dulldude1 
Crusty Cootie Biscuits
Posts: 99
(4/7/04 10:33 am)
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more offensive stuff from his dullness
good morning boys and girls. welcome to todays humor page.
now to start off with a nice titbit oops i mean tidbit....
Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes? No need to wonder any longer....
A - Almost Boobs
B - Barely there
C - Can Do
D - Damn good
E - Enormous
F - Fake
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A man goes to the Doctor and says: "Doc, i have a problem, my penis is too big. It is 20 inches long!".
The doctor looks worried and says: "you're right. it's way too big. I'll tell you what you need to do - outside the city in a small forest there is a magical frog. When you find her, ask her if she wants to marry you. Every time she says no, your penis will be 4 inches shorter".
So the man goes to the forest and finds the frog. He tells her: "Hi dear frog, would you like to marry me?".
The frog answers coldly: "not a chance".
Immediately after, the man's penis loses 4 inches. He goes home but after a while he discovers that 16 inches is still way too much. He goes back to the frog and asks: "will you marry me?".
The frog answers: "No!".
After a whil, unsetisfied also with his 12 inches, the man decided to go to the frog one last time. he asks her: "dear frog, will you marry me?".
The frog answers: "how many times do i have to tell you? no! no! no!".
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A ninety year old man lived in a rest home and got a weekend pass. He stopped in his favorite bar and sat at the end and ordered a drink. He noticed a seventy year old woman at the other end of the bar and he told the bartender to buy the lovely young lady a drink. As evening progressed, the old man joined the lady and they went to her apartment, where they got it on. Four days later, the old man noticed that he was developing a drip, and he headed for the rest home doctor. After careful examination the doctor asked asked the old man if he had engaged in sex recently.
The old man said, "Sure!"
The doctor asked if he could remember who the woman was and where she lived.
"Sure, why?"
"Well you'd better get over there, you're about to cum!"
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Kung Chow called his boss and said: "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache, leg hurt, I not come work."
The boss says: "Kung Chow I really need you today. When I feel sick like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that."
Two hours later Kung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great, I be at work soon. You got nice house."
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and last but not least........
A blonde girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: Ok, I'm going to check if you have a concussion.
Sharon: Ok
Medic: Ok the how many fingers am I putting up
Sharon: Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!
And I thought only my ex-wife was like that!
Happy day boys and girls
COME SEE ME AND THE COLD ONE AT GAMBLERS DEN |
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