Motivation.
OOC This carries on from the 'Aftermath' thread also in the med lab.It takes place on the morning of the 10th of March, the rescue from Harmony having been on the 8th March at midnight.
Michaels eyes jerked open, the terrified cry stifled in his throat. *Its OK* he told himself, wincing as the sudden movement tore at the now healing wound in his side. *Its OK You’re not back there You’re never going back there again.*
Still it was hard to adjust to the idea that he could be safe, motionless in a hospital bed with strange apparatus attached to his body. Too many months of experimentation left his subconscious open to panic attacks even if his rational mind had accepted that here he was amongst friends. Or if not friends at least strangers who didn’t seem to want to hurt or exploit him.
Strangers who had put their lives on the line to free him from the cage in Harmony Market and bring him back here to their headquarters the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters. Michael hadn’t quite taken it all in yet. It was all too new, to sudden. But he knew he was grateful. Realised what a debt he owed these people.
The alien machines Dr McCoy was using to accelerate the healing process were doing a good job. Michael could feel the strength flowing back into his battered body. *Just a pity they’re not so good at healing old wounds * Michael thought sadly.
There had been a moment of wondrous hope when the strange blue being he had so quickly come to trust had explained what their purpose was. One moment when Michael had believed that his prayers had been answered and that all the damage caused by the car smashing into him might have been obliterated, left behind like one more bad dream.
But it was not to be. Too much time had past for them to be effective. It was hard to accept. Harder now perhaps than before since he realised that here, in this institute, there had been a machine that could have spared him the long months of pain, have given him back a normal life.
*Don’t go there* Michael he told himself. *Just be grateful for what you’ve got. A fresh start clear and free of George and Brady and that dreadful lab. You should be counting your blessings not moaning about what might have been.*
He looked down at the book lying beside the bed, Oliver Twist, an old favourite gratefully revisited as he lay quietly trying to give the machines a chance to do their work. Books! It seemed like a lifetime that he hadn’t had access to them, been able to feel their comforting weight in his hands. *That alone is worth shouting about. A whole library just waiting to be explored as soon as Dr McCoy gives me the go ahead.*
Michael smiled shamefacedly. He had already been tempted to go down for a visit, leaving his body here to recover while his astral form Hood prowled the corridors, but he had promised not to till the doctor felt it was safe for him to play around with his life force like that.
Still he was impatient to see what this new world he had fallen into looked like. Impatient to meet the people it contained. Some of them had already come to see him but it wasn’t enough. The long months of solitude he had endured had made him eager to share the company of those around him. *And lets face it Hood’s a lot more able to get around than I am and he always will be. Even if I am mending fast.*
*Maybe too fast.* There he had finally admitted it to himself . Dr McCoy had said that he could get up soon, maybe even the next day if he felt up to it. *But I don’t! I don’t feel up to it. Its like they say, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Getting out and about a Hood is one thing. Physically walking around as Michael is quite another!*
Here, lying in the comforting bed he could control the pain., cushioned from its bite by the carefully dosed morphine that circulated in his veins. Just enough. They had talked it over he and the doctor, his need for something to get him through the days ahead.
After the accident it had been the same thing, learning to deal with the pain as they diminished the amount of drugs they gave him. Slowly weaning himself down to the bare minimum. Just enough to let him put one foot in front of the other without screaming. Enough to let him function as normally as possible under the circumstances.
But circumstances had changed. The effort and pain of physiotherapy all reduced to nothing by the fact that he had been strapped down more or less constantly for the past four months as the muscles and tendons in his shattered leg stiffened and twisted.
*All to redo. Can I really go through all that again?* he asked himself. *I am so sick of hurting. Can I really force myself to start over?* His mind shied away from the idea, but still the thoughts swam through his tired brain. *How much morphine will it take to get me through learning to walk again? Double the dose? Triple? * He groaned as he thought about it. *And all it does is push the pain away, make it liveable with.*
How he hated it. It didn’t matter what people said, that it wasn’t the same as doing drugs for fun, all that talk about quality of life and how it wasn’t his fault, it was still an addiction. Something he couldn’t live without.
And all his careful juggling with the dosage had been undone by Brady’s experiments. Michael shuddered remembering the days when Brady had withheld the drug entirely so that they would not interfere with the test results, the days when he had pumped Michael so full of the stuff his mind had been blown away, wanting him to rest and recover so that he could start the hellish cycle of disease and cure all over again. *All or nothing that was Brady* Michael thought bitterly. *Subtlety was never his forte. You only have to look at my arms to see that.*
*So what am I going to do?* he asked himself. *Just lie here feeling sorry for myself? Wait till they chuck me out of this bed and force me into physio? Well why not! Why can’t I just admit that I’ve had enough, that maybe this time I’m not able to get up again.*
*Because then they’ll have won!* he realised. *Brady, George, all those people that looked at me as if I was some kind of animal to be bought and sold at their pleasure*
"He is pretty and broken and the pain flows out of him in waves. It tastes good. I want to taste more of it."
The memory sprang uninvited into his mind, the demon’s yellow eyes promising horror beyond Michael’s understanding as it spoke the words. *Why can’t I get those eyes out of my dreams?* he thought wildly. *Its like they were still here, still watching me.*
*And if they were, is this what Id like them to see? A cripple lying in a bed, too scared of the pain even to stand up! *
He felt anger rising in him, indignation at what they had done to him. And underneath it all the fierce determination that had already carried him this far despite everything life had thrown at him.
*I won’t let them reduce me to helplessness. I won’t just wait around like some kind of victim they can just use and then discard. I fought my way back once and I can damn well do it again. I will not let them ruin my life, not now, not ever!*
*These people here in this school! They went out and met the demons on their own terms. Marched right in amongst them and got us out. Ben and Madison and Connor that’s what they do. They fight back, even if they don’t always win. Even if they get hurt, they keep on fighting. I could do that with Hood,* Michael thought. *He could help, I could help. If they taught me how! *
*But for that I’d have to prove to them that I’m a fighter, me Michael, not just Hood. Even if I can’t run or jump or do any of the things he does its still me that’s fighting, its my spirit. And its not crippled,* he smiled slowly, *not as long as I don’t give up.*
A night out again, Riley knew he shouldn't have gone, but the meeting earlier Friday morning had made him restless, his nightmares meant the prospect of sleep was just as traumatizing as the images themselves. Riley knew whatever was wrong, it was getting worse now, especially with the nightmares of his past ripping him apart every time he slept, as well as his hope of getting any closer to Catherine was fading. He didn't know what was wrong with him, he just assumed it was to do with his sever lack of sleep and constant nights out hunting demons without anyone aware of what he was doing. Neglecting to eat also wasn't going him any good, it wasn't that he didn't want to eat, he just kept forgetting about it since he was used to being called to meals.
His mother would call for him, either yelling from the bottom of the stairs so he'd hear her from his room back on their Huxley farm in Iowa or she'd be on the porch calling out if he was outside riding or playing or working. Then at the Initiative they had set routines, Graham and Forrest always picked him up if he was in his room, and when he was younger and shared a room with either of them, they'd make sure to drag him down with them. He wasn't used to being alone, here in the 'free world' he was responsible for what he did, in charge of himself and his own actions. But he liked being a soldier, he liked fighting and helping protect people, just because the last two years, especially the last year in the Initaitive, had been rough on him due to Joan's abuse, it didn't mean he hated being an Initiative Agent.
He hated being here, he'd rather be back in the Initiative with Joan - a co-soldier who had been genetically created - she may have done everything in her power to ruin his life there, but at least he still had Graham and Forrest and all his other friends. Plus his platoon, he wasn't always at the base, sometimes he'd be gone for weeks or months at a time, he always had something to do and someone to do it with.
Catherine saved him from that though, and he really was grateful, he didn't like how they were drugging him and misusing him, life with Catherine felt like something worth fighting for. He'd never been with a girl before, but he was convinced she was the one for him, the only one he'd ever be with. Which confused some of the people they hanged around with, like Dave for example, he can't understand why Riley not only tolerates the things Catherine has done to him but acts as if she can do nothing wrong, as if she was the most perfect creature in the world.
But Riley was bitter, he was hurt and angry and miserable, she promised she'd not leave him alone, he'd told her he was scared of being alone, told her it petrified him, he told her before she even took him out of the Initiative. She KNEW and she still kept leaving, first running away when she promised not to leave him, he didn't remember anything because of the Initiative blocking his memories, and she left him. She left him alone in a place he didn't know, in a world he couldn't remember, and no one cared. She didn't even tell him where she went. She didn't tell him why she went, she didn't even say good-bye, she just disappeared after he kissed her in the Dyingstar..
He waited for her, every day, first when he got back to the school he went to her room, then he as the days passed he'd walk by her room even if it was way off path to his next class. His memory returned very slowly and very vague, but it was enough for him to understand that he was close to Catherine, he didn't remember how close until he managed to track a letter she sent and go to Washington where he met her before Christmas last year.
Connor was one of the few who was still in contact with Riley during the last six months of the previous year where he suffered sever withdrawls and depression. Connor himself couldn't imagine why Riley would had become so devoted to someone who seems to continuously abandon him. And when their baby died, on New Years day, and shortly after Catherine had once again called off their relationship, Riley had taken another dive, in Connor's opinion he hadn't even had a chance to fully recover from the previous break up.
That morning Connor had been asked to speak with Michael since he had already spent time with the new mutant, already Connor has spent time just sitting outside the medical lab, even if he wasn't afraid of entering he'd still not venture inside since he was still humiliated over having harmed Michael. Instead he woke up Riley, or he assumed he woke up Riley, unaware that Riley had only recently arrived from his night out hunting and had barely gotten the chance to sleep.
"Alright, and he's power is astral projection?" Riley asked with an exhausted look, rolling his shoulders slightly while he jotted information down onto a notepad and trying to ignore the tension in his body. Connor explained what he remembered when using Michael's power as they approached the medical bay. There was a yawn from Riley as the med doors opened and he went into the room, the back of his hand that was holding the pen covering his mouth as he tried to surpress it, failing however as his took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"Sorry, and any family relations we need to get into contact with?" Unlike all his previous questions, there was only silence in reply, causing Riley to blink and look next to him where Connor had previously been. "Uh, Connor?" A quick glance around the medical bay showed only Talia working away at the desk in the back room and a boy resting on one of the beds. That had to be Michael, Riley turned around though and placed his hand on the door frame while glancing at Connor who had stopped outside and taken a few steps away from the door.
"Not coming in?" Riley knew Connor's inhabitions towards the Med lab but he assumed that Connor would like to at least speak with the boy that he'd spent time with as a hostage, Connor shook his head though. The look of shame wasn't one you'd see often on Connor, so Riley dropped it and just moved back into the medical room, heading over towards Michael.
"Morning. I'm Riley Finn, head of one of the school teams, X-Force, and one of the student teams, X-Change." Dropping his arms down by his side, his perfect posture still held even though he felt as if he was ready to doze off given half the chance. "I'm a friend of Connor's, he's requesting I talk with you," Wearing black boots, blue-ish grey jeans and a white shirt, Riley looked so simple and though tall and imposing he didn't have that 'dangerous' look he tended to get when wearing his military clothing.
"I was in charge of the Harmony rescue team, it's great to see you are making a quick recovery." Riley added with a charming smile, his eyes slowly drifting off to the other empty beds and then at all the medical equipment. He'd have a panic attack if he ever woke up in a strange medical room, after all the experiments they did on him in the Initiative, adding those implants into him, altering his DNA to make him a better fighter, the endless brainwashings, god knows what else they've done that he hasn't yet discovered.
"I'm here to talk with you about participating in school activities." There was a slight pause before adding "I'm afraid I'm not up to date with your desires, if you are choosing to remain here or leave." Hoping he wasn't jumping ahead of himself, Connor made it sound as if the guy planned on staying, but Riley ought to still ask instead of just assuming things.
Re: Motivation.
Riley wasn't the only one making his way towards the med bay at that moment in time, so was Paige. She still had her left arm in a sling, her shoulder had been giving her more grief since the opperation she'd assisted in. She'd over used her arm during the several hours of surgery and had experienced a couple of nights of disturbed sleep. The result was that she was almost as tired as Riley and feeling more than a little grumpy at the lack of sleep. Under her eyes were dark bags, she'd tried to cover up the bags with conceeler but it hadn't done much good. If she thought lying on the medical beds would do her much good she'd have given them a go, but she was sure that they wouldn't be able to do much for her, when she'd been injured in the first place the bed hadn't seemed to make any difference and she was sure that wouldn't suddenly have changed.
She'd been down to the medical bay a couple of times since the opperation but she'd made no effort to talk to the patient in there, she wasn't sure he was even awake when she was there, Beast had warned her that he might be a threat so Paige sensible as ever had stayed clear of him. It wasn't like she'd been in the medical room for long though, she'd only popped down to do a little paper work for Dr McCoy. She had sneaked a quick look at him the first time she'd got down to the med bay and no one had been around though, checking the stats on the screen, looking at him as if he was something she'd made. But she felt an odd sort of satisfaction when she looked at him, knowing she'd had a hand in his survival. Not that she thought he'd of died if she hadn't have helped out, she was sure Talia would have done just as good, if not better job than her. If her arm hadn't played her up she was sure that she'd have done a better job, but he was alive and that was the main thing.
The doors slid open in front of her as she quietly made her way into the room, one glance asscertained that Talia was working at the desk in the other room and Riley was talking to who she know knew was called Michael. The boy was awake but Paige quickly looked away before he had chance to catch her eye if he wanted to. There was a kind of half nervous smile thrown at Riley, she couldn't help but be shy around him. He was so cute but she knew.. like just about every other girl in the school that he was besotted wth Catherine Hall. She had no delusions either that someone like him would or ever could like someone like her. It was hard not to be envious of girls like Dawn and Lisa, they were so pretty and popular and they were lovley people too. She really admired Angela too, ever since the girl had been friendly to her, Paige had started to look upto her as some sort of role model, if only she had the confidence to act like her. Angie wouldn't have been aware of Paige doing it however since she was so discreet, hanging around near where Angie was sitting with her friends but not somewhere where it would be obvious what she was doing. There was a kind of hope that perhaps, just maybe if she hung around close to Angela that something about her might rub off on Paige. Maybe one day they might even notice that she was sitting there and ask her to come over and join them. As she watched the circle of friends that Angela had she found herself becoming more jelous of what the girl had. Paige had always felt fine being by herself but now she was beginning to feel like it would be a nice thing to have someone other than Beast to talk to. Plus if she had friends as popular as Angela perhaps somehow she could win back Max's attention.
She moved off to the side of the room, opening a draw and pulling out a list of medicines, she had to check what they were running low on so Talia could order some more. She wanted to get the list checked off today and she had a little free time before her first lesson. Putting her bag down on the side she turned her back to Riley and Michael as she opened a cupboard and began to one handedly sort through the contents, making sure she put them back neatly in their correct places incase Beast needed them in a hurry.
Cat: It feels like my world is slipping through my fingers and I don't know how to hold onto it
Re: Motivation.
It wasn’t an easy decision he had reached, choosing to actively join the fight if his hosts would give him the chance to do so. Michael was just coming to terms with its implications when the door opened and a tall athletic young man entered. *Forget it* Michael said to himself. *They wont want my help. This is the sort of guy they’re looking for! The sort of guy who can handle himself ! *
*I don’t suppose he’s here to see me anyway,though I'm sure I've seen him somewhere before. * Michael thought.
"Morning. I'm Riley Finn, head of one of the school teams, X-Force, and one of the student teams, X-Change."
The blond haired young man had stopped at Michael’s bed, the words evidently addressed to him. Michael felt a moment of panic arise. *This is it. I’m obviously not going to croak. Now they’re going to ask me what the hell I’m doing here. And I don’t have a satisfactory answer.* Despite Hank's assurances and his conversation with Ben, Michael still couldn’t believe what they had told him *They’re just going to let me stay here. Yeah right.*
"I'm a friend of Connor's, he's requesting I talk with you."
*Connor! If he’s up and around then he must be all right. I guess that means that he’s back to normal. I should be glad, I am glad.* But still the contradictory visions whirled around in Michael’s head. Connor bending over him, willing him back to life after the magical barrier had ripped his astral being apart. Connor, turning, his eyes cold and fierce as he claws ripped into Michael’s side .
*A spell! * Michael forced himself to remember, *He was under a spell .*It was somehow easier to believe this seeming unimaginable fact than to accept the undeserved hatred he had seen in the other boys eyes. After all it was no harder to believe than the existence of demons or the fact that he himself was a mutant. Once the barrier of incredulity had fallen acceptance was easy.
*It wasn’t really Connor that did this to me * Michael reminded himself. *It was that blue skinned woman that forced his hand. He probably feels bad about the whole business. Maybe I should let him know I understand what happened and that it’s Ok. Because it is Ok isn’t it?*
Confused by his own reaction to the though of meeting Connor again Michael forced himself to concentrate on Riley’s words.
"I was in charge of the Harmony rescue team, it's great to see you are making a quick recovery."
*That’s why he looked familiar. He helped put Connor into the van; I remember seeing him when I was ………dying! I was looking down at them and it was peaceful where I was and then…………..Something happened! Something strange and wrong. What was it? I almost had it there.* But the memory slipped away before he could catch it leaving only a cold feeling in his heart and a vision of yellow eyes.
*Concentrate on the here and now!* Michael told himself *This guy will think you’re the village idiot if you keep zoning out like that*
"I'm here to talk with you about participating in school activities."
*Would they really let me do that. Enrol in classes! Join the chess club or whatever. It seems to good to be true.*
"I'm afraid I'm not up to date with your desires, if you are choosing to remain here or leave."
"Stay!" The word burst out of him before he could stop it. "I mean I'd like to. Stay that is. If that’s all right."
His Scottish accent sounded strange and foreign to his ears in this place. Michael blushed embarrassed by the panic he had felt . He took a deep breath trying to settle his nerves.
"I know it’s a lot to ask but I don’t have anywhere else to go. At least not at the moment. And I don’t have any papers, passport, visa that sort of thing. Didn’t exactly come here on an official airline. In fact I don’t have anything when it comes right down to it. "
It was a strange thought, to have nothing .He hadn’t really realised it up till now but it was true.
"Everything I possess is back in Scotland, my books, my music, my guitar, hell even my clothes. There’s no way I can go back there."
He continued speaking his thoughts out loud, not seeking sympathy, not even really offering an explanation just talking things through to try to clarify tthem in his own mind.
"They’d only pick me up again if I went home. Probably try to get a better price for me. No" he stated, his voice determined. "There’s no way I’m letting them get their hands on me again." The thought of what he had escaped from ran through his mind as he looked up at Riley
"Oh and thanks" he said "Thanks for getting us out of there. I don’t even want to think of what might have happened if you guys hadn’t showed up. Looked like a lose lose situation to me. Dead or some demons pet. Not exactly what I had planned to do with the rest of my life. Anyway, I owe you one. All of you."
Michael smiled a little as he said this * Sure that sounds really impressive. He’s probably thinking ‘great and just what could a loser like this ever do for me.’ *
Michael had no illusions as to how he looked, even if the alien machines had performed wonders he was still a mess. *He’s looking at a skinny kid with needle marks on his arms and a twisted leg. He’ll probably just let me stay out of sympathy. Well I’m in no position to refuse, I suppose, so I'll just have to prove to them that they’re wrong about me.*
"I know I don’t exactly look very useful at the moment but I clean up pretty good." he said determinedly . "I’m sure there’s something I can do round here to pay for my keep. Help out in the library, tutor some of the other students. I’ve done that before, it seemed to work out all right."
"And of course I can fight," he said looking Riley straight in the eyes. "I can help you save other people the way you saved me. If you’ll let me."
Re: Motivation."Stay!" The reply caught Riley slightly by surprise, not by the fact he wanted to stay, but Michael had said it in a way that raised some curiosity within Rye to find out what this goys story was. "I mean I'd like to. Stay that is. If that’s all right." An assuring smile was given to show it was quite all right, the boy seemed jittery, taking that into account and his ill condition, Riley couldn't help but think back to his first time in this room. Of course, Riley had thought Hank was a demon and had lunged at the furred doctor with a flying fist before he tried to hastily make a run for it. Took a better part of three hours to find Riley in the school and he had been thrashed by demons and left for dead in an ally so they were all taken back by the fight he had put up.
Everything about Riley screamed out mysterious, for a while he didn't even speak to anyone while more human looking nurses had calmed him down. Beast didn't avoid Riley, instead the feline physician would hover around Riley and talk with him and tend to him, doing his best to show Riley there was nothing to be either afraid or angry about. If some students from the school hadn't heard the commotion and if they had just left him there, even in his battered condition, his teammates would have returned for him, he didn't let himself doubt that.
"I know it’s a lot to ask but I don’t have anywhere else to go. At least not at the moment. And I don’t have any papers, passport, visa that sort of thing. Didn’t exactly come here on an official airline. In fact I don’t have anything when it comes right down to it." That comment burned its way into Riley's mind, if Michael wanted Riley could create a new identity, or just new papers for him, Riley always liked doing things like that for people. Put some of his training to good use, he just wanted to feel that all his life's work so far would at least still be helpful in some way and not a total waste.
"Everything I possess is back in Scotland, my books, my music, my guitar, hell even my clothes. There’s no way I can go back there." The Initiative had provided basically all of Riley's clothing, so when he left he didn't really miss what he left behind, the added fact he possessed so much money only meant he could replace whatever he lost and buy whatever else he needs. He wanted to start reading again, he put it off once he became part of the secret agency, and he just didn't have the time for such luxuries. Even the guitar was something Riley had, he had two, one in his room here and one still up in his Washington apartment.
"They’d only pick me up again if I went home. Probably try to get a better price for me. No" Everything this guy kept saying kept reminding Riley about something, was this guy so much alike with Riley? A glance over the needle marks made Rye feel uncomfortable and think of the remaining needles still in his possession, as well as the pills, everything the Initiative had tricked him into taking for his 'health'.
The formula was what caused Riley to be so emotionless when he first arrived, he tended to get on well with people after a little while but he didn't seem to show anything more then polite smiles, though after a few months he did manage to start grinning at times. The drugs numbed everything, emotions, will, thought, he had no identity of his own, only whatever the Initiative gave him. The perfect soldier, a puppet without any will of his own, it was still a mystery as to what the extent of the brain washings and control still possessing him are.
When Riley left the school they'd come after him, even when he thought they where gone forever, one came after him, instead of doing Riley the favour of ending this harsh existence, that machine blew away the tiny life he had helped create inside Catherine, nearly taking her life as well.
"There’s no way I’m letting them get their hands on me again." Once Riley had sounded like that.. now.. now what did he want? Did he even care anymore? What was even keeping him here? He had nothing.. he was alone. The one thing that petrified him more then anything else was being alone and that's exactly what he was, utterly alone. His once best friend and cousin thinks he's grown up to be a mutant, they had to make some excuse for his strength in case they catch him doing something most humans couldn't do. But he had loved Ben, they grew up together, well.. up until Riley moved out just before his 14th birthday, but didn't that mean anything? He's a mutant in Ben's eyes and suddenly that changes who he was?
Not to mention his parents that keep looking at him now, they know something's wrong and he knows they are suspicious and wanting to know where he's been for so long, telling them about his amnesia didn't stop them from looking at him as if he was hiding something. The painful truth was that he was hiding something, and it was tearing him apart, Catherine was the only one he could talk with about his past. Sure most of the older X-men and a tiny group of students now have figured out his past, but other then Dawn, he didn't have a tight bond with them, and Dawn was furious that he was - and still is - letting himself break apart over someone like Catherine.
"Oh and thanks" Rye couldn't help but wonder what on earth he was getting thanked for, but his expression lacked any confusion as he offered another small curious smile "Thanks for getting us out of there. I don’t even want to think of what might have happened if you guys hadn’t showed up. Looked like a lose lose situation to me. Dead or some demons pet. Not exactly what I had planned to do with the rest of my life. Anyway, I owe you one. All of you." Not ever the type that took glory in being praised, and missing the once familiar 'Thank you for saving us' 'I owe you' speeches, Riley shyly glanced away for a moment, ending up watching Paige before regaining composure and focusing on Michael again.
"I know I don’t exactly look very useful at the moment but I clean up pretty good." After seeing everything Riley's ever been exposed to, he never judged anyone on appearance. "I’m sure there’s something I can do round here to pay for my keep. Help out in the library, tutor some of the other students. I’ve done that before, it seemed to work out all right." A tutor as well? He grinned slightly but in case Michael might take it the wrong way softened it to a smile.
"And of course I can fight," Connor had already told Riley Michael could fight, as some archer guy, in his illusion. "I can help you save other people the way you saved me. If you’ll let me." Maybe the boy misunderstood what Riley was offering him before, with a smile, glancing over towards Paige curiously for a moment since she seemed somewhat familiar, then looking back at Michael, Rye corrected himself.
"You are welcomed to stay, of course, Connor prepared a room for you, I just wasn't sure if it's long term or not," Pulling a key from his back pocket, Riley showed it to Michael to prove that he was already and prepared to be settled in as soon as he walks out of these medical bay doors. "Xavier has all rooms provided with new clothes, there's a bed and desk, male shower rooms and toilets are just down the hall from where you are located." They didn't have numbers on the doors any more, although all the rooms had numbers on the maps, each door was marked with a stylish wooden plaque and a golden metal surface with black engraved letters forming the name (or names) of whoever inhabited the room.
"And I hope you don't mind, we went into your room, Connor left you some school supplies, class lists, you pick and choose which ones you sign up for, all free, and I left you a library card, after hours access code to the front gate, and I'll organize your I.D.s and anything else you need later. We'll discuss that another time though," He assured the younger man, again feeling a familiarity with all this, slightly spooked him, but at the same time it felt nice to help someone who has nothing like he once had, it was like he was helping an earlier Riley Finn, that felt nice.
"I was referring to your desire to participate within school activities, I can organize a tutor application form for you to fill. I was tutoring last year, the students are a wonderful group. I'm a language teacher now." There was a bright smile, again he glanced over towards Paige, he'd seen her in his files before, he knew who she was and what she did, but there was something familiar about her that he couldn't put a finger on and he knew it was from before he saw her on his computer screen. His memory of his time as Marc Lucas was still foggy, and that had been when he met Paige, he's seen her now and then but most of the time it was just a photo when going over team files.
"As I said, I'm the team leader of a group called X-Force, Connor is the leader of a team called X-treme, a lot of the students you'll meant will know of these teams, not everyone is part of them though." Riley put the key on Michael's side table and then placed his pen down beside it and lifted one of the sheets of paper on his clipboard to read one beneath it.
"Connor and I were going over some free team positions, he told me about your abilities and if you're feeling up to it mentally, which I think you appear to be, we were going to suggest you taking up a position in a new team designated Green Strike Force." Pulling the light green coloured sheet from his clip board, Riley looked over the list of names, "There are just two important questions that I need to know, would you want to do what you saw us do for you earlier.. and do you believe in fairies? One of your possible team members is invisible to those who don't believe." Speaking in a highly off hand and casual way, Riley was obliged to ask this but felt it a stupid question since he can't understand why humans wouldn't believe in Scott. Fairies are as real as demons, angels, and Santa Clause, honestly, what was wrong with people in this world?
Re: Motivation.
It wasn't the most thrilling of jobs, counting medicines but it did mean that she was familiarising herself with the different types that they stocked in the med room and also where they were if she ever needed them. She'd written out neat little labels and stuck them to the sides of the shelves in the cupboard. That way anyone new would know what the thing was on the shelf and where to put it back again. It was amazing the range of things that Dr McCoy had at his disposal to treat the sick, everything from band aids and aspirin to antidepressants and huge pills that were pain killers. It was hard to remember what they all did, and which ones couldn't be used together and the side effects some of them had. She was lucky that she always had Beast there to help her if she had questions.
She'd love to one day become a nurse, or maybe even a doctor if she was good enough, she wanted to expand her abilities of healing people too. It was hard not to be frustrated that she couldn't heal more of the injuries that she saw around her. She didn't know Beast had seen that she was in pain though and was avoiding putting her through anymore, that was all well and good but practising her powers would increase their potency. She'd only had the ability to heal for a couple of years though and in that space of time she'd seen her powers increase.
Stopping for a moment she massaged her shoulder slightly, easing a throbbing sensation that was beginning to radiate down her arm. She let herself listen in on the conversation Riley and Michael were having. It seemed that Xavier wanted the boy to stay because Riley was telling him about the rooms that the school offered to new students. Had Beast been mistaken then? He'd told Paige to stay away from Michael ... she could still remember the exact words he'd used as he shepherded her from the room after the operation. "It seems our patient and Connor Enright had some sort of an altercation. It may be that this young man has some powers of which we are as yet unaware but which could prove harmful to those around him. I think it would be wiser if you did not frequent him until we are sure that all is well." Something inside her had grumbled that it wasn't fair that Talia was allowed to stay while she had to leave, she had just as much right to be there as the other girl. Paige didn't dare protest though, even though she'd been around Beast for some time, she was still very in awe of him and she wasn't one to talk back when she was asked to do anything either.
Her eyes wandered over towards the pair of them who were talking. Did this mean that Michael wasn't dangerous? A sudden wry smile crept over her face, what was she saying? most of the people around her were dangerous in some way or another. Except for her ... she seemed to be one of the few who's powers didn't help them fight... in fact her power didn't seem to help her at all, it was just designed for use by other people. She often thought how cool it would have been to have powers like Sean's or Frost's. Sometimes it felt like her powers sucked but then it was nice to be able to be able to heal people.
"Connor and I were going over some free team positions, he told me about your abilities and if you're feeling up to it mentally, which I think you appear to be, we were going to suggest you taking up a position in a new team designated Green Strike Force." Green strike force? She'd never heard of that team before. She couldn't help feeling a little jealous that he could just walk into the school and into a position on a team. Paige had been there for months before she'd been offered a place and even then it was on Exiles and she didn't have to be a genius to tell that there team was a joke.
Cat: It feels like my world is slipping through my fingers and I don't know how to hold onto it
Re: Motivation.
OOC Sorry but how would you feel if someone asked you that in those circumsatances? By the by Sidhe is the gaelic word for fairies.
....................................................................................
"You are welcome to stay, of course, Connor prepared a room for you, I just wasn't sure if it's long term or not," Relief flooded through Michael as he looked at the key, solid, tangible proof of what he was being offered, lying in Riley’s hand.
"Xavier has all rooms provided with new clothes, there's a bed and desk, male shower rooms and toilets are just down the hall from where you are located.
"And I hope you don't mind, we went into your room, Connor left you some school supplies, class lists, you pick and choose which ones you sign up for, all free, and I left you a library card, after hours access code to the front gate, and I'll organize your I.D.s and anything else you need later. We'll discuss that another time though,"
So many seemingly insurmountable problems casually dismissed as run of the mill, something to be discussed over tea not lain awake worrying about at nights. Schooling, identity, books all restored with a wave of the hand, his life given back to him, altered but intact without a second thought.
Stunned Michael tried to take it all in. *I have a room, somewhere I can go and only lock the door if I want to. Somewhere I can let go and not have to try to pretend to be fine, all right, Ok, all the time. Won’t that be great. I’m so tired of keeping up appearances.*
Practical problems kept trying to force their way to the front of his mind questions he should ask points he should raise. *Is it upstairs? Do they have lifts in this place or am I going have to climb? And the showers, do they have nice user friendly bars for me to hang on to or am I going to end up on a heap on the floor?*
A warning bell went off in Michael's head. *Does he know about me, about my leg? Its obvious he’s talked to Connor but would Connor have thought to mention it? It seems strange if he didn’t. But then Connor is a bit strange.*he reminded himself.
"I was referring to your desire to participate within school activities, I can organize a tutor application form for you to fill. I was tutoring last year, the students are a wonderful group. I'm a language teacher now."
More panic. *I haven’t got that far yet. I’ve not even started university. Maybe I don’t have the level. I should have thought to ask before opening my big mouth.*
"As I said, I'm the team leader of a group called X-Force, Connor is the leader of a team called X-treme, a lot of the students you'll meant will know of these teams, not everyone is part of them though."
*Teams! Whow slow down This is all going to fast for me to take in.* Michael had no doubt as to what kind of teams Riley was talking about The kind he wanted to join.
But now Riley said not everyone participated in this sort of very particular ‘school activity’ *Why would they let me join just like that. They don’t know me, they don’t know what I can or can’t do. I thought I'd have to prove myself. Learn the ropes. Convince them that my physical shortcomings could be worked around. And now they're just handing it to me on a plate? How weird is that!*
"Connor and I were going over some free team positions, he told me about your abilities and if you're feeling up to it mentally, which I think you appear to be, we were going to suggest you taking up a position in a new team designated Green Strike Force."
*Connor ! That must be it. What did he say to them exactly? Is this his way of making up for what happened? He understands my powers at least, probably even better than I do but even so. Did he tell them everything? Do they know exactly what they’re letting themselves in for?*
"There are just two important questions that I need to know,"
Michael braced himself *This is it. Whether Connor did tell him or not now he’s going to ask if me, Michael, I am physically up to it. And I’m going to have to tell him the truth. That I don’t know. That Ill try my hardest but I don’t know.*
"Would you want to do what you saw us do for you earlier.. and do you believe in fairies? One of your possible team members is invisible to those who don't believe"
Michaels cheeks burned, shock registering in his eyes *Its all a joke, some kind of sick joke. I should have known. How could I ever have taken them seriously.* He shook his head. *This guy is good though.He should get an oscar for that performance. He really had me going for it for a while. But then George already proved that I’m willing to swallow anything if its what I want to hear Isn’t that how I got into this mess in the first place?*
"Oh well done!" he said bitterly. "What is this some kind of weird initiation rite or what? Well you can tell whoever put you up to this that I really fell for it hook line and sinker. Me, on one of your teams. I suppose the idea does seem ridiculous but I’d have proved you wrong. if you'd given me the chance. The whole fairie thing though that’s just too much."
"If I were you though Id be careful about taking their name in vain. You can mock me all you like but the sidhe well that’s a different matter."
Homesickness swept over him sudden and unannounced, not for the harshness of the suburbs in which he lived but for the countryside of Scotland the wild mountains purple with the heather, damp with the evening mist.
"Where I come from there are places in the glens where the barrier between their world and ours is so thin if you close your eyes and breath deep you can almost step across. They are fierce and dangerous and beautiful and if you please them they can catch you up and take you back to their land to live forever in the green valleys."
"We even have a word for those amongst us who have the fairie blood running through their veins ‘ Fey’ we call them, They predict the future, see the spirits and feel the changes in the weather. And we’ve all got someone like that somewhere in the family, its just part of life."
"So go on, you can have a laugh about that to if you like, but I’m not ashamed to admit it. If your question had been for real then I’d have answered yes. Of course I believe in fairies and I don’t care who knows it".
Re: Motivation.
The reaction Rye got from the boy was most unexpected and in truth at first Riley had no clue what Michael was on about, merely staring at the guy with a rather blank expression.
"Oh well done!"
A glance was thrown towards Paige, nervous, unsure, was the guy drugged up or something? He sounded bitter.. Riley was just trying to help him..
"What is this some kind of weird initiation rite or what? Well you can tell whoever put you up to this that I really fell for it hook line and sinker. Me, on one of your teams. I suppose the idea does seem ridiculous but I’d have proved you wrong. if you'd given me the chance. The whole fairie thing though that’s just too much."
A frown now appeared on the handsome fighters face, if there was one thing he didn't like it was people making Scott's life harder then it already was. And some purposefully would shout out they don't believe in fairies just to upset whoever was discussing Scott with them and on a few occasions the Prince had been there and the stronger their lack of believe the greater amount of life was being ripped from the poor innocent creature who would usually collapse sickly and weak.
"If I were you though Id be careful about taking their name in vain. You can mock me all you like but the sidhe well that’s a different matter."
Being of Riley's former profession he knew exactly what the Sidhe were, but no one at the school had called fairies that before, so it sounded a little odd even for him.
"Where I come from there are places in the glens where the barrier between their world and ours is so thin if you close your eyes and breath deep you can almost step across. They are fierce and dangerous and beautiful and if you please them they can catch you up and take you back to their land to live forever in the green valleys."
That sounded nice, but Riley still cast a look towards Paige in case she heard Mike babbling and might say it's alright, he was just recently dosed with.. something.
"We even have a word for those amongst us who have the fairie blood running through their veins ‘ Fey’ we call them, They predict the future, see the spirits and feel the changes in the weather. And we’ve all got someone like that somewhere in the family, its just part of life."
Riley had heard of that, of course Riley had heard of nearly everything mythical and supernaturally related. He even did a patrol along the borders of a unique collection of beings calling themselves 'Fae-Folk' and all his troops could feel their tiny eyes on them and occasionally see their small bodies darting about in the trees. They were larger then normal fairies, like the size of a human child at about 4 or 6 years of age usually. Humans with a stronger bloodline of fairies then of humans, taking on wings and pointed ears and their echanted gifts. They had been threatend by a group of human poachers wanting to collect their magically potent blood.
"So go on, you can have a laugh about that to if you like, but I’m not ashamed to admit it. If your question had been for real then I’d have answered yes. Of course I believe in fairies and I don’t care who knows it."
For a moment Riley stared at Michael, it wasn't the first time he's been spoken to like that but Riley was never one to appriciate having someone raise their voice at him. It was hard to shake, being so used to getting respect and people holding their tongue instead of snapping at him. He didn't have a very pleased expression as he replied as smoothly as he could manage, feeling as if the boy had just told him off when all Riley was trying to do was be polite and help him fit into the school. Riley's had little sleep so he was a tad short tempered due to his lack of rest and secret demon thrashing he's been doing.
"That's an extremely peculiar response from someone who was just held by demons, some of which weren't even from this realm or dimension, I would have thought you'd be more open minded." Riley picked up his clip board and pen, flicking through two pages and then focusing on writing down the fact that Michael did believe in fairies. "Your team leader is Alexandra Moore, pull your weight, prove yourself, or you'll be removed from the team." Riley wasn't really giving Michael a chance to respond, it was obvious he hadn't taken kindly to the accusation of someone making him lie about something so serious.
"This is your team communicator, keep it with you at all times, as well as communications it's also a tracking device, we'll find you if you're in trouble again much easier by locating you with this," Placing fingers in his other pocket Riley placed the small black round device down beside Michael's key, since Mike was assigned to one team it meant that an outline of a X would lit up green to signal Green Strike Force as his team. "Connor put you up for assessment, don't think this is some sort of special assignment, you're not the first to be recruited onto a team so soon. Connor has seen how you handle things and his sister vouches for your compitence, if you put one foot out of line I will dismiss you from your assigned group. Any further questions, comments, or harsh accusations you want to get off your chest?" Although the words might have seemed a little grouchy, his expression and tone and softend enough to at least hint he had let the previous comments be pushed aside and was trying to move on with the matter at hand. Besides, when Riley first got here he was convinced they were holding him captive and trying to get information out of him since the Initiative was concerned Xavier was building a mutant army to go against the human government. Some people just needed a little assurence on the matter.
As far as Riley was concerned, Michael was either going to just have to accept that this offer was for real, and even if he didn't trust Riley's word, as long as he attended the meeting that Miss Moore was organizing then there wasn't much more proof this guy ought to need unless he was really thick headed.
Re: Motivation.
Fairies? Paige stopped with one hand clasping a bottle of heavy duty pain killers, her face turned towards the two boys.. who on earth believed in fairies? She’d been taught to believe in only things that she could see and touch and of course if you don’t believe in fairies then you couldn’t see them, hence her not really being aware that there were any dwelling in the school. It was hard not to be a little incredulous over the fact that there were two almost fully grown men standing there talking about fairies. Michael didn’t seem very happy over what he was being questioned, but then it’s not every day men start asking you if you believe in fairies.
"Oh well done!" The words he spoke sounded bitter and hateful, Paige couldn’t help but wonder what he’d been though to make him so openly resentful towards everything that Riley was doing to him. The ex-initiative solider seemed to have the same thoughts since he looked over towards her and gave her a rather nervous look. Didn’t he understand that Riley was one of the good guys, he was trying to help him to fit in at this rather extraordinary school. She remembered how awkward and out of place she herself had felt in her first few weeks at the school, it took time to find your place in the busy comings and goings in the school. Her place it seemed was between the pages of a book, she’d found it hard to fit in and several years of home tutoring hadn’t helped her in her quest for friendship. She wasn’t used to talking to people her own age, with Beast it was different, he was older, and he didn’t treat her as if she were a freak just for wanting to learn. She couldn’t help feeling shy talking to him, sometimes feeling as if he just put up with her, rather than wanting her to be around.
"Where I come from there are places in the glens where the barrier between their world and ours is so thin if you close your eyes and breath deep you can almost step across. They are fierce and dangerous and beautiful and if you please them they can catch you up and take you back to their land to live forever in the green valleys." There was a slightly wistful look in her eyes as she looked at Michael, listening to his broad accent as he spoke. He made it sound so beautiful.. she’d never been to Scotland, she’d never even been to Europe but something stirred in her chest as she listened to him. She’d seen pictures in books and seen things on the TV, it looked like an amazing country full of wild mountains and moors populated by purple heather bushes. There was a sudden desire in her to go there, to see for herself. A moment later however she shook herself, she was being stupid, she couldn’t afford to go to Europe, and neither could her parents. She turned back to the cupboard and placed the pain killers down again, writing the number eight on her sheet. It was hard not to become distracted again though as their conversation progressed.
"That's an extremely peculiar response from someone who was just held by demons, some of which weren't even from this realm or dimension, I would have thought you'd be more open minded." Her knees were beginning to hurt since she’d been kneeling on the floor for a couple of minutes, she stretched out on hand to rub them, her rather pale face looking over towards the boys, so used to people ignoring her that she didn’t think that they might think it odd and a little rude that she was blatantly listening in on their conversation. She wondered what had happened to Michael.. perhaps he’d been kept in the same place as she had around Christmas? not realising that the scientists who’d held Michael were completely different to the Initiative. The boy who was lying on the bed was suddenly a lot more interesting to her than he had been five minutes ago, it was hard not to be curious though, she wanted to know how he’d got those scars. She stared at Michael as Riley finished talking as if expecting him to just suddenly blurt out what had happened to him. There was a little blush on her cheeks as she realised she was staring and she turned away to the cupboard again. He wasn’t some kind of dissection specimen, she couldn’t just ogle at him like an animal at the zoo. If he had no qualms about yelling at Riley then he’d certainly not appreciate her staring at him.
Cat: It feels like my world is slipping through my fingers and I don't know how to hold onto it
Re: Motivation."Any further questions, comments, or harsh accusations you want to get off your chest?"
Michael was still reeling from the shock of Rileys reaction . The young man seemed to find it incredibly that anyone could possibly doubt the veracity of the offer he had made And yet was it really so hard to understand that someone thrown head first into such a situation, into such a world would have trouble accepting its strange new possibilities?
The communicator was lying there on the bedside cabinet, as real as the door key he had been previously given, its very presence arguing the every day nature of the recruitment offer he had just received. *He’s for real* Michael thought *He’s just offered me my chance to help out and I’ve thrown it back in his face. But its just too much to take in.*
Suddenly he noticed a girl about his own age watching him timidly from the other room and blushed again. *Great! She’ll have heard everything. How many more people have I humiliated myself in front of?*
Riley was still looking at him expectantly, his displeasure tempered but still obvious in his face.
"Yes" Michael said answering Riley’s question "I suppose I do have something else to say."
He hesitated searching the words that would explain how he felt without making the situation worse.
"If the offer is real then I’m sorry for doubting you. But all this, Demons, Teams Other dimensions. Its all new to me."
He continued slowly, feeling his way through his confusion. "I didn’t even know I was a mutant till about 4 months ago when the experiments started. I hadn’t realised there was anything different about my blood and I thought what I did, the astral projection thing, was just a weird aftermath of the accident. To tell the truth I didn’t question too closely where it came from, I was just glad to have it . "
He looked up at Riley, willing him to understand. "Then I got brought here for the auction and suddenly there were all these supernatural beings just walking around and Connor and Madison acting as if it was just part of everyday life."
"Well its not for me. For me this is another world and I suppose I’m having difficulty taking it in."
"And as for the whole team thing," he continued wistfully, "well that was something I wanted, something I needed To be useful To be able to fight back. A reason to get back on my feet again."
He shook his head in wonderment "But I didn’t really think it would happen, at least not right away. I thought Id have to prove I could do it, convince people that my physical limitations wouldn’t be a problem."
"So" he said "when you just sort of handed it to me on a plate it seemed to good to be true."
"Last time someone came to me offering something I wanted that badly I jumped at it. But it turned out to be a scam."
His eyes clouded as he thought back to Brady’s sordid little scheme the promise of a new treatment that could have helped him walk normally again. "Ended up with me being auctioned off at Harmony. I promised myself I wouldn’t be that naïve again. So when you asked me if I believed in fairies I just thought there it is There’s the catch. This is just another pipe dream I was starting to believe in."
He sighed wearily. "Things have been going wrong for so long now its hard to accept that maybe something good can actually happen. But I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot. This is a new beginning for me and I don’t want it to be spoiled because the last few months have made me too wary to trust anybody. That would mean that they had won, the people who did this to me, and I wont let that happen."
Michael's face was serious as he concluded "I guess what I’m trying to say is, if its still Ok with you, Ill be there tomorrow at the team meeting. Or at least Hood will. And I’ll make sure you don’t regret giving me this chance. I promise I won’t let you down."
Re: Motivation."Yes" It was strange, did Riley really act so different around Catherine then he did with others? Why did he seem to always have such a negative effect on people… was Catherine really just tolerating him that much? To a point others couldn’t be bothered even trying? "I suppose I do have something else to say." For a moment Riley wondered if it would be more arguments or blunt ‘You’re lying to me’ accusations again, Riley didn’t like it when people said he lies, he’s always had trouble with lying to others, which is why his life with the Initiative was so hard when he started making friends at the school.
"If the offer is real then I’m sorry for doubting you. But all this, Demons, Teams Other dimensions. Its all new to me."
It was so easy for Riley to forget that ‘normal’ people aren’t familiar with the life Riley and so many others here have grown up with, that people really don’t believe in things that are around them all the time, like Gnomes, spirits and those annoying house elves and other similar creature that move things around just to enjoy watching you search for them.
"I didn’t even know I was a mutant till about 4 months ago when the experiments started. I hadn’t realised there was anything different about my blood and I thought what I did, the astral projection thing, was just a weird aftermath of the accident. To tell the truth I didn’t question too closely where it came from, I was just glad to have it . "
Being so exhausted and feeling as if the guy was trying to convince Riley of something important made the former Agent think over his earlier words, lacking sleep and being sore might have made what he said sound worse then he intended it to, he wished things were easier, people weren’t as hard to talk with back in the Initiative. Or maybe they were used to interacting in a different way, and that way wasn’t being very compatible with his life here, maybe that’s one of the reasons for at least one of the times Catherine left him.
"Then I got brought here for the auction and suddenly there were all these supernatural beings just walking around and Connor and Madison acting as if it was just part of everyday life."
Well it was, at least that’s what Riley thought, he’d find the world absolutely boring if it only had people, humans were self-destructive and also highly focused on their own lives, at least demons made Riley’s life interesting, always causing problems that he could solve and making challenges that he can over come. It’s the only reason he’s been able to last at the school for this long, he’d have left or worse ended his pathetic new life, if he was taken from that world and forced into an everyday human society. Life was hard enough a change for him when he left Iowa for the city, leaving one world for another blander one was bound to be worse.
"Well its not for me. For me this is another world and I suppose I’m having difficulty taking it in."
In a sense Riley could understand that, he’d had trouble taking in the common day-to-day activities of normal people, heck, he’d avoided shopping until Catherine agreed to go with him and show him how to handle himself, and he still found it all so demanding and overwhelming. Why was Michael being so defensive? Now Riley felt bad, as if he scolded the guy without realizing it and Michael was defending himself from Riley’s attack.
"And as for the whole team thing," Slowly Riley’s eyes closed and then opened again, a slow blink that would hint to his exhaustion or be mistaken for boredom if anyone was really criticizing his body language, "well that was something I wanted, something I needed To be useful To be able to fight back. A reason to get back on my feet again." Alright, that sounded all good then, so why did Riley get yelled at? Catherine had been assigned to a team, though he had wanted her to fit in and was trying to help her get settled into a group and hopefully make new friends. She had been really hard on Riley at first, and then she had been thrown into another dimension, and Riley felt horrible since he couldn’t stop it and his head implant went off immobilizing him and painfully causing him to black out.
"But I didn’t really think it would happen, at least not right away. I thought Id have to prove I could do it, convince people that my physical limitations wouldn’t be a problem."
"So" Connor said he could put up a fight, Riley’s not going to judge anything until he reads Michael’s medical files, later though.. after sleep, and besides, shouldn’t Mike be happy that he was accepted then instead of suspicious and distrusting? "when you just sort of handed it to me on a plate it seemed to good to be true."
"Last time someone came to me offering something I wanted that badly I jumped at it. But it turned out to be a scam."
That reminded Riley of how Professor Walsh spoke about the Initiative, she made it sound so wonderful and as if him and his two best friends, Forrest and Graham would be heroes, like in movies, or comics, or in Riley’s case, in stories of books he has read. They drugged him so he would do what they told him to do, they changed him, changed his very genetic structure just so he had enhanced abilities like his strength and high stamina. Then on top of that they brainwashed him, he didn’t even know that with four simple numbers spoken to him, he’d listen to any command given to him, it had happened once in front of everyone back when Belthazor demanded Riley (Who was his alter-ego at the time known as Marc Lucas) to lower his weapon. So many things he’s done without realizing it, so many things they’ve done to him that he isn’t aware of, Riley wanted so badly just to be normal and at the same time if he ever was normal he’d realize how much his altered state had become a part of him, he’d not deal well at all losing his strength. Though regarding the way they trained his mind to over look blood would be nice to undo, it would mean he wasn’t as clumsy with sharp things, the number of times he’s cut himself without realizing it is almost countless and the added fact he isn’t as sensitive to pain as normal humans are only help him over look the cuts. Angela ended up getting him a special shaving tool for him to use since he’d always be in hurries in the mornings when he first arrived to the school (excited about being back in school he had crammed his days with as many classes as possible the year before) usually he’d rush his shaving and end up with a cut or more which he would never notice.
"Ended up with me being auctioned off at Harmony. I promised myself I wouldn’t be that naive again. So when you asked me if I believed in fairies I just thought there it is There’s the catch. This is just another pipe dream I was starting to believe in."
It had felt like that for Riley when Catherine took him away from the Initiative, maybe at the time he didn’t know what exactly was going on, everything had been confusing and he had felt so misplaced and lost, but it always made him feel better to be around Catherine. There was had been such a strong connection with her that he could barely understand since she often acted as if they didn’t know each other much at all. And when he was able to kiss her, it had felt so right, he felt right, he didn’t care about anything, his mostly blank memory was unimportant just as long as he had someone he could be so close to. But she didn’t believe him then either, did he really seem such an untrustworthy person that everyone’s first reaction was to doubt what he does or says? All Michael did was scoff at him, Catherine had left him for six months, no reason, no good-bye, he just got upset she didn’t believe he meant his kiss and upon turning his back on her she had snuck away and out of his life.
"Things have been going wrong for so long now its hard to accept that maybe something good can actually happen. But I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot. This is a new beginning for me and I don’t want it to be spoiled because the last few months have made me too wary to trust anybody. That would mean that they had won, the people who did this to me, and I wont let that happen."
Taking a moment to study over Michael’s appearance, Riley wondered more about this guy’s history, he’d have to do some background research, see what else Connor or maybe even Madison knows, it was a habit that was proving difficult to break, always wanting to know all about those working with or around him as was usually done in the Initiative. It didn’t occur to Riley that some people might disapprove of having their lives invaded like that, he didn’t want others to know he had access to information on other people though in case they decided to try and nag him continuously to find out about someone they were curious about.
"I guess what I’m trying to say is, if its still Ok with you, Ill be there tomorrow at the team meeting. Or at least Hood will. And I’ll make sure you don’t regret giving me this chance. I promise I won’t let you down."
Wow, Riley must have really said something in a way that set this guy off, or more the fact he was so tired he sounded a little more snappish then usual, he was really to tired to think it over at the moment, mornings haven’t been the best for him lately, or nights, in fact entire days are pretty much tiresome for the former demon-hunter whose only bright moments seemed to be around his ex-girlfriend, Catherine.
"Sounds good." Trying to sound a little bit more positive while he spoke, "I wasn’t told much about the meeting, only that it’s out side, at ten o’clock." For a moment Riley wondered if he could coax Paige into giving him something to help him sleep, but then she might tell Beast and then he’d ask Riley why he wasn’t sleeping and it would all lead to complications and more questions that Riley wasn’t ready to start answering, not that he knew why he was feeling sick now and then, he just didn’t want to have to bring up his little outings at night to hunt demons.
"Any further questions can be asked directly to your team leader, Miss Alexandra Moore, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to bed." There was a slight wave of his hand before he turned and moved over towards the door, looking in a hurry since he felt as if he might just collapse any moment in a snoozing bundle on the floor. He realized once he left he probably should have stayed and talked more with Michael about the whole new life he'll be leading here, but they can always talk later, or Riley can ask Connor to speak with him about it, right now all that mattered was finding his bed before someone else needed him.
TBC: Later during the team missions..
I can't dream another dream without you by my side..
ooc: There you go, hands you a horribly overdue post.
There was quiet in the room after Riley had left, broken only by the breathing of the two occupants and the sound of the rattle of pills against the side of the containers Paige was counting. She wrote down a neat six next to the allergy tablets she’d been counting. Spring was coming and the school being set out in the countryside meant that there were more than a couple of the students who’d be coming in with streaming noses and eyes. Paige herself had never really been affected by hay fever, she was however allergic to cat hair which meant that whenever her parents went to visit her Gran, Paige was left behind with the old lady across the street who’s house smelt of boiled cabbage.
After a short pause there was a curious little look over her shoulder to see what Michael was upto, staring at him for a moment when she found that he wasn’t looking in her direction. She’d heard that Connor was the one who’d caused him those injuries, she’d overheard Beast and Talia talking about it the other day. The thought that a student at her school had done that to someone had meant that she’d given Connor a wide berth after hearing that, not that he’d notice, she wasn’t exactly someone he ever talked to … looked at … realised was alive.
With a last little look down at her sheet, which was now at least partly filled in, rather than the blank sheet that it had been when she’d entered the room. Her back was beginning to ache from bending over, she’d come back later, perhaps lunch time, she needed the early evening to go to the library to finish an assignment she’d been set earlier that week. She let her body stretch slightly as she stood up, her right hand moving to readjust her arm in the sling she was wearing over her shoulder. Her feet made little sound on the floor as she quickly made her way over towards the main computer screen, Dr McCoy sometimes left her messages on the machine so it was more out of habit that she approached the computer than anything else.
She couldn’t resist a quick flip through Michael’s files though, she wanted to know what had happened, what he’d been involved in, but she couldn’t gain access to anything other than the details of the operation and the state he was in now. She let a slight frown creep over her face as she quickly moved her fingers across the keypad of the computer, bringing up the different screens showing his progress. Her eyes flicked over towards him and then back down to the flat screened computer. With a nervous glance over to the room Talia was sitting in she got rid of the screens and pulled up one from Beast asking her if she could give him some more tablets for the pain. She wasn’t all together sure she was supposed to be looking at his files, though she’d not exactly been told to. It was like most things, if you tell someone not to do something they will usually go and do it. It was the same with Michael, she’d been told not to go near him by Beast the other day but that served only to make her more curious about him. Why was she supposed to be so careful around him? She’d seen the state his body was in the other night and she knew enough to realize that the old injuries he’d sustained meant that his movement must be affected.
Paige moved quickly across the med bay again, heading straight for the cupboard that contained the painkillers that he’d been prescribed. She unscrewed the top of the bottle and tipped out two of the large tablets, they had a side effect that would make him quite dozy after a while. There was a water cooler that stood against the wall and she took one of the plastic cups she placed the two pills inside it, taking another she partly filled it with water. It was hard not to look a little intimidated as she made her way towards the bed that the boy was lying upon. It was even harder to screw up her courage enough to actually speak to him, it was so hard to talk to people she didn’t know. A little part of her wanted him to tell her more about Scotland, he’d made it sound so beautiful.
‘Errr Beast wants you to take these… they’re pain killers, ummm they’ll make you drowsy when they kick in.’ She waited to see his reaction before she handed the cups over to him.
Cat: It feels like my world is slipping through my fingers and I don't know how to hold onto it
Re: Motivation.
Michael lay looking at the ceiling, trying to tell himself that he hadn’t just made a complete fool of himself and failing miserably.
*What ever possessed me to try to explain things to that guy?* he wondered. *It was obvious he was bored out of his skull but I just kept yammering on.*
Michael took a deep breath fighting down the feeling of humiliation that was rising within him Riley had probably been out all night saving the world or something. The last thing he needed was some loser baring his soul to him. The boy sighed resignedly. *I just wanted him to understand why I hadn’t believed what he said. To try to set things right. Guess its too late for that now.*
The thought of the team meeting the next day now filled him with apprehension rather that anticipation. He had so wanted to be allowed to participate in the fight but it was all happening so fast.
*I told him Id be there and I will, but what if they’re all like him? Will they give me time to learn or am I supposed to just adapt to everything they throw at me without hesitation?* he asked himself. Because I don’t know if I can do that.
He could feel the pain starting its insidious call, spreading throughout his body despite the healing machines best efforts. His helplessness before it made him want to weep but he refused to do so, closing his eyes tight to keep the tears from falling.
*Its too hard. Do they even know how difficult this is for me. Connor and the others? Maybe I should be glad that they don’t. I don’t want their pity but…….. oh a little more time would be good.*
*If I could just be Hood everything would be Ok but I can’t What will I do if this team leader insists on meeting Michael out there tomorrow?* he thought worriedly *Can I even stand up? I’m not sure. Not sure at all. *He remembered trying to stand in the cage, the pain lancing into his legs, blinding in its intensity, his right leg buckling and twisting under the effort.
After the accident he had worked for months to get back some mobility , surprising the physiotherapists with his dogged determination, winning their respect as he forced his injured body to perform. His left leg had been badly broken but the surgeons had painstakingly pieced it back together. His right leg had been a shattered wreck that they had fought to save, and then wondered if they had not made a mistake in doing so.
They had said in all probability that he wouldn’t walk again but he had proved them wrong fighting every pain ridden inch of the way until at last he had weaned himself off the crutches and could make his way around with only a cane for support. *No* he admitted sadly. *A cane and endless painkillers.*
He needed some now, could feel his body crying out for them. *I wont ask. I can hold out a little longer, hell I’m only lying here. Its really not that bad. Nothing like what it will be when I get up. When I have to learn how to walk all over again,* Michael thought. Of all the things that had been inflicted on him over the last months the undoing of all his hard work had been hardest to accept, perhaps because it had been the easiest to avoid.
Certainly his brother and Dr Brady had in their own twisted way needed to inject him with their variety of debilitating diseases in order to prove his ability to produce a viable antidote but they had not been obliged to keep him strapped down for days on end while they did so.
It had been a casual cruelty, robbing him of the means to maintain the gruelling series of exercises that forced some semblance of suppleness into his ruined limbs. *George! He crippled me twice* Michael reflected bitterly *Don’t you just adore brotherly love?*
A slight noise urged him to open his eyes again. Forcing his eyelids apart he remarked a young girl coming towards him, the same one that had previously overheard his embarrassing conversation with Riley. He groaned inwardly feeling the blush rise to his cheeks before his attention was drawn to what she held in her hand.
Salvation! Every fibre of his being leapt at the thought of the swallowing down the blessed drugs. He struggled to keep the desperation out of his eyes as she spoke
‘Errr Beast wants you to take these… they’re pain killers, ummm they’ll make you drowsy when they kick in.’
Michael stared at the round white pill nestling in the plastic cups forcing himself to resist the temptation to grab it and swallow them down.
"I know" he said, his voice shaky with longing. "Dr McCoy gave me some earlier." He looked up into her eyes trying to smile "But I don’t need them just yet" he lied. "Could you maybe just leave them beside me and Ill take them later?"
*Sure like I’m going to resist them for very long* he thought. *Who am I fooling?* Still he had to try, even if he knew he was doomed to failure, because if he didn’t then the drugs would dominate his existence and he couldn’t let that happen.
The girl was still waiting beside the bed. Like Talia she looked too young to be a nurse, the sling she wore to support he arm making her look oddly vulnerable. Suddenly something fell into place in the back of Michael’s mind.
"You’re Paige aren’t you? Hank ..I mean Dr McCoy told me about you. He said you helped save my life."
Michael sounded a little unsure of himself as he continued not wanting to make another bad impression.
"Considering I’ve just humiliated myself in front of the last guy that helped me out this is maybe not the thing to say but thanks. I really appreciate what you did for me. It couldn’t have been easy what with you being hurt and all."
His smile was sincere this time as he asked "Are you going to help with the rehab? If you are I guess we’ll be getting to know each other better. It feels like its going to be a long haul."
Re: Motivation.
seconds. She kept the cup containing the pills held out towards him, her eyes shifting from his face to look at the cup and then back again. It was so hard, all this interacting with other people, everyone around her seemed to be able to talk to people so easily yet she felt as if she fumbled around looking for the right words to use. To other people her problems would hardly be noticeable but to Paige it felt sometimes as if it were a struggle to communicate.
"I know" Her eyes blinked shut for a moment and then opened again, looking down at him out of their pale depths. He sounded slightly hostile and she was afraid she'd said something to anger him, her hand instinctively withdrew the cup away from him slightly. Paige's eyes dropped to examine her shoes, couldn't he just take the pills and then she could get to class? "Dr McCoy gave me some earlier." There was a kind of grimace on his face as he tried to smile up at her. "But I don’t need them just yet" She wondered if he was in pain, it was funny that some people, mainly men would put up with a lot of pain as if somehow they thought it would inconvenience a doctor or nurse to heal them. There was something in the taught expression on his face that hinted that he probably was in pain though his pride might not be able to admit it.
"Could you maybe just leave them beside me and Ill take them later?" That was out of the question, she couldn't just leave heavy duty pain killers lying around on the side could she? It wasn't that she didn't trust Michael.. well, in truth it partly was. She'd never had Connor down as the sort of guy to attack someone for no reason and part of her was wondering if perhaps this guy had started the fight between the two of them.
"You’re Paige aren’t you? Hank ..I mean Dr McCoy told me about you. He said you helped save my life." There was a little flush of colour to her otherwise pale cheeks. She hadn't done much really, just made sure that he was still breathing and assisted Beast. It was nothing Talia couldn't have done for him. "Considering I’ve just humiliated myself in front of the last guy that helped me out this is maybe not the thing to say but thanks. I really appreciate what you did for me. It couldn’t have been easy what with you being hurt and all." There was a modest type of shrug of her shoulders and she looked down at her arm that was carrying the beaker of water. Why was he taking the time to thank her? shouldn't he be thanking Beast?
"Are you going to help with the rehab? If you are I guess we’ll be getting to know each other better. It feels like its going to be a long haul." She didn't know.. she'd not really talked with Beast about rehab, not that she did much talking, she was the one of talk and she was the one who listened and tried to remember what she was being told. There was something about the easy way he was talking to her that made her think back to when Max had first started talking to her. There was a slightly pained expression in her eyes as she looked away, perhaps he'd one day he'd realise he still liked her. She hoped this Michael didn't think that if he was nice to her and was going to sleep with him or anything, what had happened with Max had opened her eyes up to the world a little and in future she wasn't going to be as trusting of men.
'I dunno... maybe. You should take these now, I can't leave them for you.' Her pale eyes flicked back to him, wondering what he motive for talking to her was, maybe he knew she could heal people and wanted her to help him. The only time people seemed to notice her was when they wanted something, help with their homework, the spots on their face healing before their date tonight or someone to photocopy notes off in class.
The girl looked less than pleased by his attempt at conversation and certainly didn’t seem to want to continue talking to him.* I knew I should just have shut up* Michael reproached himself.* When will I learn to keep quiet? But I don’t see what I said to offend her, to cause that hurt look in her eyes. That was the last thing I wanted to do.*
A wave of loneliness passed over him. He had never really had any close friends his own age back home but at least in Scotland he had known all the ways in which he had failed to fit in. And he had realised that he had only to wait till he reached university to find a place where he would be accepted, maybe even appreciated. Now he had lost all that or rather had had it taken from him. Everything here was new and strange beyond belief and he didn’t seem to be able to say anything right.
For a moment the sadness welled up in him, clouding his eyes. He forced it down, struggling to focus on the fact that he was safe and free after so long, but unreasonably it didn’t seem to be enough.
“You should take these now, I can't leave them for you.”
Paige held out the pills again and Michaels resolve crumbled. *Why did I even try?* he asked himself *It was stupid! Like everything else I’ve said or done in the last half hour. I should just accept that this is what my life’s going to be like from now on. Maybe there are some things you cant fight after all.
“Of course." he said softly. "Sorry! I shouldn’t have asked you to”
The embarrassment was clear in his voice as he struggled to sit, wincing at the pain as he did so. He stretched his hand out awkwardly for the pills, shamed by its trembling as it closed around the plastic cup, the alien tubes still dangling, plugged into his veins.
Quickly he popped the pills into his mouth, their bitterness harsh on his tongue as he fumbled for the water she offered him. They were large and cloying, sticking in his throat, making him cough as he choked them down. His healing side didn’t appreciate the fact, lancing him as he moved and Michael was pale and trembling by the time he lay down heavily once more against the cushioning pillows.
“My heart aches and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains.”
The words of the poem rose unbidden to his mind, his eyes widening in confusion as he realised he had spoken them out loud.
*Oh please no! Don’t let me have done that! I was shutting up. I promise I was. How much more can I embarrass myself in one day?*
He looked resignedly up into Paiges pale eyes.
"Keats.'Ode to a Nightingale’ " he explained forlornly "It…. just….. seemed…… appropriate……."
His voice tailed off *Crash and burn Michael ! Crash and burn!*
Re: Motivation. “Of course." It was clear to her that he was embaressed, his cheeks flushing slightly, she couldn't help but feel bad over the fact that she'd put him in a compromising situation. She had no wish to make him feel uncomfortable.. it was just that she couldn't leave pills like this lying around. "Sorry! I shouldn’t have asked you to” Her eyes darted over his pale face and blonde hair, looking away as he sat up, trying to ignore the fact that it was obvious that the movement had caused him some considerable pain.
His hand trembled slightly, weather it was out of the effort of supporting himself or pain she couldn't tell as he reached out for the cup that held the pills, tipping them into his mouth. It was a little harder for her to hold out the water towards him since her arm was bandaged. Her head turned slightly to the side as if to afford him some scant privacy as he spluttered and coughed the pills down.
Her whole body twisted slightly as if she were about to turn away and leave but she hesitated as he started talking, her attention zipping back to him again.
“My heart aches and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains.”
Keats? He liked Keats? There really was something fascinating about Michael, it might mainly be because she'd been told by Beast to stay away from him... and of course if someone tells you not to do something it makes you want to do it all the more. She wasn't being disrespectful of Beast on purpose, but this boy who looked slightly older than her seemed to be one surprise after another. There was probably something more attractive about the fact that he didn't know something had happened between her and Max, people had started to figure out that something had gone on between the two of them and she kept on being teased about it.
She didn't know much about wounds but after seeing what state his body was in, and the old scars he'd gained she hadn't really needed any help from Beast to work out for herself that his mobility must have been affected. Could a cripple be that much of a threat to her that Beast had warned her to stay away from him, he didn't look that threatening.
"Keats.'Ode to a Nightingale’ " There was a quick little nod of her head, her good hand fiddling with a stray thread of material. She'd studied Keats in her English lessons, but she found a real enjoyment in his works. For Christmas her parents had bought her a large book with gold writing on the front that contained a lot of his poems.
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:
’Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,
But being too happy in thine happiness,—
There was a little smile that hovered around her lips, as if worried to settle on her face. Her eyes darted through to where Talia was sitting, good it didn't seem that the other mutant had heard her. She had fun poked at her for enough things and she didn't need a liking of poetry added to that list.
Re: Motivation.
OOC Sorry Jenn! Had to do the school run and forgot to sign off! Must just have missed you!
...................................................................................
Michael stared at Paige in wonder as she completed the quotation, the beautiful words a balm on his wounded soul, a bridge across the differences that separated them. He saw the ghost of a smile hovering on her lips and answered it with a grin of his own, its warmth lighting up his face, making him look almost well. Making him look almost like Hood.
“Oh wow!" he said delightedly "I can’t remember the last time anybody did anything other than laugh when I let things like that slip, let alone joined in.”
It was true In the housing estate he had been brought up on a liking for literature and studies wasn’t seen as ‘cool’. Michael had been branded as a geek since the age of seven but he had learned to live with it, far preferring the imaginary worlds he found between the pages of his books to the careless violence that surrounded him. When the other kids had been joining gangs and sniffing glue, he had been taking the one ring to Mordor and memorising Tennyson. He always felt he had the best of the deal. Up until the accident the only thing he had been addicted to had been poetry and prose. How he wished that was still the case.
The local library had become his sanctuary, a place of calm and silence he could retreat to in the face of the ridicule of his peers and his parents bewildered expressions. He never doubted their love for him but had long since given up hoping for their understanding. He missed them unconditionally and the thought that he would probably never see them again tore a hole in his heart, but in times past he had still longed for the day when he could have left their home to make his own place in the world, a place filled with books and poetry and conversation.
Now that his world was filled instead with demons and fairies and the memory of cruelty the treasured verses seemed all the more precious, an oasis of familiar solace in the midst of confusion. *And perhaps* he thought looking up at Paige *I have found someone I could share them with. That would be good. To discuss Blake’s visions or what Melville really meant by the whiteness of the whale.* Michael felt his spirits lift at the prospect.
The past months had taken their toll on his emotions as well as his body He found himself seesawing between depression and optimism with rollercoaster regularity, his basically optimistic and determined personality fighting its way to the fore despite all the difficulties life had thrown at him
Now this girl's understanding was enough to wash away the sense of inadequacy and awkwardness he had felt since the end of his discussion with Riley, restoring his tentative hope as to his future at the school. Talia and Ben had both been kind and Hank had made him feel safe. Just because he had got off on the wrong foot with Riley didn’t mean that everything was negative. He recognised belatedly that part of his problem had been caused by his body’s overwhelming need for the drugs Paige had just offered him. That was something he would have to deal with later but for the moment he just wanted to smile with relief.
“I really thought you’d think Id completely lost it" he said to Paige. "Seems instead I’ve stumbled upon a kindred spirit! Makes a nice change." He felt some of the tension start to leave him as he waited for the pain killers to kick in.
"So is it just poetry or literature in general?" He nodded towards the volume of Dickens lying by his bed. "Hank got that for me. I’ve been a bit starved recently," he went on, the irony of the phrase unintentional though it was obvious to anyone looking his emaciated form that it was true in the literal as well as the figurative sense.
"Only had access to one book in the last four months. Thankfully it was a good one. Our Mutual Friend. It just about saved my life. Well, kept me sane at least."
His voice was wistful as he continued. "When I get up I’m going to go down to the library and take a deep breath, just to get the smell of the books ."
"Woah" Michael said half laughing. "Now that even sounded weird to me. I should quit while Im ahead "
The smile was still there as he asked "But seriously what sort of things do you like?"
Re: Motivation.
She watched as a sudden grin flooded across his face at her words, she'd suprised herself really, she wasn't one to go around blurting out poetry either. There was a sudden embaressed look to her, her eyes drifting off towards the floor rather that look at him.
“Oh wow!" He sounded excited, her eyes lifting for a moment to look at him. "I can’t remember the last time anybody did anything other than laugh when I let things like that slip, let alone joined in.” His accent made it a little hard for her to follow what he was saying, especially as he'd increased the speed at which he was speaking. There was a slightly confused expression on her face but she didn't get chance to make any sort of reply because he happily seemed to ramble on without waiting for her.
“I really thought you’d think Id completely lost it" There was a sharp look thrown towards the door, she wasn't supposed to be talking to him. Half of her wanted to obay Dr Mc Coy but the other part was interested to know more about this boy who was paying her more attention than she'd been given by anyone but Max. His name made her remember that she had a history class in a few minutes and that Max'd be there. Perhaps today was the day which he'd actually talk to her. She hadn't plucked up the courage to confront him herself, not that it was likley she ever would she was far too nervous. Anyway why would he choose her over Garnet, Garnet was beautiful and had amazing powers and she ... she was just Paige, boring ordinary Paige. She couldn't be truley mad with Max because there was a little part of her that agreed with him that she. It was hard for even her to forget the nasty things he'd said about her, his nickname of bookworm, what he'd said to her when they were in the caves with Riley about how she was useless in bed and that they'd never even been going out in the first place. She was still trying to convince herself that he hadn't really meant what he said about her, why would he want to be that nasty to her? It had been the first time she'd stood up to someone and he'd just ripped her apart by telling her that she meant nothing to him. There was still the blind beliefe that somehow, one day he'd realise that he was wrong and that he did really like her.
"But seriously what sort of things do you like?" There was a blink of her eyes ... he was still talking to her? She hadn't realised, she'd been so lost in her own thoughts of Max. She wasn't even sure why this boy was taking the time to talk to her when everyone else couldn't. There was a long pause, her body backing away from his a little. She wasn't sure quite what to make of Michael. She was saved however by the faint ringing of a bell summoning her to class.
'Err Sorry, I.. I have to go to class.' As she was speaking her hands were reaching out for her bag that she'd left on the table and her books, using her good hand to support them against her chest. She hovered in the doorway for a moment not wanting to make it seem as if she were dashing away from him, she didn't know why she was worrying, in another couple of minutes the drugs would kick in and he'd be asleep for the rest of the day.
Re: Motivation.
OOC Before you ask the owls and flowers come from Alan Garners The Owl Service. Just in case you havent read that one.
....................................................................................
Micheal waited expectantly for Paige to reply but she didn’t. Indeed she looked at him as if emerging from a dream. A dream in which he had not existed. Rather than answer his question she recoiled slightly, an awkward silence settling in between them, broken only by the sound of a bell ringing somewhere in the corridor.
"Err Sorry, I.. I have to go to class." she said finally with obvious relief. Michael watched her struggle with her books her injured arm making the whole process difficult, his eyes puzzled and disappointed as they followed her to the door of med lab.
As she reached it she hesitated looking for a moment as if she might turn back or at least say goodbye but in the end she did neither, just disappearing into the corridor, no doubt eager to join her friends and get on with her life.
*I cant really blame her* Michael thought with a faint pang of jealousy. *If I had the choice wouldn’t I rather be out having fun rather than sitting in a hospital listening to some stranger witter on.*
*I should just have kept my mouth shut and let her go after the poetry. Then at least I could have fooled myself with the thought maybe she’d come back and talk to me some more. Guess that’s not going to happen.*
If he was honest with himself no one had really come down to visit him as such since he had got there. It was normal he told himself. Hardly anyone even knew he existed.
Hank and Talia had both been kind, making him feel welcome but then they would have done as much for any patient. Ben had only come down looking for Connor though he had stayed and talked for a bit, helping to ease some of the feeling of strangeness and solitude that inevitably swept over Michael from time to time. *I wonder if he’ll come back?* Michael asked himself. *Probably not. Med lab doesn’t seem to be a very popular place despite the nice people who run it.*
Certainly Connor and Madison seem to avoid it. Hank had explained to him about Connors dislike of all things medical. Michael could totally understand. The months he himself had spent in Dr Brady’s hands had left him more than a little paranoid where laboratories were concerned but then again he had no choice. His physical condition left him with no other option but to lie still and try to mend even if at times the mere sight of a needle or a test-tube made him want to scream.
*And I have hardly been here any time at all* he reminded himself. It seemed strange. So much had happened. The rescue. The operation. The alien machines healing his wounded body. So many things to assimilate all in the space of a day. And then Rileys offer on top of everything else. *Here I am feeling sorry for myself because Im on my own, when in fact Ive been overwhelmed with visitors. I should think myself lucky.*
*Yes but no one talks to me* he though sadly. *And above all no one listens. Riley talked at me. It was obvious he was only doing what Connor had asked him to do. And it was clear he zoned out as soon as I started speaking. Just like Paige. Ok maybe Im the worlds most boring person but would it hurt so much just to pay a little attention to what Im saying?*
*It feels like Im still back in the lab* he realised suddenly, *shouting through the door or begging them to stop hurting me. No one listened there either. It was like I was just an object with no mind of its own. Something to be used and then put away in a corner till it was needed again.*
He could feel his mind slipping down into the unwanted memories as the painkillers effects made him drowsy. He fought against them not wanting to sleep, knowing the nightmares that lurked waiting for him on the other side if he gave in now with these thoughts in his mind. *Think of something else* he urged himself franticly *Anything but that.*
He had already gone down this road before, emerging from dreams that had left him sweating and shaken to find himself in a reality of tubes and strange devices all too like the horrors he had left behind. Each time the terror and disorientation had overwhelmed him. He didn’t want to go through it again.
*Poetry! Build a barrier of words against the memories.* But poetry had momentarily lost its magic, its power deserting him as Paige turned and left. The drugs were pulling him down, down into the darkness. *Dickens then. He can be my shield. Oliver and Fagin and Dodger…….*"But you can't dodge can you?" another voice seemed to say. "You can't dodge and you can't run and you can never, never get away."
*Stop it!* Michael cried silently. *It doesn’t have to be like this. It can be flowers not owls! It all depends on how you see the pattern.*
Books bled into each other, images mixed and confused as he sought for some way out but it was all in vain. In the end he slept and there was only the bed and the straps and the needles. And the faint sound of laughter.
Re: Motivation.
Her day was the usual busy blur it always was, full of classes, learning and viewing Max from afar with a hopeful expression. There was something different about him recently, she couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she had noticed that he didn't seem to be going around with at least one girl hanging off his arm. There was something odd about it, but it at least saved her the heart ache and there was a little part of her that hoped that he was finally realising that he did like her. Perhaps he was unsure of how to talk to her about it.
She'd felt twinges of guilt about the way she'd not listened to Michael as he was talking to her, it was obvious he was really excited about poetry and she should have listened to him rather than fall away into her own little world of Max. It wasn't like her to be acting like this, before Max had come along she'd not thought anything of men, and now she couldn't seem to get him out of her head. The guilt had driven her to go to the library and check out a large volume of Keats' stuff even though it was hard for her to carry it around with only one arm.
After a hurried meal which consisted of her picking at the food she was given, since the Max incidence she'd been loosing her appetite. She might not be pretty but she'd always had a nice figure, however now she was starting to look slightly pinched. Michael might think she'd gone off to spend time with her friends but if he'd heard the words Max had yelled at her he wouldn't be assuming the same thing. "You don't know enough people to give yourself the luxury of choosing to ignore them because you're so stupid," She didn't like hurting, but everything she thought about him it felt like a little part of her shrivelled up and died. Sometimes she wished she'd never met him, especially when he teased her.
The doors to the med bay slid open quietly, her eyes landing first on the huge bulk of Beast and then darting down towards Michael who looked like he was asleep. He still looked really ill, his face pale against the covers of the bed. Her hands pulled the book she'd taken out of the library slightly closer towards her chest. There was a moment where she wavered on the spot, wondering if Dr McCoy wanted to be disturbed by her. She was feeling lonely and would rather spend some time down here in the med bay than along in her room or the library. It was hard not to be attracted back to Michael, he'd sounded like he genuinely wanted to talk to her, and there was also the fact that she wasn't supposed to be talking to him. It didn't look like she'd get a chance to be able to though she realised since Beast was there and Michael was asleep still.
'Uh Doctor McCoy?' She nervously fidgeted from one foot to the other, her bad hand nervously picking at a loose corner of the book. 'Can I leave this for Michael?' She was worried as to how he might think it looked, he'd asked her to stay away from Michael and she'd disobeyed him. But she hadn't done any harm had she? They'd only talked for a minute. Her eyes flitted around the floor near Beast's feet, unwilling to look him in the eye; she wasn't very good at lying so she hoped he didn't ask her any awkward questions as to how she knew Michael liked Keats.
Re: Motivation.
Hank checked the boy's vitals signs again, satisfied that the machines were doing their job and that his recovery was well underway. He sighed as he thought of all that they could not mend, miraculous as they were. It was obvious Michael was going to be spending a lot of time in med lab and not much of it was going to be pleasant. Still it seemed he was not lacking in motivation.
Hank frowned slightly as he looked at the communicator lying beside the bed, its green motif clearly visible. He had been told earlier in the day of the offer which had been made to Michael and the boy’s ready acceptance of it.
At first he had been all too prepared to veto the idea. It was obvious that the young man was in no fit state to take place in any kind of training exercise, you didn’t have to be a doctor to see that. He had wondered if it was courage, stupidity or fear of being turned away if he refused that had forced Michael to say yes when Riley had offered him a place on the team
But then he had remembered the look he had seen in Michael’s eyes during the all to short conversations he had had with him. The pain had been obvious, a constant companion for which he could offer little solace, but there had also been concern for Connor and the others, intelligence, and a degree of self knowledge that was only found in those who had been pushed to the very edge of their limits and still come back.
Resilience, determination, an outright refusal to give in to adversity, these were the things he had recognised in the young man. They were the qualities he would need to get him through the long and gruelling process of physiotherapy that awaited him.
By refusing to let him at least try to cope with the demands of the next day’s mission Hank feared he might weaken that resolve, and that was something he wanted to avoid at all costs.* So all I can do is be on hand to monitor him when he uses his power, to ensure that all goes well* he thought resignedly.* And let us hope that that will be enough*.
Hank was intrigued by the implications of astral projection. He had gathered some idea of Michael’s abilities in his talks with Connor but he had to admit that under other circumstances he would have been looking forward to meeting this mysterious alter ego. *They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul* he reflected * but it seems that this astral form is at least the mirror of Michael’s aspirations. Robin Hood!* Hank smiled. *He could have chosen worse.*
The boy moaned slightly in his sleep, fear showing plainly on his face for a brief moment. Nightmares no doubt It was to be expected given all that he had been through.* He should be waking up soon* Hank thought.* Looks like he may be glad to do so, despite the awaiting pain.*
*We will have to find some other way to deal with that,* Hank mused .*Those painkillers is effective but they are no long term solution. He can’t function normally while he’s taking them. He certainly couldn’t go on a mission.*
It was a dilemma that Hank as a doctor had come across before but that didn’t make him like it any better. Addiction of any form was to be avoided and yet it was clear that even with the best will in the world Michael had no hope of living anything like a normal life without medical assistance.* A fact he must know all too well. It is something we must discuss but not tonight. Everyone else seems to be pushing him to be well right now. The least I can do is give him one evening to recover at his own pace.*
So saying Hank left the boys bedside making his way back to the outer office and seating himself behind his desk as he took the time to deal with the everyday administrative work that so easily built up in med lab .
He had just started on his routine updating of the students medical records when the door opened and Paige made her hesitant way into the lab. Hank smiled as she approached, genuinely pleased to see her, his eyes drawn to the weighty volume she carried so awkwardly."Uh Dr McCoy" The blue furred mutant sighed *It seems she will never learn to call me Hank no matter how much time we spend together* he thought wryly. *Still at least she comes down of her own accord now That must be seen as progress.*
"Can I leave this for Michael?" she asked shyly Beast blinked in surprise *Now that is something I did not expect.* His eyes behind the wire rimmed glasses focused on the book *Keats! An unusual choice. How can she know that our young friend is an afficiado of good literature?*
The thought brought another grin to hanks face. *I have not had many patients whose first request has been a volume of Dickens.* Still he had been unaware that Paige had talked to Michael. In fact…….Hank groaned *How could I have been so remiss? I have been so caught up in Connors plight that I totally forgot to contact Paige and let her know that Michael poses no threat, contrary to what I had previously feared Which is fortunate for her since it seems my warning was not enough to overcome her curiosity.*
"Certainly my dear." he replied "Indeed if you wish to give it to him yourself you may do so He is just waking up if I am not mistaken."
He saw the look of confusion in the girls eyes and hurried to continue. "You must forgive my forgetfulness. I should have contacted you sooner concerning Michael. It seems that he was wounded by accident rather than intent Indeed he was helping Connor and Madison back at the market when the incident occurred. I therefore have no objections whatsoever to you frequenting him I’m sure a friendly face would do him the world of good. He must be feeling rather lost I imagine."
The fever burned relentlessly in his veins, his skin taught and painful, the headache building, building till he cried out, fearing his head would explode under the pressure. Through the mists of suffering he saw Brady meticulously noting his every reaction, a faint look of concern crossing the doctors face as the disease caught hold of Michael and refused to let him go .
*Please make him stop* Michael whimpered soundlessly. *I can’t take any more. Can’t he see that? He must see that!* Another wave of pain tore through him, spilling the tears from his eyes, his hair already plastered to his face as his temperature rose and rose.
Meningitis. He had heard Brady talking about its possible consequences to his brother George. Blindness, brain damage, death if things really went badly and his mutant blood failed to react in time. They discussed it so calmly, their only concern being that their lucrative little scheme might fall through. No pity. No compassion.
*Maybe Ill die this time* Michael thought, *at least then it will be over.* But it never was. Relentlessly the dream forced him to relive the experience, each sensation as vivid and agonising as it had been in reality, the pain, the helplessness the overwhelming despair.
In med lab his body writhed, in the alien bed as his mind thrashed against the bonds of the dream, struggling to break free from a world of needles and disease and needless cruelty.
Somewhere there were voices, his name on their lips. He tried to wrap his conciousness around them, to use them as a beacon to lead him out of this darkness that held him captive. Desperately he dragged himself inch by painful inch back to reality, forcing himself to awaken, breaking the dreams hold upon him by sheer willpower.
Suddenly his eyes fluttered open, taking in the tubes, the lab, the inescapable fact that nothing had changed That he was still in hell. A cry escaped him as he tried to force himself to sit up almost ripping the machines connections from his flesh as the panic took hold of him.
Then his eyes focused on the huge blue being looking at him with worried eyes and the girl, her arm in a sling, a large book clasped to her chest. Hank. Paige. His mind provided the names, relief so palpable that it forced a sob from him before he managed to choke it back.
Safe! He was safe at last. At least until the next time he slept!
By the by Sidhe is the gaelic word for fairies.
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