Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
ooc: Ok, how is that *Points up at slightly changed siggy*
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It was nice that she was doing this for him, they both haven't eaten and he figured she was really keen on getting back, lifting the phone a little more as he saw her smile. She looked pretty when she smiled, she never smiled enough but when she did she really lit up.. right now she didn't have that glow about her so he new she wasn't really happy, he understood how hurtful it was not to be liked by someone because of what they thought you where and what they assume you'd be like. After all, that's how Catherine had treated Riley when they first met, first she had hated him, she was afraid of him everytime he went near her.. but now she loved him, now she lets him hold her, at least most of the time.. when they weren't fighting.
Their faces one the screen moved while the phone's camera was on them, showing their faces but not recording anything, the screen went still for a moment to show it had taken a photo of them. Both their faces where looking towards the picture, it was an alright photo, but they didn't look really happy as you'd expect people to be on Christmas, Riley didn't really care at that point, they where out in the cold on the front of his car while they had a Christmas Eve dinner finishing being cooked up back come. He grinned happily at the simple fact he finally got a picture with her, although he continued to hold the phone up so it could take its pictures, he partially forgot as he focused on Catherine. He had one photo and that was enough to cause him sheer delight, he leaned his face closer towards Catherine, quickly though looking back at the phone as he remembered he wanted a second picture.
The second one came out much better, but in truth he hadn't wanted that kind of picture, he would have rathered someone take a photo of them together so it got more of them, that way he could be holding her with both hands. When he dropped the phone away he looked a little disappointed that he had to let go of her, it was so awkward to get close to her but when he was he never wanted to leave because he knew it would just be hard to get near her again. But Riley's arms wrapped more affectionatly about her, the lower part of his face resting against the back of Catherine's shoulder for a moment before he looked up at her.
"Thank you for coming out here with me," His lips pressed lightly against her cheek, his body slowly sliding off the front of the car as he held her so she didn't fall off. It was going to be so hard for him during their time apart, especially since Graham will be getting Married during that time and Forrest will be continuously bringing dates to the apartment with him or coaxing Riley to go out with him which would only end up with Forrest courting some girl while Riley waits impatiently for them to go home. He'll be reminded all the time just what he doesn't have and it was only going to make everything hurt more for him while he tries to get to grips with losing both the child and Catherine.
When he let go of her, he really wanted to give her a proper kiss, but everything was still so awkward between them that he didn't dare want to risk pushing her into thinking he was just forcing her to get over whatever was upseting her. He blushed a little though as he looked away, he felt really stupid, it was Christmas Eve, they where late for the dinner, and all his mind could think about was having Catherine all to himself again. He pulled out the car keys she had given him before and unlocked the car, handing them over to her with a small smile before quickly making his way into the car.
Dropping the medication and his phone and the paper into the storage department in front of him in the dashboard, Riley then grabbed at the seatbelt and pulled it over his body, clipping it in and taking in a deep breath as he pressed his palms together and laced his fingers, resting his hands on his lap as he looked over towards Catherine while she hopped in. He was really jealous over the fact that if he got worked up even in the slightest she'd be able to tell but it would be near impossible for Riley to know if she was worked up unless she threw herself at him. And it wasn't so much that he was really worked up, it was more the fact he has those horrible nightmares of hurting her while he makes love to her, especially over the past few days they only seem to get worse, though the memory was being twisted about in his dreams.
The fact Catherine had gotten so mad at him while he was trying to love her really hurt and even if she did work him up like part of him was longing for, it would only cause him to get depressed and worry over his inability to please her. Riley would be able to talk with his friends about his relationship with Catherine though, it would be the first time he has anyone to talk to, it would be a pity that when he can start to talk to someone they'd be broken up at the time. It might help Riley stop feeling so awful if he knew it was normal for guys to desire time with their girl friends or any girl, especially if its been a while since he's been with her and the added fact he has only made love a few times so it was still something his body was demanding to experience more of.
Riley just wanted to get home so he could distract his mind with other things, of course he also didn't know that the house was full of couples and kids and he would be swamped with this single thought and the side thought that just seemed to whisper cruely that he shouldn't bother wanting to be with her since it would just ruin what little improvement they had gained around each other.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
The only way she could tell he was still really happy was by the fact she could see his face in the screen of the phone. She wondered if the phone Riley had oculd take pictures, she knew some phones could store pictures even if they couldn't take any. Moving one hand she tucked a stray strand of golden blonde hair behind her left ear, her eyes looking at the frozen picture of her and Riley had his phone had captured. It felt really odd having a photo taken with him and it made her feel awfully self concious all of a sudden. He didn't seem to be moving and she realised it was because he was going to take another picture of the pair of them. She tried once again to put a happy smile on her face but even that simple act seemed to exhaust her.
Some part of her still felt as if it wasn't fair that Riley got to spend christmas with his family where as she was all alone. Dave had gone back to England and she hadn't made any effort to contact him, she didn't expect him to come back over here either. If she'd have thought it through properly she'd have realised that she was spending Christmas with her unborn child so she wasn't alone.
The camera screen froze again, indicating that it had taken another picture of them. Her eyes dropped away from the camera, looking down at her legs that were streatched out either side of her. It didn't seem right that things were so akward between them now and she wished she hadn't shouted at him. It hadn't been his fault that what had happened had happened. He wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling his face down against the back of her shoulder.
"Thank you for coming out here with me," There was the feel of his lips brushing against her cheek before he moved his body to slide off the bonnet of the car, carefully holding Cat as they hit the floor. He seemed to akwardly let go of her, his eyes looking down at her before he passed hte keys to his car and hurried off to get in the passenger seat. Cat however loytered for a moment, looking back at the small hospital, feeling a sudden chill run down her spine. She turned away and quickly scrambled back into the car. Starting the engine and backing the car out of the parking spot. She suddenly wanted to get as far away from the place as she could, not knowing she'd be living there in less than a week.
They drove in silence for a while, Cat following the route they'd taken to get into town and then putting her foot down again once they'd left the town. She didn't want Riley to be too late for his meal with his family, she was hoping she could slink back upto her room quite quickly. Everyone whould be fussing over Riley so they shouldn't miss her not being there.
'Riley...' There was a breif silence as though she was searching for words and she wasn't sure what they were. 'I shoulnd't have shouted at you ... I'm sorry.'
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm'Riley...' The young Father-to-be was busying his mind from the way she was driving by playing with his phone, it had taken more then just two pictures, but most of the ones he hadn't intended on taking where blured with either Catherine's hand moving or his face turning. But his name, Riley lifted his eyes to looked over towards Catherine, a little smile rugging at the corner of his lips 'I shouldn't have shouted at you ... I'm sorry.' It was obvious the topic had taken him by surprise, unable to help just staring at her for a moment as the apology sank in. He seemed uncomfortable with the reminder of what she had done though, not because she had yelled at him, but also because it had made him feel awful that he had made her so upset just because he wasn't experienced enough to please her properly.
But he was so scared to reply for the fact that he didn't know what to say, and if he said something, or asked something that he really wanted to know, she'd just get mad again and then he wouldn't see her all night or all Christmas. Although he offered a little weak smile to show it was nice for her to say that, it faded away rather quickly as his eyes dropped down again and stared forlornly towards the phone he held over his lap.
"..Am.." He started, but it was so humiliating, his eyes drifting to stare out of his side window for a moment before dropping back down towards his phone which he had now just closed "..Am I really that bad when I love you?" It felt like such a horrible thing to ask, especially since everyone went on about how good he was at so many different things, and normally he was really good with his hands, if he wasn't so shy and modest and worried Catherine would freak out a little like Dawn said she would then he might have shown her some of the things he had done of her in his artistic classes. He didn't know that she wouldn't feel like how Dawn said she might, it was going to be a while before she's able to see them, and it won't be by Riley's choice.
But to think he wasn't any good at the one thing he would want to be good at was really terrible, he wanted to be so perfect for her and all he seemed to be doing was letting her down constantly.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm
There was an akward silence after she had spoken that made her wish that she'd never said anything, she shouldn't have brought it up. They'd been getting along so well up untill now and she'd gone and made things all weird again between them. Her hands tightened a little around the steering wheel, her eyes looking ahead at the road in front of her, trying to focus on driving rather than the fact that Riley didn't seem to be replying to her and his eyes were downcast towards the phone in his lap.
"..Am.." Her eyes slid over to his face, wondering what he was going to say to her. He didn't sound happy though so she wasn't hopeful that it would be anything nice. "..Am I really that bad when I love you?" There was a feeling as though someone was crushing her heart, he thought she didn't like it when they were together... Couldn't he tell she loved being with him, that she really enjoyed having him so close to her, being inside her?
'No! ... no.. it's nice, your nice. It still felt lovely the last time.' She looked away, her cheeks colouring slightly at what she'd just said. Her eyes stared ahead of her, looking for any sign of the house in the darkness even though they were still miles away from it. She wasn't really looking forwards to tomorrow, she didn't want to be a spare part on Christmas day. One of her hands stroked over the steering wheel rather nervously. She was worried that he wouldn't like the gift she'd got him, or even worse he'd be dissapointed. She wanted to get back so she could check she'd packed the gifts for him and his parents even though she'd already made sure she'd got them three or four times since she got there.
Cat: Can there be any hope for us after all thats happened?
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm'No! ... no.. it's nice, your nice. It still felt lovely the last time.' His eyes turned over towards her as she spoke, it was also more the way she said it that really lifted his spirits, causing him to flash a shy little grin at her comment even though she was staring ahead of the road. It was really natural for anyone to want to be good at making love, and he still felt bad that he was so upset over that, in truth he was really hurt still that she had said she hated him and that he made her pregnant, but he had pushed those thoughts right out of his mind since he had offered that choice of Cat leaving the baby with his family so it didn't 'ruin' her life.
"It was?" He sounded pleased, and very relieved, it was worse for the fact she had made it sound like he kept leaving her unsatisfied. He let his smile fade a little as he stared down at his lap, "But I am sorry.. about.. you know.." He blushed a little since it was rather embarressing to actually think of what he had been doing to her in front of the fireplace "It's just.. I've just been having these dreams and I keep doing things and they keep hurting you and it was just hard to do something like that.. but I'll get better next time." There was a nervous feeling running through him as he said that, he didn't want her to think he was really eager to be with her again, he felt really selfish because of those thoughts, even though he had told her once that talking about things like this effects him easily.
"I mean, you know, if.. when.. you're going to sit with us in the family room when we finish dinner right?" Riley changed the subject instantly as it became a little too awkward for him "I don't want to stay there alone, all they do is ask about you and I'm not sure what you'd want me to tell them or not tell them." His fingers kept fiddling with his phone as glanced up at the road ahead of them, he was feeling better though, even if he was a little shy about talking on the subject of their love making.
Re: The Day Before Christmas - Calm before the Storm"It was?" He sounded very relieved at her words and she could tell by the tone of his voice that he had been worrying over what had happened. She felt bad about what she'd done before, she should never have shouted at him in the first palce. It hadn't really been his fault what had happened had happened, he'd been trying his hardest and he didn't have anyone to tell him exactly what he was supposed to be doing. "But I am sorry.. about.. you know.." There was a red flush developing on her face as she stared rather fixedly ahead at the road which was laid out in front of her. It was almost like her and Riley had their own little world in side the car since out side it looked like there was no one else alive.
"It's just.. I've just been having these dreams and I keep doing things and they keep hurting you and it was just hard to do something like that.. but I'll get better next time." He sounded upset at first as he started talking but it changed to have a note of determination in it. She didn't assum that the dreams of him hurting her were actually memories of what Marc had done to her. She was finding it easier to cope with out here, she could just pretend that nothing had happened. It seemed to be working for now but she'd still have to go back to the school and face everyhting and everyone once they got back from Iowa. For now though she was happy in just putting it to the back of her mind.
"I mean, you know, if.. when.. you're going to sit with us in the family room when we finish dinner right?" She looked across at him before letting her attention drift away again over towards the road. She didn't really want to sit with his family, she knew she'd feel all akward and like an outsider and she didn't want to be around Ben. She couldn't dissapoint Riley though sicne he seemed eager for her to be there with him. She guessed that meeting all the rest of his family must be a daunting thought for her and she did want to be there for him. "I don't want to stay there alone, all they do is ask about you and I'm not sure what you'd want me to tell them or not tell them." She nodded in reply to his earlier statement as he talked. She'd agree to go and sit with him but maybe not for that long. Cat had no idea how many people would be there either and she wasn't sure who was coming apart from his grandparents and Ben's part of the famil. She was nervous over meeting him after she'd heard him say horrid things about her before, there had been a rush of affection for Riley though as he stood up for her.
Cat: It feels like my world is slipping through my fingers and I don't know how to hold onto it
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