success as a father but it would be nice if even once they might take a look at the things he had done.
It had been eight years now since Michelle had died, fourteen in all since they had lived as man and wife. A long time for a man to be alone especially one like Wolverine but apart from those times when loneliness and drink had driven him into the arms of some passing stranger he had done it. Never allowing himself to get close. Always avoiding those relationships that could have led to something more than a frenzied tumble and a mumbled goodbye. All because of the kids.
They thought that their enhanced senses caused them problems! They never considered what they did to him. They robbed him of any chance of privacy, every indiscretion easily detectable, met with silent disapproval and contempt as if he was some kind of degenerate instead of just a man. He knew why of course. It all stemmed from his so called affaire with Mystique. They thought he had betrayed their mother then. How could they not see every subsequent liaison as a further infidelity ? *Some of them were.* Logan reminded himself. *Damn few. But still. We might have been separated but we weren’t divorced.* The guilt was with him still, complicating things even further.
Not that things weren’t complicated enough when you came right down to it. Being a single parent was never easy. Being in charge of a family of super powered mutant teenagers who considered him to be responsible for the break up of his marriage, and were always in danger of being kidnapped by one faction or another was well nigh impossible.* Ok so maybe I’m not doing so good * Logan said to himself *but hell, Id like to see how well other people would do in my shoes*
Sure he could have forgone his cigars; It seemed like a small enough gesture to make to keep Connor happy but in the end they were one of the few sources of pleasure he had left and some days he felt that they were the only thing keeping him sane. *Geeze I sound like the teenager, having to sneak around to have a drink or a smoke behind my parents back. Except I always get found out. And I don’t have any privileges left for them to take away.*
Still if it was the smell of smoke that reminded Connor of home then so much the better. Personally he didn’t care where the breakthrough came from as long as it came. His kids might be hard to live with but he didn’t want to live without them No matter how many sacrifices he had to make along the way.
But the moment passed and no recognition came to Connors eyes. What did come was anxiety and more than a hint of fear.*Thinking about hospitals Ill bet* Logan realised. One more thing this brain washing has failed to help.* Even with the memories of why he hated labs taken from his mind the fear still remained. Anywhere? He said uncertainly in response to Logan’s offer ".Mum has a lab." God how he hated hearing Connor call this woman who had done all this to him, mum. Wolverine bit down harder on the cigar to keep from saying anything, waiting for his son to come to a decision. . "Maybe though, if.. if we go to see mum then we can forego any labs and.. she’ll know if you’re telling the truth."
*Oh yeah* That was a great idea. *Id love to have a little talk with this new mom of yours*.Logan thought cynically *Maybe ask her a few questions. Hmm that would be nice I’m sure. Though maybe not for her.* There was no question of letting Amlarie do any tests; Shed done all of this simply to get her hands on Connor for whatever reason Logan was sure she wasn’t juts going to hand him over now without a fight. But then again. Fighting was what he did best.And maybe Connor would be surprised when mummy dearest turned out to be less than perfect herself.
"I’m not familiar with the nearest hospital," Connor went on. "I’m on medication anyway, it’d be best to go back there, especially if the wait is a few hours, I don’t want to miss my check up," The hatred now was a burning flame in Logan’s heart. Medication! Was that how she was doing this? Keeping his son drugged? Making him think he was sick?
“Sure” Wolverine said holding it down,letting no trace of is anger leak into his voice. “You never did like labs anyway. Seems you haven’t forgotten that at least."
“ Yeah I’ll come with you to this Amlarie. Provided your bodyguards don’t see any inconvenience. I'm sure she’ll be real pleased to meet me”
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection“Sure” It was surprisingly easy to convince him to go meet Amlarie, Connor offered a small anxious look at his face once again and then dropped it away again. “You never did like labs anyway. Seems you haven’t forgotten that at least." Curious eyes flickered back to the older mans face, staring baffled as to how obvious his anxiety towards labs must have been. Why did they make him so jittery?
“Yeah I’ll come with you to this Amlarie. Provided your bodyguards don’t see any inconvenience. I'm sure she’ll be real pleased to meet me” A glance was thrown over to the well built man and then slight frown offered as he looked downwards in thought, obviously disliking the fact he had someone watching over his back constantly. It was a nice gesture in a way from his foster mother, knowing that she was doing everything in her power to keep him face. However it was also worrying to, was he really in that much danger that he needed to be followed by them?
All that, however, was cast aside for thoughts towards a much grander spectrum. The gruff looking Logan was willing to meet his foster mother, from coffee to hospitals to finally something they could both agree on heartily. At least that’s how it appeared on Connor’s side of things, he may have thought differently if he remembered his father more clearly, right down to every memorized and criticized or perhaps to a part degree secretly idolized detail. At this point in time however Connor wasn’t the walking lie detector he was born to be, not that Connor ever made a big show of the fact with the rest of the school, leaving only the ones extremely familiar with his father’s abilities to assume father and son were same in these regards as any other similarities.
For the first time in what must have seemed forever, Connor actually smiled sincerely at his father, his striking eyes lowering once again afterwards to stare at the photo, the smile still lingering. Michelle’s abundance of love and clearly shown affection was a contrast to the wealth of love their father had which was carefully concealed behind his more quiet handling of such emotions. Michelle had learned early on that Logan wasn’t just a passionate fighter, but a passionate man in general, one who’s love was boundless, but at the same time he could keep his emotions in check, perhaps he faulted where Michelle was concerned, but most of the time, his temper aside, he handled himself well… maybe too well at times. With a steady breath Connor decided this was the only way, while another was already excited over meeting this man, his heart eagerly clinging to the hope that this was the real deal. It didn’t really occur to Connor that there was something also familiar about the man on a level where his appearance was also more easily accepted, being a little shorter then Connor made it awkward for the young man but Connor was average height, not winning any marks on the tall side of things but still not shrinking below the rest of his classmates.
"Here," Offering back the photo, Connor did the typical thing he tended to do after relinquishing something he found dirty by absent-mindedly wiping the palms of his hands, this time having them brush across his chest as if smoothing out any unsuspecting wrinkles. The blue-eyed feral made his gesture for Logan to follow him to towards where the rest of Connor’s companions had disappeared off to, making his way shortly after to the exit, completely ignoring the guard while he was speaking quickly on the phone obviously about what to do with Connor bringing back a guest.
It was like the days when Connor was little, when Logan made a promise of spending together without interruptions, when a trip to the park was considered everything and a dream come true. Being an X-men always butted in on family time, catastrophes waited for no one but sometimes they just had to wait as far as Michelle was concerned, she’d stopped really participating in anything the X-men did after Connor was born, but if anyone tried to pull her husband away from his children during those outings she would stubbornly take his place as a parental responsibility to her kids who needed their father’s time more then anyone else. The way Connor tried to walk beside the older man, though a wider gap due to the awkward unfamiliarity of the two, it was still the same as when Connor was a little boy, his eyes constantly peering off to make sure his dad was still there and not running off in the opposite direction with more important issues to deal with then spending time together. Too excited to stay in perfect step and always getting a few feet ahead before checking for his father and masterfully taking fluid steps that slowed him down without making it so obvious.
A common expression had developed which would cover Connor’s face, as if when he looked around and saw his father it was a surprise, a surprise which became more negatively inclined as time moved on and they moved apart. Not now though, now there was a poorly concealed excitement, another rarity in the relationship, few things seemed able to excite Connor these days. The only time he was really contently happy and remotely excited was when new wilderness training camps were being organized, since they were so popular now it wasn’t rare that Connor would have to miss out so that others who haven’t been involved get a chance to experience it. There was always a preferred limit of students to every class, and while Connor felt he was experienced enough to be trusted to tag along, it was more then that, like it or not Connor was a burden at times considering he ate and drank more to sustain himself then what was considered the minimal for others. That meant not only would they need to find that extra place for Connor to sit on the jet or van, depending the distance they had to travel, but out of habit his father would pack some more food and water in case hunting wasn’t any good and then Connor would worry that everyone would think Connor was getting special treatment because his father ran the show. The training wasn’t the real thing that Connor took pleasure in, yes Connor adored being out in the wilderness for so many reasons, deep down he knew it was the few times he and his father were on even grounds and it always seemed easier to interact when there were so many others around to distract them from too many awkward moments. Since Michelle’s murder Connor hadn’t been the same, none of them had really, Madison became more outwardly aggressive to others, though she had been causing problems since Arisa was born they seemed to amplify. Connor, being only ten at the time, was forced to take on more responsibilities, and on top of that he took onto his shoulders more then was really necessary but felt he had to nonetheless.
Their outings were limited, some for reasons they were still too young to fully appreciate, like their trips to the zoo… something that everyone always looked forward to, even Madison though she acted grumpy about it. In Connor’s mind every time they went to the zoo their father got into one fight after another, the last time not too long after Michelle died, it was so easy for people to see Arisa, especially as she got older and wanted more freedom by running ahead of them a few meters and getting free of her pram. People were often so heartless in how they spoke, the way they looked, even Connor’s eyes, the way they reflected the bright sunlight as he looked around, they could be overlooked in comparison to Arisa’s abnormalities. That didn’t go to say that Connor never got hurtful comments, but Arisa’s outweighed them all, Madison was always the luckiest to be born without any defining mutations, other then her rebellious claws that responded easily to her aggression as well as tended to unsheathe at any other given time. Logan tried so hard to steer his children away from people who would hurt them but sometimes it was all too difficult, especially on the rare occasions where they were dumb enough to follow the man in order to offer their snide remarks in person. Usually Logan could pick them coming a mile off and his children managed to be distracted with one thing or another as he cut the intruders off and so the fights seemed to come out of nowhere from the Kids point of views.
Though Connor wasn’t naïve enough to know their differences were causing problems with other people, the young son had a strange passion for joining his mother on shopping trips or other chores she had to do and it wasn’t rare for others to stare at his eyes. It was really doubtful that Connor actually enjoyed the idea of shopping, and people who thought that would be correct, but he did enjoy his mother’s company and that made the trips with her a pleasant and fun time. Also being away from his kid sisters meant he was more able to be a child and not the barrier between the girls, who were either off being babysitted with one aunt or uncle from the X-men family or being watched over by their father (though Connor usually took what time he could with his dad so it was rare he’d go out with his mother if his dad was around, it usually meant his father was asleep or at least trying to rest). There was one time where Connor was with his mother and while walking down an isle in the supermarket a woman almost ran over him as she turned the corner and he was walking ahead, staying close but not too close. Being seven at the time meant that his temper wasn’t as wild as it used to be, gaining a little more control over it with every year that passed, unlike his sister Madison, Arisa only returning the anger thrown at her in vivid screams. However when the trolley hit him hard, his hands grabbing onto the steel cart as his underdeveloped claws sliced from his small knuckles causing him more pain. The woman screamed and that also caused the young feral to wince, though his senses were nothing like they were in current days, and much to Michelle’s anger she even dared tried to suggest Connor lunged at her trolley when an attendant came to see what was the happening.
With Madison picking fights everywhere she went, and even accidentally causing problems but having her claws slip out, and Connor gaining attention with his bright eyes and then occasionally unsheathing his claws when people yelled at him or said things he found unpleasant, Michelle sometimes found it all too much and more then once tried to talk to them regarding how they should handle themselves. Talk’s about how dangerous it was for people like them, for mutants, never really settled on the kids, who were understandably still too young and naïve to understand their situation and all the complications that had on their lives. A part of Connor was angry because Michelle wasn’t an obvious mutant, she was a beautiful woman, and when someone looked at her it should have been something desirable they saw, not a freak of nature to be brutalized. So, what other excuses could mutant haters have to hurt her other then for the fact that her kids were obvious mutants? In Connor’s mind, he couldn’t ever help but wonder if it was their fault she died, if it was because of his eyes, or a moment where he flared in anger and defended himself with the only weapons he had, his claws. Did someone hurt her because of Arisa?
All the thoughts, all the questions Connor was too afraid to ask and too angry to let go of, they were all forgotten now, all lost behind the shield blocking the rest of his life away, but in a way Connor had already forgotten so many things, already let all the good times he had slip away in a cloud of anger, guilt, and more then anything, the every present sense of disappointment. Maybe in order to remember, he really did need to forget, to forget everything that was hurting him so that he had a chance to remember the things which were really important. Right now Connor had an ample load of questions, but was determined to not ask them until he knew for sure that this guy was the real deal, that what he said was the truth… if he asked now and they turned out to all be lies Connor wasn’t sure how he’d cope handling it.
"James!!" The yell riveted with excitement and delight as Connor emerged from the shopping mall, the young nine year old dashing from where he sat in the black car with the door open so his legs had been hanging outside it. Connor seemed to develop the well tuned playful exuberance he often had with Arisa in a flash as he grinned at Chris who bounced his way towards them, though slowed with uncertainty as Logan also emerged from the mall. "Are you ok?" A smile was offered back in reply to Chris’s question, Connor placing his hand on Chris’s head and ruffling the hair lightly.
"We’re heading home, he wants to meet mum." It looked like the statement wasn’t taken lightly by Chris who seemed more hurt then annoyed, small hands reaching up for Connor’s as they walked back, almost as if just daring the stranger to take his new brother away. "Where’s Sarah?" It was the tone of voice Connor had when his dad wandered in after being away for long without any real reason Connor could discover, a ‘where were you?’ asked at some point with mild accusation tainting it faintly, but rarely given a straight answer. After a few of the disappearances Connor wasn’t sure he wanted to know and had gradually asked the question less and less.
"She was upset and went home in the other car," A slight crease wrinkled Connor’s forehead and his mood dropped noticeably as they approached the car, for two reasons, Sarah running off just the more aggravating one. "Sorry James," A sympathetic, perhaps even guilty apology was offered by the young boy, who felt he should have done more to stop her from running off like she had. It wasn’t the first time she walked away and left them, Sarah had a temper and was rather selfish, so she didn’t take things well if they didn’t flow in the direction she wanted. Connor had already gotten upset before with her behavior, even confiding in Chris that he was a little baffled on how he put up with her, he didn’t feel that this kind of behavior was something he could cope with for a long duration, especially if they were supposed to be in a close relationship. "Oh, James, Peter’s in the car, he said he had to stay there with us just before you came out," This time it was Connor’s turn to have a negative expression as they approached the car, not out of hurt but awkward discomfort. The windows were tainted so it was impossible to see inside other then the open door, while not being a limo it was a fraction longer then a normal car, allowing the passenger area to have six people sitting in there, three in the back seat and another three in seats that were facing backwards, just behind the drivers area. It was an effort to allow them some discretion that a full on limo couldn’t, but also giving Connor some space to breath that was denied to him in a smaller car.
Closed in spaces gave him problems since he was young, another thing Michelle had worries for, being a toddler it was always so easy for them to wander into small places or crawl somewhere and get stuck or trapped. Once She had been cleaning the wardrobe and Connor had gone into it to pick up one his toys to take to his room and she had thought he was still sitting on the bed and closed the door only to hear the panicked yell from within. It was never as bad though as it was now where he went into full bursts of panic, back then Connor tensed up in small places and only had fits if his crying was ignored and he didn’t like it when they put him in a crib, so he’d not only cry he’d destroy the bars protecting him with by hitting them with his tiny claws, thus splintering the wood.
It was a problem that couldn’t be ignored, especially when Michelle brought him into their bed for a short time while they were waiting for a new bed to come, and after it arrived she was up constantly checking on him in case their son managed to roll off the edges and hurt himself. It also didn’t help considering Connor had taken comfort in sleeping with his parents and having their scent around him, so the young toddler always kicked up a fuss when Michelle went against every motherly instinct she had and insisted he stay in his own bed. That didn’t mean he never slept in their room again, there were always exceptions that allowed a bending of the rule, no matter how much older Connor got. Tearful nightmares, frightening thunderstorms (though Michelle knew that was just an excuse half the time since Connor loved the run and adored watching the lightening at night) even those times where he got really sad and Michelle had no other remedy other then holding him close for the night.
There was only one time Connor ever climbed into his fathers bed when his mother wasn’t around, and that was when he was 14 and the inherited powers from his mother began to surface and the ones from his father began to gradually amplify. Connor had accidentally began mimicking random powers from students he passed and one time he copied Jean’s telepathic abilities and Scott’s optic blasts while having a family meal with the Summer’s family. It was too overwhelming for the young boy who was suddenly flooded with other thoughts and out of the panic his instinctive reaction was to produce the blades from his knuckles as a defensive measure to protect him from what frightened him causing a painful murmur and a blast from his eyes slamming into the center of table in front of him. No one had been angry but Connor knew that he could have hurt someone, even his sisters if he had been looking at them, which was a very possible thing since he is always constantly watching over them. The Summers had been very accepting and understanding of the situation, but Connor seemed to drift away from them nonetheless, at first just feeling bad, then feeling as if they may think he might slip up again, then gradually it just seemed as if too much time had passed to really get back into seeing them as extended family instead of just the ‘parents close friends’. The experience also detoured Connor from ever tapping into psychic powers other then telekinesis, that night wasn’t one he easily forgot and he was so disturbed that despite uncertainty he still ended up crawling onto his fathers bed at some insane hour of the night.
At the doorway of the car Connor peered inside and gave a rather disapproving look at the man reading the newspaper, an unlit cigarette held between his lips causing even more of a disturbed frown. Chris wiggled his way past Connor and inside the car, crawling across the light gray leathered seats, but he crawled over to the other side so he had his back to the driver, the guard sitting beside him. The floor had only one bag on it, the rest packed into the boot, this one had Connor’s Discman and Chris’s games though, not that Chris yet realized what was in the bag, but it was Connors and the others took the other bags while Chris had carried that one himself. It seemed silly, being afraid of so many things that Connor couldn’t really find a logical explanation for, hospital labs, small places, the compulsive needs for cleanliness and order…
Who would want a son like that? So many issues, and so many more waiting to be remembered, it proved his parents devotion though, how they stuck by him and his sisters no matter their problems. Every time Michelle had them taken from her so she could rest it felt like should she sleep she may never wake again, so exhausted and yet missing them so greatly, counting the hours till they return. The final few were always so hard for Michelle, she’d be ready for them, while preparing the house she’d be thinking how their probably getting ready to leave their dad, just a few hours left, then came the phone call, hours became minutes, thirty, they’re on the road and she’d be setting dinner. Minutes shortened to seconds, the car pulling into the driveway, Michelle at the door waiting, and then it was over, the seconds finally gone as her arms could wrap about them once again. Madison’s constant bad mood, Arisa’s withdrawn or defensive anger to her sister but tenderness with her brother, and Connor forever trapped between them, their mother the ever present referee. When Madison got violent and Connor lost his temper, when Arisa disappeared into one hiding spot or another and refused to leave it till she was good and ready, none of it stopped their parents love, and that’s something the kids have over looked.
Connor look over at Logan, undersized and yet not overlookable by any means, the man who was waiting patiently as always, even if Connor didn’t see it. His father was always there waiting, for all different reasons Logan would find himself waiting, waiting to see Connor’s first steps, waiting to hear his first words, waiting to see if he’ll balance on his bike or if he still needed to be balanced by supportive arms holding tight to keep it in place. Waiting for when Connor tried out for a position as an X-men recruit, waiting when he returned from his first mission, he was always there waiting. Sometimes Connor just never saw it. But now he did, it felt as if he could stand beside the car for the entire day and he would not be rushed, not like Sarah rushed him, not looking impatient like the workers often did when Connor hovered at the doorway of the car or the lab. When people pushed him to do things he didn’t want Connor tended to lean more towards a hostile defense, be it a silent glower or a vibrant outburst, Connor’s temper always simmering under his façade of complete self control. For a moment Connor got lost in curious thoughts, watching the man as if expecting something, anything, some comment or gesture that would be taken as an impatient demand for Connor to climb in the car; into the cage of close knit walls packed with bodies. Yet still nothing, nothing but patients, almost as if he understood something Connor didn’t, almost as if he knew something no one else here did.
Uneasily Connor looked back at the doorway, the entrance way into what was one of the numerous hells he seemed to have. Awkwardly the feral moved into the car, shifting over to the window and throwing a glance to the other two already inside. The more people in the car with him the more crowded and cramped it was, making him feel more closed in then was bearable. Still, he didn’t want to cause a scene, controlling a temper was done by strength of will which fought it off, but how can someone fight something they aren’t really aware they have? The chances of Connor snapping now was higher then when he tried desperately to keep his cool, a lot of energy going into keeping a level head and trying to let things which bothered him brush off as smoothly as possible. Not always successful but his outbursts had become less since his youth, though his out bursts were still just as violent when they did occur, if not more.
Quietly Connor turned his eyes to watch as the other man climbed into the car, the body guard peering over the top of his newspaper with a look that was anything but pleasant. One of the mutant powered guards, Peter could paralyze a person by hitting them with his tongue, the green whip like tongue able to shoot out up to six meters from his mouth and paralyze whatever organic thing he touched with an almost instantaneous effect from the chemicals in his saliva. Yellowish green eyes watched with a silent malice as Wolverine settled in, not because he was here for Connor, Peter could hardly care for Amlarie’s pet projects, but the predatory nature of Logan was easily sensed by the lesser mutant who wouldn’t tolerate being stepped over.
"We’ll be home soon," Chris assured Connor with a brotherly nod of his head, taking the role Amlarie assigned him in Connor’s like seriously and with an open willing heart. "And we can stop again if you want." Offered the boy, who won a smile back from Connor, but his smile was just of gratitude, his heart was already increasing its pace as the door was closed and the car began to move. It was a classic case of Connor’s discomfort, where he went unusually quiet and still, and for someone who had trouble reading a book since sitting still for long durations was almost painful for him it was definitely something people who knew him noticed easily. There were exceptions to when Connor could remain quiet and content, but that was only out in nature, where leaves could shade him from the sun and cool breezes could brush against his skin.
"It’s ok Chris, I just want to get home." Talking about a problem just made it worse, at least in this situation, it’s just like when you’re surrounded by monsters and people just kept saying ‘they’re going to eat us soon, any minute now, can’t you feel their teeth tearing into us already?’ No… definitely not helpful… the teeth of these walls were closing in to consume him and the best thing Connor could do as they car drove out of the mall parking lot was to close his eyes and think of a place he’d rather be. Not that he knew of a place he loved more then anything…but even if he did remember it there was no chance to go there, to curl up close to his mother and have her arms wrapped about him. It was a backfire that Michelle often told herself would occur, taking a child to the parents bed could build up the sense that safety was with them only, but try and Michelle might sometimes she just couldn’t help by letting them curl with her when things were bad. It wasn’t often, but it was enough, especially when they were a little older and she told herself it wasn’t as bad, when she was alone and had no one to lay beside her as she had grown used to. In a way her children were her safety blanket just as much as she was theirs, as long as she had them she would never fully lose the man she loved. But then she died, and with it she took everything that felt safe, especially to Connor. Madison was too proud to admit to fear, Arisa was too comfortable curling up with Connor, and so Connor was really the common one who surrendered to his mothers comforts when things were bad.
Images of comfort didn’t really come, one room was hardly different to another at this point, and there weren’t any gardens he could recall that could comfort him and the things he did remember weren’t all that soothing. The New Yorker body guard was heard dropping his newspaper aside on the seat between him and Chris, folding his arms over his chest and then keeping a level eye on their new guest. As they drove, the paper which was so carelessly tossed aside was slowly slipping off the seat and as Connor’s eyes opened he seemed to be caught in a trance by watching the steady progress of the papers fall. Half expecting Peter to stop it slipping Connor hadn’t reacted until the older man had began searching the seat for his lighter without taking his eyes off Logan.
Pick up the damn paper. It was more a plea since Connor’s mind already had enough to fret over without the need to pick up and fold the paper. There was a mental sigh of relief, one which was almost nearly done aloud as Peter scooped up the discarded paper with a gruff grunt and shoved it back onto the seat without so much as a glance. It was terrible, it was ten times worse then having it scattered across the floor or thrown up in the air left to fall in any old place, now it was half crumpled from where Peter’s large strong hands had gripped it and the pages were out of order since some of them had fallen loose. Connor could already see his hands brushing over the delicate sheets to smooth them out, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to remove all the creases… Though he could do an excellent job if he used a warm iron to smooth them out, the idea seemed so logical, so important and like a great breakthrough.. and yet he realized how absurd it must be. Obviously Peter hardly cared about his paper, he read what he wanted to read and now he was just going to either throw it away or leave it there for someone else to pass some time reading it. Connor stared down at his knee, the silence strange but at the same time talking would probably be more awkward. Chris would have said more only he was too busy summing up the other man, weighing the possibilities of whether he would take James away or not. Typically like any child, Chris responded negatively to anyone who would remove them from the ones they were close to and while the two boys had only been together a few short days it was turning out to be a relationship Chris wasn’t willing to give up without a fight.
Impatience settled in and not even five minutes into the drive and Connor’s knee was already shaking, his foot raised a little so the weight was on his toes and his heel raising and falling just millimeters from the carpeted floor of the car. Not hitting the ground to make a noise but moving enough to still disturb Peter who didn’t enjoy the last few days on what he called babysitter duty and was less tolerable of the kids then would be wise considering Connor’s temper towards anyone who doesn’t treat him or his siblings and friends with due respect.
"You mind stopping that kid?" No aggravation was in his voice, no hostility emanated from his body, but his eyes spilled out the annoyance he held inside. Connor’s reply came quick and sharp, an obvious sign that Peter was less then a favorite as even Chris through a youngsters interpretation of a scolding glare. Connor’s fingers didn’t cease their anxious fidget with the material of his jeans as they rested on his thighs, though blue eyes looked defiantly at the other man.
"You mind not smoking, not littering the car and not addressing me a child?" Even without his powers Connor still had a daring attitude, then again going up against those bigger bad-er and twice as strong was a family trait he definitely inherited from Wolverine. In any case Connor had less tolerance for things when he was fighting his own wars, getting out of the car had top priority and he cared little for people who made the journey even worse then it already was. Peter already was losing his patience with Chris and Connor, mainly because the second day Chris was running out of the room and ran straight into Peter, and when Chris fell back on the verge of tears from the impact he suffered, Peter just started telling him off. Not a winning any points in Connor’s good graces as the young man started telling off the older one with a vengeance and eventually getting Amlarie’s anger brought down on Peter as well. Chris’s small hands ended up reaching for the paper, his movements restricted by the seatbelt he had slipped on earlier, while he struggled a little to fold it as best he could Chris was more interested in putting it away into the shopping bag out of sight. It was then he noticed the boxes inside the bag, half pulling away only to tug the bag towards him in surprise, Connor managed a smile but one of his hands reached up to press at the roof of the car as his body slouched lower, as if drawing away from a caving in ceiling.
"How long will you stay?" There was a slight catch after he began speaking, as if hesitant to speak and yet unable to bear the silence, his question directed towards Logan. Maybe talking about something else would help, the discomfort growing with every moment he was confined, the air seemed thick and hard to swallow, but still it wasn’t at its worst just yet… No, it was when the walls were so close he couldn’t breath, when the tiny beads of sweat became more noticeable, that’s when panic started, when it became an unbearable struggle, when strength of will went out the window and all Connor wanted to do was leap out with it. Chris looked thrilled, carefully pulling out on box to read, recognizing it to be the game he had wanted to try back at the store, taken back by the gesture and never having had something like this before made it all the more special. At Connor’s question though Chris looked up, seeming disturbed by Connor’s worsening condition, earlier Connor wanted to walk but Sarah said there was no way she’d walk to the mall and back, the walk alone would consume half their day. Sarah wasn’t pleased either when Connor started freaking out half way to the mall, though Chris didn’t understand why she felt so upset about Connor getting scared, it was however the reason Chris assured Connor that he didn’t mind if they stopped. She did try and comfort him, but it wasn’t easy dealing with him when he was panicked and she had as little patients as Peter in many regards and the two really soured any outings Chris and Connor tried to thoroughly enjoy, especially if any problems arose.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
Connor actually looked happy that he was going to go with him. Not just content but happy. It’s been too long since I’ve seen him like that Logan realised sadly. *Hell its been years since he looked at me like that. How did things get to be that way?* When Connor had been younger his face always lit up like a light bulb at the prospect of spending some time with his father. Now they didn’t even manage to talk civilly to each other most of the time.
*I must have hurt him real bad for him to have walked out on me back at the Centre of Inquisition the way he did* Logan thought suddenly. Having his son turn his back on him leaving him strapped to the table had hurt him more than all the torture that had gone before "You know, when Madison and I were in your position, you didn't come to help us, but then, I guess that just proves we're better then you, rescuing and giving up our cover for someone like you." You didn’t forget words like that. They had an annoying habit of burning their way into your memory and coming back to haunt you in the middle of the night. Especially since the words were true
He hadn’t been there to rescue them when someone had forced adamantine into their bodies. It didn’t matter that he had been out looking for them elsewhere at the time. He was their father and he should have been there. He could have told them why he wasn’t he supposed. How his com badge had been off and he had only known they had been located when everything was all over. But then a responsible father would have rushed to their side and explained things straight away, wouldn’t he. Not lost it completely, remembering the pain and the helplessness he had felt day after day, week after week as his own bones had been coated with the indestructible substance.
It didn’t matter now *What’s done is done*.Wolverine thought grimly. He had let the rage consume him and when it was done he had woken to find himself standing in the blood of his enemies, every one who had laid a hand on his children dead and finally, thankfully, silent. Some bedtime story that would have been. Not so funny when daddy was the big bad wolf.
Connor was handing back the photo now and motioning for him to follow. With a sigh Logan tucked the snapshot back into his pocket and set off after his son. On of the goons was already phoning ahead no doubt preparing some sort of reception committee for them. Wolverine didn’t care. Let them know he was coming. He would still be more than they bargained for. He always was.
It felt oddly like old times walking side by side with is son Well not exactly side by side Connor always did have too much energy for that. When he had been younger it had been like going out with an excited puppy, Connor was always bounding ahead and then running back to him with a look in his eyes that saddened Logan sometimes. As if he expected him to disappear. He had much the same look in his eyes now as he gazed back at his father. Then a shout came “James”and the young mans head turned, his profile clearly outlined by the neon lights as he responded.
Something shifted in the confused mass of truths and half truths that made up Logan’s memories. The name. The face *No. James was younger. He was only a kid when…..* Something bad had happened. Something so bad that he couldn’t, wouldn’t think about it. The window had hardly opened when he slammed it shut again, driving away the past that his conscious mind wanted so desperately to recover.
There was a boy here though, a real one not a ghost, running up to Connor asking if he was Ok. Connors gesture to him spoke of easy affection "We’re heading home, he wants to meet mum." he said gently. *The kid looks bowled over by that idea* Logan thought as he caught the hurt glance Chris cast his way.
*Still at least he stuck around to see how things turned Which is more than can be said of this Sarah broad.* He cast an eye over the waiting car Not big enough to be ostentatious, it had still had set whoever owned it back a pretty penny. Seemed money was something else that Amlarie didn’t have to worry about then. It didn’t make Connor like it any better though. he was looking at it now as he always did as if it was some kind of monster waiting to swallow him whole.There were too many people in it for him to be comfortable that was certain. How well could they know him if they didnt even know that?
Logan could see the look of exasperation on the waiting bodyguards face as Connor hesitated and delayed the inevitable moment when he would finally have to climb into the vehicle. Not the sympathetic type then. But then Wolverine was sure that Peter hadn’t been hired for his winning personality. *I should have offered to take him on the bike *Logan thought to himself *Not that he’d have gone for the idea I suppose But at least it would have spared him this.*
He hated to see his son like this so unsure of himself, fear only held at bay by an act of will. But at the same time he was proud that Connor always did manage to overcome his fears and that was no mean feat. You just had to give him time that was all. Something the goon with the newspaper didn’t seem to have understood.
Though the kid, Chris was it? was doing just fine. He had already got into the car, not cockily though but almost as if he was saying 'Look Connor See Its Ok'. Logan was warming to him already. He couldn’t say the same thing about Peter. When his son finally made the leap of faith and stepped into the car, Logan followed swiftly making sure as he took his place to leave Connor as much room as he could. Yellowish eyes met his as he settled in, the look in them far from friendly. Logan flashed a grin that wouldn’t have looked out of place on the face of a tiger. He’d promised to be good after all but that didn’t mean he had to take crap from punks like this.
Still there was no need to make the journey any more unpleasant for Connor than it had to be. Already he could see the tension mounting in his sons eyes something Chris seemed aware of as well. "We’ll be home soon," he reassured Connor gently "And we can stop again if you want." Considerate. *"Seems I was right He really cares about Connor I wonder who the hell he is?*
It’s ok Chris, I just want to get home." Connor answered but the strain was already apparent in his voice and they had hardly started yet.* Why don’t they open the frigging windows* Logan asked himself *cant they see that would help.* But it seemed that they couldn’t though as Connor closed his eyes Logan thought that maybe things would be al right after all and he would be able to stay calm.
Then the goon put down the newspaper and started some sort of macho staring contest and all was lost. *Geeze hes going to light up as well* Logan groaned inwardly. *Why doesn’t he just stick a pillow over Connors face and hold it down while he’s at it?
Still he resolved not to say anything though the temptation was almost beyond bearing and the silence could surely have done with being broken *Yeah but not by the sound of the guy choking on his cigarette and my fist* Logan watched as Connors eyes followed the newspaper on it way to the floor seeing the compulsion to pick it up building them. He’d have done it himself but given the look Peter was giving him he figured that any movement he made could well turn the happy little party into an outright brawl.
*Just pick the frigging thing up will you?* You should always be careful what you ask for. *Great* Logan thought as Peter stuffed the now ruined newspaper into the seat pocket. *Thanks a lot* Was the guy doing it on purpose deliberately pushing Connors buttons , trying to wind him up for some reason? Logan didn’t think so. *He’s just the worlds biggest pain in the ass And we’re sooo lucky to have him.*
"You mind stopping that kid?" That was it. The last straw. Logan could feel his anger mounting. This guy was going down. "You mind not smoking, not littering the car and not addressing me a child?" Connor! Full of surprises and a tongue as sharp as his claws. Logan felt the grin coming back. *Never underestimate him, bud* he thought proudly *He’s a chip off the old block*
It seemed there was no love lost between him and this aggravating bodyguard. he shot Connor a look as black as the one he had thrown at his father moments earlier. Still strangely enough the little altercation had eased the atmosphere a little even if only by breaking the awkward silence.
Sensing Connors aggravation Chris reached forward and retrieved the offending newspaper restoring at least a semblance of order to it but not enough Logan knew to fully calm Connors jangled nerves.He seemed to realise thattoo for he soon gave up and settled for hiding it in one of the bags piled on the seat beside him *Out of sight out of mind Good thinking for a kid his age.* It was a nice gesture and it brought its own reward Logan saw the boys face light up with delight as saw the contents of the bag. Connor too looked pleased as Chris discovered his presents though it was evident that he was losing his struggle for calm his eyes taking on a haunted desperate look
"How long will you stay?" His voice was thick with the effort it had cost him to push out the simple phrase. Logan caught Chris’ worried expression as he turned away from the joy of his gifts to face the older boys suffering.” As long as you want me too, son” Logan answered” But there’s no need to kill ourselves getting there.
"Hey you.” he called to the bodyguard. The tone was far from polite but he was past that now looking at Connors pale face.” You are going to press on the magic button or whatever the hell you have to do and you are going to open these windows now. Is that clear?" It wasn’t an invitation to fight It was an order pure and simple, delivered with the authority of someone who was used to being obeyed. The implication that if he wasn’t he might just use Peters head to break them open was purely coincidental.
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
Sometimes, when it was really bad, when the walls closed in too much and the air became too thick to breath, then he would be lucky, he would be lucky because everything would just shut off, his world would become black as he passed out and left all the panic behind him. But to get to that realize he would need to suffer at his worse, to a point where panic was overwhelming and assuring words from others were nothing more then distant echoes of muffled whispers. How embarrassing. Why would someone still pretend to be his father?
"As long as you want me too, son" Sincere words, honest conviction that was hard to dismiss even if Connor wasn’t already warming to the possibility that this strange man was more then just a stranger. There was almost a giddy feeling inside, washed away by the onslaught of building dread, a needy desire to belong being tenderly petted by the simple fact he was called ‘son’, even if it was a pet name some people use without any real blood connection. "But there’s no need to kill ourselves getting there." The worst family outings of Connor’s life were when all of them were crammed together in a car for hours on end trying to get from one point to another. Always made worse by the bickering sisters that Connor could only manage sitting between for the shortest of periods before losing it himself. However as a child he seemed to become drained and tired from his fight with mild fear, always comforted by the two parents who shared the small space with him and when he was younger was allowed to sit on the passenger drivers lap. Michelle was never fond of the idea of any of her young children on a motor cycle, even when Connor bounced around eagerly asking if he could go, otherwise he might have enjoyed the camp trips more if it wasn’t for the long drives there and back in the car.
"Hey you." Connor didn’t even need to pry open his eyes once they had closed to see Peter’s expression at being addressed in such a way, the amnesiac already had spoken in ways Peter didn’t agree with and so was getting used to most of the negative expressions he had. "You are going to press on the magic button or whatever the hell you have to do and you are going to open these windows now. Is that clear?" So Protective, this Logan feller was definitely playing his cards right, so far everyone seemed rather oblivious or uncertain towards all of Connor’s problems. Some were more patient then others but that didn’t change the fact that when they looked at him they saw something they didn’t understand. And it was an expression Connor was sick and tired of being exposed to.
It didn’t dawn on Peter why he was being asked to do such a thing, not until Connor reached both hands up to press against the ceiling, as if his strength was all there was between it being held up and it collapsing down on their heads. If Amlarie thought he wasn’t doing a good enough job with her new found pets, at least that’s what Peter thought of her relationship with them, then he’d never get placed back on the special assignments he had always taken delight in. When the guard reached for the door handle Chris was watching intently, Peter’s fingers unhappily lifting the top part of it to reveal a hidden compartment with various buttons to operate different things the vehicle had to offer. Struggling to see which button was the one for the windows, Chris continued watching even as they began to wind down, eventually turning to see Connor instantly having taken to the open window.
Although it looked as if a great pressure was lifted from Connor’s chest it still seemed as if he was desperate for the now strong breeze to remain ever present, his body drawn all the more to the open window whenever they slowed down or even worse came to a stop. The pounding of his heart made it feel as if his entire chest was being beaten from the inside, a never ending and relentless need for freedom that his heart so urgently longed for. It didn’t feel right, the pounding of his heart, the way it was trying to rip right out of him, why was he so scared? Close your eyes. Keep them closed… He felt like an idiot, any rational part of him that was left was focused solely on how humiliating this way, though it wouldn’t really hit until after he got out of the car and his panic gradually subsided.
Connor could feel the man's eyes on him now and then, the one who claimed to be his father, the one who said that they were bound by blood in a way Connor wasn't with Amlarie. There was something about a real mother and a real father that really meant more to him then he felt comfortable admitting. Was it wrong to want to know someone solely because they were the biological parent? The blue-eyed feral hardly cared at this point. The glance came again, long enough a look to know he was being summed up and yet quick enough to know there was no judgments being made. Was Logan making sure he was alright? How did he know that rolling down the windows would help? Perhaps not remove all the anguish but it soothed it enough so Connor could at least breath now.
Keeping the facade of coping with the situation begam easier as the wind gushed into his face, hitting the damp skin which was riddled still with beads of stubborn sweat. Weakness took hold, exhaustion from the fight and partial surrender into the acceptance that there was no fleeing this cell, his body slouching further but sinking against the side of the car, his head resting eventually against the door.
"Are you going to be ok? Should we stop?" Worry came in Chris's voice as Connor sank back into the terrible state Chris had only seen once before, which had also been earlier that day. He didn't like it when Connor got like that, there was nothing that seemed to make Connor better except stopping and unles they walked across town then at some point Connor just had to get back into the car.
The only reply which came was Connor lifting his arm and having his hand hang outside the window, helping aid in half obscuring his face as Connor curled a little more in an effort to both shrink himself to make the illusion of the room being larger and also help hide himself away from the people who would look at him. Stopping was exactly what Connor wanted to do, he was a few steps away from slipping out the window if things got any worse, but he'd rather get it over with now then delay and prolong it.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
Opening the windows had helped but Connor was still fading as the car journey dragged on *How the hell did they get him to the mall in the first place?* Logan wondered. *Kick him in the head?* Still he refused to take Chris up on his offer to stop. Hardly surprising. It just made getting back into the car all the harder. Still Connor looked as if he was either going to pass out or rip his way through the roof. *Time to try something else* Logan told himself . *Ok Lets see if this works.
“Hey Kid, Chris isn’t it?” he said lightly turning towards the younger boy. “Wanna play a game?” It sounded absurd given the circumstances but the look in his eyes was deadly serious, urging the boy to participate. “In fact everybody can join in. Its that sort of game.”*Come on Connor *he thought remember at least the basics.
“Now heres how it goes” His voice was soft now the words rhythmic and calming as he began the meditation exercise. “First of all we’re all going to close our eyes and then we’re going to take a deep breath Really deep so that it fills up your lungs, all the way, right to the bottom. Its not hard because the windows are wide open and there lots of air everywhere. We’ve got a whole world full of it just waiting. Ready?” he asked.” Now breathe in and count 1..2..3..4..5.. breathe out 1..2..3..4..5..
He repeated it several times, making sure to count in time ,mimicing the sounds of a relaxed heartbea, calmly and persuasively, making breathing something they were all concentrated on and so no longer a subject of taboo, isolating Connor from the others.
He knew the numbers would stick in his son’s brain attracted to his compulsive disorder like flies to honey. Michelle had told him all about it, her condition so mild as to be virtually unnoticeable but still dictating some strange behaviour.
Counting steps was one of them. Multiples of nine she had explained though she didn’t really know why only saying that as a girl she had decided it was lucky and she’d been stuck with it ever since. Connor didn’t seem to do that but repetition did have a soothing effect on him Well just for once it might work in their favour. If he could get Connors mind to accept the rhythm then perhaps his breathing would follow.
“That’s great Chris” Logan said watching the boy breathe deeply.” See it makes you feel nice and peaceful Now for the next stage. ".This was more delicate. He had to find something that would catch Connors imagination. *Well I’ll just have to show him my place* Logan decided. * though In hate to talk abiut it in front of this goon. Still he'll never be able to follow us anyway . And I think Connor will like it, I just hope that he does*
“We’re going to imagine somewhere nice and peaceful” he went on soothingly “ A forest. Nightime. Tall trees, reaching up to the sky. The moon is full and the stars look as if they’re caught in the branches.”
Logan drew deep on his own memories to create the illusion, drawing the others after him with his words and the strength of his belief. Canada. The country where he had been born and which he would always truly belong to no matter how long he spent away from it.*I must take the kids there some day* he thought suddenly *maybe they would understand me better if they saw it.* But for now he had to make Connor see it. He had to transport him out of the car and into freedom.
“Pine,” he said "The trees are pine, the smell of them clean and pure, making your head spin. Breathe it in Chris, slow and steady. That’s the way. ”
He didn’t dare try to reach Connor directly, but it was clear who the words were ultimately meant for even if he now wanted Chris to share the experience as well. “The needles are lying soft on the ground like a thick carpet when you run and the scent is all around” He was there himself now, not running but gazing up at the sky, listening to the sounds of the wolves around him.
This wasn’t the hunt, it was the blessed peace that those who had never experienced it couldn’t believe existed in the wilderness. “You can here the sounds now. Water. A stream not a river. Close by. Cold!” Logan laughed unexpectedly, unless you shared the vision with him, reliving the the experience “It tastes like liquid moonlight.”
Strange. He was usually so bad with words but this wasn’t awkward conversation, trying to express his own emotions and feelings and failing miserably in the process. This was an opening of his heart, a vision of what lay at the centre of his being. Wildness. Freedom. All offered up to his son. Perhaps one of the few moments when the two opposing sides of his nature came together and formed a whole.
“Time doesn’t exist” the man they called Wolverine said softly, “not as we know it. Not minutes and seconds, only the sun and moon following each other in the sky and the changing of the seasons. Slow and steady. Like the beating of some giant heart”
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
“Hey Kid, Chris isn’t it?” Logan didn’t know Chris, he addressed Amlarie as if she wasn’t the kind of person he’d invite around for Christmas dinner, what was going on? Connor wasn’t the only one feeling disorientated, he was positively lost, the kid didn’t know what would happen if this guy really was Connor’s father, so far ‘parents’ weren’t exactly a cheerful memory but if it had been Chris’s mother she wouldn’t have made this whole effort, unless she thought there was money involved, Chris may be young and naïve but he’d figured that out. A spark of hope regarding money and his mother came running, it was really the only way Chris knew to get her attention, which had things turn bad for the street kid who began sneaking money from wherever he could, church collection plates weren’t even safe from him if it meant he’d get a warm hug from his mum. Brown eyes stared over at the much older man, older then Chris even imagined, soon dropping away to Logan’s knuckles as if sizing him up for a fight.
“Wanna play a game?” Games were never fun, that’s how Chris ended up on his own have the time, hide a seek always ended up being a game which resulted in Chris being alone for days before his mother was ‘found’. Luckily for Chris he had a few decent self proclaimed uncles who took him into their groups, his one connection with right and wrong being his uncles and his mother, the old men usually setting him straight and telling him ‘it wasn’t no good to be stealing stuff’. Hesitation and slight tension filled the boy as he looked at Connor, but then looking back at this supposed father he couldn’t help but be confused the expression in the mans eyes.
“In fact everybody can join in. Its that sort of game.” What sort of game? Chris saw people playing in the parks, he saw children at times even play hide and seek but it was never like how his mother played it, the group always stayed together and they didn’t take days to find each other. Peter seemed to roll his eyes eye so slightly as he peered out the window, wishing to be anywhere but there. Connor heard the voice but stopped really making out the words as his mind was too far elsewhere to really be paying attention.
“Now heres how it goes” Chris wiggled a little forward in his seat, but at the mention of eyes being closed he felt distrust build again, until Connor’s eyes opened and stared focused outside the window, closely closing again as Logan kept talking. Was this something to help Connor? Was that why the Logan had wanted them all to do this, Chris knew how it felt to be singled out all the time…Maybe this was a way not to put all the burden on Connor. “First of all we’re all going to close our eyes and then we’re going to take a deep breath Really deep so that it fills up your lungs, all the way, right to the bottom. Its not hard because the windows are wide open and there lots of air everywhere. We’ve got a whole world full of it just waiting. Ready?” A whole world, an enormous world full of air all leaking into the car. A strained breath took a lungful of the air, traffic around them gradually diminishing as they discreetly made their way off the main road and down one of the exits. "Now breathe in and count 1..2..3..4..5.. breathe out 1..2..3..4..5.." One of Michelle’s tricks with helping Connor control his temper had been reciting the times table he had been learning in school. Whenever he got really angry all he had to do was start at the start and continue until he wasn’t angry any more, or at least until he could control his temper and walk away. Just keep going until it was all better, keep singing the rhyme, don’t stop for any reason, not until the anger was gone. It was always amusing for some of the classmates who pestered Connor to see Wolverine’s son starting to mumble the table, and continuing even if the fights got out of hand and they were tumbling over each other, most of the time it would be in his head, but it would be there, even when he finished the fight or was dragged away he’d still be reciting it… obviously it didn’t always work, since Connor wasn’t patient enough to see the time table as a tool but instead a distraction, and people can learn to ignore what they find distracting.
By the third repeat Connor found his body struggling to grow in tune with the man, no longer just a muffled noise in the back of his mind but a lifeline in which his body was drawn towards. A sift choking of air clogged up Connor’s lungs in an effort to stall the next breath, to slow it enough so to align themselves with the next turn.
“That’s great Chris” Being a child he didn’t find this odd situation humiliating or bizarre, it was just another thing life had to show him while his mind was growing to accept the world around him with little prejudice as well as little understanding. Chris saw it was helping Connor now, not at first but it was obvious if nothing else it was giving his new brother something to focus his mind on other then the car. ”See it makes you feel nice and peaceful Now for the next stage." As far as Connor was concerned Logan’s words hadn’t changed, they still echoed in his mind ‘Now breathe in and count 1..2..3..4..5.. breathe out 1..2..3..4..5..’ “We’re going to imagine somewhere nice and peaceful” ‘Now breathe in and count 1..2..3..4..5.. breathe out 1..2..3..4..5..’ The words didn’t stop, the blended in the background as Logan kept talking, images swirling in the darkness, Connor’s eyes still closed as the car drove, the motion ever present in the pit of his stomach. “A forest. Nightime. Tall trees, reaching up to the sky. The moon is full and the stars look as if they’re caught in the branches.” Whispers, laughter, or was it running water? A stream crashing on the rocks, no… maybe it was the wind as it danced through the winding fingers of the trees, rolling over the hills and crashing upon the stones, the spirits as they howl across the heavens. A memory, half melding with the description of what was being said, the wind brushing up against his face as his body remained were it had sunken, his breathing still strained and shallow but at least there was something calmed about it now.
“Pine,” Pine? The dulled senses were able to slowly fool his mind into thinking he smelled what he thought he smelled, instead of his acute senses telling him irritably that there’s nothing but car fumes and body order, any number of disturbing scents Connor always allowed to get the better of him whenever he had tried sitting down with his father. "The trees are pine, the smell of them clean and pure, making your head spin. Breathe it in Chris, slow and steady. That’s the way.” It wasn’t night any more, not in Connor’s mind, there was a rush of movement, definitely talking, yelling even, happy, cheerful… running… they were running. But who was there, they who, Connor’s meek attempts to keep a grasp on the memories was nothing but insisting his eyes to remain closed and his mind to keep on track of the images. “The needles are lying soft on the ground like a thick carpet when you run and the scent is all around” Needles? It wasn’t really so wild a guess to assume what came to mind was none other then actual needles, dangerous syringes laying scattered about his bare feet. No, think of something else, anything else.. listen to him. Connor tried to black out the image, to turn it into something else, god, couldn’t he escape his fears? Everything frightened him, why? Why was everything so wrong with him?
“You can here the sounds now. Water. A stream not a river. Close by. Cold!” Another image, now he wished those needles were back, water all around him, cold, but not in the way Logan described, not with the laugh, there was no laugh brought from this image. So quick, so quick it came and went that Connor barely reacted. Drawn back to Logan’s voice, listening only to the sounds as he spoke. “It tastes like liquid moonlight.”
“Time doesn’t exist” Chris’s eyes dragged away for a moment as something caught his eye. Trees. There weren’t any trees on the road, not like these anyway. Quietly he peered out the windows, looking lost and surprised. “not as we know it. Not minutes and seconds, only the sun and moon following each other in the sky and the changing of the seasons. Slow and steady. Like the beating of some giant heart” That image returned, tall trees of autumn color, leaves were falling from them, acorns scattered the earth and golden green grasses lay in patches across the ground. Evergreens kept the color in the forest as other leaves gave way to the coming season, winters touch approaching but not yet there, the hard chill yet to taint the weather with more then just the occasional icy wind. It was amazing, the sounds, Connor could have sworn he heard something, wind gently in the trees, birds calling from one branch to another… He was almost afraid to open his eyes, and he wouldn’t have had he not heard Chris ask where they were.
"Sorry lads, change of plans, no worries though, I’m taking you somewhere nice, be there in five minutes, ten at the most." Strength seemed to flourish back in Connor, his eyes opening and his body sitting up straight. But his eyes shut tight, a flicker of resistance as words echoed again in Connor’s mind, or had they yet to actually stop? Connor wasn’t sure, but they were there nevertheless, and they were strangely soothing. ‘Now breathe in and count 1..2..3..4..5.. breathe out 1..2..3..4..5..’ An image appeared, unbeckoned and out of Connor’s control. A large lake, shallow around the rims but deeper in the center, Connors body was wet, but he was talking, water half way to his stomach, someone was talking, the night was back, the trees weren’t closed in overhead but stood behind them and to their sides and off to the distance and far around them…still wild yet open. There was the moon, and stars, but Connor wasn’t looking up at them, he was looking down, at their reflection, moving towards the giant glow in the water. The words… so distant, they were playful, Connor was saying something about wanting to swim on the moon and there had been a reply that there wasn’t any water on the moon but that hadn’t been what Connor meant, but his father realized easily enough as Connor seemed drawn towards the reflection in the lake. Too far to go on his own and too young to be left alone in any case, Logan had ended up helping Connor towards his destination and when the eight year old was too tired to keep afloat or tackle his dad any longer he ended up clinging to his old man quite happily. Arisa and Madison where off sulking after yet another argument and Arisa spent most of her time around the cabin, not inside but up in the trees and surrounding areas, where Madison sulked either in her room or in sight of everyone if she couldn’t be out playing alone with Connor or their dad. And heaven forbid if Arisa was involved in any games.
"Are you ok?" Chris’s words pierced through the illusion of the memory and dragged him back to the confines of the car. Right now all Connor remembered were a few words he strained to hear and the image of himself, though older in his thoughts, as he tried to reach the reflection in the cold water. He didn’t remember it was one of the few times the entire family got away together, where Michelle and Logan playing mother and father once more, the kids were always so sure each time they went out on a trip that it meant their parents were back together, but time the trip ended and their family was split again. It didn’t matter at some point, just as long as they had those moments of fantasy where everything was ok, where there was a mum and a dad, then there was always hope that one day it would be more then an façade. Their mother always said she still loved their father, so they just assumed it was Arisa’s mother that was keeping them apart somehow, they couldn’t really understand any reasons, even that one didn’t make sense to them as they grew up, after all, they hadn’t seen the adultress since the hospital when arisa was born and neither kids remembered her clearly, if at all.
"I don’t know, it was a little funny… talking about nights, and the moon, I sort of remembered something about wanting to swim on the moon. At least… I think.." Full attention was offered to Chris in reply, Connor’s voice a little broken from his ordeal but a slight smile forced its way into the corner of his lips, though half way through speaking he stared worriedly out the window.
"I didn’t know there was water on the moon." Chris responded, not having been in school and knowing only the basics from what the others taught him to pass the time when his mother wasn’t around meant that anything was possible. It seemed a little silly for Connor, what with Peter around and the mutual dislike, so Connor didn’t try and mention he thinks it had something to do with the reflection he was moving towards in the water and not the actual moon itself.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
Words intruded on the dream. Not Connors but Chris asking where they were going, his voice a little anxious as he looked over at the bodyguard.
"Sorry lads, change of plans, no worries though, I’m taking you somewhere nice, be there in five minutes, ten at the most."came the answer. Logan fought hard to stay calm, not wanting to break the fragile peace he had managed to buy for his son. He glanced over at Connor, seeing the eyes flicker open and then shut again as he retreated into whatever safe place he had found inside himself. Logan was relieved. He could worry enough for both of them.
He had half expected something like this. Amlarie wasn’t likely to just let him waltz up to wherever she was based and invite him in for tea and cakes. He just wondered how bad things were going to get. Peter he was pretty sure he could take down without too much trouble even given that the guy was a mutant and that he’d no doubt have one or two nasty surprises up his sleeve. Still he really didn’t want to start anything in the car. It was too easy for the others to get hurt and in Logan’s mind that just wasn’t an option.
So any move would have to be made once they arrived at this mysterious destination. It made things more dangerous at least for him. Who knew what kind of welcoming committee might be waiting for them when they arrived. It didn’t matter anyway, he had said he would go and he wasn’t about to back out now. In fact part of him rather hoped that Amlarie would pull something, if only because it would let Connor see that everything in the garden was far from rosy. Still he couldn’t help being apprehensive . He had been taken to too many ‘nice’ places in his long lifetime. Usually it ended up with him either having to fight his way out of them or strapped to a table while people tried to see just how good his regeneration power really was. Neither option was particularly appealing he had to admit.
Well at least he wouldn’t have long to wait to find out what they had in store for him. Ten minutes. He could stay calm that long. And so could Connor by the looks of things.Though Chris didn’t seem to be too sure about that "Are you ok?" he asked, this time forcing Connor out of the half trance with his question. Logan sighed,wishing that the boy had realised how delicate the illusion had been , dreading to see panic in Connors eyes as they opened.
But it wasn’t there. Instead there was puzzlement and a quiet intensity . "I don’t know, it was a little funny… he said quietly as if he was still half caught up in the dream” talking about nights, and the moon, I sort of remembered something about wanting to swim on the moon. At least… I think.." Logans heart leapt, all thoughts of what might be waiting for him up ahead swept away by the realisation that his son had remembered something. "I didn’t know there was water on the moon”
It was like an echo from the past rekindling the images in his own mind. “That’s what I said” Wolverine murmured quietly looking at Connor. “You said you wanted to swim on the moon and I said I didn’t know there was water on the moon. Though I knew that wasn’t what you meant.” It was all coming back now. The laughter. The sheer happiness of the moment shared with his son. And behind it all , as there always was, the knowledge that this was how things should have been , the five of them together as a family mingled with the realisation that it wasn’t going to happen and that he didn’t know how to change that. Some of that longing came across in his voice as he continued.
“We were at the beach at night and the moon was full. It was shining in the water turning it to silver and you wanted to go out there and swim in it. But you were too little to go in alone , you couldn’t have been more than…. seven , no eight. Yeah you would have been eight that year.”
Two years before Michelle died and any chance of them ever being a real family again was lost forever.But he wasn’t going to think about that, not now. He was going to think about the way he had felt there with Connor in the water and pray that his son would too. "So I went in with you he went on steadily and we played till you were too tired even to stand up. Then I carried you back to the cabin and you fell asleep before we got to the door. He smiled now even if the smile was tinged with sadness.” It was a good night." he said simply. "If you do remember something I’m glad it's a moment like that. ”
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
“That’s what I said” The words came with a burning edge as they stuck Connor’s mind hard, all attention drawn towards the stranger in the car with an expression that was near impossible to make out for anyone other then those closest to the Enright siblings. As blank as it may seem to most, as neutral and emotionless as they tended to get, each expression housed a pure emotion, no matter how deeply buried, and this was one of longing mixed with disbelief and held together with nothing more then a sliver of fine hope, so delicate and fragile that it was able to break with seemingly no logical or rational reason. No one will ever learn to read Connor as effortlessly as Madison, but the rest of his family wasn’t blind to them either, Connor and Madison may have the bond some say twins share, but that didn’t mean Connor’s father didn’t know up from down, tears of fear from tears of loss and all such things. They were estranged but they were not strangers, though that could be wrong on so many levels…it was true when one got to the heart of it all.
“You said you wanted to swim on the moon and I said I didn’t know there was water on the moon. Though I knew that wasn’t what you meant.” In Connor’s mind all he saw was himself standing in cold water, blackness all around him save for a single silver glow in the gentle ripples. The sounds, so distant he couldn’t be sure if they were words or just the wind caressing the surrounding leaves. But before, when his eyes were closed and his mind relaxed, he had heard a voice, hadn’t he? Was it really this mans voice?
“We were at the beach at night and the moon was full. It was shining in the water turning it to silver and you wanted to go out there and swim in it. But you were too little to go in alone , you couldn’t have been more than…. seven , no eight. Yeah you would have been eight that year.” So young? The minds eye compensated for the new information and produced a younger form of Connor standing there in the liquids cool grasp. Cold. Liquid moon… had it really been the words spoken earlier that triggered this memory? Was it that easy? Why hadn’t it happened earlier? Why now, in the mere moments with this man had a memory returned whereas nothing had come in the past few days? Maybe the memory wasn’t real… but it felt real… and how could Logan know that the moons reflection had been what Connor thought of if indeed it was not real?
"So I went in with you" It sounded nice, even Chris listened as if a tale was being woven together, he never got to go camping and to be honest he didn’t understand what they were doing out in the woods was for family fun, he just naturally assumed they lived there because they had no home in the city. The only time Chris went into the water was when he stood under a cold tap or public shower and his mother roughly scrubbed him down after a spree of dumpster dives. "and we played till you were too tired even to stand up. Then I carried you back to the cabin and you fell asleep before we got to the door." Everything seemed so genuine, his expressions, his tone, his words… it was so hard to know if he was lying and in truth Connor was starting to push aside all thoughts of treason and think only of what else this man could share… A father. A real one, and though Connor wasn’t sure he was really to think about his mother he was definitely ready to think about a father that was sitting here in flesh. At least that is what Connor was starting to believe. "It was a good night." It had certainly sounded so, Connor lowered his gaze to stare at his hands, still sweaty from his ordeal but now battling it better as his mind stopped making the illusion of his surroundings caving in on him. Absentmindedly he had began wiping his palms over his thighs, though he slowed to a stop as Wolverine started talking, gleaming blue eyes raising once again to stare at the speaker. "If you do remember something I’m glad it's a moment like that." Questions raised from that comment sprang into Connor’s mind, but he opened his mouth with just a flinch of a muscle before his gaze passed over Peter and then returned to the comforts of his own lap, watching nervous hands fidget tirelessly. Sheer discomfort of aching arms caused a scrunching of Connor’s features, but he kept his eyes closed and focused on the solitary image he had that went beyond four days ago.
‘We’re the same’ The illusion changed so quickly once those words returned like a clash of thunder, Connor’s hand moving to allow fingers a chance to try and massage away the constant ache in one of his two sore arms. Bright eyes opened and turned to stare at Logan’s hands, it seemed so unreal what he had done, as if it were a dream Connor had which blended all too well with the waking world.
"Almost there boys." Connor’s attention snapped away, all alert on what was said and an anxious gaze attempting to see where they may stop. It wasn’t too hard to see in the distance, a small house that was some kind of cross breed with a cabin of sorts, there was a porch with a table and a old sturdy wooden chairs and a seat which hang on two chains on the opposite side of the entrance to where the table was, a quint little cottage? Not so quite, security was well hidden and there was more to Amlarie’s little side way getaway then meets the eyes. Mainly designed for her employees who had family but were in the middle of some highly important break through… it enabled them to take their family away and still spend a few hours on work. It was time consuming working in any industry that strived for new and better things, it put a strain on families when they were kept apart for so long so Amlarie had a scattering of ‘holiday homes’ where a week or two could be spent away every four or six months.
Looking back the road was now obscured by the distance, it all seemed so hush-hush, leaving Connor feeling a little at odds with why they were here instead of back home. Liberty X was a secret facility as far as Amlarie was concerned, despite the building being a well known one, tall and prominent, Amlarie didn’t want people to think there was anything more to it then just the business front. But if Connor’s father knew Amlarie didn’t that mean he’d know of Liberty X as well? Or weren’t they that close or wasn’t he the real father, what was going? Connor and Chris both glanced at each other, as if passing thoughts of curiosity between them with just a simple look. Both looked out the window again as the car drove closer, though Connor’s impatience prevailed and the teen positioned his hands securely on the upper and lower window frame of the door and then quite effortlessly heaved himself out through the window with a smooth swiftness. By the time Peter reacted by yelling out ‘hey’ Connor’s body was balanced with only his lower legs still inside the car, moments later landing on the ground outside but in a run so to keep up with the still moving car, though it was starting to pull to a stop once the drive saw Connor yet again bail from the car. The athletic manoeuvre caused a surprised look of awe on Chris’s features, the kid starting to unbuckle his belt as Connor talked.
"Why are we here?" Connor’s hands let go of the car just before it pulled to a stop, both his hands crossed and rubbing his arms, which always hurt more when he actually put strain on his muscles. Shortly after Connor opened the door to allow Chris to wiggle out, the shopping bags being dragged by the kid as if they were precious items not to be left on their own. Peter and the driver made no effort to get out of the car, but the Driver offered Connor a smile, Peter merely grunting for Logan to get out and only then did Peter move to get out as well. The guard moved towards the door, Connor and Chris hovered close by Wolverine and watched as Peter withdrew an envelope from the table and brought it for Connor to read.
"Here." Had been all Peter said as he brandished out the ambiguous letter, leaving Connor to place down the bag he had taken and left Chris to hold onto the two of them as he opened the envelope and unfolded the letter, taking a few steps away from the group as his eyes took in the words on the paper. A frown settled across his face, his brow creasing and his body turning to face the three, his eyes retracing over a sentence as if perhaps he misread it, holding it a little close as if the words were blurred. "My employer wishes me to notify you that she will meet with you, but at another time, right now she feels emotions may be a little… raw." There was a snarl from Connor as he flared with anger, the letter scrunched in his hands before nimble fingers quickly began ripping the delicate paper to numerous bits and threw them to the ground with a gruff growl of indignation. Though as soon as the paper scattered to the ground Connor looked torn and distracted as he knelled down and quickly began to pick up the mess.
"What’s wrong? What’s going on?" Chris sounded a little panicked himself, discarding their shopping bags and helping pick up some of the shredded pieces of paper since Connor looked as if he was on the verge of tears. "I don’t know." Connor replied, his voice confused and hurt. Peter meanwhile waiting for a chance to continue talking, not seeming too concerned with the situation, after all, if this whole role play was coming to an end he could return to the duties he preferred. "But he's really getting on my ner
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
Connor’s rubbing of his forearms wasn’t lost on his father, nor was the look of pain on his face.* What the hell have they done to him?* Logan asked himself not for the first time since he had been reunited with his son.
He doubted that they could have removed the claws altogether even if it was possible that they had stripped the adamantine from them. The claws were bone, part of Connors own natural form just as Logans were. If they had cut them or broken them off then his system would simply regenerate them *Unless they’ve found a way to block that process as well* Logan reminded himself. *Just one of the many questions I can’t wait to ask Amlarie.And shed better come up with some pretty nifty answers*
It didn’t seem that he was going to have to wait very much longer to get his chance to talk to the mysterious woman. . "Almost there boys." the guard said, breaking Connors hard won concentration once more. Logan looked around. It was clear they had left the town behind them. This place had almost the feel of the country about it though Wolverine wasn’t fooled. The smell of the city still hung heavy on the air and the innocuous looking house was about as homely as a bear trap to his eyes. *We sure as hell aint in Kansas anymore Dorothy* he thought to himself wryly as they started to slow down. *Well at least now Connor can get out of the car.*
It seemed that the young mutant had decided to do just that. Wolverine chuckled as his son propelled himself through the open window leaving Chris and Peter gaping and stunned behind him. *You’ll have to be quicker than that to catch him guys* he thought to himself remembering all the times that Connor had pulled the same stunt on him and Michelle. *What part of’ Connor doesn’t like cars!’ are you having difficulty understanding?*
They were almost at a halt now Connors question clearly echoing in the interior of the vehicle. "Why are we here?"*Lets see…. Ambush, Kidnapping Tea party All of the above?? That really is the twenty four thousand dollar question isn’t it. So I guess we’d better be ready for anything? But then I usually am *
Chris had stepped out of the car now though the goon obviously not ready to move till Logan opened the door and got out himself. When he did so Wolverine leaned nonchalantly against the side of the car though his eyes and other senses were alert assessing the inevitable the security arrangements of this oh so sweet country abode. *The porch swing’s a nice touch* he thought sarcastically. *Through in a couple of puppies and we could be on a postcard.*
There was no reception committee however. He didn’t know whether to be relieved or offended. It certainly wasn’t what Connor had expected that much was clear. In fact both boys looked confused, choosing to stay close to him rather than follow Peter up towards the house. Strangely enough that cheered Logan up considerably. It was a tenuous sign of trust but it was a sign none the less and he was not above grasping at straws.
Peter wasn’t gone long though. He strolled back in a couple of minutes clutching an envelope which he held out to Connor with a succinct ”Here.” Whatever was in it didn’t seem to be to Connors liking. Logan felt himself tense again as he saw his sons expression turn from one of confusion to one of anger. "My employer wishes me to notify you that she will meet with you, but at another time, right now she feels emotions may be a little… raw."
Connors growl was matched by one of Logan’s own. For a moment Logan wanted to do to Amlarie what his son was doing to the letter. How dare she do that! After all that the car ride had put Connor through. If she hadn’t been going to show she could have told them when they phoned instead of dragging them all this way for nothing. There was no ambush. There were no tests. There was nothing. Certainly not any concern for Connor.
Or Chris for that matter. "What’s wrong? What’s going on?" the boy asked sounding distressed. Logan watched the two of them try to pick up the pieces of paper that the breeze threatened to carry away and forced himself to get his own feelings in check. Connor was too close to breaking point for him to lose it as well. Logan could hear the tears that threatened to fall echoing in his voice as he answered "I don’t know." Though anger looked like it might win through as he added "But he's really getting on my nerves. looking antagonistically at the unconcerned bodyguard.
“Don’t shoot the messenger kid” Logan said gruffly “Even if he is a pain in the ass.” He squatted down beside the two boys and helped them clear up the rest of the mess, his actions unhurried and calm, knowing that restoring order to the small patch of ground would also restore some order to his sons scattered thoughts.
“Ok”. he added eventually “Looks like your Amlarie ain’t gonna show. Don’t quite know what she thinks we’re going to do now but I’ll tell you one thing. Getting back in that damn car isn’t an option.” That just wasn’t going to happen no matter what these goons thought. Connor had had more than enough for one day, and Logan was sure as hell not going to let them put him through any more unnecessary trauma..
“So we’ve got a picture book house and some time on our hands till we figure out where to go from here. What’s say we find out if they’ve got the makings of some coffee in there? I know I could use some right about now.” The words were gentle and persuasive, definitely a suggestion rather than an order.
But his voice changed when he stood up and spoke to Peter. "And you can phone your …….employer and tell her that Logan Howlett sends his regards and says if she ever puts his son through a trip like that again for nothing he will personally track her down and ask for an explanation. If she thought my emotions were raw before she should see them now.”
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Salem Center - The Illusion of Perfection
It seemed absurd, squatting here like this, picking up a mess he had deliberately tried to throw away in some dramatic statement of contempt, now Connor found himself picking up the pieces as if they were tarnishing the order of what lay around them. And it was like an addiction, when Connor started something he couldn’t stop, not when it had to do with his compulsions, his need for order and stabilities, harmony in all things was essential, even if it only made perfect sense to Connor. It wasn’t impossible to stop Connor, just stressing for everyone concerned, even at times having the blue-eyed feral lose his temper at the person harassing him. One of the few times the two eldest siblings would fight over something that didn’t concern Arisa would be if Madison left her room a mess and eventually Connor would snap and fix it up while she was out, the tempered young woman never appreciating people going through her room, even if it was just Connor, though she gradually got accustomed to small things, like him picking up her clothes for wash or removing dirty dishes she might have left in there on occasions. Michelle used to have to reframe from racking leaves when Connor was around because he’d end up chasing every last leaf, then got so caught up in it he’d do more then the leaves in the vicinity and end up spanning out further then just the front yard. In their home the neighbors didn’t mind having Connor run around picking up rubbish or the occasional leaf collecting duty, but Michelle always got worried when they were at their cabin.
Though, Connor’s mother always seemed worried over all of her kids, Madison’s bad behavior with others, Connor’s compulsions, Arisa’s tendency to isolate herself…her children definitely had problems to cause worry. But Logan, he never really showed it in the same way, the worry he’d felt, the concerns he had, they saw it in their mother but never so easily with their father. Even if Connor had all his memories the look he offered Wolverine as the elder man spoke in regards of not taking it out on Peter and moved to join the two younger boys in their efforts of retrieving the remnants of Amlarie’s letter.
“Even if he is a pain in the ass.” At least it wasn’t just the ‘youngsters’ that thought that, there was almost a ghost of a smile just in the corner of Connor’s lips. The young feral was never the most emotional of people, at least when it came to expressing himself, inside he was very sensitive and emotional, he just kept it all bottled up. Chris produced the trusty shopping bag that still hid the wrinkled newspaper, dumping his small handful of bits into it and handing it for the others to do the same. It break Connor’s gaze which had started following Logan’s hands, watching them collect the paper as if it was as important to tidy it up for him as it was for Connor.
“Ok”. Quietly Connor stopped neatly straightening the torn fragments of the apology letter which lay now in the palm of his hand, though he still carefully placed them in the bag as if half expecting them to remain in their neat little pile. “Looks like your Amlarie ain’t gonna show. Don’t quite know what she thinks we’re going to do now but I’ll tell you one thing. Getting back in that damn car isn’t an option.” Actually, it hadn’t even occurred to Connor as an option at all, it had even been remotely on his mind, he had pushed the very existence of the damn thing clear out of his thoughts and moved on, cheerful for the fact that it was over. For a moment there was a slight panic, contained but visible nonetheless, Connor’s eyes staring at the car like it was some sort of satanic creature. It seemed that he was once again taking in a steady breath, drawing in on the comforting feel of being somewhere that was so open. However, Logan had said that they weren’t going back in there… that was good, though Connor decided not to fret about how they were leaving he just rejoiced that the car currently wasn’t an option.
“So we’ve got a picture book house and some time on our hands till we figure out where to go from here. What’s say we find out if they’ve got the makings of some coffee in there? I know I could use some right about now.” Although coffee didn’t appeal to Chris the thought of going inside did, he wanted to see what was in there and if there was anything interesting, though having been homeless his entire life everything still had its remarkable awe on him. The son’s head tilted upwards as Logan stood, eyes remaining focused on the figure with content and approval in his usually rebellious expression. Connor stood up slowly as Logan continued talking but now directed his words towards Peter, quietly the younger feral’s hands moved together his fingers absentmindedly brushing against each other while he watched.
"And you can phone your …….employer and tell her that Logan Howlett sends his regards and says if she ever puts his son through a trip like that again for nothing he will personally track her down and ask for an explanation. If she thought my emotions were raw before she should see them now.” Son. There it was again, so effortless pronounced, so easily spoken, could a lie feel so real? Apparently so. Connor looked over towards Chris, watching as he carried the bags which almost dragged across the ground despite his best efforts, the tattered letter speaking of errors and mistakes… Amlarie sounded as if she was so sorry, but then she sounded as if so much of this was her fault, that there were things she said which weren’t the truth but only because she was trying to give Connor what he wanted. It was vague, too vague, leaving Connor lost as to what were the lies and what were the truths, though he was starting to have a bad feeling with the way Logan seemed so unfamiliar with Sarah, and Chris, and even Amlarie herself. But the letter said Connor should listen to him, that’s all it said, that for now Connor should slowly return to his old life and that she wouldn’t stop him, but she’d still watch out for him… it didn’t seem like Logan was all too pleased with her right now though.
"James!" Before Connor had a chance to question Logan on his last name Chris called out, sounding excited as always after having opening the door, disappearing into the place and causing Connor to protectively trail after the younger boy, tinged also with curiosity. Amlarie’s worker didn’t seem to care any less for what Logan said, always cocky with people since he figured anyone who got in his way could just get paralyzed with his quick acting toxins. Poor guy wasn’t to know that Logan’s healing factor could fight off such invaders fast enough only to leave the mutant with at worst a mild case of nausea for a passing moment.
"She also says," Peter continued, withdrawing a small remote control from his inside pocket, "That this will deactivate the implants neutralizing the kids muscles," Not that Peter had a deep understanding on what she was on about, but he could relay what she said as if he knew every last detail. "Fridge is stocked, also has his medicine, the pills are for temporarily disabling the x-gene and the needles are for his numbing his senses. They’re there if you want them, or more precisely if Connor wants them. The button with ‘off’ on the control is to deactivate the implants. You can’t miss it, it’s right next to the shiny silver button that says ‘on’." As he spoke he pulled out a lighter and a black cigarette which was partially bent from sitting in his packet during the limo rid, his fingers briefly attempting to smoothen it out. "If you don’t give the kid his pills his senses will return quickly enough," There was something else Amlarie said but for a moment it slipped Peters mind, until he actually mentioned about returning abilities. "She knows the implants weren’t very effective but they weren’t designed to do what they were doing, they were just a way of hiding the things while people tried to figure out a way of cutting through a strange alloy which seems to be spread across his bone structure. That’s that." Meanwhile as Peter declared the ending what he had to say, Connor was still hovering at the doorway, put off by another strange place he couldn’t recognize but enjoying seeing Chris tackle a basket which had been left, housing cakes and chocolates and sweets like a big bribe for forgiveness from Amlarie. The only reason Connor did step into the place was because of the table next to the door, it’s items all scattered and misplaced as far as Connor’s mind was concerned. One hand remained securely on the doorframe while the other reached inside and began moving the items, the glass ashtray a little brought a little more to the front, a set of keys were also there and they were shifted, the small crystal figures which decorated it were then painstakingly moved about, but as far as Connor cared it was entirely the wrong place to have them, making every position seem at least a little wrong and incongruous.
Struggling to get back to the matter at hand, Connor looked over towards the bench which Chris was at, still struggling with the strong plastic but looking determined to breath through it himself. The kitchen was just beyond the bench and a black kettle sat waiting.
"They have a kettle dad!" It came out so easy that Connor didn’t even register he had addressed Logan as his father until he was moving across the floor towards the kitchen area, Chris’s hands seeming to falter as his brown eyes had turned to Connor. It was so nice to finally be involved with a parent, to have someone come looking for him made Connor feel special, and if Logan was telling the truth then Connor really had gone missing, which made him unsure about Amlarie, though reluctant to push any blame on her. There was just a small smile, slightly awkward but attempting to comfort Chris as Connor past, a hand resting on the youngsters head and then pointing to the basket. "Think you can break them free before I finish the coffee.. or will I have another victory under my belt?" The comment got Chris back to trying to find a weak spot in the package, his nails too short to even hope of causing any damage and he didn’t want to use a knife because he knew if he did Connor would help him so he didn’t hurt himself. When Connor opened the cupboard over the kettle it all seemed wrong inside, one hand taking out the coffee but then the other hand had began emptying out some of the other items before Connor really registered he was becoming side tracked again.
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