Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
"It's nothing serious, it really is stupid.. you're probably going to laugh at it." He'd called it condition and that in her minds eye was something that was rather more than serious. Her eyes looking up at him rather expectantly, waiting for him to tell her what was wrong with him. It was a bit of a worry having him tell her something, what if it was that he had a heart condition, it might not be serious now but give it a few years. "I.." She watched him as he moved closer to her, still looking unsure of what he was about to say to her. His hands reached out, his fingers brushing over hers and making her skin tingle as he removed the phone from her hands.
"I have this thing call Photo Sensitivity Syndrome," She'd never heard of it nor did she have any clue as to what it might be. If she'd sat down and thought about it she should have realised that it had the word photo in it, like photosynthesis which was something to do with light. He's easily pulled open the back of Angie's phone, he'd done it so quickly though that she hadn't really seen what he was doing. "..which means.. I, um.. I don't deal well with flashing lights." She didn't connect it with flashing Christmas lights... was he saying he didn't like strove lighting ... because it seemed like this was a funny time to bring something like that up in conversation. "The Meds the Initiative gave me kept it treated, but then I went off the Meds and I didn't remember until recently but there wasn't ever a need to go and get the medication since I dealt alright for the past few months without it."
"I can take out demons and vampires, ghouls and ghosts and all sorts of horrible creatures and then someone turns on a stupid Christmas tree and I'm out cold or in some semi-coma state." She could see the funny side but she didn't laugh, afterall she'd been unable to get the back off a phone, he was pressing buttons on her phone but she couldn't see what he was doing.
"If I don't go into Town now and get the medication I might have a problem when they start turning on the lights, they look all excited and I'm going to ruin everything for them." Cat's body instantly moved off the bed, getting to her feet and looking over at him with an expectant look upon her face.
'Well why don't we go into town and get them...' The fact that it was quite late and the doctors was probably shut didn't seem to cross her mind. But the casualty department at the small hospital would still be open, there was never a time when it was shut.
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
There wasn't a much better way for Catherine to respond to him, if she had tried to make it sound like it was some crippling disease he would have been very upset, just as if she had agreed that it was a really stupid thing. The fact she got up off the bed so quickly and without commenting on it made him a little nervous at first though that she'd start telling him off again.
'Well why don't we go into town and get them...' She wanted to go with him? He had been terribly worried about going on his own, and as much as he wanted to ask someone else to come with him, his parents where busy and he hadn't thought Catherine would want to go into town with him. The news lightened him up greatly, grinning a little as he got to his feet, turning the phone about show her the security password screen.
"I'll put my shoes on then, here, type in your password, I've got the recharger and everything packed, but the batter will last a week since I only recharged it yesterday." Giving her the phone, Riley moved around her and hurried into his room, he got new shoes as well while he was out with his parents, he has now white sneakers, black sneakers and black boots as well as his light brown leather boots that he had from back when he was at the school before Catherine arrived. He pulled on his black runners and tied up the laces quickly, the phone might also have the bonus effect of keeping her busy when she got bored since it also had a few different games on it.
Getting up from where he was knelling on the floor, Riley ran down the stairs, he didn't stay in the family room even though his father had half turned to look at Riley as his feet thudded down the steps. They where testing to see which rhythm they wanted the lights to blink, and they glowed brightly since the curtains covered the windows and it was already starting to get darker outside.
"Mum, Catherine and I really need to go into Town," The food smelled wonderful and Riley couldn't help but get distracted, and there where snippets of left overs from their lunch that was left out on the table awaiting Cat and Riley to go down and eat.
"Now? Can't it wait till tomorrow, the family will be arriving soon," It really did seem like an awful time to think of his condition but he had only remembered when he realized they where putting up lights everywhere. He looked towards his mum, forcefully dragging his eyes from the door on the table and trying to ignore the wonderful smells drifting through the kitchen.
"It's really important.. I know it's a terrible time but I forgot about it and I have to go into town," Being the mother she was, Martha had this suspicious look of worry creeping over her face since he wasn't saying exactly why he was heading into town so urgently. "We'll be back as soon as possible, and I'm sorry I ruined your dinner last night but tonight I'll behave myself, I promise." His hands where picking up the sandwiches that had been neatly wrapped in glade wrap and as he waited for Catherine to make her way down stairs and into the kitchen as well, he quickly nibbled at some of the cubes of cheese that was in the serve of salad that was left on one of the plates for him. He showed Catherine the sandwiches in his hands to show he got them some food while he quickly picked up some more cubes of cheese before darting off towards the door and grabbing his keys from the small table.
"Be careful you two!" There was another sign of worry in her tone as she watched Riley pick up his keys, after all, she thought he had died in a Car crash and it was hard seeing him get back into a car after living the past few years thinking that was what had happened. Riley glanced back as he unlocked the car by pushing one of the buttons on his key chain locking remote. He was going to have trouble driving with Catherine but he had to learn to do it at some point if he was going to start driving her and their daughter about.
Opening the silver door of his car, Riley climbed into his car and started the engine, he kept the door open while he placed the sandwiches down on the cup tray. Pulling his legs into the car he began to close the door only to see both his parents standing at the door, sheesh, he was going into Town, he wasn't leaving the state. But it felt nice anyway, even if their worry over him was making him even more nervous then he had already been about driving with Catherine in the car. He couldn't ask her to drive, that's just wrong, he was going to deal with all his silly inhibitions otherwise he was going to have a hard time with his kid and with her when they needed him.
"I'm starving," Warm air was already starting to flow through the car, though it was hard to feel just yet, one his hands grabbed up one of the four sandwiches and offered it to her, taking up another one for himself and ripping open the clear wrap that was keeping it nice and fresh. There was a faintly creamy sauce that Riley couldn't tell if it was some kind of cheesy spread or mayonnaise or some mixed concoction of both. But he liked it anyway, it had thinly sliced tomato with strips of chicken and a tiny amount of shredded lettuce that you could barely taste. It was basically just the left overs of last nights dinner all thrown together, two of the sandwiches where like that and the other two where with beef instead of chicken.
"I feel like I haven't eaten in days," Riley added hungrily after he finished the second half, he really wanted to get started on the other one but he should start driving so at least they didn't come back too late. But knowing Riley it was completely possible for him to neglect eating for long periods of time. The awful habit he had of easily forgetting his meals came mostly from the fact he was far too used to being called for when he was meant to eat, although his mother often did it now, with all the Christmas celebrations they had been in Town often and Riley would normally only have breakfast and dinner unless he wasn't in the mood to eat at all.
Settling himself down, readying to prepare for the long drive, Riley seemed to go through his usual routine of hesitantly opening his door and shutting it again just to make sure he wasn't confined inside. Then he placed on his seat belt and glanced over to make sure Catherine was belted in as well, hinting that he wasn't leaving unless all his guidelines where met, and one of them was to wear seat belts. Turning on his front lights on low beam, he then placed his hands on the wheel and took in a deep breath.
"They're right," Riley sulked a little while referring to Graham and Forrest, though not making it clear for Catherine who he was talking about "I'm high maintenance.." He was mumbling more to himself, groaning a little since he didn't like all these troublesome little problems he seemed to cause others... and sometimes they where not so little problems, if Catherine had never met him she would have never gotten mixed up in the Initiative. Riley grinned playfully as he leaned over towards Catherine, almost lying on his side, his elbow resting on the storage unite between their seats. He turned his head and looked up at her as he spoke.
"Do you like maintaining me Catherine?" He wouldn't handle this newfound freedom in the new world he had been sheltered from for so long if he didn't have Catherine looking after him. He sat up a little more and reached over to let his fingers glide lightly through her hair and curl some of it behind her ear. "You know I'll always love looking after you as well," The was he so easily was able to turn from playful to affectionate might hint to how much he's missed her company. Riley was the type of guy that handle's his pain by not really handling it, or pretending it wasn't real and didn't happen. It wasn't very healthy for him it did help him cope with Catherine's temper, he may love her but she sometimes seems to say things solely for the purpose of hurting him, even if sometimes she doesn't realize how hurtful the things she says to him can be.
There's also the fact he's never been yelled at before aside from when he fails a mission and Halliwell screams at his team for doing a pathetic job, even if there was no chance they could of won and they had done their utmost best. So because it was so rare for him to get yelled at it made it hurt even more for him, and he didn't have many people he could turn to for help, Dawn would just hold it against Catherine and Angela wasn't really the cuddle up to type of person, Lisa was the mothering type but he hadn't really gotten the chance to see her alone for a while now.
"Can we take photo's tonight?" He sounded all excited now as he started to drive, straightening his posture and focusing on what he was doing "I've been wanting to take photo's for so long, and we haven't had a chance yet," His hand fiddled with the radio for a moment, he couldn't play his CD because it was another one of those nature CD's he had gotten. Riley had never gone down to the beach, sure he's seen one from the distance and he went once with Connor, Arisa and Arlen, but he and Connor where inside the cafe while the other two where off swimming. He wasn't able to go everywhere but he wanted to hear all the different sounds of the different areas. It wasn't something he could listen to a lot, but it was nice when he pulled over and was eating or drinking or just trying to rest a little.
"Besides, I think Angela might like to see some nice photo's, she had been asking for some, I tried calling her but she's sleeping most of the time, Dawn says she's tried to leave the Med Lab twice now but her leg hurts too much so she has to go back." It had completely slipped Riley's mind that since they hadn't been talking the past few days, and Angie didn't have her phone with her, and Dawn wasn't on talking terms either with the agility mutant, that Catherine wouldn't know about her broken leg. She had hurt herself during a training session, not only did she break her leg but she did some serious damage to her knee which had resulted in an operation which was the reason she hadn't been calling Catherine every day to see how she was going.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm"I'll put my shoes on then, here, type in your password, I've got the recharger and everything packed, but the batter will last a week since I only recharged it yesterday." He seemed suddenly to be all happy, making her glad she suggested going and getting him his medication. She looked down at the phone thats he had in her hand, wondering for a moment what to put in as her password. Rather hesitantly she typed "Cat" into the phone, it was such an easy answer that people would most likely not try typing that in if they wanted to gain access to what was stored on the phone. She pressed a larger button in the hope that it would do something since Riley had dissapeared off again leaving her with the phone held in her hand. The screen went black for a moment and she wondered if she'd done something wrong but the screen came up with Riley's picture on it. She was a little suprised yet happy to see her boyfreinds face on the screen, she wondered if there were more pictures of him on the phone.
She heard him clomp rather loudly down the stairs, glad he seemed happy again, she knew he'd been moping around as much as she had the past few days. She didn't like it when they argued but sometimes she found it really hard to stop herself from saying hurtful things to him. It was a bad habit of hers and she'd have to learn to think before she spoke so she could stop hurting him like she was.
Getting to her feet she slipped the phone into her back pocket and hurried out of her room, shutting the door behind her. "It's really important.. I know it's a terrible time but I forgot about it and I have to go into town," She could hear Riley's voice drifting out from the kitchen as he spoke to his mum. Jonathan looked over at her as she descended the stairs and she gave him a small rather nervous smile, her eyes wandering over to Emily who looked really excited about Christmas. She could see the tree they had and underneath it brightly wrapped presents. She hurriedly retrated away from the pair who were messing around with the switch that controlled how fast the lights twinkled. "We'll be back as soon as possible, and I'm sorry I ruined your dinner last night but tonight I'll behave myself, I promise." She hovered by the door for a few moments before she stepped into the room, glancing quikcly at Martha before looking at the sandwiches that Riley had held out towards her. She nervously tucked her hair behind her ears and looking at Martha again before she followed Riley out of the house and out into the biting cold night.
Gratefully she slipped into the car, though it was still cold inside it was warmer than the surrounding air. She watched as Riley ripped open one of the sandwiches, her hand reaching over for one of the other ones. She felt fammished since she hadn't eaten all day since they'd fallen asleep together. She saw him looking over at her seatbelt with a meaningful look. With a slight sigh she reached over and pulled the seatbelt down into place.
"I'm starving," In truth Cat would rather have driven, she found driving enjoyable, especially in large cities when you have to keep your wits about you since there were so many drivers. "I feel like I haven't eaten in days," She knew how he felt, her body was strongly protesting at the lack of food she'd been intaking especially because of the baby she was creating inside her.
"They're right," Who was right she wondered as she finnished off the beef sandwich, her eyes looking over at the other two, really wanting to eat another, she felt like she could eat ten sandwiches let alone two. Maybe there would be somewhere in town that they could grab something else to eat. "I'm high maintenance.." She felt rather nervous as he leaned over towards her, one of his hands running though her hair. She felt her cheeks blush slightly as he talked to her. "Do you like maintaining me Catherine?"
There was a small smile followed by a nod, she wasn't sure why he was saying he was high matinance, he never asked for much off her, just a little affection and to share her bed with her at night, both of which she gave him willingly. She'd never thought of him like that before, he was never much hastle, he was always so easy to get along with in her eyes. There was a sudden rush of jelousy that ran through her at the thought of Riley being with anyone else, followed by a surge of affection and security at the fact that he was her's.
"Can we take photo's tonight?" She felt the car moving off, her eyes moving to look ahead of her at the darkening world. "I've been wanting to take photo's for so long, and we haven't had a chance yet," As he spoke he was messing around with the controlls for the radio. Cat was glad he seemed to want some sort of background noise, they hadn't spoken much recently and long silences could be akward if they ran out of things to say to one another.
'Did you get a camera in the end?' She remembered him talking about getting one in Washington the night he'd found her again. She hadn't really realised till she saw him again just how much she'd missed him, it hadn't been that bad for her though because he didn't belong in her world in Washington. Poor Riley though was left wondering every day if she was going to come back to him or not.
"Besides, I think Angela might like to see some nice photo's, she had been asking for some, I tried calling her but she's sleeping most of the time, Dawn says she's tried to leave the Med Lab twice now but her leg hurts too much so she has to go back."
'Her leg? Whats wrong with her?' There was concern in Cat's voice but that was understandable, at the school apart from Riley and Jess, who hadn't been around much latley Angie was her only freind. Everyone else seemed to content to whisper about her being her back or so it felt to her, it made her feel really unpopular in the school when they did that, like she was a freak amongst mutants.
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
It was very hard to drive, normally he found it all right, though cars weren't his favorite mode of transportation, and at least he had a nice and comfortable car. Though his parents seemed awfully amazed by the things he owned, it only made him even more upset that they knew he had enough money yet they wouldn't accept any help from him, as if he was some sort of stranger they didn't want to be indebted to.
Riley was awfully distracted with his driving, which caused him to take a few moments before registered her question, he was getting a little more nervous while leaving the safety of his home, though he was still making his way down their long dirt road drive way. There was also the fact not only hasn't he ever driven with someone else, Catherine had their baby and on top of that the ground was very cold, and it had snowed lightly the past few nights so it gave even the dirt track an slippery grip. Even if they did crash the car was armour plated so they'd not get crushed or anything in the wreckage and it would take a great force to shatter the bulletproof glass. But that hardly comforted Riley at the moment, no matter how much he spent on the car and its upgrades while in Washington it would never feel safe for him.
"Um, yeah.." It didn't look like he had paid attention to what she had said since that was hardly an adequate answer to what she had asked, but he studied the road for a moment before he continued "She got exhausted in one of Wolverine's training exercises, he tends to push them really hard and she hadn't been feeling well," Fair enough the conditions on the road weren't the best but Riley seemed to be taking it overly cautious while he kept checking his mirrors and driving carefully as if he expected something to just leap out at him from nowhere.
"She lost her grip while going across a rope and fell, it's only a short distance between the platforms so there's no safety net and no one tried to use their powers since they all knew she could just turn into air or something, but she was too tired and fell to the ground, broke her leg and fractured her arm, hurt her knee pretty badly but she's in the medical room, she's been sleeping most of the past few days which is why she hasn't been calling us, but Dawn sent me a few messages the other day." He could feel the car didn't have the best grip on the ground, normally his partner or an elected Initiative jeep driver would drive so he never had to worry about weather conditions or anything, it didn't occur to him that it the cold would make it harder to drive.. and thus more dangerous.
"Angela doesn't cope too well around this time of year, and she's been here for years, you'd think Connor's dad would learn to give her some slack," They where coming to the end of the drive way that connected with the road that lead into Town, the car slowed, though it didn't stop instantly, which was normal where the ground was coated thinly with remaining ice from the snow that had fell on them. But it didn't do Riley well, and the fact it was also getting dark was making it even worse for him. Even though there was no cars coming at the intersection and Riley could just turn into the road, he didn't seem ready to move the car yet.
"Her mother didn't take well to Angela being a mutant, she got pretty scared and paranoid after a while and.. when she tried to hurt Angie, Angela accidentally used her powers and the bullet deflected off her and her mother died, it was about this time of year four years ago, and even though it wasn't her fault I'm sure she still blames herself." Riley's eyes drifted over towards Catherine's stomach, he started babbling about her and her mother because he couldn't imagine how someone could try and hurt their own child, and now that he was about to have a daughter in a few months it was even more unbelievable.
"I'm going to get rid of all my equipment, everything, I don't want her to have any of that stuff in her life," He didn't want his child to grow up with the same exposure to weaponry as he had been forced to, he wanted to give her a normal life.. or as normal as possible no matter what she's like or where they live or what's happening between him and Catherine. He returned to staring at the road, it was obvious there was something wrong since he looked apprehensive about continuing on.
"..Maybe this is a bad idea, we should go back, I can just eat and then head up to my room while they move off onto the family room with all the lights, I don't mind," He would be very upset, as would the rest of his family, if he went up into his room while everyone else was enjoying themselves down stairs. He hasn't had a proper Christmas for years and he was looking forward to this event all year and now even more so since he was with his family instead of just staying at the school. "Because this isn't safe, I've never driven in the dark, or with a passenger, or in these cold conditions or anything, and it's making me nervous and that isn't helping either." With Catherine's being pregnant it made him want to avoid any and all dangerous situations and this ranked as a very dangerous thing as far as he cared. The thought of her driving didn't really occur to him, she only drove once but he had been suffering his withdrawls so it was all pretty vague for him, all he really remembered was her singing and some blue girl and he couldn't really even remember Spike though he knew the vampire was there as well.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
He seemed to be moving the car infuriatingly slowly, the vichle creeping slowly down the drive, it would take them hours to get back from town at this rate and all the guests would have gone. That wasn't something she'd mind too much but she knew that Martha and Jonathan would be upset if Riley didn't get to meet the freinds and family that were coming up. One of her hands reached down to stroke over the smooth fabric of her jeans, her face thoughtful as she looked out into the gathering blackness that seemed to press around the car.
"Um, yeah.." He seemed really vague, his eyes fixed on the road ahead and she wondered for a moment if he'd actually regestered what she'd just asked him. He carefully drove the car a little further down the dirt track that made up part of the Finn's farm. "She got exhausted in one of Wolverine's training exercises, he tends to push them really hard and she hadn't been feeling well," She was on a team but she'd never had the chance to train, she didn't think she'd even met Wolverine, she's seen him from a distance though.
"She lost her grip while going across a rope and fell, it's only a short distance between the platforms so there's no safety net and no one tried to use their powers since they all knew she could just turn into air or something, but she was too tired and fell to the ground, broke her leg and fractured her arm, hurt her knee pretty badly but she's in the medical room, she's been sleeping most of the past few days which is why she hasn't been calling us, but Dawn sent me a few messages the other day." That made Cat feel a little guilty since she hadn't made any effort to call Angela. After last time when Angie didn't seem to have the time to talk to her she'd been feeling a little grumpy towards her freind and now she felt bad for having though Angie wasn't being a good friend when she'd been lying in a medical bay the whole time. Cat didn't seem to notice the fact that the road was a bit slippery, it got like this quite often in Washington when it would snow and cars would drive over it, compacting it untill the next rain turned it into black ice. In major cities there were car crashes every day and people died in them, as far as Cat was concerned though you couldn't live each day thinking what if...
"Angela doesn't cope too well around this time of year, and she's been here for years, you'd think Connor's dad would learn to give her some slack," Cat hadn't heard of Angela's past before and how her mum had begun to abuse her. She'd never been exposed to anything like that before, she'd come from a normal everyday family. Her parents had used to row before and of course they'd shouted at her but they'd never hit each other or struck her. She watched him slow the car right down as they reached the end of the driveway.. was he going to drive this slowly all the way to town?
"Her mother didn't take well to Angela being a mutant, she got pretty scared and paranoid after a while and.. when she tried to hurt Angie, Angela accidentally used her powers and the bullet deflected off her and her mother died, it was about this time of year four years ago, and even though it wasn't her fault I'm sure she still blames herself." Angie had killed her mother? well not on purpose of course but still.... she wondered how Angela managed to look as happy as she did most of the time. Cat had always felt as if she was to blame for her own parents deaths but it wasn't as if she'd broken the track on the rollercoaster. No one could have expected that, it was just a piece of track that had slipped slightly out of place that didn't allow the carriges to run properly.
"I'm going to get rid of all my equipment, everything, I don't want her to have any of that stuff in her life," It took a moment to regester who he was reffering too, but the fact he was looking at her stomach seemed to indicate it was his child that she was carrying. She followed his gaze and looked down at her stomach.
"..Maybe this is a bad idea, we should go back, I can just eat and then head up to my room while they move off onto the family room with all the lights, I don't mind," She looked over at him rather suprised by his sudden declaration, didn't he want to spend time with his family? If she'd just suddenly got her parents back she'd have wanted to spend every waking moment she had with them. She knew deep down inside she was ruining this whole coming home to see his parents. There was a sudden descision that she had to really try tonight to get on with everyone, she wanted him to have a good christmas.
"Because this isn't safe, I've never driven in the dark, or with a passenger, or in these cold conditions or anything, and it's making me nervous and that isn't helping either." But she didn't want him to miss out on spending time with his family. Her eyes moved to look out of the front of the car again, looking away into the distance where the light was receeding quickly.
'Can't you just ask them if they can switch the lights off.. or maybe they have some that don't blink?' There was a short pause as her eyes looked away up the road in the direction of town. 'Did you want me to drive? I don't mind if it's icy.' Catherine glanced back at him as she waited for his descision. She knew it was a long way into town and they probably wouldn't be back before nine o'clock and all the guests would be there by then but she didn't mind driving him into town if he really needed to go.
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm'Can't you just ask them if they can switch the lights off.. or maybe they have some that don't blink?' Slowly Riley's hands dropped away from the wheel as he stared down at his lap looked rather guilty at that thought. 'Did you want me to drive? I don't mind if it's icy.' It never really occured to him that she could drive, she didn't really own a car, and he has only driven a few times and he owned one. Of course he also wasn't used to the normal lifestyle people had and that they could just as easily go and get a license with a driving instractor and still not own a car.
"They went shopping the other day, Emily's been wanting lights for so long and they never had the money so they kept having to put it off. But they got the lights this year because I'm here, and they wanted to impress you with some new decorations." He could hardly tell them after they started looking all happy and proud with all their new things that he got sick from the flashing lights, and Emily had made it rather clear she had wanted the coloured fairy lights mainly because of how they look so pretty when they flash.
Leaning over, Riley gave her a quick kiss on her shoulder, he really wanted to get the hang of driving, Washington was easy in the sense that his work wasn't too far away and the traffic barely moved. But he still was paranoid by all the terrible craches he would pass, only he seemed to remember them more clearly when he was suddenly responsible for other passangers. He glanced back down the long driveway as he thought over her offer, he went back and asked them to turn off the lights and didn't give them a reason they'd be really disappointed thinking he didn't like them or maybe they'd think he was trying to be difficult. And he didn't want to tell them what was wrong with him, he had taken up a rather distant position with them regarding anything to do with his personal history or and even information on his life, even the one that wasn't a big secret seemed to be hard to talk with them about.
"You really are a wonderful person Catherine," Looking back at her he smiled a little while he spoke, sometimes Dawn and some others made it sound as if she wasn't as special as he tried to convince them she was. But they didn't know her like he did, they hadn't seen what she is willing to do for others, and what she's done for him. Maybe she wasn't always as perfect as she could be, and she did have her flaws, but everyone had their flaws, and he wasn't going to let anything like a flaw blind him to her strengths and better half.
"Are you sure you don't mind driving? It's just since I was 13 I really hate being in cars." She had ask about going home first, if she didn't want to drive he would have to cope with figuring out a way of avoiding the lights. Maybe there was also a part of him that didn't want to go get a new form of drugs that he's gotta be on. Although Riley was the kind of guy that would rather take medication and hate it then have something worse happen. Though sometimes he tends to try and convince himself that it would be ok because he had Catherine around and she hasn't let too many bad things happen to him, she definitely doesn't let anyone else hurt him, even if she does have a small habit of saying hurtful things herself.
He couldn't remember if he had told her of the last day he saw his parents or not, most of his time back with her at the Initiative was so hazy and vague and he was certain he did babble about something to do with his parents at least once. Catherine hasn't really talked much about her parents and she never asked him about his life and he knew how hard it was for her to talk about herself. He half worried if he started talking with her about her life or parents she might do what Forrest did and just start getting annoyed with him prying into their lives and probably trying to analyze it with his Phsycology Major as if he was some self appointed shrink.. Riley never tried to do that, but no one really liked talking about their lives in his group and Forrest tended to shove him away when they did get near any personal topics by snapping back with some hurtful comment about him not being a shrink and to stop treding where he's not welcomed, Riley was the same, although he was more evasive and polite with his avoiding the topics.
Hopping out of the car, he hurried over to her side and quickly opened the door for Catherine, his warm breath seen faintly in the cold air as he held the door open and looked down at her, not really appearing overly bothered by the cold. There was another part of him that was also very keen on spending these precious few hours with Catherine alone, feeling guilty over the thought yet still looking forward to being around her. He smiled again when she hopped out, again leaning down as she stood up to give her another quick kiss but this time his lips touched lightly against her forehead before he slipped around her and into the driver's passanger seat.
Any contact he could steal for a moment was enough to make him feel a little bit better, even though he did have this longing to just hold her for the entire night, but he wanted to hold her in front of everyone, show them that she loved him and he loved her, even if they did have a bit of a rocky moment in their relationship, it would pass. Riley didn't realize as he watched Catherine make her way to the driver's side while he put on his seatbelt, that things where going to get a whole lot worse before they even started to mildly and slowly improve between them.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm"You really are a wonderful person Catherine," There was a slight blush to her cheeks, it wasn't very often she got compliments and it had been a while since anyone had said anything really nice to her. They were all too busy sticking their nose in her life and wondering what was going on. She smiled back at him as he looked over at her, she could still feel his lips on her shoulder where he'd kissed her. "Are you sure you don't mind driving? It's just since I was 13 I really hate being in cars." She knew his parents thought he was dead but she'd never been told exactly what had happened to make them believe that... well she knew it was something the Initiative had done. It wasn't a topic she really wanted to bring up though, she'd be upset if he suddenly started asking her why her parents had died and because it was a touchy subject for her she tiptoed around it with him too.
'No. I wouldn't have offered if I'd minded.' There was another smile on her lips as she watched Riley get out of the car, her hands reaching for the buckle of her seat belt and unclipping it. As Riley opened the door she got out and looked back up the dark track, his parents had gone inside though and there were lights that shone out into the blackness. She didn't like the way the dark seemed to press in about you. There could be anything out there and you wouldn't know until it pounced on you. She shivered slightly and hurried around to clambour in the drivers seat. Busying herself for a few moments in adjusting the seat and the headrest since Riley was much taller than her. She started the key and pressing her foot on the clutch she slowly relived the pressure until she found the car's bite point. She placed her other foot down on the accelerator and the car started moving, she came off the clutch altogether as she steered the car out of the driveway and onto the road, changing gears as they picked up speed. Cat seemed totally happy to drive along at a relativley high speed even with the slippery surface the ice brought about.
'Do we need to find a hospital or will their be a chemists open?' She flipped the headlights up a notch since even as they drove it was becoming darker. She hoped they wouldn't get back too late since his parents guests would be driving out to the farm soon. She glanced over at him before looking back at the road in front of her, the road streatched on forever seemingly though without turning left or right. Looking in her mirror she could see the lights of the Finn farm shinning out though the dark though they were quickly getting smaller.
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
In truth he wasn't sure, he didn't know Huxley very well still, he couldn't even remember where a chemist was, though Riley wasn't really paying attention to her voice right now, his eyes staring at the distant lights of his home slowly disappearing.
"Well.. since I think I'm still registered as deceased, I think we should go to the hospital, there will probably only be one or two people there, but they at least know I'm Riley Finn." He shifted about a little, since they returned from the Initiative he had been told, mostly by Angela, about what had happened to turn him into Marc again. But he and Catherine hadn't really talked about it, sure she said they slept together, and Riley was having horrible nightmares that he wasn't sure if it was a memory or if it was just something his mind was twisting around. Because it could just be his anger towards Jon raping Catherine, and his anger towards Marc sleeping with Catherine, and slowly the two thoughts entangled and now there's Marc raping Catherine.. It is a horrible dream, especially since it feels so real, his eyes glanced over towards Catherine for a moment.
If he had done something so terrible as that though, she wouldn't want to be anywhere near him again, besides, she would tell him - Marc and I slept together is completely different to Marc raped me.
"Professor Xavier and Mrs. Summers came up to me, they wanted me to talk with a counciller.. they've been asking me since late July to talk with someone." Riley's fingers fiddled a little with the fabric of his jeans as he spoke, he was a little nerves at the way she was driving so bravly on the dangerous road. "You know, I've never been able to talk to people other then Graham and occasional Forrest," Dropping his brighter gaze down towards his hands, Riley mumbled a little as he spoke, his quiet quiet and almost shy since he was worried she might get upset.
"When I talk with you, sometimes everything I say or do comes out wrong, sometimes I don't even know what I did wrong so I can't learn from my mistakes." Slowly his eyes focused on the dark scenery that passed them by outside his window "Sometimes you say things.." His voice trailed of silently for a moment before he was able to continue on with what he was saying "...but.. but you don't explain them properly.. and I get scared, if I don't fix whatever's wrong with me then you'll go away again and I'll be left on my own without you."
"That's why I act strange when you leave and when we argue, I don't need a shrink to tell me I'm terrified of losing you. I don't know how to handle the thought of not sharing my life with you," Riley looked back towards Catherine as he slouched a little further down in his seat "Because you're so amazing, when you're around you fill me with so much life and I feel so strong and like I can do anything." His eyes lit up a little as he talked about how she could make him feel, but the light died as he went on to explain how it felt when she was gone "But then when you're gone, it's like you take all that with you, I'm so empty and weak, nothing seems worth doing and I always go over things, wondering how I could have done anything better or differently." The tips of his fingers lightly ran over his chest, gently rubbing the fabric against his skin, his eyes looking out ahead to the road.
"I promise I won't get mad, if I'm doing something you don't like, or not doing something you want me to do, just tell me and I'll fix it." He glanced over at her, but dropped his eyes back towards his lap once more "I don't want to ever feel empty like I did while you where in Washington.. and while you where in your room." It hadn't only been hard on Riley to have Catherine lock herself away, because he had been so hurt and upset, he had been making everyone else suffer along with him, even though he wasn't trying to argue with them. But they where having a family, they were meant to be getting on much better then they were, they were meant to be much better friends, and it was killing him that they had drifted apart so much because of things that were out of their control.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
Cat nodded her head as he talked to her about going to the hospital, it seemed to make sense to her. She wondered how you went about declaring yourself undead, he'd have to do that soon wouldn't he? Again she found herself wondering exactly who was coming around for dinner that night... the food Riley's mum had been cooking had smelled so apetising to her, especially since she was so hungry. She eyed the sandwiches on the dashboard but realised that she couldn't unwrap one while driving so instead she settled her eyes back on the road in front of her.
"Professor Xavier and Mrs. Summers came up to me, they wanted me to talk with a counciller.. they've been asking me since late July to talk with someone." Cat didn't like councillers after he'd been forced to reluctantly go to one for years. She hated the idea of telling someone you didn't even know all your darkest feelings, so the idea of Riley going to one was seen as a bad idea in her mind. People like that had no place in their life, she didn't need psychotherapy and he didn't either, they had each other and then was better than any phychatrist in her minds eye.
"When I talk with you, sometimes everything I say or do comes out wrong, sometimes I don't even know what I did wrong so I can't learn from my mistakes." She kept her eyes trained ahead on the road, she knew most of the time it was her own quick tounge that hurt him, not the fact that he'd done or said anything wrong. When she got upset she just lashed out at him without thinking. "Sometimes you say things.." Catherine shut her eyes for a moment, as if she were willing away the words that he was speaking. She knew she was horrible to him sometimes but she never intentionaly set out to hurt him, it kind of just happened. "...but.. but you don't explain them properly.. and I get scared, if I don't fix whatever's wrong with me then you'll go away again and I'll be left on my own without you." Didn't he understand that she wasn't going to do that again? She hadn't really meant to do it the first time, she'd just been so upset after what had happened in the nightclub. She'd been running away from things her whole life so it was almost second nature to do it. If things got too bad she just seemed to turn her back on them and pretend they wern't happening.
"That's why I act strange when you leave and when we argue, I don't need a shrink to tell me I'm terrified of losing you. I don't know how to handle the thought of not sharing my life with you," She was very quiet, one of her hands rubbing over the leather of the steering wheel, the only indication that she was uncomfortable with the topic of conversation he'd turned onto. "Because you're so amazing, when you're around you fill me with so much life and I feel so strong and like I can do anything." Another shy little smile crept across her lips, her face turning as she looked over at him. It was nice to have someone feel like that when she was around, it still felt odd though not to have someone always finding her faults. Riley didn't yell at her the way Anna had used to even if she did do things that upset him, it was very rare that he'd raise his voice back to her. All she'd really known for the past few years was anger and shouting and it was hard to know how to react when he said things like that. "But then when you're gone, it's like you take all that with you, I'm so empty and weak, nothing seems worth doing and I always go over things, wondering how I could have done anything better or differently." The smile wobbled and faded, her eyes taking on a more hard look, a frown on her face as she looked out of the windscreen. She felt guilty now, she didn't mean to hurt him, it just kind of happened.
"I promise I won't get mad, if I'm doing something you don't like, or not doing something you want me to do, just tell me and I'll fix it." Her eyes turned to look out of her window, she really didn't want to talk about this, it was making her uncomfortable. "I don't want to ever feel empty like I did while you where in Washington.. and while you where in your room." There was another pained expression on her face.
'Whens Heather having her puppies?' She wanted to chance the topic of conversation, she didn't want to talk about this now ... or ever, she wasn't proud of her past action but couldn't they just put it behind them and move forwards. He seemed more upset that she'd left him than over the fact she'd been raped. She hadn't spoken of that over the past few days but the injection of television seemed to have helped keep her mind off it. She was blocking it out though, pretending that it hadn't happened rather than coming to grips with what had happened and it was chewing at the back of her mind. If she didn't bottle things in as much there was a large chance that she wouldn't go off the handle so much. When she was ready though she'd search for her own way of talking to someone about what had happened to her.
Part of her really was excited though at the thought of their being puppies in the house, she hadn't thought over the fact that she'd have left his house before they reached the stage that she could play with them properly. She'd never held a puppy in her life, she'd seen them in petshop windows though, or on the street and they had such an adorable clumsy sweetness about them.
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
Since part of him had hoped for her to tell him the different things she wanted him to improve about himself, he looked disappointed as she changed the subject, his eyes turning to stare outside the car sgain. Another part of him was also glade that they were going to avoid it, it's not like he wanted to know how terrible he was at everything, he never even thought about how she might want to be loved in so many different ways, now it seemed so complicated and hard.
"Soon." At first he didn't seem to happy, but he looked over at her and grinned, deciding he would rather they talk about only good things for the next few days, but especially today and tomorrow since these who special holidays. "Anytime now, she's not moving any more really, within the next few days, or even tonight, could be any moment now." He looked really excited, he hadn't been able to ever see puppies get born before, and the fact that it was the grand puppies of his old dog that he had put so much time and care into re-training made it all the more special for Riley.
Twisting his body around a little, so his back was half on the seat and half resting against the door of the car, Riley's hand reached for one of the last two sandwiches and opened it. He was so starving if they didnt have the dinner back home he'd really want to take Catherine out and they eat somewhere nice.
"Would you like one?" He offered her half of the one he unwrapped, biting into the other half slowly, he felt guilty that they where eating even though his mother went to all the trouble of cooking that wonderful dinner, even though she was getting worried since they hadn't eaten breakfast and she wasn't sure if they ate while she was out and then they didn't eat all day since she got back. Spending a moment thinking, he looking back at Catherine almost just like how a kid would look up at their parent when they saw something they wanted and yet wouldn't say anything at first.
"Ben is going to keep one of the puppies, and one of my other cousins is going to take one, there's two family's in town that wants another two and I'm allowed to get one for Emily if there's any more since Heather's getting older and isn't as playful or energetic as Emily is." He was speaking in a tone that sounded as if he was going around a certain subject he wanted to bring up, it was just, Riley had wanted a pet for so long and when he did finally get one most of his time was spent untraining it and then he was basically stolen away from his family soon after being allowed to keep Toby.
"We're assuming there will be five, no one wanted the vet to scan her and see how many there were since they all wanted it to be a surprise," There was always problems in getting a pet, and he just had awful feeling that since Catherine hadn't shown any real interest in the dogs they had wandering about, only in the fact Heather was pregnant, that she wasn't much of a pet person.
"Mum said if there's more then five then we can keep one.. if we wanted to." He added the last part a little quickly since he didn't want her to think he was pushing her to say yes when she might not want a dog running around a new born baby and perstering her. But it was rather obvious by the keen way he was waiting for her to reply that he was really hoping for there to be more then five puppies and for her to say she'd like to keep one with him.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
ooc: I'm putting this here incase I miss you and then I can delete these after since I forgot to ask yesterday when we where on.
I have been trying to make some siggies, these are the only two I have, Lisa pics are proving difficult to find right now >>
But I'm not sure how you want the siggies, anything you want different, changed, removed, I had no clue what to put for Lisa's quote since the other one she has was too long. Of course, you might not want a new Lisa siggy, but I thought you might want to see something different.. or something..>>...<<.. *Attempts to not look so paranoid*
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm"Soon." There was an excited little shiver that seemed to run down her spine. She was more thrilled at the idea of puppies than she was of her own child, though if they child had been born she'd have come around to the idea of being a mother quite quickly since her natural instincts would start to kick in. It was best perhaps if she wasn't there when Heather had her puppies though since the sight of a dog giving birth probably wouldn't do her much good. "Anytime now, she's not moving any more really, within the next few days, or even tonight, could be any moment now." She felt a kind of sympathy for the mother to be wondering if she'd get like that just before she had her baby. Her eyes dropped to look down at her flat stomach, she was going to get stretch marks at nineteen and she'd be all horrible and fat. The thought was really depressing, she'd have to get all those horrible maternal clothes as well that made you look like you'd gone rummaging though a bin looking for clothes.
"Would you like one?" She'd trained her eyes back on the road outside the car, flipping the headlights up onto full beam since the sun had long gone and all they could see out of the front of the car was darkness and an inky blue sky pricked with the lights of a thousand stars. She looked over at him, seeing him offering her the last sandwich, with a small smile she stretched over and took the food from him. Her body seemed to be starving, protesting at the fact that it was trying to build a child and was having to use up her reserves rather than anything she ate.
'Thanks.' She didn't have to change gears or anything so it wasn't too hard to eat and drive, one hand holding onto the steering wheel, her eyes trained back on the road again. She didn't see the look he was giving her until he spoke, causing her to take her eyes off the road again to show she was listening to him.
"Ben is going to keep one of the puppies, and one of my other cousins is going to take one, there's two family's in town that wants another two and I'm allowed to get one for Emily if there's any more since Heather's getting older and isn't as playful or energetic as Emily is." She wasn't sure where he was going with this whole thing .... she'd never really thought about how many puppies a dog can have and she hadn't thought about Heather's going to a new home. In fact Cat had a habit of not thinking about the future much, she didn't see the point in worrying about something that hadn't happened yet. It was part of the reason she was awful at saving money, she found it hard to grasp the idea that there might be something she might need to pay for. If she'd wanted to buy a car she'd have been able to save up for one but she wouldn't think of putting money aside for repairs or for getting a new one if it broke.
"We're assuming there will be five, no one wanted the vet to scan her and see how many there were since they all wanted it to be a surprise," Five ... she suddenly felt glad that she was only having the one. She was aware that it would hurt Heather less to have five puppies that it would for her to have just one baby though. There was a pause and if she hadn't been preoccupied with the thoughts of puppies she had realised he was about to ask her a question.
"Mum said if there's more then five then we can keep one.. if we wanted to." There was a look of surprise that moved across her face, she'd always wanted a dog and now to be given the opportunity of having a puppy. She guessed she was included in his plans since he'd said we and not I.
'Can we? Did you want one?' Her expression seemed the brightest it had been since the last night they'd fallen asleep together before they'd woken up to a world that had disintegrated around them. 'Did you want to get one?' She didn't want to just leap in and tell him that she really wanted one just in case he wasn't as enthusiastic, she was just being paranoid though since you could easily tell he wanted one by his expression.
ooc: The siggies are great, could you move Cat a little to the left please though I'll try and get back online later
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
ooc: ..*Moves her to the left* How's that?
--------------
'Can we? Did you want one?' There was that charming smile he had so rarely been given the chance to show her for his reply to her first question 'Did you want to get one?' They had to slow down as they approached the train tracks, it was good they where talking because it helped keep his mind off how she was driving. He was really excited though, he wanted to unbuckle his seat belt and just lean over to kiss her. The lights signalling a train blinked on and off repeatedly as a bell rang, and like most people, Riley's attention was drawn towards it for a moment before rubbed his eyes as looked towards Catherine once more.
"I really would like to." The keen reply sounded almost as excited as he looked even though he was trying not to get himself too hopeful, there was a chance that Heather wouldn't even have five puppies. And it was different when he tohught about getting one from a shop, sure he wouldn't mind having a shop puppy, but he really wanted one of Toby's little grand-puppies, it'd be really wonderful, if it hadn't been for Riley's eagerness to help the old dog then these puppies wouldn't have been born, and that made him feel really proud.
"I was.. I mean if you didn't mind and there are more puppies.. I was hoping maybe we would take it back to the school with us." His hands fiddled a little, obviously he had been doing a lot of thinking while he was on his own "I was just thinking.. if we're getting a bigger room, and there was that spare room I had mentioned.. if you wanted to I could set it up for the dog as well as the study." Although part of him wondered what she would prefer the most, a room or a small house just for them.
"Or we could get a place near the school if you wanted somewhere more private, we have our car so we can just drive down in the mornings." He really didn't mind himself, but he might lean towards getting their own place more since he didn't really like the idea of having so many people around him when he was with Catherine. To know Dawn and Sean where right beside their room made it really had for him when they where making love, paranoid they'd hear the yells of passion he might make while under Catherine's spell, even though he knew the walls where specially designed to drown out the sound.
The bell silenced a moment after the train vanished from sight, the loud rumbling sound it was making also fading away in the distance. Riley shifted about a little again before settling down and turning his head so he could look back towards Catherine.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
She braked rather later than she should have done for the lights, making the car jolt a little, she hardly cared though, she was too busy thinking about what it might be like to have a puppy. Riley had a really nice smile on his face that couldn't help but draw a similar facial expression from her, she looked at him almost shyly for a moment before looking away again. Feeling really akward suddenly but in a good way, like she did when they'd first been together.
"I really would like to." He recived another rather cute smile from Catherine as she reached across to increase the warm air that was flowing into the car. Outside it might be freezing cold but in here it was warm and cosy, it was almost as if they could lock everything bad that had happened to them outside the car in the dark and be happy even if it was for this short journey into town and back. "I was.. I mean if you didn't mind and there are more puppies.. I was hoping maybe we would take it back to the school with us." For the first time in days she actually felt really happy, she was going to get a puppy, she wondered what colour it would be, but then she assumed the Toby was the father and both he and Heather were black so the puppies would be that colour too wouldn't they. She had no idea she'd be so sick she couldn't be home when Heather finally did have her puppies, or that she'd be bed ridden for a while which meant she couldn't even go and see them. She was already excitedly thinking about how tiny they'd be when they were born and how long it would be until they opened their eyes and started walking. Cat had no real concept but she thought it had to be a few weeks before they'd be able to walk and play properly.
"I was just thinking.. if we're getting a bigger room, and there was that spare room I had mentioned.. if you wanted to I could set it up for the dog as well as the study." There was the rumble of a train in the distance, Cat letting the car engine humm over as she looked over at Riley, not paying much attention to the coming train. She nodded eagerly not knowing she wouldn't be moving back in with Riley again.
"Or we could get a place near the school if you wanted somewhere more private, we have our car so we can just drive down in the mornings." She liked the idea of having their own home but she wasn't sure she was ready to have her won home, she'd never really lived having to rely upon herself, she'd always had someone to do most things for her. The fact that she was going to have a child made her want to be near the medical bay though, what if she started having her baby and she wasn't near a hospital? Sometimes the thought of having a child was so scarey to her that she wanted to just curl up in Riley's arms and have him comfort her.
'I'd rather stay at the school till I have my baby.' There was the shreik of a whistle as the train suddenly came rushing up, flashing past them in a blur of light, speed and furosity before hurtling off again and leaving them sitting in the dark once again. After a moment she started up the car again and they continued on their way.
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm"Oh, no, I meant after, I'd prefer you staying inside the school this year, the school has far better techology then any hospital." His thoughts where all completely jumbled, of course he wanted her at the school while she was pregnant, it was safer to, no driving and risking car accidents and injuries. He had to admit, there was a small part of him that felt a little shut out when she had said 'My baby' instead of 'Our baby'. But he was too cheerful about how happy they where to really linger on any negative thoughts, staring ahead of them with an awfully excited look sparkling in his eyes at the thought of getting a pet with her as well as a baby.
The rest of the trip into Town Riley seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, but he never stopped looking excited, and he kept grinning at the slightest thing. All his mind could do was picture how great it would be for them to live together, to raise their daughter together, to have a puppy together. It was like after all this time thinking he'd die before he had a chance to live, that even if he did live he'd always be alone and forced to work for someone else.
But now that wasn't happening, now he was getting a family, and a home, and his family wasn't just his parents, but it was Catherine and now his daughter and soon a puppy and they where going to be just like a real family. So many terrible things had been happening, he's never been able to start getting overly excited since whenever he did start getting hapy he'd get yelled at or reminded about something awful that had happened to them.
While she drove into town, Riley pointed down the roads which she had to take to get to the hospital, he was really glade when they stopped and he as able to get out of the car. But everything was so bright, most of the street decorations didn't twinkle since it was too dangerous to have the dravers attentions diverted off the road for too long. But there where a few window displays that where blinking, Riley never realized just how dangerous Christmas could be for him if he didn't take the medication.
Riley reached out for Catherine's hands as they walked up the stairs that lead towards the entrance of the three story hospital. The place was still open, being a hospital it wouldn't even completely close since some patients needed 24 hours care every day. There was a rather bored looking nurse inside who appeared to be in her early twenties, he glanced over towards Amanda as he held open the door for Catherine to enter, still not letting go of her hand.
"You just missed her Riley, she went about Half an hour ago." The girl seemed sweet enough, she had blue eyes that seemed to scan over both Riley and Catherine as if judging every inch of them though. Her curly brown hair had blonde highlights in it, split into two pony tails and both rested over each of her shoulders. Her white nurseing outfit snuggle fit her slender body, obviously she was someone who liked to lure the boys towards her with the skimpy uniform since she had raised the hem a little to show off her longer legs.
"I'm um.. I'm looking for a doctor actually," As usual, Riley ignored the girl and glanced about half hoping by saying that he'd have someone hurrying out to meet them. Riley wasn't fond of Amanda, she was one of the girls that would go down to the farm since her mother was a friend of Martha's, snickering behind Riley's back. Of course Riley thought they where some how making fun of him instead, he was almost forteen but that didn't mean he had yet found any interest in girls, even if he still did want to grow up and have a family at that age.
But they did used to sometimes make fun of the fact he seemed so dense to their presence and to anyone who tried to flirt with him, sometimes they would give aggitated grunts and stomp off as if he did something wrong just because he didn't reply in the way they wanted him to. He was far too shy to agree to go to any gathering with them, even if he wanted to he wouldn't dare unless Ben went with him and normally they would stay out too late for Riley and so he just never bothered saying yes to anyone. Amanda had said a few nasty things to him when she felt regected, especially since her girlfriends all started giggling at her.
"Oh.. you ok though?" She picked up the sleek black phone beside her computer and pressed one of the buttons, Riley just nodded as his body seemed to inch behind Catherine's. He didn't like the idea of meeting a doctor, he really wanted to turn around and run off before anyone came to study him again. His hands crept about Catherine's waist as he let go of her hand, holding her against his body in an effort to comfort the fears that stirred from the haunting memories of all the horrible things that have ever happened to him while seeing 'doctors'.
"Doctor Thomas Jenkins is on his way, hey, so, do you remember me yet?" Amanda seemed to rather bluntly ignoring Catherine, more interested in her old class mate's sudden return from death. Penny had been showing Riley off to most of the staff when he came to pick her up so they could have lunch together, and everyone knew that he was suffering from memory problems, but now they seemed to constintly ask if he remembers anything new whenever he meets them.
"Yeah, I do, you'd go down to our farm with your mother when we had dinners, normally there where others with you and you'd all make fun of me." Riley was the type of guy that some times forgot his manners when he reminded of something that he didn't like, such as having forgotten his past, and the added fact he didn't like her made him a little less patient with Amanda when she asked him stuff like that.
"What? No way.. you got me mixed up with someone else." She laughed a little, though her eyes darted down to the sheets of paper she had been given to help fill out information on the computer.
"No, you where mad with me and I wasn't sure why and then you said something about me not knowing what to do with a girl if she fell down right in front of me. I said I'd help her up and you replied 'Oh my god you're such an idiot, how the friggin' hell can you be so dense.' after that you stormed off and the other's where laughing. Ben went to tell you off and never came back, I went to look for him and I found you two in the barn-" Amanda blushed as she yelled out 'ok' and cut him off, Riley may not like embarrassing people, but at least now she would stop asking him every damn time he walks by if he remembers anything. It might hint to the fact that Riley tends to hold gradges against people who hurt him and he finds it really hard to let go of them.
"Riley, nice to see you again." Dr Jenkin's appeared from the hall, moving towards Riley and holding out his hands, it was a small town hospital so most of the people who went to the hospital where known by first name instead of some case number. The doctor looked to be in his forties, he had blonde short hair, though you could tell dark brown was his natural colour since the roots had began to show. He was tall, but Riley still was taller, his pale green eyes glancing over at Catherine and giving her a charming smile as he shook Riley's hand.
"Please, come this way," Motioning towards his office as he moved towards it himself, Riley's hand returned to holding Catherine's as he trailed after the doctor. It was only around 7:30 so it wasn't too late for the hospital, a lot of the staff where still hovering around, most not leaving till 10 or 11 until the skeleton crew arrived to take up the late night shifts.
"Now, what may I do for you, is this about the baby?" Riley glanced around the office, there was a desk, two seats in front of it plus a much nicer and comfortable leather seat for the doctor. Off to the other side of the room was a bed for quick check ups, which caught Riley's attention for a moment before he shook his head in reply to the Doctor's question.
"No, it's about me, I have... Photo Sensitivity Syndrome.. and I needed the medication for it." It seemed to be hard for him to admit to something being wrong with him, mainly it was because it was such a stupid illness as far as he was concerned.
"Right, well, up on the bed and let me check you out first." He rummaged through his draw and Riley looked a little down hearted, he had hoped since he knew what was wrong with him then he would just be given the pills. "Come on Riley, don't look at me like that, I can't just give out medication to people because they say they have something. You don't have that listed as a condition on your report so I have to check it out, it'll be painless, up you get." His hand patted on the bench as he grinned a little, but Riley still felt nervous.. well.. as long as he didn't have to go into any of those medical rooms..
Taking in a shaky breath, Riley glanced down at Catherine before moving towards the bench, reluctantly letting his fingers slip from her hand as he climbed up onto it and sat down. Thomas placed his hand on Riley's shoulder and guided the younger man to lie down, Riley looked awfully uncomfortable as the doctor explained for Riley to just stare into the small torchlight that was being flashed in front of his eyes.
At first his eye lids just twiched a little, as if about to close but forcing themselves to remain open, there where two reactions that he could experience now, and that was either having his eyes roll back a little as he passed out, or get a blank stare as his mind enters that catatonic-like state. It was easy to tell which one he had entered since his eyes stopped reacting to the light after a short moment and stared rather lifelessly ahead. The doctor pulled the light away and begin examining Riley, it was his job to make sure no one was trying to pull off a fake need for medication, which was why he had to test Riley's condition.
"Ok.. I'm going to give you a small key chain that has a pulsing light on it, when you push the button it'll be able to bring him out of this state incase something like this happens, if he stays on his medication you shouldn't need it but we like to be on the safe side." His fingers where on Riley's pulse, pressing down on his wrist and making sure he was alright. The doctor didn't seem too fazed by the fact Riley was staring blankly up at the ceiling, placing the light over his eyes once more to try and bring him out of it.It too a few seconds before his eyelids twitched slightly from the pulsing flashing that effected his mind differently compared to most people.
Riley gave a groan as he felt the fog being cleared away from his mind, he had a headache from all the blinking lights and shut his eyes tightly as he turned his head away from the blinding flashes. Thomas smiled a little as he turned off the light, patting Riley lightly on the shoulder to signal it was over, but Riley just lifted his hand to his forehead and remained quiet with his eyes shut.
"I'll go fill out your prescription, it'll be one tablet a day, I suggest you take it in the morning once you wake up." With that the doctor hurried out of the room to collect the medication and make the needed changes to Riley's health records. Slowly Riley's knees moved off the bench as he bent them, about to forced himself to sit up, the movement of his legs and turning his head alone made him feel even worse, he felt as if just breathing too much would make him sick. He didn't realize that this wave of sickness had nothing to do with what just happened, the headaches where part of it but that was all. And if the doctor had waited to see how terrible Riley looked he might have noticed it wasn't the usual side effects of the syndrome Riley was suffering from and that something else might be starting to effect him.
He'd get really scared over the next few months, only because he wouldn't understand what was happening, but he'll related everything to the fact he's just not sleeping right or some other reason. But he wouldn't feel he was able to talk with Catherine about how he was feeling, why would she care? He would start to doubt that she ever loved him, but at the same time he'll cling to the hope that she'll return to him, that she will just be stressed over losing the baby and everything that happened.
There was also the fact that his heart implant would eat away at any drugs in his system, making it very hard for the medications he'll be taking to help him. He'd have to take more then one pill a day, and it worried him as to how he could explain going through so many to the doctor without getting them thinking he was over dosing.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm"Oh, no, I meant after, I'd prefer you staying inside the school this year, the school has far better techology then any hospital." She hadn't really thought about all the high tech equipment at the school before, she'd never wondered where they'd got all their medical things from. The one time she could really use the medical bay at the school however she wouldn't be there. When she was shot she'd have to reply upon the competance of the doctors in Huxley's hospital. Although there had been large medical advances over the past few years she'd still find herself clinging onto life. She had no idea what was about to happen to her though over the next few days, as far as she was concerned there was nothing bad about to happen and she'd spend the next few days learning that she could be happy up here in Iowa.
She didn't make any effort to speak for the rest of the journey into town, lost on her own thoughts of what the puppy would be like. She was more excited about the dog than the birth of her own child but a baby was nothing she'd really wanted before, she'd always thought about having a dog though, especially a puppy. Catherine easily negotiated her way though the town, unlike Riley though she didn't really give the blinking lights a second glance. They were nowhere as near as splendid as the massive and fancy shop displays they had in Washington. She wondered for a moment what she'd have been doing now it she was still in Washington, probably getting drunk with Nina and Brad. She hadn't really thought over the idea that she wouldn't be allowed to drink anything.
She got out of the car, closing and locking the door, handing the car keys back to Riley again, smiling slightly as he took hold of her hands. The pair of them started up the steps towards the hospital, even though she wasn't going their for treatment she still felt a shudder run though her at the thought of having needles stuck in her. Like most people she didn't really like hospitals and tended to stay away from them as much as possible. She had no idea she'd be spending several days in intensive care at the hospital in such a short space of time.
"You just missed her Riley, she went about Half an hour ago." Cat wasn't really paying much attention to the woman in front of her, her eyes were looking around the unfamiliar place trying to take everything in. She did wonder who the girl was talking about, she had no idea Riley's grandmother worked there part time.
"I'm um.. I'm looking for a doctor actually," Cat gave the girl a look over, taking hold of Riley's hand a little firmer when she saw how the woman was sitting, it was almost as if she was worried Riley was going to go charging over there and hurl himself upon that strange woman.
"Oh.. you ok though?" She had the distinct idea that Riley wasn't comfortable talking to this woman since he seemed to slink behind her and hold her inbetween her and the secretary. She didn't know it was more a reaction to the thoughts of what had happened to him in the past when he'd been in doctors surgeries. Cat gave her a little glower while she spoke on the phone to the doctor, after a few moments however she put down the phone and looked up and the apriu of them though Cat could tell she was looking at Riley rather than at her.
"Doctor Thomas Jenkins is on his way, hey, so, do you remember me yet?" Cat wasn't all together sure she wanted Riley to remember this girl who seemed to have long perfectly shaped legs and was quite happy to display them to Riley.
"Yeah, I do, you'd go down to our farm with your mother when we had dinners, normally there where others with you and you'd all make fun of me." The agility mutants frown deepened, she didn't like this girl at all, no one was allowed to make fun of Riley. Couldn't that girl see just how amazing and special he was, part of her didn't want her to see though, if she thought Riley was stupid then she wouldn't try and steal him away. She couldn't help feeling really threatened by all these strange people who knew a part of him she'd never had the chance to know.
"What? No way.. you got me mixed up with someone else." The girl had a guilty look about her, which if Cat had doubted what Riley was telling would have automatically made her think that what he said was true.
"No, you where mad with me and I wasn't sure why and then you said something about me not knowing what to do with a girl if she fell down right in front of me. I said I'd help her up and you replied 'Oh my god you're such an idiot, how the friggin' hell can you be so dense.' after that you stormed off and the other's where laughing. Ben went to tell you off and never came back, I went to look for him and I found you two in the barn-" She didn't like the idea of people laughing at Riley. She wondered for a moment if she'd tried to ask Riley out on a date or something, the idea made her want to bristle with jelousy at the idea of anyone else being allowed as close to Riley as she was. She wondered what the pair of them had been upto when Riley found them, from his voice it sounded like he'd walked in on them kissing or something.
"Riley, nice to see you again." Cat looked around to see the doctor who was making his way towards them. Her eyes moved over his features, lingering on his green eyes, he looked nice enough but it was probable she wouldn't feel the same if he was about to opperate on her or if she was hear for a check up. "Please, come this way," She tagged along behind, throwing the girl behind the desk one last glance. Riley took up her hand again, making her feel comforted by his presence in this strange new environment he'd brought her to. This was a different section of the hospital to the one she'd be in, she'd be up in the intensive care unit where she was near the opperating room if anything went wrong and where her progress could be monitored esily by the hospital staff. "Now, what may I do for you, is this about the baby?" He knew she was pregnant? Cat looked suprised, how did he know that? She didn't realise Riley's Grandmother had told quite a lot of people sicne she'd been so excited at the news. Cat suddenly felt ashamed again, was she gossiped about over their tea breaks here, she didn't realise that it was a perfectly normal thing for people to have kids at a young age in Iowa and maybe apart from the fact she wasn't married no one would bat an eyelid towards her. Looking miserable she hung around near the door while Riley explained his condition to the doctor who persuades him to lie down on the bed so he could examine him.
Cat wasn't close enough to Riley to see the rather blank look that appeared him them as the doctor shone a bright light into his eyes. Dr Jenkins turned around to her after a moment though, obviously satisfied with what he'd seen of Riley's condition.
"Ok.. I'm going to give you a small key chain that has a pulsing light on it, when you push the button it'll be able to bring him out of this state incase something like this happens, if he stays on his medication you shouldn't need it but we like to be on the safe side." There was a rather rapid nodding of Catherine's head as he explained about the key chain. She'd help Riley, it was nice to be entrusted with something important, she'd often messed things up when she was younger and people who knew her were often a little reluctant to give her anything like that which was important. She looked happier now she'd been given a job she could do, she still felt a little sulky over the fact he'd known she was pregnant.
"I'll go fill out your prescription, it'll be one tablet a day, I suggest you take it in the morning once you wake up." She watched as the man shone the light in Riley's eyes again, after a minute her boyfreind began to stir again, coming out of whatever state the light had put him into. She didn't really understand what it was that Riley was sufferening from, but she got the idea that if he saw flashing lights he'd go all weird. She heard Riley groan before he sat upright, the doctors hurrying from the room to go and get Riley's pescription. Cat hovered about for a moment before she made her way over towards the bed that Riley was still sitting on, her face looked a little concerned.
'You ok? You don't look to good?' She came to a stop just in front of him, things were still a little akward between them and she wasn't really sure how to act around him. Would he rather she comforted him when he wasn't feeling well or would he feel like she was crowding him?
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
There was a careful twist of his body as he let his legs move off the side of the bench so he could face towards Catherine and try to drop off. Normally he got sick after there was a sever change in their attitudes towards each other, it was only the third time it's felt really bad, normally it's just a slight dizzy spell which is often easily ignored. He had no idea once the baby dies and Catherine leaves him that it was going to be occuring more often, but he'll be hiding it as best he can since he will be thinking it has to do with his lack of sleep and other poor habits and he doesn't want anyone making him drop something, like a team training or his classes or his nights out hunting demons, he may be on his own but that didn't mean Forest and Graham didn't know about it.
Riley's face lifted a little to look up at Catherine, he looked a little groggy, back gently pushed himself off the bench and stood up. It was passing over, but his legs felt weak, taking a moment to ajust to his weight, his hand pressing down on the bench to help keep his balance more steady. Riley tried to offer her a little smile, though it looked rather pained, shutting his eyes, Riley's hands lifted to rub them with his palms a little in hopes of that clearing away this awful feeling that had crept over him. Taking in a deep breath, Riley then let his hands reach for Catherine's shoulders as he opened his eyes and smiled down at her again, a more pleasent look about him now that he didn't look so horribly ill.
"I'm ok now," The was a blink in which his eyes remained closed a moment longer then they normally would "It just really knocked me out," As he spoke the door opened and one of his hands dropped away wihle the doctor held out a small see through orange container that had a white lid and a lable with Riley's name and instructions on how to take the pills, plus the doctors name and phone number.
"All right, here are the tablets," Riley's fingers curled lightly about the medication and let his eyes study them for a moment. Dr Jenkins then handed him a sheet of paper with added information and details, then passed Catherine a small device that was black, it looked like a tiny light of some kind, Riley wondered why the Doctor was giving her that. "And this is the key chain I told you about, if he passes out he should just wake up on his own, but if he doesn't pass out then you need this pulsing light to wake him up." Riley stared rather uneasily at the special light, he didn't care if it was meant to help him, what if she got really mad at him one day and would threaten to use it against him if he tried to go near her?
But he quickly pushed that paranoid thought away since it was absolutly stupid, they where getting along better now, he had reason to worry before when she locked herself away but not now that they where back to talking together. Besides, Catherine wouldn't dare hurt him like that, it was too cruel, even if she was really mad for whatever reason, she couldn't possibly consider doing something so low. Well he was on medication now so as long as he took it he would be alright.
Riley seemed really eager to leave after that, quickly handling the money, which he had paid in cash, and then hurridly leading Catherine out of the hospital. It was almost 8 o'clock now, his hand taking hold of hers once more as they left the entrance and decended the stairs towards their car. There was that familiar tune of 'Everywhere' ringing from Riley's mobile again, causing him to pull it out and place it against his ear after opening it.
"Riley Finn." There was a little grin from him as he listened to the voice on the other side "No, she's here with me, we're not home right now, but we're heading there, you to, I will, bye." Riley didn't put his phone away, continuing to hold it with one hand and still holding Catherine's hand in the other "That was Angela, she says Merry Christmas and she needs to pay for a new phone card but she'll call you on New Years Eve." He seemed to hover in front of her without making any effort to get in the car or let go of her so she could get in.
"Catherine.. can we take two really quick photo's?" The way he asked made it sound as if he was asking for some big thing that would take up so much of her time. He didn't mean for it to sound that way, he was just a little guilty that he wanted more time alone with her "I want to send one to everyone with with a little message.. I thought it might be nice," He grinned a little as he added why he wanted the second one "And I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I took a photo of us for my background, I doubt I'll get any time with you alone till after tomorrow and I really want some photo's, even if it's just from the phone, I really would like to have them while I'm happy.. I don't think I can stay too cheerful around Ben and he's staying the night." Riley was starving for affection, the thought of not being able to hold and kiss her for even more days was rather painful to think about since he missed her so much already.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
She watched carefully as Riley got to his feet, one of his hands reaching for the side of the bed to steady himself, he really did look quite unwell. She had no reason to believe that this was anything other than the result of having that light shone in his eyes, she'd have been horrified to learn the truth that he was suffering from another contition, one which if untreated coud affect his very life. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and gave her a little smile, he looked a little better now, some of the colour was coming back into his cheeks.
"I'm ok now," She wanted to reach across and comfort him but she seemed to be frozen into place where she was, what if he didn't want her affection? What if he tried to push her away? Her thoughts were stupid since she knew how much he loved her and there was no reason on earth why he should reject her comfort, she still felt unable to do or say anything though. "It just really knocked me out," There was the sound of the door opening as the doctor came back into the room, carrying a bottle of pills as he came. There was a little shudder than traced down the back of Cat's spine, the bottle he was holding looked horribly like the one her anti depressants had come in. That was because the bottle was a standard issue one which was given out with most pills. The sight of it brought back unpleasent memories for her, being taken off her medication had been one of the hardest things that had ever happened to her. It was also part of the reason she seemed to go off the rails for a short while.
"All right, here are the tablets," She shook herself lightly as Dr. Jenkins handed her over a small black device, she turned it over in her hands, studying the small key ring. It was suprising that somehting so small and unrelated to medicine could bring Riley out of whatever kind of trace seen lights could put him in. "And this is the key chain I told you about, if he passes out he should just wake up on his own, but if he doesn't pass out then you need this pulsing light to wake him up." She watched Riley pay for the medication and thank the doctor. Cat was glad he hadn't mentioned anything about the baby, she didn't want to have a checkup or something. As they exited the building he took hold of her hand again, leading her down the steps and across the car park. She listened as he pulled out his phone and held it upto his ear, talking on the phone to Angela, she was a little dissapointed Angie hadn't phoned her but after Riley said she'd phone new years eve she felt a little better. He seemed to hesitate as they walked though, looking down at her as if an idea had suddenly occured to him.
"Catherine.. can we take two really quick photo's?" ... "I want to send one to everyone with with a little message.. I thought it might be nice," Mobile phone pictures weren't the best in the world but his phone was the only camera he had at the moment so he had little choice. There was a little thrill as she remembered Riley was on the screen of her phone. "And I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I took a photo of us for my background, I doubt I'll get any time with you alone till after tomorrow and I really want some photo's, even if it's just from the phone, I really would like to have them while I'm happy.. I don't think I can stay too cheerful around Ben and he's staying the night." Her expression suddenly looked a little depressed, she was hoping Ben wouldn't be there tonight but now she knew she had to spend Christmas day with someone who hated her as well. She didn't think her Christmas could get anyworse but at the mention of Ben's name her counternance seemed to drop.
'Yeah ok ...' There was a pause. 'He doesn't like me does he?' She wanted to ask if he had to be there on Christmas day but she didn't have the nerve to say anything like that about Riley's cousin. Maybe if she didn't say anything about him he wouldn't say anything about her.
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
There was a little look of sadness that crept into his face that had just been thrilled to be allowed to take photo's, how can she think Ben doesn't like 'her'.. It wasn't her he didn't like, it was the mutant gene inside her, and that didn't really help comfort her if he tried to tell her that, but Ben had no right to say he hates them when he doesn't hate who they are, just what they are, or in Riley's case, what Ben thought Riley was.
"Catherine, Ben's an idiot," Riley started with a slight hint of aggitation "He doesn't even know us, he think's I'm a dangerous mutant and doesn't let me any where near anyway without telling them to be careful in some crude way or another." It was really hurtful to have someone whispering to others while Riley was standing right there, especially since they where his family. "He doesn't hate who you are, he just hates what he thinks you should be like in his mind, because he doesn't know how wonderful you are." There was ashort little pause as he let his arms gently wrap more around her, even though he continued to hold the phone in one hand, he gave her a small charming little grin as he was obviously trying to cheer her up and also hope to win some affection as a reward.
"Come on, we'll get on the car." Shoving the thought of Ben from his mind, Riley fiddled with his phone for one moment and then looked really excited as he quickly clipped it onto the collar of his top. His hands carefully helped lift Catherine up onto the front of his car, climbing on after her quickly, he had to keep the grip of his sneaks on the metalic surface otherwise he would have had trouble staying on the bonnet. He didn't want to have to bend down and it was too cold to sit on the steps and too cramped for his liking in the car, and it would been really dark as well, atleast out here they have the street lights and everything. Riley shifted about a little more, his hands holding onto Catherine's waist as he shuffled back right up against the windscreen. It was an armoured metal so there was no chance of denting it, because Riley knew it was so strong he barely cared if he sat on it or had people putting things on his car like a lot of people tended to get snappy about.
"Comfy?" He asked as he helped her back against his body so she was sitting in front of him between his legs which where helping support her body on the car so she didn't slip forward. His arms where still about her waist though his hands had stopped holding her sides and was over her stomach, his fingers entwined together as he waited to see if she was alright. He would be lying if he said having her this close to him again didn't effect him in any way, he just wanted to hurry incase it became too obvious and she yelled at him again. He wasn't sure he wanted to make love to her though, even if she offered, they where getting on nicely again and he didn't want her to remember why she had gotten so mad at him and didn't want to be around him.
"Ok then," He lifted up the phone in front of them and stared at the screen, grinning again with excitment since he's been wanting a photo of them for so many months now "Ready now?" He asked just to make sure she knew he was about to take a photo, now that they where sitting down he wasn't towering over her, and he would have hated that, besides, they looked much closer when they where like this. He gave a smile at her before looking at the screen, he was really nervous as well because he wanted even these poor photo's (though good quality on the phone, as soon as you tried to download them onto the computer they'd pixelate too much) to turn out really nicely.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm"Catherine, Ben's an idiot," That didn't change the thought that someone didn't like her, openly didn't like her. She felt very threatened over the fact that there was someone out there that might wish harm on her and her child. Her hand instinctivley crept over towards her stomach, one of her fingers caressing over her tummy, the motion seemed to make her feel better since the expression in her eyes became more normal after a few moments. It seemed that Cat thought it was alright for her to talk about killing her child but it wasn't ok for anyone else to do so or even hint that they weren't too happy with the fact that she was pregnant. "He doesn't even know us, he think's I'm a dangerous mutant and doesn't let me any where near anyway without telling them to be careful in some crude way or another." It wasn't a nice thought to think that someone was afraid of you for something you couldn't help. It wasn't like she'd ever wanted to be a mutant, Cat looked across at him, trying to form some kind of amile on her face. "He doesn't hate who you are, he just hates what he thinks you should be like in his mind, because he doesn't know how wonderful you are." Maybe but saying that didn't stop it from hurting at all.
"Come on, we'll get on the car." She looked at him rahter stupidly for a moemtn as if she didn't really understand what he was asking her to do, didn't he mean get in the car? She'd forgotten they were going to take photo's, she suddenly felt really shy, like most people she had a bit of a thing about having her picture taken. A moment later he'd picked her up and placed her carefully down on the bonnet of the car, clambouring up next to her. Her eyes seemed to wander around the small carpark as if expecting there to be a crowd gathered to watch them. She couldn't see it, but there was elder man who was dying from a cancer that was spreading though his bones who was watching the young couple. He was lying propped up by pillows, an oxygen mask making it easier for him to breath, the sight of the couple made him think back to when he'd been a young man courting his wife who had passed away several years ago. By the time Cat would be admitted to the ward his bed would be empty and his soul would have gone to join his wife's
"Comfy?" There was a nervous nodd of her head as he wrapped his arms around her waist, they hadn't been this close to one another since she'd yelled at him. She was ashamed now of what she'd said to him, but she didn't know how to go about saying sorry. "Ok then," There was a little blush in her cheeks as he held up the phone, it all felt so akward but she did her best to put a happy smile of her face even though it wasn't anything near as pretty as she looked when she put her whole mind to smiling properly. "Ready now?" There was a quick nodd of her head, she just wanted to get this over and done with even though she knew she'd miss being this close to him once he'd taken the photo.
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
I'll try and get back online later 
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