Re: Friday 16th of March: Breaking down the barriers
Can I help? Connor. Standing beside him. Looking concerned and maybe a little guilty. As if he expected to be scolded for having done something wrong. Wolverine hadn’t even heard him come. Now as he dragged his eyes from the photos and his mind from the memories it seemed strange that the boy who had run around on that hot summers day, begging to be taken for a ride on the Harley had grown so quickly into this young man with the troubled eyes and the shattered memories. How did I let that happen? Logan asked himself sadly. How did I let all those years slip through my fingers?
There had always been so much too do and not enough of him to go round. Though he had tried. Even if maybe it wasn’t always obvious. Three small kids and a job that hardly promised regular hours. He had done his best, cutting down on the missions, watching the teams go out without him. But that was hard. Sometimes team mates came back hurt. Sometimes they didn’t come back at all Then there was the inevitable guilt The terrible ‘what if’ that wouldn’t let you sleep.
And yes Deep down there was the need. To fight. To release the violence that gathered up inside him in the only constructive way he knew how. It was his way out of the cage that had called to him as insistently as the bloody docks called to Lorilli. He couldn’t change his nature, not even for his children. But he could channel its feral instincts into a cause that was worth fighting for. He wondered if his kids would understand that as they made their own way in the X men. He wondered if the emotionally scarred girl sitting waiting for him would find release there too.
Sure son he said offering Connor a quick smile that was still tinged with sadness. You can give me a hand with this lot. Opening the fridge he surveyed the remains of lunch and dinner, not exactly a lot but just about enough for a late night snack Some cheese. Tomatoes. Lettuce. Amazingly enough a couple of bits of cooked chicken. Add in some fresh bread and they had the makings of a feast. Looks like we got lucky he called over to Lorilli catching her smile as a reward. Immediately he felt better. Tonight was about the future not the past he reminded himself. And for now things seemed to be going well
Here Connor you load that tray over there while I search out some butter. The smile was more cheerful now, the small everyday tasks settling previously jangled nerves into some kind of peace. Hopefully they would do the same for the two youngsters as well. Connor at least was always happier when he had a full stomach and it surely wouldn’t hurt Lorilli either to be well fed for once. The picnic was soon ready, the recalcitrant butter having been hunted down and accompanied by some mustard and a half empty jar of mayonnaise. Ok I think that’s everything Logan said making his way back to the couch and setting the condiments down on the coffee table while Connor followed with the laden tray. Everyone tuck in.
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
Re: Friday 16th of March: Breaking down the barriers
"Sure son" Son, it was a title Connor was born to have and yet still it make him feel tingly inside as the idea of family was pushed repeatedly in his mind, whatever Amlarie had said about a distant father, no matter how true his sisters told him it was, he didn’t want to believe it… He wanted to think things were always like this, every day the awkwardness subsided a little more, inch by inch with every encounter.
"You can give me a hand with this lot." A smile flashed, eager to help as if he was a child again and trying to learn how to put together a meal in order to surprise Michelle after one of her rough or long days that denied her the ability to cook like she often did. Or special meals cooked for her on special days, or just a spur of the moment show of thoughtfulness… "Looks like we got lucky" The smile faltered slightly at Wolverine’s comment, Connor could tell his father wasn’t angry but still a sliver of guilt fell over him again. Connor couldn’t help but find himself glancing over his shoulder at Trade, a shy smile creeping over his lips as he caught her own fragile smile and he felt a little odd over the whole thing about them eating the food earlier.
"Here Connor you load that tray over there while I search out some butter." No hesitation marred Connor’s fluid movements as he did what was asked of him. The things were set on the tray and… as discreetly as possible, Connor aligned them in what his mind took as the perfect order before his fathers voice spoke. "Ok I think that’s everything" With a nod Connor agreed, adjusting one final condiment before picking up the tray and following his father towards Trade and the table. "Everyone tuck in." Connor didn’t rush for a plate, letting his body lower back to the sofa, sitting straighter and holding his posture as he usually did with company.
Connor was determined to allow the other two to get their share first, he attempted to show disinterest for the moment by busying himself with sipping from his cup of coco, content in his desires to be the last to eat so it didn’t look like he was some ravenous bottomless pit that had no care for others and the hunger they might feel.
Re: Friday 16th of March: Breaking down the barriers
The mood seemed to have shifted and in a good way on top of that.Lorili could almost feel cheerfulness filtering in with her other emotions as father and son returned from the kitchen with the food and made themselves comfortable in their seats. The awkwardness seemed to have lifted away some "Everyone tuck in." She had never heard that exact term before but knew what it meant anyway. It was close enough to the other terms she had heard while out and about. She paused for a moment though, wondering if it were time for her to take a part of the meal yet or not.
Lorili had never been in a situation where she had been sharing a meal with more than one other person, almost always have been either made to eat off on her own or having chosen to eat by herself. And not having really watched others eat due to the lack of interest for company, she didn't know how it really went. Did they take turns? Did they all just reach in and just figure something out? She paused there for a moment, looking from the food to Connor, to Logan, then back at the food again.
Connor seemed to not be interested in grabbing up any food just yet, that she noticed. But she wondered if he was no longer hungry, if he was one of the types who perferred to eat alone, or if he were just waiting for his turn to go at it. After asnother pause she slowly reached out. Although she was slow to start with, the small sandwich she made was made quickly, her nto wanting to be in the way for too long but managing to not show that that was the reason for her speed. As soon as the sandwich was made, she brought herself back into the sit she had been in, no longer leaning over from the gathering of the food.
There was a couple of reasons fo rthe size of the sandwich... First, she wasn't sure of how much she could eat just yet, her stomach only having barely settled from her earlier thoughts. Second, she didn't want to make a pig of herself and make too big of a portion for herself. And third, she wanted to make sure that Logan and Connor had plenty to eat. All the while, a slight hint of a smile lingered on her lips. Although it was still a bit strange to be relaxing this much in a room that held more than one person, this time was a nice change. It was to where she was already thinking about the next time they could all have a meal together.
all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
Re: Friday 16th of March: Breaking down the barriers
The wait seemed prolonged as Trade studied the situation carefully, though her hand did eventually reach out, plucking up a sliced sandwich a little more swiftly then one would have expected. There was a pause on his behalf as he watched her withdraw the single slice and then eyed his fathers hands for a moment and waited only until food was within the elders hand before Connor himself reached for one of the slices prepared just before. Fingers seemed to slow to a stop before touching the food however, an almost visible air of thought flowed through his fingertips before he withdrew his hand and stood up. Fluid steps carried the younger feral back into the kitchen, his hands forming into a fist and his fingers rubbing uncomfortably against his thumbs as he moved.
A fork and knife were carefully pulled from the drying rack and a plate along with them, three glasses were then stacked atop each other and balanced onto the plate, his fingers holding the utensils in the same hand and the one free hand moved to the fridge and pulled open the door. A jug of purified water was pulled from within and Connor nudged the door closed lightly with his foot. Returning to the couch, Connor placed the plate and glasses down as well as the mug, shifting things around neatly and serving the others water in case they wanted something to drink. Connor knew there was beer but he didn’t really think about offering them, they were his fathers and his alone to offer out. Sides, it was too late in Connor’s opinion to start drinking, not that Connor was ever a fan of alcohol.
Now granted the sandwiches were finger food but there was something that just suddenly irked Connor and he wasn’t sure what it was, personally unaware how alienated he usually felt when forced to dine with strangers. Even with people as familiar as the Summers Connor still found it difficult to use his hands, a strange habit that was more anxiety then need to be clean, with his siblings and family then Connor could do it effortlessly, but with people outside the home, then it was a different tale all together. A knife and fork found its first morsel of food, the fork stabbing the sandwich and the knife holding it all together, bringing two onto his place before slicing the only sliced snacks into bite sized pieces for him to place neatly into his mouth.
The night wasn’t going so bad really… things could have been worse and perhaps they could have been better, Connor would never know, but he was sure that his father was anything but utterly displeased and that alone was worth being cheerful about. Because in the end, all Connor really wanted to do right now was impress the guy who seemed to have gone out of his way to find a son that can’t even remember the guys favourite meal.
Re: Friday 16th of March: Breaking down the barriers
There was still enough awkwardness to stop Connor diving in but then again Logan suspected that had more to do with his dismay at finding out how much he ate in a day rather than Trade’s presence. In any case the young feral held back waiting for the girl to take her first tentative steps at communal eating, steps which led to a neat reasonable sandwich that Logan could almost have swallowed whole without even blinking. Well maybe if he showed that there was nothing to be worried about in having a more than healthy appetite Connor would follow suit.
Logan was just about to start constructing his own snack when Connor suddenly rose and made his way back to the kitchen to return with the inevitable plates and cutlery without which he never really felt comfortable and some fresh water that was nowhere near being the beer that Logan could really have done with but was much appreciated all the same.
While he was collecting the things Wolverine swiftly made some more substantial sandwiches, leaving them in a pile in the centre of the table. It seemed that Connor’s usual reticence when it came to eating with other people was something else that Amlarie’s wonderful brainwashing hadn’t helped with, so maybe a helping hand was in order. There had been a couple of knives on the tray already, sharp and serrated for cutting the tomatoes and taking the chicken off the bone. Logan used them to spear the bread, and place the ingredients on it with the ease of long practice, touching the food as little as was humanly possible, catering to the problems raised by his sons heightened senses.
Logan wondered what Lorilli was thinking as she watched him do it. He flashed her a smile that said this was normal for them, that it had nothing to do with the fact she was there. It was just part of life with the Enrights. Weird yes but then didn’t every family have its own peculiarities? And given some of the strange things Logan had seen in his long life eating sandwiches with a knife and fork seemed pretty mundane. Once you got used to it that was.
All in all, given Connor’s manias and Lorilli’s nervousness, not to mention his own inimitable social skills, the impromptu picnic could only be termed a roaring success. A little short on conversation perhaps but that was only to be expected. The fact that the three of them were sitting round a table relatively relaxed and easy in each others company was all he had hoped for and gave reason for optimism where future contacts were concerned.
Hell the very idea that there could be future contacts, other meals taken together, other experiences shared was enough to bring a contented smile to Logan’s face. One that had only a little to do with the pile of food that was rapidly disappeared before the onslaught of his own fierce appetite! There was enough for three, even with him and Connor both participating so there was no reason to hold back. Not when you were amongst family. Not when you were home.
And he was. Home. He only hoped that Lorilli and Connor would realise that they were too. And maybe moments like this one would help them to do so.
................................
Thread closed.
There's just somethin' wild inside me pullin' me to do things I don't understand.
I can't figure it. It's like tryin' to explain desire.
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